Ok… This is my first Twilight Fic, so be nice! I'm writing a Spirited Away fic, which seems to be going good, so I decided to write a Twilight Fic, seeing as the book was amazing. I've been sooo happy since I saw Twilight was added to Fanfiction. So of course, I had to add one of my own fics. I've been craving for more Twilight since I read it, and I can't wait until the next two books come out.
New Moon – Oct. 5, 2006 (WOW! THIS YEAR! WOOT!)
Eclipse – NO DATE YETDisclaimer: I in no way, shape, or form, own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does… all credit goes to her. )
– Chapter 1: Diary Entry –
I want him to change me. Desperately. Sometimes I want it so much that it's painful. Some times I dream he does. I dream we are at the prom again… outside on the bench. But right before he does… I wake up. Every time I do, Edward is there… in my windowsill, watching the stars. And every time… he asks me "What's wrong?" The first time I had the dream, I told him everything. From that night, I decided to tell him that I just couldn't sleep. Because that night… I was truly frightened by Edward.
-Flashback-
I gasped and sat up in my bed. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my racing heart.
"What's wrong?" I heard Edward ask. I glanced over at him. He was leaning against my window gazing at the stars- or at least he was. His eyes were on me now. I gave him a small smile and apologized.
"I just had a bad dream..." I said quietly wiping my forehead with my quilt. Edward sat down next to me and touched my cheek.
"Tell me." I took a deep breath, and thought over both of my choices. The first was to lie to Edward. I didn't like that plan all that much, but it was probably the better one. The other one was to tell the truth. I knew that he was going to be mad. Very mad. But he didn't like it when I kept things from him.
"I-I dreamed… t-that…" I trailed off, avoiding his eyes.
"Please tell me Bella…" he whispered, as if he was hurt that I couldn't trust him… which I'm sure he was. Edward rested his hand under my chin, and made me look into his eyes. They were full of the need to understand…
I gulped. But I couldn't stop myself any longer, for I had already begun.
"I dreamed that you changed me…"
Edward's expression confused me. It shifted from shock and slowly grew to anger.
"Bella..." he said in a low voice, his hand dropping to his lap. I watched him, worried that he was upset. "That won't happen."
I snorted, annoyed that he told me this again. I shifted my view away from him and stared at my desk for a while.
"Bella." Edward said turning me back toward him. "I will not allow you to be like me. It's not right."
I had to protest to that. "But, what about you? I want this so that i can be with you!"
"No!" Edward said, his voice getting quieter but harsher. "I will not allow you to be cursed as a monster for the rest of eternity just to be with me. It's not right."
"I wouldn't be cursed! As long as we're together, I don't care! The three days of pain fail in comparison if I can stay with you for eternity! Forever! I want, no need, to be with you!" I explained, gazing into his eyes, tears falling down my cheeks.
I saw Edward's eyes hardened. "No. I will not confine you to live in the dark, to live as a monster. Not for me. I'm not worth it Bella. I'm doing this for you and your safety. Can't you see that?" He whispered.
I stifled a sob. "No… don't you get it? I want this Edward… I don't care what I'll be labeled as…I-"
Edwards's eyes flashed with anger. "Damnit Bella. I said no." he growled, making me back away from him, eyes wide. I had never seen him like this.
"Edward…" I whispered, for I was to shocked to speak properly. He must have seen the fear in my eyes, because he was sitting farther up on my bed with me in his strong arms seconds later.
"Bella… I'm sorry. I just… I just get so frustrated with myself." His voice was soft now, it surprised me how fast his moods changed. I didn't trust myself to speak, my throat was closed from shock. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my head on his chest, while he followed, tightening his grip around my waist, and rested his cheek on the crook of my neck, allowing me to feel his sweet breath. We stayed like that for awhile… not wanting to move. Finally, I found my voice.
"It's my fault Edward… I'm the one who should be sorry. I've been pushing this on you for almost a month now… I… I just want to be with you… forever."
Edward released me, and held onto my face with both hands, staring into my eyes. His eyes were softer, but still hard… I sighed mentally. He's not going to give in… is he?
"I know Bella… I know." My eyes widened. "But I'm not going to make you suffer like I have…"
-End Flashback-
I guess it did end ok… but I still don't want a repeat. I sighed as I closed my diary. It was a little childish to keep one at this age… but it helped me think and sort out my thoughts. It's been almost 2 months since the Prom… and since that night. Only 1 month until senior year started up. I walked out of the bathroom, after putting the diary back into my bag. The Bathroom is the only place Edward won't follow me. I had asked for my morning human moment, and I had received it.
At the bottom of the stairs, Charlie was no where in sight. I remembered him telling me that he would be at some police convention for a couple days. That means just Edward and me. I smiled at the thought.
Speaking of Edward, I smelt food. His cooking skills had improved drastically. I walked into the kitchen to see him just putting eggs and bacon down on the table.
"Good Morning." He said, giving me the crooked smile that made me melt every time I saw it.
"Good morning Edward. What are we doing today?" I asked, as he pulled out the chair for me to sit. Then he went to sit in front of me, still smiling.
"Well… seeing as your dad left a note saying he's going to be gone for 4 days…" He trailed, watching my reaction. I tilted my head in confusion. Just where is this going?
"I want to spend them with you. Just you and me." He said, smile fading, eyes turning completely serious. I shuddered at the intensity of his stare. I nodded, smiling.
"Of course. What exactly do you have planned?"
"Eat Bella… I'll talk." I realized that I had ignored the food he had made. This almost reminded me of when we were in the restaurant in Seattle… the night when I first found out Edward's true identity. I nodded, eating some of the eggs.
"I went to the meadow last night while you were sleeping. Don't worry, it took only half an hour." He said, as he saw my eyebrow raise a fraction. "I set up a tent… and took up a bunch of camping things." He smiled as realization dawned on me. "Pack your things after your done eating… we're going camping."
There you go everyone! Chapter one! I don't know how long this story is going to be, 2 or 3 chapters at the most. But you'll see why. I might keep going if I get enough reviews telling me to. ) Everything in this chapter is valuable information for the rest of this story, so don't forget it! I'll try to update again sometime in the next couple days. Thanks to my good friend Kaytoko who gave me some help when I got stuck with some parts in this first chapter. Aren't writer's blocks horrible?
Anyway… R&R People! The more reviews I get, the quicker I update! Those of you that have been reading my Spirited Away Fanfic, Finding You, know that that is the truth. Happy Reading!
/Suma Susaki\