TwiTrash
CONTAINS TWILIGHT BASHING! You were warned.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga, books or movies, they are Stephanie Meyers.
Once upon a time there was a very ancient immortal with two sons.
One son was bitten by a freak dog thing. When the full moon came out he turned into a look-alike to the freaky dog thing.
The other son was bitten by a radioactive bat, and thus was able to turn into a bat. But, unfortunately for him, he could not go out in the daytime because the sun thought he was a freak of nature and therefore tried to kill him with its ultraviolet rays, and so it was he could only go out at night to suck people's blood because he could not make his own because he was dead.
Then, after hundreds of years of butt sex with bears and fairies we get the mix between the original werewolves and butt raped bear, and we also get the sparkle fairy pansies with down syndrome who dance and sing and eat bunnies and kittens for breakfast and have pedophilic relationships with two year olds and their BFF's freak of nature kid who shouldn't even exist in the first place, but Meyer is a freaking retard and doesn't have a clue what she's doing and can't put a cast together to save her life, unlike J.K., because Eddie-kins constantly looks like he has to take a crap, and Bella looks like someone sat on her face, and Ron Weasley is totally hot and awesome, that we now call the 'Cullens' and 'Quilluettes'.
-fnk
A/N: I can't wait to see how many flames I get for this one.
Twilight Blows!