He was a hero. Or at least he thinks he was. Maybe he still is? He knew he had rescued damsels and he had slain beasts and, oh, the cheers of the people! Lir! Lir! Lir! A hero knows of maidens and poetry and courting. A hero knows of sacrifice and shields and spears and answers to impossible riddles. A hero knows heartless kings and castles that tumbled with childhood memories into the sea. A hero knows of power and prayer and the weight of an ogre head, carried as proof of victory. A hero knows that unicorns exist, that they look nothing like white mares. And good Lord he does, he knows all those things! He knows that the fumes from a dragon are more dangerous than the flames and that sometimes, just sometimes, you can make friends with a troll. That a griffin has two hearts, one eagle and one lion, and if you don't slay both, one half of the melded monster will pierce armor. That once upon a time, in a land far far away, a harpy and a manticore and a white rabbit sat down for tea and a little girl fell down a rabbit hole. Or no, that wasn't right. Once upon a time, in a land far far away, all the unicorns in the world were herded into the sea but one. One. One. One. One. Unicorn. Unicorn. Snowflakes and sea foam and where was he again? "He's having one of his bad days." "Those seem to be coming more often than not."Oh that's right, because on good days he knows that he can't put his own armor on anymore, because he's been wandering inside his own mind for far too long. Because he's not good with time anymore.But a hero doesn't have time for these matters. A hero charges into battle. And when he rode off to slay the beast, he knows he must always remember. A hero knows that a griffin has two hearts, one eagle and one ape. Or was that a satyr? Or a sphinx? Or the poor little spider who thought herself a weaver greater than a goddess? He knows he's killed the beast with one thrust of his sword. One. One. One. One. He knows his people will rejoice. Lir! Lir! Lir! And too soon he knows that he bleeds just like they do. That a griffin has two hearts, one eagle, one lion. And it's red. Red. Red. And where was he again?