Rick squirms, trying to get out from under the 800 pound motorcycle. He pushes the bike up enough to wriggle out from between it and the ground. He gets up, starting to run after Shane, and feels a crippling pain in his leg.
"RAAAAAH!"
He can't walk, let alone run. He trips on a discarded tire and crumples to the asphalt, pulling the injured leg in front of him. He can tell something's broken, and sees his shin bone poking up against his skin. He wants to gag, it doesn't look pretty at all, but he tries to get up again and can't.
Shane halts in his tracks when he hears the pained scream from behind him. He turns around to see Rick leaning against a car on the ground, examining his leg.
'What the hell's wrong with him?'
He starts to walk towards to injured man, feet moving without him knowing why. Well, he did know why, but he wondered why he was bothering to help him. He could just leave him out here as walker bait if he wanted to, like he'd implied he wanted to, but he really doesn't. He wants Rick to be okay, a program in his mind's eye that he couldn't remove if he wanted to.
'No I don't. He's better off dead.'
He tries to lie to himself, tell himself that he loves Lori when he doesn't, reality being the complete opposite. Lori is nothing but a person in his mind, a woman that happened to marry Rick and happened to birth Carl. She is not the person he loves, and can never be the person he loves, because the person he loves is nothing like her. That person would wait months, possibly years if she died to sleep with someone else. That person always watches his son, makes sure he's safe, instead of making someone else bear his burden of being a father like Lori does. That person is strong. Bluntly, that person can whoop a walker's ass, and has before. Lori will never be the person he loves.
Because the person, man, he loves is crumpled into a ball on the asphalt, leg broken horrendously because of him.
'I'm so sorry, Rick. I didn't mean to.'
A pitiful excuse for causing an injury that could kill him. Not the injury itself, but the fact that he can't run if a swarm of walkers approaches, or if he's taken by surprise. The blood trickling from the open wound is enough to lure in hundreds of walkers, and all Shane can do is slap a splint on the leg and hope to God Rick won't need that leg any time soon.
'I didn't want to hurt him.'
'You headbutted him, threw a giant ass wrench at him, and you didn't want to hurt him?'
He'd went too far, is what it really came to. He'd went too far to prove a lie, a lie that had cost him Rick's friendship and love. He hated himself for it, going so far as to almost kill the one man he admits he loves like any other woman. What he never understood is why it was only him. He wasn't attracted to men in general, but when it came to Rick, he fawned over the man like a lovestruck schoolgirl. Not that he knew that, but if he did, Shane liked to think he wouldn't wear that golden ring. He knew he always would, though. Lori makes him happy, is the person Rick honestly loves with all his heart. Shane could never be that, and he knows that. He could never kiss his tears away, stitch up the open wounds in his heart like Lori does. He does in his own way, a way reserved for brothers, sisters and close friends, but he didn't want to be that. He wanted to be Rick's boyfriend, maybe husband. Or wife. He didn't exactly know how that worked.
So the least he could do is help.
Shane crouched beside the injured Grimes, straightening out the hurt leg and seeing blood trickling from the break, bone poking out of the flesh.
"I would ask if you're alright, but as I can see, you obviously aren't." Rick glared at him furiously.
"Fuck off, Shane. I can handle this myself."
Shane shook his head. Rick was always stubborn, never admitting he needed help, even if he really did.
"If you could, you'd be chasing after me an' whuppin' my ass right about now." He smiled gently, hoping to help cheer Rick up some. It worked, because Rick's face softened and he chuckled.
"Hurts like fuck."
"Lemme help."
Rick hesitated for a few moments, then sighed deeply.
"Fine."
Shane picked up the injured man, setting him down in a nearby truck bed and scanning the perimeter for something to make a splint with. The most he could find was one 1x6 plank. He broke it, the shorter part just barely long enough to fit Rick's inseam. Setting the two pieces beside Rick, he walked back to the car to get the first aid kit in the glove compartment. He retrieved it and walked back to the truck bed, sitting beside the Grimes.
"Bite something, 'cause this is gonna hurt."
"How much?"
"Remember how much I screamed the first time I broke my nose?"
"Oh, shit."
"Get ready." Shane said, picking up Rick's hurt leg. Rick shoved his fist in his mouth. In one swift motion, Shane straightened out the broken bone, glad it broke cleanly because he would have a whole lot of bone bits embedded in his leg. Rick's fist muffled the bloodcurdling scream emitting from his mouth, and Shane found himself wishing Rick was screaming in a whole other context. Shane set the leg down gently. Rick removed his fist from his mouth, panting.
