"Lena!" Sam's eyes widened in surprise and delight as she opened her apartment door and saw Lena waiting on the other side of it.
"Hey," the Luthor replied with a shy, soft smile. Her head was ducked slightly, as though she was already trying to apologize for "intruding". Sam only gave the woman a pitying smile. Typical Lena. It didn't matter that this get-together had been Sam's idea, of course Lena would find some way, somehow, to blame herself for it, acting as though her presence was an inconvenience instead of an absolute delight. Sam really had missed seeing Lena for the entire past year, and after hearing about (and then seeing firsthand) how hard it had been on the Luthor, Sam had all but forced Lena to visit, begging her at least once a day to come over to Metropolis, continually reminding her that the Arias home would forever be open to her. Now Lena was finally here. Sam grinned broadly and opened her apartment door even wider, gesturing happily for the Luthor to come in.
Lena's shyness fell away as she stepped through the door and, despite herself, she couldn't stop a smile. There was something so homey and welcoming about Sam's apartment and Lena felt better and safer just by stepping inside. For a second, she forgot all of her troubles, and this apartment really had become her own. The gentle lighting, the coziness of the room, the soft hum of various electrical appliances, the warmth of the room. All of it was so natural and comforting, and all of it was just for her. For just one second, Lena felt like she really was coming home. Nothing else mattered now. She turned around to smile at Sam who was smiling back as she shut the door behind them. God, how Lena had missed this!
"Did you want anything to eat or drink?" Sam asked as she walked over to the fridge, pointing to it once she reached it.
"No, I'm fine," the Luthor shook her head politely in response to Sam's offer.
"Ok," Sam shrugged, then she pulled out a larger pitcher of water. "You sure?" and Lena couldn't stop a soft laugh. Sam had always been very hospitable and friendly. Maybe it was the mother inside of her, or maybe it was just in her gentle and caring nature, but Sam had always been the Mom Friend of Lena's circle. Offering food, drink and other amenities and creature comforts had always been her forte.
"Maybe just a small glass," Lena finally allowed, knowing that Sam would not be content unless Lena drank something. Sam gave her a thankful smile before pulling out two glasses from the cupboard nearby.
While Sam poured the drinks, Lena felt another amused smile tug at her lips, though there was a sort of sadness and fear to this smile. What would Sam have thought if she could've seen Lena just a few hours ago? Back then, Lena had still been at work, busy and alone in her office at L-Corp. But while she had been working away at her computer, she'd been drinking heavily. Without even meaning to, glass after glass of amber liquid had burned its way down her throat. Even after the flavor had come sour and even after the burn had become numbed, Lena kept on drinking, just because it felt like the only thing she knew how to do anymore. It was one of her more sinful creature comforts. There was something familiar about the bottle, and Lena never hesitated to reach for it during a crisis. Today was no exception. What would Sam have thought if she had known what Lena had been doing just a few hours ago?
"Thank you," Lena bowed her head politely as she took her water glass from Sam. Sam smiled back at her before leading her over to the couch. Once they sat down, Sam kicked off her shoes and reclined into the cushions with a sigh. For a moment, then, the two old friends only sat together in silence. Neither of them made any move to start a conversation, and Lena was thankful for it. Although she had come here to talk to Sam, she had also come here to escape, escape her life back home, in National City. To be free to just sit here with Sam in silence was a blessing all of its own. She felt no pressure to speak and that was a relief to her. She'd had to do enough explaining already. It was nice to finally feel safe enough to just be silent. And Sam seemed in no hurry either, sipping on her drink with her eyes half shut as she continued to recline on the couch. Perhaps it was because Lena was with her again, but all of the fretfulness Lena had gotten from Sam over the phone about visiting was gone and all that remained was a very serene and peaceful woman. Lena both envied and admired this.
