His feet weren't fast enough, his reflexes too pathetic, his aim so far off, even he couldn't understand. He ran, fast and hard, breathless but still breathing, anything God. Anything to get to her in time, the streets were narrowing, the stony ground becoming longer, so very far from the next road. Threatening flashes streaked through his mind, bruised, battered, broken. He could see it already, the shell of broken woman.
God Please, he knows he doesn't believe, he knows he's been forsaken to this damned life, but not her. Bleeding, burnt, beaten, he couldn't. He shook his head back and forth, his heart rate accelerating.
The night fog blurred his vision; he inhaled and closed his eyes; laughter, God such pure heartfelt laugher echoed, let him hear it again. Once. Just once. He'll beg, he'll plea, he'll cry, anything. Ocean eyes glistening alongside the tremors of the sun, he wants, no, needs to see it. The splashes of rain attack the concrete as his steps become heavier. He exhales, he needs her.
He can see it, her silhouette in the dark, never-ending distance. He feels his heart shatter like glass as her figure drops to the stone cold ground, his breathing becomes erratic, he's still too far away, but he can see it, the way her eyelids shut forcefully, he can't, he doesn't, he won't be able to, there aren't enough words, or better yet the right words.
His eyes snap shut, he shakes his head, someone wake him up from the nightmare, when he opens his eyes again, he realises the nightmare was like a dream, it was a place that he could still see her. The empty desk in front reminding him of his greatest failure, he practically lives here now, he's been here for so long, it's the only place that has her touch, they put the rest away, things given away as her will said.
He slumps into her chair, taking comfort in the fact it was once hers, he logs onto the computer and listens the same message…
"Hey Oliver, are you listening to this, well duh, that's a dumb question cos you're listening, which means that I must not be there, and must be like six feet under, which is probably very unfortunate for me. Anyways how are you today? …..Let me take you up on your offer and tell you about my day, Today you walked into QC in your grey suit as all I could think was how you looked so tall and handsome as hell in it, and then Dig walked in behind you, his arms bulging out of his suit, do you think he's on steroids, those guns are huge and I totally just said guns …..oh yeh you walked in and asked me if I'm okay, yesterday Greg passed away he was the closest thing I had to Dad, it was so unexpected, everyone at home was screaming that he wasn't prepared and that he was too young, but it can happen to any of us. Enough about that… what I actually left message for was because, I want you to know, I was happy, everything we've done for this city has made me undeniably happy, you have made me happy, you and Dig both. oh no I'm getting teary, frack, that wasn't meant to be on this message. Breathe Felicity. If I'm being honest I'm a little scared, not about dying, cos you know that happens to us all, I'm scared you're gonna blame yourself, or go crazy, Don't. Just say you'll remember me. Goodbye Oliver, I love you, Oh frack said another secret, but yeh I do, always have, Goodbye"
His heart breaks repeatedly, someone please spare him from this pain, he gulped and the words escape his lips, the same way they have the past 362 days he's listened to this message
"I'll always remember you, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, red lips and rosy cheeks, I always remember you, you were my wildest dream"