Heart of the Swamp

ACT 1

Raynor: I wuvved you, Sarah.

Kerrigan: I hate Mengsk!

Valerian: Kay Sarah. We need to do some test on you. If you cooperate, I'll let you destroy half of this billion dollars facility. No questions ask.

Kerrigan: Do I get to play with the ultralisk?

Valerian: Urm no we don't have that. But we got hundreds of zerglings kept within cages begging to be released. And I'll throw in a hatchery for you so you can make thousands more.

Kerrigan: Yay!

ACT 2

Raynor: Wow you really make a mess back there, Sarah.

Kerrigan: *licking her lips*Wait till you see the mess I could make with Mengsk.

Raynor: Urm okay. Tell you what, why don't we get out of here and go to someplace else where we both could get really messy.

Kerrigan: Cool.

Raynor: Alright. So instead of we both going to my dropship right now, why don't you wait here and I alone go back to my dropship which I parked nearly 30 miles away, wear my dashing black armor suit, come back here and after that I bring you to my dropship. You know, just to make things really interesting once the Dominion gets here.

Kerrigan: *blink**blink*

ACT 3

Raynor: Damn it! Mengsk is here! Quick Sarah, give me a kiss!

Kerrigan: *kiss**kiss*

Raynor: Urm strawberry. Okay, take this gauss rifle that I stole from a dead Ghost. It has a few bullets in it left but should be enough for you to take hundreds of the Dominion marines now bearing down upon us. Got it? Okay lets go.

*blast blast blast kebabooo*

Raynor: Damn! A bridge. Its wide and strong enough for a siege tank to go through but for some reason small people like us had to go over it one by one. Quick! Lets go over it one by one!

Bridge: *poof*

Kerrigan: Jimmy!

Valerian: Hey guys. I had arrived safe and sound on board the Hyperion. Oh! Didn't I tell you we had a shortcut to the dropships? Or maybe I should tell you both to follow me instead of you guys going the long way and have to fight all those Dominion troops. Or maybe I talked too much. This is going to be awkward.

Nova: Hi Jim.

Raynor: Oh hi Nova. Wats up?

Nova: Oh nothing much. Just making an appearance a second or two before I go missing the whole way until the end.

To be continued…

A/n: This was inspired by a post I read on the battlenet forums. I can't remember the title but its freaking hilarious.