The silence carried on for a few minutes more, Lena slowly unwinding the longer and longer she remained in Sam's presence. The relaxed vibe that Sam was giving off slowly but surely infected Lena until she, too, found herself leaning comfortably back in her seat, muscles relaxing one by one. The silence was so peaceful and calming, not at all like the silence back at L-Corp, which had been tense and lonely and unnerving, echoing with words that had never been said, and the words that should've been said. Back there at L-Corp, the silence had been anticipatory, full of all the things that had been said, and things that had yet to be said. It had been a very full silence, and this was not a good thing. But the silence here, in Samantha Arias' cozy little apartment, was the good kind. It was natural, easy and relaxed. There was nothing at all awkward or forced or anticipatory about it. It was silence for the sake of silence, not silence awaiting noise. Here, silence was the destination, not the route, and it was like a paradise to Lena and the longer she basked in it, the calmer and calmer she began to feel. Then, she finally felt ready to speak.
Lena set her glass down on the small table in front of the couch. It was a small movement, but Sam could read body language very well. She knew what it meant and she decided to be the one to open the conversation, now that Lena felt ready for it.
"How was your drive over?" she asked as Lena lowered herself back onto the couch.
"It was good," Lena replied, nodding her head a little. Although the traffic had been a bit messy, especially while driving out of National City and then back into Metropolis, the simple act of knowing that she was leaving all of her messy and tangled past behind and going off to visit a friend for a while had made the drive incredibly easy and relaxing. It was relieving to know that with every mile she drove, she was going farther and farther away from her problems and closer and closer to what was tantamount to a mini vacation, an escape from all of her troubles and worries.
"That's good to know," Sam smiled as Lena continued to mentally rerun her path from National City to Metropolis. "Traffic wasn't too bad?"
"Not at all," Lena promised, now shaking her head.
"Good, good."
The silence lasted a little bit longer before Sam finally dove into the heart of the matter of why Lena was visiting.
"Have you confronted Kara about her secret yet?" she asked and, all at once, the homey and serene atmosphere of the apartment crackled with electricity and energy as nerves and walls slowly went up around Lena.
"No," she admitted, but there was an edge to her voice, as if daring Sam to press her further on the matter. Sam did.
"Have you seen her at all since-?" she began slowly, gently.
"A few times," Lena interrupted, voice soft but short.
"Well, so long as neither of you are in any rush," Sam tilted her head. She was completely unbothered by how Lena was reacting to these questions. She had expected it, of course, knowing what a painful topic it was for the Luthor.
But Lena stopped giving reactions there, unsure of what else to say on the matter and still not feeling quite ready to talk about it, even with Sam. Although Sam really had been a blessing, compassionate, understanding, supportive, helpful, encouraging and nonjudgmental, Lena still didn't like talking about Kara with anyone. And besides, Lena felt embarrassed to have to admit to Sam that despite their earlier chats, she still had made zero progress in confronting Kara over the matter. She had not actively sought Kara out, she had not let the Kryptonian know that anything was out of the ordinary, she made no move to ask, she never prompted Kara to try and start the discussion herself. Lena had just kept on living in silent pain, still responding positively whenever Kara was around, but only as a façade. In the few times Kara had visited Lena, Lena had put on a smile, but internally, she had been screaming and crying, but never once did a single complaint slip out of her mouth or expression.
Lena didn't want to have to admit that to Sam, that she still had no idea how to press this issue. She didn't want to have to admit to Sam that she still hadn't even begun to think of a way to broach the topic. She didn't want to have to admit to Sam that a small part of her was still so angry that part of the reason she was keeping her silence was in order to continue to revel in her bitterness. She didn't want to have to admit to Sam that her continued silence was born of fear, anger, worry and bitterness. It was not denial, because Lena was no longer capable of that. But it was still a similar sort of silence, with Lena refusing to acknowledge the situation, at least verbally.
Now she was keeping her own secrets from Kara, and about the very same thing Kara used to keep secret from her: Supergirl's identity. A small part of Lena wanted to keep it that way and to hurt Kara just as deeply as Kara had hurt her. Even though she knew such a decision was petty and immature and likely to cause more problems than it solved, the Luthor just couldn't bring herself to take the high road any longer, and she was more than willing to keep this secret from Kara just as long as Kara had kept her secret from Lena. Two could play at that game and Lena certainly would not go down without getting at least a little bit of revenge for what Kara had and hadn't said to her.
