So, I got this idea really randomly from one of those survey things that people do for their profiles. It's the ToS one. If you know what I mean. I don't really know what to call it. This particular survey that I read was on Hidarikiki no Sakka's page, and it was question…thirty? Thirty-one? Eh, one of the two. I think.

Yeah. Read on, if you want.


"Hey, you know I love you, right?"

"Rawrgh…"

"Yeah, I know." Colette sighed and adjusted her position in the bed that they shared. The two had been going out for about a year now, but now, things were changing. She felt as if they weren't connecting in the same way as before. "Good night."

"Rawar," the zombie said and turned on his side. The movement caused his arm to fall off yet again, and Colette lovingly picked up his arm and replaced it, smiling softly. The zombie grumbled a gravely "Rawrarghf" before shutting his sunk-in eyes and falling into a sleep akin to death.

What was wrong? Had she done anything wrong? Why did she feel as if she wasn't the most important thing in his life anymore? They'd started out so wonderfully. He used to bring home presents for her every night. She remembered the nights when he would come home from terrorizing villagers with decayed bear meat, Gald from now-dead travelers, and assorted varieties of bugs. They used to be so happy, and now…things were different. She briefly wondered if there was something going on with his job. Maybe his assistant was coming on to him?

She didn't know, so all Colette could do was keep guessing about the gap that had formed in their intimacy and love. Sighing again, she turned over on the bed, closed her eyes, and fell asleep, preparing for dreams of betrayal and despair.


The next morning was the biggest shock of all. When Colette woke up, she knew something was wrong when she saw Raine—her own teacher—at the front door of their house. The zombie was talking with her, and she could hear the tone that he used to use with her when they had first started dating. Was that it? But…why? Why would he do this?

But she couldn't be so hasty. It was vital to the situation to find out for sure.

She stood up and tentatively walked to the front of the house. "Hi, Raine…" she started.

The zombie's eyes grew wide and he stumbled for words. "C-Corwsafargh!" he stuttered, surprised.

"Hi, sweetie. Why are you talking with Raine?" Colette could see the guilt in his black, rotting eyes, and her own eyes began pooling with tears. How could he? How could he do this to her?

"W-we can explain…" Raine tried, but she was cut off by a rather angry tone of voice that shocked everyone present into silence.

"No!" Colette shouted. "I get it! You don't love me anymore, do you? You want to be with this…scientist, don't you? Well, fine! Go ahead! I don't care anymore!" The tears streamed down her cheeks. No one could react to this sobbing girl. She'd obviously been so in love with him, and he'd broken her heart. Nothing could replace that. "I'll pack my stuff…" she continued in between sobs. "I'll leave so you two…can be happy…"

She left the room and began packing her bags. At least she knew that she had other friends. She could count on them, and they'd help her through this.


"Hi, Presea…" Colette said sullenly as she stood outside the door to the young girl's house.

"I heard…" Presea said, equally sad. "I'm sorry. You're free to stay here as long as you'd like."

"Thank you." She placed her bags in the bedroom and then sat down at the table in the main room. She didn't speak first, so Presea took it upon herself to make the small talk.

"So, how's your job been?" she asked, attempting to sway the blonde's thoughts away from the zombie.

"It's been okay. Customers haven't been coming quite as often, but it's still as steady flow, so we don't have to worry." Colette played with the drink that had been placed in front of her. She said no more.

"Are you still growing your hair out?" Presea asked upon realizing that Colette wouldn't keep the conversation alive.

Colette shrugged. "Yeah…hey, Presea?" she asked, changing the subject. She looked into the big grey orbs of Presea longingly, and Presea wondered briefly if she was thinking about the zombie, who had similar eyes.

"Y-yes?"

"I'm…pretty, right?" Colette pleaded her with her eyes, begging her to agree.

"Of course. Why—?"

"And I'm smart? At least, book-smart?" The beseeching continued.

"Yes, you know many things."

"So…why doesn't anyone love me?" Colette lowered her gaze and stared sadly into her drink, allowing a single tear to fall into the mug.

"Everyone loves you, Colette," Presea soothed. "You're one of the greatest people we've ever met. You're strong and passionate and won't ever give up without a fight. We admire you for that, and so of course we love you."

"E-even…even you?" The younger girl looked up through her light bangs, and Presea felt overwhelmed with her sadness that she couldn't help what came next.

"Yes, even me. I love you the most," she said without thinking of the possible consequences.

