I woke up, thinking about how the world was getting crueler to me. I had a child. I had actual responsibility. I was getting in trouble more than ever. People hate me more than ever. I didn't understand why, I just did what seemed right. Looking back, I shouldn't have thrown that mic stand. And when they asked about it, I didn't want to seem soft. What was I suppose to do? Apologize? I would just get hated even more. No matter what I did, I would get hated on.
I then rolled over and checked my phone. There were a few tweets from people that hated me and the direction I was going into. I just blocked them. It had just gotten too hard to deal with them. In a way, it was better than commenting back. Mostly because if I did, I'd get more hate for what I do say. Then there were the people that stayed loyal fans, tweeting words of love for this villain. And finally, I got two texts. One from Crissy and the other from a Nick.
Crissy is my girlfriend, who just happens to be pregnant. She's nice, I guess. I tell everyone that I'm happy with her… but something is just missing. Her text was a good morning one. She was just like that. Despite her cheerleader body, she was quite considerate and intelligent.
The other message, the one from Nick, was an offer to work together on a song. At first I didn't realize who it was, but then I saw who it was, first and last name. It was Nicholas Matthews from that band, Get Scared. They were good, not hard, but still good. I was surprised that Nick even thought of me as a person. You know, after the whole suicide thing. I was kind of a dick, and then tweeting Jamie like that was low. I did say sorry for that. It was kind of the human thing to do. Suicide was no joke to me.
Anyways, Nick asked if I wanted to help him with a song for him. I said yes, but not right away to avoid seeming too eager. I was excited. I was thinking maybe if I did this and it was good, people would stop hating me so much. Nick had sent a text back and set up a time and place to meet. He wanted to meet in his hometown of Layton. I said that that was okay and then called Crissy. I dreaded this call. I dialed her number and held the phone to my ear. Then her perky voice answered the call.
"Hey, babe." I said, staring at the ceiling.
"Hey, hun. What's up?" Crissy asked. I closed my eyes and could almost imagine the smile on her face. At that image, all I could really do was sigh. She heard that and her voice changed tones. "Babe, what's wrong?" She asked. I cleared my throat, to prepare to tell her what I had to do.
"Well, I've got to go to Layton for a few days. One of the guys from Get Scared called and he wants to get together and produce a song with me. I think it could be good for both Get Scared and Falling In Reverse." I said. Crissy sighed. She could have said a million things. She could have pouted and whined. She could have bitched about how she was going to be home in a few days to spend time with me anyways. But she didn't. She just wasn't that selfish. She was one of those people that thought about the greater good.
"That's okay. I understand. I could go see Amy. You know her, she's been dying to see me ever since we found out about Willow." Crissy said, looking at the Brightside of things. I couldn't help but smile.
"See, that's my girl. You have fun with Amy, I'll pack and I'll text you when I land. Okay?" I said, still smiling.
"Okay, babe." She said. I glanced at a mirror and saw someone that was trying to happy for his girl…even though he really wasn't. "I love you," she added.
"Alright, baby. I love you, too." And I hung up. I got out of bed and stretched. That day was going to be long, I could already tell.
After looking like I was about to break my back, bending backwards to pop it, I walked out of my bedroom and into the kitchen. I guessed I would have looked like the stereotypical guy, scratching their abdomen while walking to the fridge, but give me a break. I think I can stand to be a stereotypical guy every once and a while. When I reached my destination, I pulled out a piece of left over chicken and took a bite out of it. It tasted like my life at that point. Boring and dry. I sighed, and finished it. When I was done, I texted the rest of the band and told them where I was going and why. The only person that really cared was Jacky.
That was probably because he was a my best friend out of them all. Don't get me wrong, I love all of the guys. But Derek's got a girl, so she's always first. Ron's kinda quiet and we don't talk too much out side of interviews, gigs and anything else in the band. And Ryan's just the friend that you want around for a good time. Out of all of them, Jacky was the closest to me. Which I never really minded.
After sending a generic text to the rest of the band, I took a shower and that's when Jacky started talking about it. He asked everything someone could ask. Am I excited? Do I need help packing? How long would I be gone? Do I want him to take care of Charlie? When was I going? Do I need him to go with him for help? Was I nervous about seeing Nick again? Was I going to drive? If so, could he come with? I would have been bugged if it were Crissy asking all of these questions. But I knew half of them weren't serious and the other was because he cared.
I told him that I was going to be fine, he needed to take Charlie, I was going to fly and that he could help me come pack if he wanted to. He said that he would be over in a few. I got out of the shower and toweled off. Then, I wrapped my hair up in my towel. I was alone after all. Well, almost. Charlie was still there. Thank God, he wasn't wait for me when I got out. I don't want to sound to graphic, but I had a hard on. I knew Jacky was staying about half an hour away from where I lived. So, I had time to get rid of it. I walked as one does with an erection and laid down on my bed.
