The Wedding

Author's note: This story is based on the common conception that at weddings, people start copulating like rabbits.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not Inuyasha, nor the characters in said manga, or anything else for that matter. Nothing, I tell you!

Sesshoumaru had hit rock bottom. He had thought he couldn't sink further than actually attending this travesty. But of course, thinking that you had hit rock bottom was an invitation to whatever gods there was, to fuck you over further. Karma was a bitch.

When Inuyasha had verbally attacked him in the kitchen two weeks earlier about the wedding between Sango and Miroku, or as Sesshoumaru called them, Dumb and Dumber, the answer had been apparent. No. As in no way in hell. But of course, that's not what he had said. Oh no. Instead, he had fumbled after an excuse. Why had he needed an excuse? Why not just say; 'No thank you, I despise you all'?

And of course, all good excuses had already been used. And used again. And the fact that his dratted half-brother had caught him early in the morning hadn't helped either. He couldn't possibly be expected to make creative loopholes before he had his morning coffee. Further proof, he needed to kick Inuyasha out of his house. Why they were living together was a mystery to him. Correction. They were not living together. Inuyasha was a freeloader. Inuyasha exploited Sesshoumaru's hospitality. And by the gods, he was sticking to that story.

So, how had he sunk lower than this concession, to actually attend the wedding of Dumb and Dumber? Easy. As soon as the reception had started, Inuyasha had shamelessly abandoned him to go hook up with one of the bridesmaids. Leaving Sesshoumaru to stand alone in a sea of brightly dressed, tipsy, and frivolous people. It was not his day. It was not his year.

And of course, in a situation like this, there was only one thing to do. Get staggeringly wasted, and hope that Inuyasha wouldn't shag the bridesmaid. Which would mean he, Sesshoumaru, would be forced to wait even longer, in order to drive his half-brother back to his own house, in his own car. Oh how low the mighty have fallen.

As previously stated the getting staggeringly wasted plan was foiled by the fact that he was the designated driver. And to top off this sad fact, he was as a result holding a glass of carrot juice. Carrot juice wasn't even fit for humans to drink, let alone powerful demons. Or supposedly-powerful demons, as Sesshoumaru thought if he truly was powerful, he wouldn't be standing with a glass of carrot juice in his hand.

Pushing through the festive crowd with a half-formed thought of plotting vengeance against all carrots everywhere, Sesshoumaru felt himself bumb into something. Or rather, someone. Appalled, he looked at the woman now covered with carrot juice. How embarrassing. And you just knew the girl would make trouble of it. Because women couldn't accept the fact that some accidents were in fact, accidental.

"Nice going, Fabio."

He blanched. Fabio? The hell?

"Excuse me, I am terribly sorry."

He then proceeded to push past the woman, and hope to make it into the house, and to the kitchen unscathed. But of course, his bad luck prevailed.

"Hey, where do you think you are going?"

A grimace found its way upon his lips when he realized he was being followed. He turned around, and held up the door, so the woman could enter the house simultaneously as him. Might as well have this little confrontation in private.

"Give me your shirt."

Granted, that one he hadn't seen coming.

"Excuse me?"

The girl smiled at him. She was actually quite attractive. Had it not been for the fact that her blue summer dress had big orange splotches over the entire front. But of course, that had nothing to do with… anything. He dismissed the idea, accompanying with the disturbing image of Inuyasha smooching the bridesmaid.

"Well, obviously, I can't go around like this the rest of the evening. And since you're the one who caused the entire situation, I think it is only fair you give me your shirt."

This was delivered with a dead-pan look and a tapping foot. Wondering exactly what he had done lately to deserve this, Sesshoumaru gave up trying to reason with this request, and simply removed his jacket, untied his bow tie, and handed her his white shirt.

"Thank you."

She put it on over her dress, tied it around her waist, and proceeded to stare at him, to his great mortification. She had blood red eyes, something which probably meant she was also youkai. Not that he cared. The pressing issue was why was she still standing there, looking at him? He had given the creature his shirt, what more did she want?

"I'm Kagura."

She reached out her hand, and in his confusion Sesshoumaru actually shook it.

"Are you here for the bride or the groom?"

Was she trying to make small-talk?

"My brother brought me."

Was there a good excuse for him to get out of here now? More carrot juice perhaps?

"I see. Well?"

Well? Well bloody what? He stared at her.

"Aren't you going to do anything?"

Do what? Women made absolutely no sense.

"I already gave you my shirt."

"Good point."

She grinned at him. And somehow, he felt he was completely missing the entire point of the conversation.

"Don't you know the only reason people come to these things is to get laid?"

The only reason people come to what is to what? Sesshoumaru couldn't believe what he had just heard. Had he walked onto the set of an under produced porno? After his shoddy luck all month, he couldn't believe the woman actually meant they should… Wait a second. He was being an idiot. Had his brain shut down lately?

"Inuyasha put you up to this, didn't he?"

He glared at the girl, Kagura, whatever she said her name was. She laughed at him. She actually laughed. Who did she think she was?

"I don't give a damn about your family relations. Follow me."

And with that she grabbed his hand, and started leading him upstairs. Sesshoumaru was still trying to figure out exactly what was going on.

"Erhm… My name is Sesshoumaru"

He didn't know why he felt obliged to give this information. She turned around to smile at him again.

"I don't really care."

Three hours later

"Did you have fun?"

Inuyasha was pestering him. It wasn't good enough that he was driving the ungrateful little bastard home, no. Apparently, he needed verbal proof of exactly how much he had made his brother suffer.

"Uh."

A nod and a grunt should suffice. There was no way Inuyasha could know what had happened in the upstairs bathroom. And if Sesshoumaru had anything to say about it, he never would.

"That bridesmaid was really nice."

"Do you remember her name?"

Sesshoumaru didn't take his eyes off the road, but he could still hear his brother scoff.

"Of course. Kagome, something. Her last name started with Hig… something."

Inuyasha truly was an idiot. Personally Sesshoumaru couldn't care less, but of course he would have to hear about this Kagome woman for weeks now. Damnation.

"You spent the entire party standing around and glaring at people, didn't you?"

Sesshoumaru gave another unenthusiastic grunt, and kept on driving.

Fodder for further discussion: Sesshoumaru, OOC. A given, considering not a single one of us actually know what the guy is thinking. I'd like to think he is just as clueless as the rest of us. Why did I write it from his point of view? Because it's just funnier that way. The entire thing is AU…yeah. Not much to add there. Kagura… well, make up your own minds. Let the flaming begin!