"Then, will you love me tonight?"

"Huh? I-I suppose…"

Colette smiled sadly, but it was filled with such joy and happiness that Presea couldn't help but smile with her.


"Thank you, Presea!" Colette smiled cheerily, having become her old self again after last night. "I won't burden you again, so I'm going to go to Emil's house now. Thank you again for the wonderful stay. But let's just keep it a secret, okay?"

"Okay. Goodbye, Colette. Travel safely." Presea waved the girl off as she left Ozette and set off for Luin, where she assumed her friend would be. He'd take her in, right? They were practically the same person! Their personalities were so similar that she could tell anyone that she was positive that he'd let her stay with him. So she travelled down the paths that led to the happy town. As she approached Lake Sinoa, she breathed deeply, taking in the smell of the flowers that surrounded the town. She reached the outskirts of Luin, and she could smell the various types of food that could be found in the market. Then, she walked across the bridge, smiling at the statues of her group that lined the streets. She remembered her journey to save the world, and how they'd helped to rebuild Luin from the ground up after the Desian attack.

She made her way to the fountain in the square before heading over to Emil's house. She smiled up at the statue of Lloyd and prayed a little, wishing that she knew where he was and that he was here to comfort her. But he had left long ago to continue collecting Exspheres, something he'd decided to halt when he'd heard about the Centurion's cores so long ago. He was off with Goddess-knows-who, maybe Genis or Sheena. But he wasn't here. She knew that much.

She threw one Gald coin into the fountain, making a wish. Then, she turned around and headed to the house that used to be the inn. That was where Emil should have been. As it turned out, she had been right. She flung open the door with her free hand and rushed into the room, startling the other blond in the room. "Emil!" she cried, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

"C-Colette…" he whispered raspily, not getting enough air into his lungs. "Hi."

Colette released him and looked around. "Hi, Emil," she said cheerily to him as she redirected her attention to him.

"I'm sorry, but what are you doing here?" Emil asked, confused.

"Oh, uh…" Waves of bad memories flooded to the front of her mind, and it flowed out of her in the form of tears. "I-I…I was…" she sobbed.

Emil didn't know what to do with the crying girl. "Oh! Um…there, there. It's all right. What happened?"

"He—he broke up with me!" she wailed. "S-so I—I thought that you could h-help."

"Uh, of course! I'll help you!" He patted her back, attempting to comfort her, and, indeed, her sobs calmed and quieted after a moment. "You're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like."

"Th-thanks, Emil." Colette flashed that same irresistible sad, yet happy, smile, and Emil found himself flushing a deep red.

She really is cute, he thought. Maybe…no. Smiling back at her, he led her to the bedroom so that she could put her stuff away.


No one really knows how it happened, or why, or when, but what is known is that those two—meaning Emil and Colette—ended up dating. Some say that she pressured him into it, which is the probable explanation, because everyone knows that Emil has no spine. Others say that he asked her. Still others say that it was a happy—and unhappy—accident. The world will probably never know, so it is impossible to reiterate it here.

Anyway, Emil and Colette were in there shared bed a few days after they announced their relationship to the world. Emil was beaming, because he'd wanted her for a while, but Colette looked considerably less excited. "What's wrong?" Emil asked upon noticing her expression.

"It's just that…well, should we really be doing this? It's just that…I'm a little nervous. I've never shared a bed with anyone other than my zombie." Colette sighed upon remembering her previous lover.

"We can go back to separate beds if you want, my dear," Emil cooed. "Whatever makes you happy."

"…No, it's okay. Good night." Colette turned on her side and went to sleep. A strange dream haunted her that night.

"Hey!" a voice yelled. Colette whipped around, and as her hair settled, she momentarily thought of Willow Smith. She saw a person with blond hair running toward her. The person looked suspiciously like herself, and she wondered if she had created a twin in this dream world.

"Hello?" she called to the person, who just kept running without pause. She looked closer and saw that the person was, in fact, male. If one could call him male. Perhaps the most appropriate term would be "effeminate". This meant that he was not her twin. So who…?

"Hey!" he said again, and he slowed down enough that she could pick out distinctive characteristics. Blond bangs that stuck out at an angle similar to Raine's and hair that reached down to his back. A white smock-like shirt covering deep indigo leggings. Girly purple bracelets on each arm. Strangely but undeniably, it was Mithos Yggdrasill himself.

