~*~Asking Alexandria~*~
by Hatter of Madness
Potions class could not go fast enough. Slughorn, it seemed, had the ability to drone on forever about the silliest topics. Ginny sat watching him, chin in hand, with one eye on the clock. The sooner this class was over, the better.
Finally, the class ended, and before Slughorn had a chance to stop her, Ginny packed up her things and practically sprinted out of class next to her dorm mate, Azalee Parkes. It was lunchtime for the students of Hogwarts, and Ginny was not planning on skipping a meal, especially with Quidditch season. She had always been a small girl, but maybe that year she could get a bit of muscle to become a better Beater for the Gryffindor team.
"What's the matter, need to see your boyfriend?" Azalee teased, in reference to Harry Potter.
Ginny rolled her eyes. "No. Need to see my lunch."
Azalee laughed. "Yes, of course, silly me."
They sat down in the Great Hall and, to Ginny's great surprise, were interrupted by none other than Draco Malfoy. "Buzz off, Malfoy," she said over her shoulder when she saw him. If she offended him in any way, he didn't show it and continued to stand there. She finally turned around to face him and said, "What?"
"It might interest you to know, Weaselette, that Professor McGonagall is looking for you," he said.
She stared at him, not understanding what he was getting at. "Oh? And if McGonagall is looking for me, then why have you been so kind as to pass on the message? Shouldn't that be McGonagall's job?"
"Well, Weaselette, it might interest you to know that on Tuesdays I have Transfiguration before lunch, and, well, what do you know? It's Tuesday, isn't it?" He was speaking to her as though she was only three years old.
"Good," she said, though she really didn't care, "but I have her class later today." She wasn't quite sure she believed him, and, unless McGonagall actually did speak to her later, was going to regard him with a grain of salt. "So unless it's..."
"Oh, it's urgent," Malfoy said, then promptly walked off.
Ginny rolled his eyes. "He's a nutter, no doubt," she told Azalee, then went back to her soup.
After lunch, Azalee had Herbology; she had no need to take Transfiguration, as after school she wanted to be an Herbologist. Ginny considered this a very odd choice on her friend's part, but had said nothing when the issue arose.
When she arrived in Professor McGonagall's classroom, she was, oddly enough, the first one there. She was in the process of walking to her seat when the teacher said, "Miss Weasley...a word?"
So maybe Malfoy was right, she thought as she walked to the teacher's desk. "Yes, Professor?"
"Miss Weasley, I have received information that you and another student were involved in a duel in the hallways?" Professor McGonagall said disapprovingly. Use of magic in the corridors was strictly prohibited, and if anyone paid close mind to the rules, it was definitely Professor McGonagall. It would especially upset her to know that one of her own Gryffindor students had broken the rules.
"What? No, I didn't!" Ginny said, shocked.
"Oh? So you did not use the Bat Bogey Hex on a fifth year Slytherin girl? Miss Greengrass, I presume?"
Now it came flooding back. She had used the hex on Astoria Greengrass while walking in the corridors just two days prior, but that wasn't to say she was in an all out duel with her... Besides, it had just been self defense. Astoria had been firing hexes off left and right, and one had accidentally hit Ginny, so she retaliated. She had done it without thinking, and had hoped that no one had caught her... But then, there was someone who had been observing with watchful eyes.
"Malfoy," she muttered.
"I'm afraid I will have to remove you from the Gryffindor Quidditch team, Miss Weasley."
Ginny's mouth fell open. "But Professor, I have..."
"However, there is another option..." Ginny immediately fell silent. "It will most likely interest you to know that Miss Greengrass has received several detentions with Professor Snape, I have made certain of that. However, Professor Snape does not influence what I do with students of my own house..." The way McGonagall said this made Ginny oddly fearful. "As I'm sure you've heard, this year it was Professor Flitwick's idea that Hogwarts have a bit of a, er...a newsletter. The Hogwarts Herald, I believe you've heard of it?"
Ginny had seen the newsletter in the common room one night after a long day of Quidditch practice, when she had neglected her Charms reading and instead played Exploding Snap with Harry and Ron, much to Hermione's disapproval ("We have our N.E.W.T.s at the end of the year!" she had said sharply). A girl in her first year had been reading it, and Ron had turned it into such a joke. "It's probably some old nutter who came up with that," he said. "I hate to know what sort of pricks they have writing articles..." ("Ron!" Hermione had interjected.)
"Now, unfortunately," McGonagall continued, "the journalist behind our advice column, Asking Abigail, had a bit of an accident recently in Herbology, and will have to be in the Hospital Wing for quite some time. Therefore, it is essential that someone takes her place, but since the newsletter is entirely clandestine, it is invitation only. And with your essays in Professor Binns, Snape, and my own classes, I feel you are up to the position. Of course, a change in the name is in order, since readers will probably realize the change in writers..."
