So I'm trying something new.
None of Supernatural belongs to me, but I really like the pairing of Dean and Castiel, so I decided to give it a go. If this is not something you'd enjoyed - you've been warned.
Enjoy and let me know what you think.
New. That was the word Castiel's mind seem to be getting back to again and again. All this was so devastatingly new to him. After millennia of certainty and stability everything around him was suddenly… New.
It's been weeks now that he was cast from heaven - almost human, almost all of his grace gone. The feeling and emotions that previously were so distant, mere echoes of his vessel's emotions, were reigning freely in him now. And what feelings they were! Castiel seemed to be feeling everything these days – from warmth of sunshine on his face to stirring of something as of yet unidentified in his chest whenever he thought of the Winchester brothers. Brothers… It all started with them. His fall from grace, his rebellion – all for them. And yet not only for them, but for the first time for him, Castiel.
He sighed heavily and sat on the grass damp with the evening due. He felt his trench coat getting wet and he knew he would soon feel uncomfortable. This was also new.
He enjoyed the night – that much was not new. He enjoyed staring at the stars which he used to believe were the greatest creations of his Father. He wasn't sure anymore and that was also new. He laid down on his back, resting his head on his hands and looking at the stars. Ignoring the dampness of the grass he simply laid there fascinated by all the feeling dwelling in him. He was overwhelmed with everything around him - so much so that he couldn't even focus on single thing. Everything was exciting – the grasshopper chirping somewhere near him, the faint light of the stars, the smell of grass, the warmth of summer night's breeze, the bird singing high in the tree and everything else he could hear or feel or smell. Even the sound of the footsteps, light but purposeful.
"Cas!" – An exasperated husky voice exclaimed, - "The grass is wet, don't lay there! You'll get the freakin' cold! You're human now!"
Castiel looked at him quizzically. – "I am looking at the stars, Dean. It's easier to look at them while laying down."
Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. – "You're a big baby, y'know. I'm not going to look after you if you're sick."
"I don't get sick."
"You do now. Besides, why are you staring at stars? Haven't you seen them being made, or something?"
"I'm not that old." – Dean could've sworn he heard the note of indignation in Cas' voice. – "Father created me after he created the humankind. I was not one of his first children." – He paused at that, deep in thought. – "I used to believe stars were his greatest creation."
"Yeah, I can see that." – Dean agreed and then with another sigh sat besides Cas.
"I don't think so anymore." – Castiel said and went silent again. He was once again overwhelmed with the feeling bubbling inside him. With the jolt of realization, he stared at Dean. There was something about him. This particular emotion was about Dean as it intensified greatly whenever Dean was present. Yet again, something new.
"Why?" – Dean asked still looking at the stars. – "I think they're amazing. So much energy!"
Cas stayed silent a moment longer. Dean turned to him expectantly and saw him staring right into his eyes. Dean could never get used to the way Cas looked at him. He was a child in so many ways – his stares were open and inquiring, all his emotions showed in those blue eyes of his. And yet today it was somewhat different.
"I think you are my Fathers greatest creation." – He said finally, still holding Deans gaze.
"What?" – Dean spluttered, shaking himself out of the strange stupor.
Castiel looked up again. – "I think you are astonishing."
"Cas!" – Dean sighed exasperated. – "This is not something you can say to another dude! Come on, you must know that!"
"But I believe it to be the truth." – Cas said looking at Dean questioningly. – "I believe humans are his greatest work. Having been an Angel of the Lord for so many millennia I can now appreciate how remarkable you are. The intensity of your feeling is overwhelming. I cannot understand how you get anything done with all those emotions bubbling inside you. I can't concentrate on anything and there's nothing even happening in my life. And then there's you…"
"Cas, you're making me uncomfortable." – Dean growled. – "Personal space, remember? Besides, I'm nothing special."
"You can't see yourself clearly, Dean. You are extraordinary. There's nothing simple about you. Having gone through hell in both the Pit and on Earth, you managed to stay sane and intact. You are the grounding you brother needs you to be but you also manage to stay grounded yourself. I see it in you – your love for Sam, your dedication, your unfaltering and stubborn belief in him, despite everything. And even me… You even care for the fallen angel… I am amazed by you, Dean."
"Cas!"
"You and I have a bond. I wasn't going to mention it, but I believe it entitles me to tell you what I see. I can see you Dean, real you." – Castiel sat up, facing Dean now. He looked at his eyes, searchingly, imploringly, but instead of finding what he was looking for, he saw Dean's eyes darken in anger.
"You know nothing of me, Castiel!" – he yelled standing up. – "Just because you're a freakin' angel, don't imagine you know me!" – He turned to leave but faltered as Castiel grabbed his hand. He looked down at the angel sitting at his feet and saw him staring confusedly at their hands.
"It was not my intention to anger you, Dean." – The angel said slowly. He was still looking at their hands. There seemed to be something wrong with them. His hand tingled. There was no reason for it, as far as Cas could see, and yet it did. Dean's skin was warm, but somehow rough and it seemed to radiate some kind of the current that Castiel felt in his fingertips. – "There's something wrong…" – He uttered and a moment later Dean pulled his hand angrily away from Castiel's. Dean was shocked to realize Cas was right. He shouldn't be feeling anything in the angel's touch, least of all the longing that suddenly filled him.
"You need to learn to respect other people's boundaries, Cas, or one day you'll get hurt." – Dean hissed and strode away.
Castiel laid down once again and closed his eyes. There was something happening inside him. Something so completely and undeniably new, he couldn't identify it. It had something to do with Dean and him, but also with being human. There was this, this… Longing? No, not longing. Something else. He knew he didn't want Dean to be unhappy with him, but for the life of him, he couldn't understand why expressing just how amazing he thought Dean was would anger him. Castiel would have like it said to him, especially from Dean, the man who knew him the best.
Castiel sighed again. Humans were strange beings, Castiel was sure of it, and Dean was clearly the strangest one he had ever known. And without even realizing it, Castiel drifted off to sleep.
It wasn't until 3 hours later that he woke up from an uneasy sleep and found himself covered with warm blanket. He smiled slightly as he got up and went inside.