I closed my eyes and thought about Crissy. I put my left hand on my cock and began stroking it, imagining Crissy's pussy running up and down it. But then, mid stroke, my phone vibrated. I picked it up, still going and saw I got a tweet from some guy, Jonny Braddock. I looked at his Twitter profile and came. I threw my phone to the end of my bed to avoid getting cum on it.
"Goddamn!" I said. I took my hair out of the towel and cleaned myself up. By then, I was beginning to get soft, so clean up was easy. I threw the towel in the hamper, well more at the hamper because I missed. It landed to the left of it, and walked past it to my closet to put on a pair of basketball shorts. I walked back over and put the towel in the hamper. It's not like I needed Jacky to see that and guess what was going on. I then walked back into the bathroom and combed my hair.
Most people liked to think that I didn't do anything with my hair, but I did. There was almost a science to getting the perfect messy look. When I was done, and my hair looked the same as always, Jacky had arrived and walked in through the front door.
"Ronnie! A, yo! I'm here!" Jacky called out to an empty, yet cozy living room. I sighed and walked out to see Jacky dressed like he usually is. He was wearing jeans that were so tight they looked like they could have been painted on and a plain white t-shirt. He had recently dyed his hair a dark brown, but had no bandana to hold it out of his face. So, I only saw half of his face.
"Hey, man." I said, walking towards him for a bro-hug. We hugged and let go of each other.
"So," Jack said while jumping over the back of one of my couches and sitting it in, "Have you started packing?" I thought about how I wanted to start pack after I was done showering… but we both know what happened after that.
"Um, no. I haven't even started." I said, looking at Jacky. He had this little look in his eye. It was unlike Jacky, but not in a bad way.
"Ah, slacker!" He said, tossing his head back with a little chuckle.
"Aye now, you sound like Crissy." I said, trying to be light about it. But Jacky didn't take it like that. All he heard was Crissy and was done. You see, Jacky doesn't like Crissy. Thinks she's bad for the band, that after we have the baby that I'm going to stop making music. At the time, I told him that that wasn't going to happen… but I guess he still didn't see it that way. I looked at Jacky and saw a sign of minor disgust, but that blew over. Jacky didn't like showing that he didn't like her because he knew how much I did. But he tried to make of it what he could.
"So, how did she take it?" He asked, knowing full and well that I saw the face he made when I said he name.
"Oh, well you know. She's going to go see her friend Amy in Montana, so… she won't be lonely." I said. Jacky nodded like he understood, but I knew that that was fake. Jacky took a deep breath and started to get up.
"Well," He said when he patted my back and started to walk to my bedroom, "Let's get you pack, and then I'll drive you to the air port." I nodded and we walked into my room to start packing for my trip to Layton, Utah. There was a little small talk here and there… but it was awkward. I thought about how if I didn't compare Jacky to Crissy, packing would have been better. But then, as if like an omen, Jacky saw my phone on the corner of my bed, about to fall. He caught it before it did.
Hey, here." Jacky said, almost handing me the phone until he saw what was on the screen. "Ooh, who's this?" He said as he walked away looking at Johnny's Twitter feed. I saw him, and told him to give it back to me.
"Come on, Jacky, give it back." I said. Jacky giggled.
"Ooh, Mr. Johnny Braddock is oh-so deep!" He said. I felt my cheeks heat up and followed Jacky.
"Come on, Jack. Just give it back!" I said. Jacky lifted the phone up in the air so that I couldn't reach it.
"Never!" Jacky exclaimed. He jumped to get it, nearly knocking him over in the process. When my fingers closed around it, I took t away from Jacky's hand and held up in a victorious matter.
"Ha! Suck it!" I said, getting off of Johnny's page and turning off the screen on my phone. Me and Jacky chuckled for a bit. It was funny.
"So, mind telling me what that was about?" Jacky asked. I took in a breath, trying to catch it from the giggles. Then, I nodded.
"He Tweeted me and I wanted to see who it was." I said, still smiling.
"So, who is he?" Jacky asked, with a sudden hint of seriousness in his voice.
"He's the uh..He's the lead guitar for Get Scared." I said.
"Hey, like me." Jacky said. He looked down at his hands, like he was in deep though.
"Yeah, like you." I said, wondering what he was thinking about.
"Do you think you'll see him?" He asked as he looked up.
"Who?" I asked, oblivious as to who he was talking about.
"Johnny." He said. I thought about it. It seemed obvious. If I was going to be producing a song, it only made sense that all of the band was going to be there… right? Right.
"Uh, yea.. I think so." I said. It got really quiet in the room. I felt like Jacky wanted to say something, but he didn't. He took a deep breath and got up. We started packing my bags again. And then Jacky was back to his old nagging self.
"God, Ronnie. Do you wear anything else but black?" He asked. I chuckled, he was right. Like 93% of my clothes were black.