Ginny was thinking hard about this, her brain running a mile a minute as McGonagall was talking. A Herbology accident... Azalee had mentioned something going horribly, horribly wrong just a day or so prior... And instantly, the name and face came to mind.
"Asking Abigail wouldn't happen to be Felicity Eastchurch, would it?" she asked. "From Ravenclaw?"
Professor McGonagall's face took on a very grim expression. "Yes, that would be her," she said. "Of course, this information has to remain clandestine, you are aware? Since this is a clandestine newsletter and everyone assumes an alias?"
Oh, brother, Ginny thought, avoiding the temptation to roll her eyes. "Of course, Professor. It wasn't like I was about to run off and tell Azalee Parkes that Felicity writes in the Hogwarts Herald..."
"This is not a joking matter, Miss Weasley." By this point, some students had come in, so Professor McGonagall's voice dropped down to a sharp whisper. "So, will you take Miss Eastchurch's place in the advice column?"
"Absolutely not," Ginny said. There was no way she would be wasting her time on a newsletter, one that nobody even read.
"It's either the Hogwarts Herald or no Quidditch," Professor McGonagall said.
Oh, she knew that McGonagall said that just to set her off... She wasn't going to let it get to her, though. "When do I start?"
Ginny looked at the slip of parchment McGonagall had given her. She had to be in the Room of Requirement at five o'clock sharp and stay for at least half an hour, just to get acquainted with the newsletter staff. Unfortunately, this meant that she had to be late to Quidditch practice, and because she couldn't tell Harry, the captain and her boyfriend, that she was working on the clandestine newsletter, she didn't have any excuse as to why she would be late, so she fired off the first thing that came to mind:
"I have to go to tutoring!"
Ron overheard this and stared at her skeptically. "And what is Miss Ginny failing? I don't think you've ever gotten lower than an Exceeds Expectations in your life. Finally manage a Troll?"
Note to self: Kill Ron, she thought, then said quickly, "Er, I'm not the one being tutored, I'm the one that's doing the tutoring."
"Who are you tutoring?" Harry asked. "And for what class?" It was obvious that the geers were turning in his head and that he'd be speaking to this teacher, demanding to know what they were thinking for keeping one of his star players away from practice. It wasn't even a big deal, she would only be missing half an hour anyway...
"I don't know yet," she said, just to avoid having to give off a name when she was already struggling. "And it's for Transfiguration. McGonagall only asked me because I'm top in my class," she said, glaring at Ron. "I tried to tell her it was during Quidditch," she said, now looking at Harry, "but you know McGonagall. 'Education comes first'."
Harry grinned at the near perfect impression of their Transfiguration professor, then said, "Alright, then, even I'm not thick enough to go and banter with McGonagall. I'd just be fighting a losing battle." And with that, he fell back into conversation with Ron.
Ginny sighed, narrowly scraping her way through that ordeal. At four fifty-five, she made sure she had all of her Quidditch possessions safely with her, then walked to the Room of Requirement, pacing back and forth three times and thinking, I need the bloody headquarters or whatever for the Hogwarts Herald.
And before her appeared a gray door. She looked around, triple checking that no one was coming, and ducked into the room quickly.
This has to be a mistake, she thought, for the first person that she saw was...
"Malfoy?" she said in alarm, while Malfoy grinned at the recognition.
"That's my name, don't wear it out," he said.
"What are you doing here?" she said.
"Working for the Herald," he said, sounding bored. "What are you doing here?" he asked, though since she knew that he was the one that turned her into McGonagall, he knew fairly well why she was there.
She ignored him, which was good timing as at that moment, Professor McGonagall rushed over. "Oh, Miss Weasley, I was afraid you weren't coming," she said, sounding a bit out of breath. "Sorry about the wait, there was an incident with a Quick Quotes Quill over with Mr. Longbottom... Well, welcome!"
Ginny attempted to grin, but it came out looking more like a grimace. "So, what do I have to do?"
"Professor Snape and I"—Ginny surpressed a groan; of course Snape was behind this—"have decided that the new name of the advice column is to be Asking Alexandria, since we may no longer use Asking Abigail."
Ginny frowned. "Isn't that the name of a Muggle band?"
McGonagall ignored her, though her features tightened as though she was surpressing her own frown. "Now, here is a list of the staff here. I believe you should take some time to get acquainted with them."
She gave Ginny a piece of parchment. On it were twelve names, meaning that she was lucky number thirteen to join the group, then wondered if there was some sort of curse on the position, giving what happened to Felicity. Oh, what am I thinking, she thought immediately after. She's always had rotten luck.