But how could she admit this to Sam? Admit that part of the reason she had yet to talk to Kara was out of her own desire to hurt Kara right back? It wasn't something Lena was very proud of. But then again, so was Kara.
"Don't worry, you'll get there eventually, just give it time," Sam finally advised as Lena continued to glare down at her lap. "You don't need to move fast, I just didn't think you'd want to be stuck in such an awkward limbo for that long."
"My entire life has been an awkward limbo," Lena scoffed back at Sam. "I can wait a few more years.
"Years?" Sam echoed with a dismayed face. "Lena!" but when she saw Lena slowly starting to turn her head away, Sam quickly composed herself. As much as she wanted to shake some sense into Lena, she knew it would be of no use. Force never solved anything. At least in cases like this. What Lena really needed was someone who was on her side (so to speak, though Sam liked to consider herself impartial on this matter). Accusing Lena would do no one any good, even though it felt like the most natural thing to do. So Sam quickly quieted herself, pulling herself back in.
"If you think that will work, then no judgment, I promise," Sam said, even raising her right hand as she spoke. It was enough to get Lena to look at her again, though there was an incredulous and guarded light in her eyes now. But Sam remained stalwart in her oath.
"I'm not going to tell you what to do," she promised. "I'll give advice and suggest what I would do, but only you can decide what happens from here on out. If you want to do this, to keep a secret from Kara, I won't stop you. It isn't totally unfair for you to want to do this. I'm just saying that it's going to be awkward and painful for you to try and hold out for that long."
"Like I said before, Sam, my entire life has been an awkward limbo," Lena repeated, voice low and hollow. "I can wait a few years. Besides, after all that Kara has done, what is a few years? If she was able to lie to me for that long, with no regrets, then so can I!" the Luthor muttered fiercely.
"How long was it?" Sam asked gently.
"Three years," Lena replied coldly. "We met one year before you came into the picture, and then she lied the entire year you were here, and then she lied all throughout this past year while you were gone."
"Wow," Sam muttered. "Didn't realize Kara, of all people, had that in her."
"Nor did I," a bitter smile stretched across Lena's face.
"And you think you can keep up your own lie for that long?" Sam coaxed, doing her best to keep the warning tone out of her voice.
"I'm a Luthor," Lena replied, and Sam was sad to realize how satisfactory and complete of an answer that was. Maybe it didn't seem like anything other than an unrelated statement, but there was so much history and meaning loaded up into that simple phrase that Sam knew that Lena was right. Even if Lena was the Token Good Luthor, she still had some very Luthor traits, and she, of all people, would be able to lie and manipulate and deceive if necessary, especially if no one suspected her.
Sam felt her heart break a little at the idea, not wanting to see her best friend become warped with a thirst for vengeance. It was exactly what destroyed Lex after all. And it hurt Sam even more because she used to be part of this friend circle. She knew everyone Lena was talking about. It didn't just hurt her to realize that they had lied to her just as unrepentantly as they had lied to Lena, but it hurt her to think that something like a civil war between the group may begin in the future. Sam didn't want to watch her circle of friends tear itself apart from the inside out. She didn't want her friends to fight. She didn't want the people she loved getting hurt, and by each other no less, but that seemed to be the path they were all on at the moment. Kara's secret was just too big to not have any negative repercussions.
But even so, Sam still knew it was not her place to call Lena out or try and correct her behavior (not yet at least, but if Lena did ever try to go full-on Lex, then Sam might start taking a bit more control over the situation). All she was supposed to do right now was help talk Lena through her feelings and keep an eye on her. She wasn't supposed to act as Lena's keeper just yet. But she really hated to see such a beautiful friendship shatter so completely, and she hated it even more to see what it was doing to Lena.
