It was accident, really. They were childhood friends who happened to be going to the same art school. Rin was an excellent student who was easily accepted into the academy while Sousuke had to strive and stress himself to even be considered. Yet there they both were, sharing a classroom experience as they had in elementary school. Sousuke had noticed Rin in an instant. It was hard not to with those razor sharp teeth and that wine red hair in his face. He was a little bit disappointed that his friend hadn't recognized him, but it had been years since their last encounter. He was convinced that Rin had forgotten him by now.
But he hadn't! They were paired up together and as soon as Rin laid his eyes on Sousuke's face at a close range, he knew exactly who it was. They acted as if they had never been apart.
Months later, the two decided it would be in their best interest to get together after one very interesting, drunken exchange. That would bring us to now. They had been dating for almost a year and well…
This had been building for quite some time. Sousuke and Rin hadn't seen each other in over a month. The distance and lack of communication between the pair was starting to affect the redhead. He couldn't take it anymore. Finally, he decided enough was enough. They were going to talk whether Sousuke liked it or not. He didn't care if he had some work to catch up on or a test to study for. They were finally going to talk.
He wished he'd taken up the offer to move in with Sousuke now. At the time, Rin didn't think it was a good idea. All he could think of was how distracting Sousuke would be when he needed to sit down and study or work on something. Rolling over on his bed, he grabbed his phone from the table where it was plugged in and opened up his boyfriend's contact. What was he to say?
It took Rin a good twenty minutes to finally come up with something. He was never good at coming up with words, but he knew if he didn't say something now, it would never get better. Sousuke would most likely carry on like nothing was happening.
+Matsuoka Rin: Hey. Can you come over tonight?
+Sousuke 3: Can't. busy.
With that reply (that took seven minutes, for the record), Rin's heart dropped. His stomach churned and he set his phone down, not even bothering to reply. He rolled back over, pulling his blanket over himself. What was he supposed to do now? It was only seven. Far too early to go to sleep and not late enough to "drink" and show up at Sousuke's place in as an emotional mess.
He heard his phone buzz again and he sat up so fast he felt dizzy. Taking a moment to recover, he dove at his phone to see what he said.
+Makoto: hey, rin! haven't talked in a while and i was wondering if you wanted to go get some coffee.
+Rin (^^^): Is Haru going to be there?
+Makoto: no. he says he has to stay home and focus.
+Rin (^^^): Yeah okay. Coffee sounds nice. The one on Main?
+Makoto: yeah! meet me there in fifteen minutes?
+Rin (^^^): Okay. I'll see you soon.
Leave it to Makoto to have perfect timing. He got up and got dressed, then headed out to the coffee shop. The walk there was short, which was nice, considering he didn't have a car.
When he arrived, Makoto was already there, smiling face and a hand waving to catch Rin's attention. He plopped down in a chair across from him with a smile.
"Hey," the redhead started.
"Hey," the other replied. "So I bet you're wondering why I randomly asked you to come hang out with me."
"Not really. Just thought it was because we were friends," he sighed, looking away and watching people in the window. So there was meaning behind this. Great. He didn't want this. He just wanted to sit and hang out with his friend.
"It's about Sousuke," he added, smile faltering.
"Oh?" Well, this was certain to be interesting.
"Well, we have a couple classes together and he seems really stressed out. I mean, usually we chat about normal stuff. You know. Classwork, boyfriends, gossip. On and on. He hasn't really talked about you lately. The last thing he said about you was that you rejected an offer to live together. Since then, whenever I ask about you, he just groans and focuses on his work." The brunette frowned. "Did you guys break up?"
Rin just stared for a moment. Was Sousuke really that upset about it? He had said he was fine about it and that he understood! Maybe if his stupid boyfriend talked to him once in a while, things wouldn't be so tense. "We never broke up that I know of. He has been avoiding me like the plague lately, though. Do you think he might want to break up with me?" He could feel the panic beginning in his chest.