THE HOGWARTS HERALD
Developed by Filius Flitwick
Teaching Staff
Prof. Filius Flitwick, Founder
Prof. Minerva McGonagall, Printing
Prof. Severus Snape, Proofreading
Student Writers
Lavender Brown, Puzzles. Accio
Colin Creevey, Student Submitted Posts. Aristotle
Neville Longbottom, Lost and Found. Scamander
Luna Lovegood, World News. Rowena
Ernie Macmillan, Advertising. Whizbee
Draco Malfoy, Quidditch and Events. Salazar
Padma Patil, Horoscopes. Tarot
Parvati Patil, Did You Know...? Bathilda
Rose Zeller, Hogwarts News. Skeeter
Stuck between Colin and Neville was the name Felicity Eastchurch, but it was crossed out. Ginny was surprised; she hadn't realized so many Gryffindors were writing for the newsletter. It seemed that this was McGonagall's idea of punishment. If it was, then...well, Ginny had to give her credit. It seemed like students would have a difficult time choosing between detention and writing in a newsletter. And what kind of section was 'Did You Know...?', anyway?
"So, er, Professor?" Ginny asked. McGonagall looked up in alarm, having not been aware she had finished reading. But the truth was, her mind was realing with questions, too many to voice out loud. The first thing that came out of her mouth was, "How does Colin do student submitted posts, exactly?"
"He chooses what goes in," she said, as though she wanted to add 'of course' to the end.
"And what are these words after the person's position? You know, like Whizbee and Salazar?"
"They're pen names."
"Pen names?"
"It's a clandestine newsletter, Miss Weasley!"
"So I have a pen name, too, then?"
"The name of your column is Asking Alexandria, Miss Weasley, what do you assume Alexandria is? A disease?"
"And what am I supposed to do?" she asked.
"Well, naturally, you're supposed to give advice to the other students," McGonagall said. By this point she seemed very, very short with Ginny, as though she were about to spit fire. She led Ginny to a desk next to Malfoy before she could open her mouth again. "Now, as our Quidditch games sometimes have a long lull between, Mr. Malfoy is also in charge in sorting out the mail that we get. Anything he gets addressed to Abigail—and now, to Alexandria—he will give to you. Is this making sense, dear?"
I'm not stupid, Ginny thought, but nodded, saying, "Yes, Professor."
"Good," she said. "Now if you have any questions, do not be shy about addressing them with Professor Flitwick or Snape." She noticed that McGonagall did not add herself to this list before she walked away briskly.
There was already a reasonable sized stack on Ginny's desk, and she ripped a letter open.
Dear Abigail,
I think my boyfriend's snogging another girl. What do I do?
- Caught in the middle
Ginny's mouth fell open. What? Shouldn't it have been obvious what Caught in the Middle should have done? Go up to him, you twit! she thought miserably. Why are you wasting time writing to an advice column when your boyfriend is...
She shook her head. "Having fun, Weaselette?" Malfoy asked, a sneer on his face.
"These people are morons!" she said loudly—too loudly, as McGonagall came over quickly.
"Is there something you need, Miss Weasley?"
"I'm not supposed to answer all of these, am I, Professor?"
"Of course not!" Ginny's patience was running thin. "Do you know how long our newsletter would be if you addressed every person who had something to ask? No, you must read through these and choose which one you will be addressing. Professor Flitwick is working on writing a paragraph explaining the switch in writers. By the end of our meeting today, you should have one, maybe two, letters chosen." And with that she walked away.
"That's going to take forever," Ginny mumbled.
"Good luck, Weaselette."
"You set me up!" Ginny snapped.
"Did not!"
"Did so! You saw me and Astoria in the corridors the other day! You're the one that snitched to McGonagall and now I'm sitting here, having to read letters from the stupid gits that go to this school, all because you're some egotistical..."
BOOM.
"MR. LONGBOTTOM!" Professor McGonagall called over the noise.
"Sorry!" he called back. Apparently, the Hogwarts Herald wasn't just in charge of reporting what was in the last and found—they were in charge of the lost and found. And unfortunately, someone had lost cards from an Exploding Snap game. Quills and ink jars had been sent flying through the room, along with several pieces of parchment.
Ginny's face got sprayed with a reasonable sum of ink, and Malfoy laughed before a Quick Quotes Quill flew towards him and stuck itself in his forehead. Shrieking (in a way that Ginny had to practically stick her whole fist in her mouth to stop herself from laughing), he started to struggle with it. In the ensuing chaos, Ginny crept out the door, ran to the locker rooms, and changed for Quidditch. She ran out onto the field and took off.
Taking one look at her, Ron burst into laughter.
"Tutoring go well?" Harry asked, grinning.
"Why...?"
Harry pointed at her face.
Ginny put a hand to her face and it came away black. "Let's just say it was...an eventful session."
Sorry about the length of this, I didn't want it to be too short but once I got going, it ended up becoming too long :c If you're still here, yay, please review. To be honest I'm not a big fan of this pairing (Ginny/Draco), but I think I'm going to try it for this. I tried to get the writers' personalities and their column to match, but had a hard time with some of them, i.e., Ernie Macmillan. If you like this, please review. If you don't, well, review anyway and tell me how to make it better.
- Hatter of Madness