"M-Mithos?" she asked. Mithos said nothing, but instead walked up to her, breathing heavily, and smacked her. "Hey! What was that for?"

"You're so stupid, Colette!" Mithos shouted. "What are you thinking?"

"Wh-what are you talking about?" she replied dumbly. She was confused.

Mithos glared. "Why are you with that wannabe?"

"Emil? Uh, I-I don't know…because I love him?" she guessed, afraid of his response.

"Wrong! You don't love him! He's not worthy of you!" Mithos folded his arms across his chest pointedly and stared deep into her soul.

Colette cocked her head to the side. "What? I don't…?"

"No. Can't you see it? You love someone else. You have to look deep within yourself to find the answer, though. I've been watching you, Colette. I can tell you're unhappy. You deserve the person who will make you happiest. The one that will treat you well. The one that you belong with. The One." He smiled at her, and it reminded her how her father would smile at her when they had these kinds of talks when she was younger. When they talked about…him…

Mithos started to fade away. "Wait! Who is The One for me?" Colette pleaded. "You can't go yet!"

"I won't tell you who it is. I can't. I'm not allowed. But you…you can figure it out. You have the knowledge. You'll know right away. All you have to do is think." He smiled again, except she could barely tell. "You're strong, Colette. Use that strength to find him. He's the one that's always been there for you, and the one who always will be. Find him and hold onto him. You two deserve each other…"

Mithos had completely disappeared by now, and Colette was left, staring at empty black space.

"…Thank you…" she whispered to the emptiness.

Colette bolted upright in bed, panting heavily. "What was that…?" she wondered. She glanced over at Emil, who was sleeping soundly. He looked at peace and happy, and then it hit her. He was content, but…she wasn't. She needed The One. The one that Mithos had said. The person who would always be there for her…

She then had a revelation for the second time that night. It was…

She had to get out of here.


Taking a Rheaird, Colette took to the skies, hurrying to find the one she loved. She searched practically the whole world, flying over trees, mountains, lakes, snow, towns, cities, and oceans. Naturally, this took several hours, so by the time she'd given up trying to find him that night, she was dead tired. She let the Rheaird slowly decline until she was flying side-by-side with small houses. She landed in front of Meltokio and trudged into the city, disheartened. She found the inn there, thinking any deity that could possibly be out there that it was near the front entrance, and went in, pulling out her wallet.

"Room for one, please," she said sullenly, and she set the required amount of Gald on the counter.

The sound of footsteps clambered down the stairs, but Colette paid them no mind until a familiar voice spoke. "Colette?" he said, astounded.

"L-Lloyd?" Colette turned around as fast as she could, hope replacing her depressed expression. The swordsman was standing on the staircase, leaning so far over the railing that she was afraid that he would fall over. His face looked surprised and shocked, but also elated to see her. He looked exactly as she remembered, and tears began falling from her eyes again.

"Colette?" he asked again, this time more concerned. He finished descending the stairs, and he rushed to her, holding her in an embrace and wiping away her tears. "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing's wrong…not anymore." Colette beamed up at him. "I've been looking for you."

"What? You have? Why?" he asked, confused, but also happy about something.

"Because, Lloyd…you're him. The one that's always been there for me. The one that always will be there for me. The one that makes me the happiest. The one that will treat me well. The one that I belong with. The One…" She broke down into joyful sobs, crying into his chest. "I-I'm so happy that I found you…"

"Me, too, Colette. Thank you for coming for me…" Lloyd mumbled into her hair.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too," she whispered back.


If you couldn't guess from this extremely weird one-shot, here's the prompt I got:

"Colette and the first zombie you fight in the game are in a happy relationship until the zombie runs off with Raine. Colette, brokenhearted, has a hot, one-night stand with Presea and a brief, unhappy affair with Emil, then follows the wise advice of Mithos and finds true love with Lloyd."

Anyway, I accidentally clicked on her profile link, and because my Internet was being super-duper slow, I read through the survey thing and found this. Then I decided that it would make a strange, yet awesome, story. So I wrote it. It turned out a lot less funny than I originally intended, but I was in a mourning sort of mood today after staying up for three hours, crying my eyes out over a really sad movie-thing I found. But, yeah. She also said that she would name it "FTW", so I respected her answer for the survey and named it this. I'm a strange person, I know, but so are you. And I can prove it. But not right now, because that'd take too long. So there. Bye. Hope you liked it.

Review if you want, I guess.