"If you guys haven't broken up yet, I'd say you're safe." He gave him a reassuring smile and sipped at his coffee. "You should go order something and then we can continue out chat."
Nodding, the redhead got up and shortly returned with a steaming hot cup of coffee. "Does Sousuke really talk about me as much as you made it seem?"
Makoto looked around dramatically. "He'd kill me for telling you, but yeah, he does. I'm just worried about him. He's not himself. You should go visit him. I bet he'd like that."
Rin rolled his eyes, sipping at his coffee. "Earlier I asked him if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. He's always too busy for me."
"I still think you should go visit him. You asked him to come over to your place, so that would mean he'd have to leave his house, but if you go visit him, he gets to stay where he is and you get to see him."
Maybe Makoto was on to something. "I think I'll do that then. I'll just show up unannounced and see what's wrong with him. I was actually going to show up at his house later tonight drunk, but this sounds like a better idea."
The brunette laughed. "I'd say so. I can't see drunk Rin and stressed Sousuke making a good pairing. Well, actually, you never know. Maybe drunk Rin would make stressed Sousuke feel better," he teased with a little laugh.
Rin glared. "I think I'm going to go see him now, then, since someone's being a pervert. I'll talk to you later, Mako."
Makoto waved. "Don't forget to use protection!" he teased even further.
By the time Rin was knocking on Sousuke's door, he was a blushing, emotional mess. That's what happens when Makoto's comments get to his head and his mind wanders about what's about to happen. He could just feel a breakup coming on. His hand stopped right before knocking. He didn't want to walk into a break up.
With a deep breath, Rin mustered up the courage to knock and waited. He put on his normal façade and carried on unnoticed.
Sousuke answered. His face was pure shock and that's when Rin felt the tears. It was shock. Not happiness to see his boyfriend after so long. At least, that's the thought that ran across Rin's mind.
"Rin?" he questioned, looking the other up and down. "What are you—"
"We need to talk. Can I come in?" he asked, shoving his feelings down inside and wiping at his eyes quickly.
Sousuke ignored it and opened the door wider, letting the other in. Immediately, Rin pushed past him and went to sit on the couch. He tried to make himself comfortable but it was too obvious that he couldn't manage. Sousuke sat across from him in his arm chair and stared at Rin until he finally spoke.
"If you want to break up with me, please just do it because this is honestly driving me crazy," he snapped out bluntly. He didn't want to play this game of "I'm too busy" and "we'll just reschedule". "If you're ignoring me because you don't want this anymore, be a fucking man and tell me." There they were again. Tears formed and he looked down to mask it.
Sousuke stood up and got on his knees in front of Rin, wrapping his arms around him. "Hey, come on. Don't cry. You know I hate it when you cry."
Rin pushed Sousuke away, furiously wiping at his eyes. "I'm not crying!"
There was a moment of awkward silence. Sousuke was still on his knees and Rin was sobbing quietly into his hands. Finally, the taller man ran a hand down Rin's arm and made him look at him.
"I'm not going to break up with you," he admitted.
"Then why are you ignoring me? Why won't you come over anymore? I miss you! Can't you see that?" he yelled, anger and hurt apparent in his voice. "I feel neglected and unloved. I feel like I don't even matter to you! What happened to us? We were so great, Sousuke! We fell asleep texting each other or talking on the phone. You use to pull me into a kiss anytime we saw each other on campus or in the library unexpectedly. I saw you last week and smiled and waved and you acted like I didn't even exist!"
That was a lot for Sousuke to process. He stood up and sat next to Rin slowly. "I admit, things have been getting a little bit out of hand. I'm just afraid, I guess." He shrugged. "This is my first real relationship and I can already pick up the little things about you that's changing me. I'm just afraid of losing you. I know I've been ignoring you. I need some time to think about stuff. When you didn't want to move in.. I don't know. I guess it made me realize that I was more serious about us than you were."
"Hey! I'm very serious about us. The only thing I could see if we moved in together, though, is a lot of sex and making out. We'd never get anything done." He pouted.