"Feel better?"
"You're a twisted fuck, y'know that? You break the damn thing, then you help fix it. What type 'a shit is that?" Rick said, sitting up to examine the leg again, which didn't have the bone poking out anymore. Shane sighed.
"I didn't mean to break it." Shane apologized. He could tell Rick wanted to say something else.
"Jus' say it."
"Bet'chu meant to break my fuckin' head when you threw that wrench at me." He retorted, obviously pissed. Shane bowed his head.
"I didn't know what I was doing, man. You know me. I'd never do somethin' like that." He said solemnly. Rick canted his head to catch Shane's gaze, Shane looking up at him.
"Then who the fuck are you? Huh?"
Shane could almost hear his heart tear itself from his body, shattering in front of his eyes.
Shane put a hand on Rick's chest, pushing gently.
"Lay back down." He grunted, trying to hide the sadness in his voice, but failing because Rick's expression softened.
"Shane... I-" He began, but was interrupted by the other man.
"Don't even. Jus' shut up an' lay down."
Rick quietly obeyed, and Shane pretended not to notice the rejected look on the man's face. Rick threw an arm over his eyes, sighing. He lurched up only to be pinned back down to the truck bed when he felt a severe burning in the tear in his leg.
"What the fuck!?"
"Alcohol. Can you fuckin' relax?" Shane said, seemingly frustrated. He adjusted himself so a leg was pinning Rick's torso down, while the other was under Rick's knee, supporting the leg.
"Sorry."
"Mn."
They sat quietly, Shane disinfecting the wound. Rick could feel Shane starting to tense, as he always did when he started to get bored. He always wondered why Shane always had to be moving around. He started to hear Shane's voice, first humming a tune, then quietly singing.
"One for love, one for truth, one for me, one for you..."
Rick loved to hear Shane sing. He always thought his voice was amazing. Better than his own by a long shot, he thought.
"Where we once were divided, now we stand united, we stand, as one, uuuuuundivi-" Shane cut himself off when he realized Rick was listening. For some reason, he was never comfortable with singing in front of him. His own weird case of crippling stage fright. Shane blushed and quieted.
"Why do you do that?" Rick asked after a long moment.
"Huh?"
"Stop singing. I don't mind. It's nice."
Shane blushed again, but just shrugged.
"Dunno. Stage fright, I guess." Rick laughed.
"Coming from the guy who ran naked in the street screaming 'rape' after you lost that bet."
"Hey, that is not funny! Three people called 911 on me!" Rick laughed harder at the memory, remembering how red Shane's whole body got when he did it. The worst part was, he wasn't even allowed to cover his junk with his hands, so the whole neighborhood, including Rick, got an eyeful.
"'M serious! I almost got arrested for indecent exposure 'cause of you!" Even Shane couldn't resist chuckling at the thought. Rick laughed until his stomach hurt.
"That was still hilarious."
"Jackass."
Shane rolled up Rick's pant leg up for more access, smearing some Neosporin on a folded piece of gauze and placing it over the small tear, wrapping Rick's shin in gauze securely.
"Aren't you gonna stitch that up?"
"If you wan' me ta' kill you, then sure." Rick chuckled.
"Never mind."
Shane grabbed the smaller piece of broken wood, flipping it so the smooth part was against Rick's crotch, considering he thought of that area as a valuable asset and he didn't want it to get splinters. He placed the other piece of wood along the outside of Rick's leg. He scanned the area to look for something to tie the makeshift splint together. He looked down at his own shirt when he found nothing else.
"Dammit..." He muttered, pulling his shirt off of him and grabbing the small pair of scissors in the first aid kit.
"What the hell're you doin'?" Rick asked, hiding the almost frantic tone in his voice. His self-control was always drastically reduced when Shane was shirtless, but more so when he was only in his boxers.
"What I need ta' do." He cut the sleeves off first, tying one close to Rick's ankle and the other close to Rick's crotch. He pretended to ignore the fact that his hands brushed against him multiple times, wondering if if was on purpose. He cut the rest of his shirt into strips, tying the splint together securely. Once he was done, Rick sat up.
"How'm I gon' get to the car?"
