I don't own Homestuck, it's characters, and anything that look familiar is purely coincidental.

Warning: Before reading thins or any of my works, you should know that I am terrible at updating because I rarely get inspired enough to write and I delete a lot of my stories if they don't get enough positive feedback. That means that if you don't like it go ahead and tell me but if enough people like it then I WILL continue.

That is all for now, enjoy the story.

Jade: Wake Up

The unmistakable red tinged light filtering through your eyelids is what signals you to wake up. You open your eyes before quickly closing them so you won't be blinded by the harsh rays peeking through your window. You squint one eye open and check the cheap alarm clock sitting on the hotel nightstand. Its noon and you were supposed to meet your friends for you cousin's birthday… 3 hours ago.

"Shit" I groan, sitting up in the large bed before clutching my throbbing head. They're all gonna kill me and I can't really remember anything that happened last night... except maybe something about horns? I shake my head, which doesn't help, my hung over mind doesn't want to deal with trying to remember all the details of when went on the night before.

I glance over to the night stand and spot my phone next to the alarm clock. It seems like way to much effort to reach for it but I do anyways. Scrolling through it I have 37 new messages from Rose, damn. Most of them say stuff like "Where are you?" Or "Don't be stupid, you can't possibly go through with this." Seeing a repetitive pattern I just delete the rest.

I yawn letting my foggy brain convince me to go back to sleep. Lying down, I try to pull the (really comfortable at the moment) blanket up to my chin only to have it be pinned down by some other weight. I attempted to unpin it several more times before I look to my other side and see familiar platinum blond hair peeking out from under the covers.

"Fuck." I groan again. This is not what I had planned on happening during this vacation. I surrender the battle with the blanket hogger and climb out of the bed silently.

Dave: Be Rudely Awakened

"Honk Honk…" says an unknown voice in the background. Everything is a flurry of random colors and sounds and the overall blurry appearance of the situation is making me dizzy. I'm here for a reason though, and that reason is enough to keep me standing here forever, even if someone tried to dump eleven tons of smuppet ass and plushy dongs on me. I would still stay for…

I scrunch my nose at the sounds and images echoing through my brain, like some forgotten memory trying to resurface. The scene is playing out in front of me like some shitty recording, blurry and jerky. The image is just coming into focus when a hard blow from an otherwise soft object drags me back into consciousness. I opened my eyes to see a certain, very angry, dark haired woman standing over me armed with a pillow.

"Damn Jade, I know I'm the most glorious sex god sent straight from heaven, but even Striders need their beauty sleep." I reach my right hand up to adjust my shades and try to keep my cool, only to not have them perched on their usual spot on my face. Fuck fuck oh shit, I must have lost them some time last night. I regain my poker face but simultaneously try to shield my eyes from her. It's not like it's a secret anymore I'm just still kind of self-conscious about my freakish eyes.

"Look Harley, as much as I love your abusive visits to my room, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave so I can get rid of this fucking hangover." Ugh, I can't even think about some ironic metaphors when it feels like Hephaestus is pounding on my skull. Huh, I actually hadn't even noticed the hangover until now, but it was still pretty fucking bad. I try to pull the comforter over my head to muffle out the rest of the world and allow me to succumb back to glorious, glorious sleep; only to have it yanked back by the raving mad best friend.

"This is my room fuckass!" She barks, yes barks. It's making my head split even more; I literally am surprised that my skull isn't open and my brains all over the room. Wow, she said fuckass, she must be really mad; usually she saves that one for special occasions. Of course I guess waking up hung over out of your mind with one of your best friends in your bed would count as a special occasion. Even if it's not the first time it's happened…

I dramatically roll off the bed and land with a thump on the ground. On second thought that really isn't the best idea with a killer migraine. Pushing myself up seems likes too much work right now but I do it anyways. I stand up a little wobbly at first before steadying myself against the headboard-wall thing, I'm really not that much taller than her, maybe by 6 inches? John was always the tallest, who of course pissed me off but at least I held second place in the height ranks.

I stretch high up over my head and cracked my neck to get all the kinks out, before finally realizing that Jade is wearing my shirt... and seemingly nothing else. It's way too big on her and fits almost like a dress, a really short dress. I can feel the heat rushing to my face so I bite my tongue and look to the side slightly to avoid turning as red as Karkat during one of his rom-com rants. I don't know why I always get so flustered like a stupid teenager around her. Maybe it's because she knows me better than anyone but she can always bring out that dorky kid that loves birds and can't swim… not that I'd ever admit that to anyone except my own subconscious.

"Hey, as great as my shirt looks in you, I still think I rock it better" I try smirking but know that I probably look like a strawberry douchebag. I feel like shit anyways so a bitch slap or two won't make much of a difference at this point. She starts walking towards me; oh shit I am solemnly vowing on the holy biblr of irony to never drink during vacation again. She's right in front of me right now so I prepare to block any attack she throws at me.

She just lets out an exasperated sigh and removes the shirt before throwing it at me angrily. Im not gonna lie, I am both slightly relieved and disappointed to see that she has been wearing a tank top and shorts underneath. I pull my reclaimed shirt over my head and decide to set out on the mission of finding my shades, seeing that she is already pissed out of her mind and my presence is just making it worse.

On my way out I can't help but spare one more glance at her. She's running a hand through her long hair and I notice something shimmer on her left hand. Unconsciously I comment "Nice rock." to lighten the mood before walking out the door finally. Damn that girl has got a set of lungs.

Jade: Proceed to Flip the Fuck Out

NONONONONONONONO

That is NOT what you think it is. You flip you hand over and thoroughly inspect the object currently worn on your left ring finger. You prod your finger, twist it around, look at it in the light, oh fuck, it is what you think it is. It's a diamond ring.

You, Jade Harley, have gotten married.