Sousuke laughed at that. "You're useless around me, Rin. I think we'd be able to get stuff done. We'd just have to try a little hard to not always be all over each other." He placed a hand on Rin's thigh and rubbed comfortingly.
"I'm sorry I upset you by saying no. I had no idea you'd be so upset about it." He leaned in to kiss his boyfriend's cheek. "But that's no reason to ignore me and I'm still angry at you."
"I have the perfect solution. How about you slap me and then kiss me?" he offered.
"That's not going to make me any less angry at you. I'm being serious."
"I know, I know." He stilled his hand and gave an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. I'm just really new to all this and I'm not really sure how to handle this kind of situation."
"Just talk to me," the redhead sighed, hand on his lover's cheek. "Do you promise to talk to me from now on? Just tell me what's on your mind. You don't have to ignore me until you figure it out on your own. I mean it."
He nodded and gave Rin a chaste kiss on his lips. "I promise."
With a smile, he leaned in for a proper kiss.
In no time at all, Sousuke had the other on his lap, one hand tangled in those red locks and the other against his back, keeping him close. He felt so stupid. He had given up an entire month of this and why? Oh yeah because he was being stubborn about his feelings.
Rin was the first to pull away. His hands were cupping Sousuke's cheeks and he gave him a frown. That wasn't quite the reaction the taller man was expecting. It made his stomach churn and suddenly, he felt nervous about what Rin was feeling. This entire time, he was convinced that he could fix everything with those kisses and then magically his boyfriend would forget everything and move on.
But that's not how the world works and in the next moment, Rin was pushing Sousuke away and standing up. He crossed his arms and looked down on Sousuke with a glare.
"What?" he asked. "Didn't we fix everything?"
"No." Rin sighed and uncrossed his arms. He looked more disappointed than angry and Sousuke wasn't quite sure if that was a good sign or a bad one. "I understand now that my response hurt you, but it still doesn't give you any right to ignore me like that." His voice was calm and collected. It gave Sousuke the chills.
"I just.. I don't know. I got it in my head that maybe you didn't like me as much as I like you and that your rejection was your way of telling me that we weren't going to last. So I wanted to distance myself from you. It would be easier to slowly push you out of my life than have you suddenly break up with me and leave for good." He shook his head. "Gradual disappearance would hurt a lot less."
The shorter of the two stared at the other for a moment, lips slightly parted. What he heard was heart breaking. His eyes started to tear up and he looked away to wipe them. "Sousuke, that's not how I meant that at all. I love you a lot and I do think we can last. That's something I've never felt before. I knew that anyone else I've ever dated wasn't going to last. I couldn't picture myself with them in the future… But you're different. I mean, we've jokingly talked about our wedding and I could picture it so clearly in my mind. I can see us getting married and starting a family. I can see us buying our first house together and then moving to another one because we wanted more kids than expected." He smiled at the other, going to sit next to him again, leaning against him as he entwined their fingers. "We'll come home to each other at the end of the day and argue about who has to cook dinner, then give up and go out to eat. We'll sleep together every night and I'll wake you up because your snoring is loud… Or because I had a nightmare. I'll wake you up gently with a kiss or probably more often than not, with a pillow to your face because you're a heavy sleeper." They shared a laugh.
"Then why not start now? I know you think I'll only be a distraction, but I want to live with you. I won't distract you. I would never get in your way like that. I can behave myself if it means getting to wake up next to you every morning," he promised, squeezing Rin's hand.
There was a pause as he thought it over. "You really want it that badly?"
Sousuke nodded. "More than anything."
"Okay, fine. We can live together. I'll move in after exams. During break. Does that sound fair?" he asked.
The bigger man pulled the smaller close, squeezing him tightly. "Definitely."
"Sousuke," he gasped. "Not so tight!"
He let go and pulled him into a kiss before he could complain anymore.
Sometimes, all you need is to just talk to each other. You'd be surprised at what you can accomplish.