Shane sighed and slid off of the pick-up, gesturing for Rick to follow. He obeyed, scooting to the edge of the truck bed, and squeaking when Shane picked him up bridal-style. He carried the injured man to the Hyundai, Rick opening the door for himself and he wiggled until Shane set him down in the passenger seat, since he couldn't drive in this state. Shane walked around to the driver's side and opened the door, sitting down and the key hovering by the ignition when he froze. Rick looked at him curiously until he remembered the prisoner in the back.
Shane's hand tightened around the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. He shouldn't be alive. If he was dead, Rick's leg wouldn't be broken, and Shane wouldn't have a busted lip and a bruised eye, and-
Shane put his thoughts on hold when he heard a gun being cocked. His Glock, to be precise. The safety clicked off and Rick held out the black pistol by the barrel, looking Shane flush in the face with an accepting expression. Shane took the gun and hopped out of the car, pulling Randall out by the neck. The trunk slammed shut and Rick winced when he heard the echoing gunshot. Shane reentered the car and shoved the key in the ignition, driving away from Randall's dead body and the wrench that could've killed Rick.
The man he honest-to-God loves with all his heart.
Rick stared out the window, watching the trees whiz by at speed. His brows furrowed when they passed the open field, watching a walked stumble along, ratty tux in tow. His face softened when he saw another walker stumble closer to the tuxed walker, until they walked side by side across the field. Rick stole a glance at the man beside him, who had his chin resting on the steering wheel, gaze focused on the open road ahead. Rick let a gentle smile place itself on his face when he thought of the irony of the situation. He fell asleep thinking about Shane, thinking about how much he honestly loves him, despite the ring on his finger.
6 WEEKS LATER
Shane knocked lightly on the door frame to the sick room. Rick sat up a little, smiling when he realized it was Shane. He gestured for Shane to come in, reaching for his shirt hanging off of the backrest of the chair. Shane walked in and grabbed the shirt for him, handing it to the other. He sat down on the other side of the bed and laid down beside Rick.
"How're you feelin'?"
"'Nother week like this, I'mma go stir-crazy." Rick said as he pulled the shirt on.
Shane chuckled.
"Herschel said another couple'a days 'fore you can walk around without the crutches, but you still shouldn't run 'r nothin like that."
Rick scoffed.
"Hell, long as I can get up an' do shit again."
Shane nodded and turned towards Rick.
"It's a miracle they even found those crutches, so count your blessings."
"True."
A moment of silence.
"Sorry again."
"Jesus, Shane, you don't have to keep sayin' sorry. S'fine, I told you."
"Hey, I know you aren't talkin'. Every time I broke my nose, sorry was the only thing you said for the next few weeks."
Rick huffed a laugh. His arm slipped under Shane's neck and he pulled himself closer to his friend. He ran his fingers through Shane's growing hair, surprised at how long it was already.
"Ch-ch-ch-ch-chia!" Shane chirped. They both laughed. It dissolved into a comfortable silence.
"Y'know, it's weird how all it took was me to break my leg, an' now s'just like before I got shot."
Shane's head sunk back into the pillow.
"Well, I kinda owe you."
Rick frowned.
"No, you don't. Ain't like you left me there."
Shane stayed silent, but turned towards Rick.
"So you're just doin' this 'cause you think you owe me?"
Shane shook his head.
"No, but still, it's kinda my fault."
Rick sighed, sinking into the mattress.
"Doesn't matter now. I forgive you."
Shane relaxed, staying silent.
"Hey, I'm real sorry."
Rick sighed and face palmed himself.
"Stop apologizing. It's fine, I swear."
"I don't mean your leg."
Rick turned towards Shane, now curious.
"I mean, when you were in the hospital, an' I left you... I mean, I thought you were dead an'... if I knew... I wouldn't have... none of this shit would've happened... I mean with Lori, and all this crazy sh-" Shane was cut off by Rick's hand covering his mouth. He pouted behind the hand.
"What you're saying is, if you knew I was alive, you wouldn't have left me there."
Shane nodded.
"And that you wouldn't have slept with Lori."
Shane nodded.
"And that you wouldn't have gone buckwild on me these past few months."
Shane nodded vigorously. Rick uncovered Shane's mouth and flipped him so Shane was on his side, half-hugging Rick.
"S'all in the past now. Jus' don't worry about it. It's fine." The hand now resting on Shane's waist squeezed gently, and Shane relaxed against Rick's body.
"Thanks." Shane hugged Rick close and Rick did the same.
Lori came into the room a few hours later to see both men asleep tangled together. Something that didn't surprise her in the least.
It did surprise her however, to see their fingers laced together, resting overtop of the scar left by the gunner's bullet.