"No," I said, serious as ever.
"Why not? You'd look good in red. All the fans think so." Jacky said. I leaned in, ever so closely. I was so close, Jacky shivered.
"Because black is the color of my soul." I laughed, as Jacky slapped my chest with a red shirt in his hand.
"I'll get you some white shirts or something later. When's your flight?" He asked. Then I realized that I hadn't booked my flight yet. I went online and booked a flight taking off in two hours. I looked up at him staring at me, waiting for an answer.
"About two hours," I said. Jacky nodded and picked up my bags, that were fully packed.
"Well, I'll put this in my trunk and you can get ready." He turned around and went to go put his bags in his trunk. I sighed and took off my shorts, they were sticky from left overs from earlier. Sadly, it left a white mark on the lower thigh. Thank God Jacky didn't see that. I wouldn't ever be able to live that down. I threw that in the hamper. I pulled on a pair of boxers and ventured into my closet for a pair of blue jeans. I didn't know what the weather was going to be like in Utah, and I didn't bother checking. I assumed that it was going to be cold, so I put on a simple gray v-neck and grabbed a leather jacket. By the time I had reached for the bottom of my closet for my matching leather boots, Jacky was back in the house. He had stridden into my room. When he did, I stood up.
"So, what do you want to do now?" I asked. Jacky leaned against the door frame and thought about it for a bit.
"Well, I doubt you'd want to go shopping. You wouldn't want to go see a movie, there isn't enough time. We could just go to the air port if you don't mind the fans and haters and such. You could take your anxiety pills before we go so you don't get angry." He said. Jacky was the only one in the world, besides me and the doctor, that knew about the anxiety. Or the pills. I knew that if Crissy knew, or anyone else in the band or even my brother, they would worry about me getting hooked. But Jacky was the one that helped me take them when I needed them and made sure that I didn't take them too much. In some ways, I felt closer to me than anyone. Taking all of that into consideration, I nodded.
"Ya, let's just go there. I just hope that there isn't any traffic." I said. Jacky and I left the house, but not before I said goodbye to Charlie. He was a good dog. I never asked too much out of him, just that he never bark unless someone was here that he didn't know. I loved Charlie. I said goodbye, hugged him and then left him. When we walked outside, I locked the door and gave Jacky the key.
We got into his car and he turned on some miscellaneous pop station. I didn't say anything, I just let him drive. The windows were down and it was a nice warm day to be alive. Even if I was going to be away from someone I loved, I didn't mind. At that time I didn't know whether I meant Crissy. When we got on the highway, there was a healthy bit of traffic, but nothing a little road rage from Jacky couldn't handle.
You see, Jacky is one of the angriest drivers you will ever hear of. He makes up his own cuss words when it come to the road. And he blames everyone if he makes a mistake. If he misses his exit, it was a music's fault.
"The bitch told me to go left when I was suppose to merge right!" He said one time. But this time was bit different. I could tell that something was bothering him, because he was extra hostile. He was honking his horn and yelling out of the window. This car cut us off. Jacky was red in the face, already. And he let out quite the string of words.
"You stupid fucking twat! Can you not see or is it because your fucking eyes aren't open all of the way?! Maybe that's because of all of the jizz you've been swallowing! You texting and driving attention whore!" We drove past her, and Jacky flipped her off. She saw that and flipped us off. Jacky snapped. "Right back at ya, you prissy, fake-haired, bitch. Why don't you just go twerk on Lil' Wayne! You fit the part!" I couldn't help but laugh. It was just so damn funny. We drove past her. Jacky was still pissed off, and I was still laughing.
"And they say I need anger management!" I said. Jacky looked over at me for a split second.
"Well, I'm a little stressed." He said. I looked at him, I could tell that he was lying. Jacky never got stressed. Jacky's left hand was off the steering wheel and resting on the console. I lightly touched his hand. He looked at me, with pain-filled eyes.
"Come on, Jack. What is it?" I asked because seeing Jack like that really scared me.
"Nothing," he said, putting on a fake smile. We drove the rest of the way to the airport in silence. Thinking back, I should have done something to make Jack confess what was wrong.. but I thought it was better to just not. When we got to the airport, we had thirty minutes before the plane took off. It was enough to go through security and do everything else I would need to do to leave on time. Everything went well, the lines were good and my bag cleared. When the time came, Jacky looked better, as if nothing had bothered him in the first place. We hugged.
"Hey, man. Have fun," Jacky said to me. His hug still lingering on me.
"Thanks, I will. Take care of Charlie for me, kay? I'll call you when I get there." I said. I grabbed my bags and then boarded the plane. I was in first class and had a window seat. The only seat acceptable. Only because I liked the scenery, and it was easier to sleep up against the window than anywhere else on the plane. After we took off, I was fast asleep and didn't dream of anything, but a mysterious blonde running from me.