When It Rains

It was raining I knew it was, the soft pitter-patter on my roof told me it was. I wasn't sure why but when it rained, I couldn't get to sleep, it didn't matter where I was, it was all the same. Somehow it made me feel as lonely as ever, I felt empty and it made me want him by my side, want his warmth.

I couldn't help but climb out of my bed, it was a habit, I always did it, always. I walked to my closet trying my hardest to ignore the sounds of the rain. Whenever I actually heard it, I mean really listened to it, I got sad. I didn't know why I got this way, I blamed Siren and my other GFs for forgetting, but I'm pretty sure I forced the memory out of myself.

I never let anyone know how badly I was hurting, I always managed to remind myself, I'm Selphie happy, bouncy, Selphie, heart of the garden I can't do that. The only one who knew how I got was him, and that's why he was never angry when I came to him. I knew the others would ask why the hell I was at their door in the middle of the night, but he already knew why.

I was walking down the hall, my feet making flopping sounds as I went. I didn't care that I was being loud, it covered the sound of the rain, that's really all that mattered. It was dark, and the dim lights from the edge of the floor barely lit up the hall. I was angry with myself, why, because I hadn't even tried this time, all I did was blow over the sound and run to him for comfort, it was pathetic.

The light in his window was still on, I knew it would be. It was only a little past twelve, I knew that if I had waited any longer he'd have come to me, but I didn't mind the walk, and I liked his room better anyway.

I'd gotten to his door, and I'd raised my hand to knock, it was just like every other time, but for some reason, it felt different. I understood the change. For the first time in ten years I ran into the rain. I spun in a circle and collapsed onto a bench. I had hated the rain for as long as I could remember, but ever since that day when Irvine came to me, the day he cuddled with me and comforted me….. I realize now that I had waited for the rain to come just so that I could hold him in my arms. That's why I didn't try to fight the rain anymore.

His window blinds were pulled back, shining light on the sidewalk beside me. He loved the rain, always has, even after finding me in the middle of the night, crying because of it. The cowboy refused to tell anyone what I was doing, he always said that we were just in the same place at the right time.

I knew he saw me then, I heard a door slam and I heard rushed steps coming toward me. I brushed my sopping hair from my eyes and stood to meet his embrace. We were both soaked by the rain but it didn't matter.

"The rain…." I started and he held me out at arms length. His hair was slicked down sticking to his face. I smiled, he looked so happy I couldn't help it. He showed the question in his eyes. "I've grown to love you. Love the way you hold me while it rains, the way we hold each other. I can't help but love the rain."

He laughed and pulled me back to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and for the first time, I kissed him. Our lips touched and my eyes fluttered shut. I was in a state of bliss, so happy I forgot the rain. We just stood there in each others arms, not caring who saw us now. We were happy, and I was no longer scared of the rain, I embraced it.

Originally written February 21, 2006