Sam knew Lena would never follow her brother's path and Sam knew that Lena would never become as heartless, careless, selfish and violent as he had, but a vengeance-seeking, hollow shell was not quite as out of the question. Lena held grudges, she was wary and distrustful. Those who betrayed her, never gained her forgiveness. To combine a woman like that with a tragedy like this could easily bring out the Luthor in her, and even though Sam knew that Lena would never go on a personal vendetta as terrible as the one Lex had gone on against Superman, it wasn't out of the question to expect Lena to try at least a little bit of revenge against Kara. That was what worried Sam most of all. Lena would not become Lex, but Lex had already set the villainy bar so high that that wasn't saying too much. Lena didn't have to become as evil as Lex in order to be a threat, both to herself and anyone who knew her. That was what Sam was worried about. Lena. She was worried about Lena.
"So, what will you do next?" Sam asked after a few more minutes of silence.
"I don't know," Lena replied airily, but she was being serious. She genuinely had no idea what her next steps would be, nor even what she wanted them to be. Even if she did manage to keep her own secrets for the next three years just the way Kara had, how would that go? What would she say and do for the next three years? Would she even be able to pretend to still care about and fully trust Kara for another three years? Or would she blow up before then? And even if she did manage to survive all three years of deceit, that still left her back at square one: how would she confront Kara about this issue? Or would she choose silence instead? There really was no easy answer to this question and not for the first time did Lena bitterly curse Kara for not telling her years ago. It would've made things so much quicker and easier.
Lena could get behind secrets, and she could get behind this secret, but its duration of three years after all she had done to prove herself as a good and worthy person were unacceptable. The way Lena saw it, she should've been kept in the dark for a maximum of two years, not three! And given the fact that Kara still technically hadn't told Lena, this meant the duration of the secret hypothetically extended way beyond three years. That was the unacceptable part. And Lena knew it was only going to get worse with each passing day, like a snowball rolling down a hill, but Lena almost wanted it to. She almost wanted to drag it out just so she could revel in her bitterness even more, even though she now had the power to end it all. She could call Kara out that very day and just be done with it, but it was like looking at a car crash, Lena just couldn't stop, and a small part of her wanted to see just how much longer this masquerade could hold up. That way, she would be even more justified when she finally did snap.
Sam could see Lena's face shifting subtly as these sadistic and vengeful thoughts continued to swirl around in her mind. Although they wanted to make Sam sigh and shake her head, she knew that Lena still needed to get all of her blinding anger out of her system before that good anger would come into play. Until that day came, these thoughts would just have to keep on going, and all Sam could do was help the poor, lonely Luthor wait them out.
Sam took another sip of her water and masked a sigh. It really was a complicated problem and no clear answer for either side presented itself. Sam could see why Lena was so frustrated, but she could also imagine how unhappy Kara must've been. No one who kept a secret for three years was truly happy or secure in their identity. There must've been another reason Kara had kept her silence for so long! But that was the problem: since both sides were right and wrong at the same time, what feasible answer and common place could come out of this? There didn't seem to be an escape for anyone. Everyone was going to suffer from the fallout, not just Lena and Kara. But any potential solution was just as much a mystery to Sam as it was to anyone else, including Lena and Kara themselves.
AN: Just as promised, here's a "sequel" to my previous ReignCorp post-reveal fic. Sorry it took so long to get out! And I have it written in quotes because it doesn't necessarily have to be "canon" since this fic implies that Lena still hasn't talked to Kara, even though you could feasibly interpret it that Lena DOES talk to Kara at the end of my previous fic (the cliffhanger phone call).
For anyone who was hoping for this sequel to be a "Lena talks to Kara", the reason I don't plan on ever writing that story out is because I literally don't know how to write it. I don't know how the two will react and I don't know what they'll say or do and I don't even know who would start the conversation. Consider all the speculation in this chapter to be as close as we're getting to my interpretation of what Lena will do next, because I really have no clue. Sorry to disappoint.
But I hope the ReignCorp fluff was good! The next chapter will have even more if that's what you're looking for. (Plus, of course, more speculation on how Lena will confront Kara).