Nightmares... he hadn't nightmares since he was ten-years-old, before he finally forced himself to forget about the monster that used to come out of the closet. Egon hoped they weren't going to be a regular occurrence after his recent... unusual experience. Suddenly panicking at the thought of reversal, relapse, and temporary stabilization, he clenched his hand into a fist and dug his nails into his skin to assure himself he was still a human with solid flesh and blood.
About ten minutes after he woke up with his heart racing as images of flashing lights, demons, underground prison cells, and vast expanses of darkness replayed in his mind, Egon conceded he wasn't going to get back to sleep any time soon. On a subconscious level, he must have expected it – he was the one who fell into bed fully dressed least often (almost never), as he had tonight. He crept out of the bunkroom as quietly as he could, hoping he wouldn't wake the others and have to face annoying questions. The feel of his glasses against his nose, of the floorboards under his feet, of the doorknob in his fingers, calmed him a little, reminding him it was over. He wondered if he'd feel this grateful every time he touched something for the rest of his life.
He had planned to go down to the kitchen and maybe heat up a cup of tea, or at least pour a glass of water, but once he was out in the hall, he noticed a light coming from the lab, as well as low voices and the sound of typing. Curious, he crossed the hall and opened the door all the way.
Ray, also still fully dressed in his uniform, instantly rose from the computer at the sound. A late news station was playing at a low volume on the portable TV nearby. "Egon. Sorry, did I wake you?"
He shook his head as he walked inside, closing the door behind him. "No, I..." He stopped, some instinct forbidding him from saying, "I couldn't sleep."
Even though Egon didn't say it out loud, Ray still said, "Me, neither. I can't stop thinking about what happened today."
"That makes two of us."
Ray picked up a thick, hardcover book and opened it to a marked page. "All paranormal researchers agree that complete proto-ectoplasmic conversion is impossible."
"Before this accident, I would've said the same. But after... after..." Egon wasn't sure what to call it, but that wasn't the only reason why he couldn't bring himself to say it.
Ray finished the thought for him: "After... going ghost?"
"That's one way of putting it, I suppose. I know it happened, but I still don't know how it was possible."
"That's what I've been trying to figure out. If it happened once, it could happen again." (What a comforting thought, Egon said to himself.) "What did it feel like?" Ray asked him.
Egon took a deep breath. "It felt like... like every molecule in my body was rearranged. Similar to the time my soul was sucked into the Ghost World during our attempt at a trans-dimensional portal."
"Hmm... and this time, after the destabilization was completed, it teleported you to the Ghost World again..."
"What are you getting at, Ray?"
"Maybe that's the connection. Maybe the process that creates a rip between our world and the Ghost World is similar to the process that allows solid forms to convert into ectoplasmic form." Egon agreed that made sense – why else would him turning completely into a ghost also open a temporary portal to the Ghost World? And if that happened, the chances were good it would work in reverse. "And if transferring someone from our world to the Ghost World involves the same or a similar process as someone from our world taking on the properties of ghosts, then..."
Egon finished this time: "Then that would increase the dangers of opening trans-dimensional portals between the worlds by at least a hundred fold. Anyone who used one would be at risk of being turned into a living ghost like I was."
"You think they would all destabilize at the same rate you did?"
Egon considered that for a second. "Not necessarily. It could depend on the degree and length of exposure. Exposure to more energy could, in theory, cause a more thorough transformation, allowing the body to fully accept the changes and, therefore, remain stable and continue to exist on our plane, perhaps enabling more conscious control over things like solidification and opacity. Or it could just cause grotesque mutations."
"Well, I wouldn't wish that on anyone... but I do wish there was a way to find out," Ray confessed.
"I'd like to know more about it myself." Egon picked up the book and began looking through the chapter on the various documented properties and phases of ectoplasm. "Once you accept that destabilizing of molecules causes proto-ectoplasmic conversion, it makes sense it would result in properties like intangibility and invisibility."
"That's pretty much what makes a ghost a ghost."
"There's one thing, however, that doesn't make sense." Egon closed the book; it didn't look like he'd find any answers here. "Why was I able to detect other ghosts? That seems rather random."
Ray crossed his arms and shook his head. "I have no idea. Plenty of humans claim they can sense spirits. Maybe taking on ghostly properties just made you more in-tune with your fellow spirits."
"That's a possibility," Egon admitted. "But I've never heard of other ghosts possessing a... a..."
"A ghost sense?" Ray suggested.
"Precisely. This suggests it's a trait somehow resulting from combining living matter with ectoplasm."
"Possible, but why?"
"I don't know. And I doubt we'll get the chance to study the phenomenon further..." His attempt to stave off the enormity of what he'd been through by looking at it from a purely intellectual point of view was failing. Egon hung his head and closed his eyes as memories of the past few days flooded over him without warning.
Had this happened to anyone he didn't know personally, Ray would have been bursting with excitement over the discovery of said phenomenon and want nothing more than to study it further and learn more about how it worked. As soon as he met the person it happened to, he would have begged to take blood and tissue samples and asked hundreds of questions about every specific detail of the transformation. As it was, all he could think of was how close he'd come to losing one of his best friends and hope this was the last time any of them would ever have to deal with this issue. He stood up and put his hand on his colleague's shoulder, but he didn't say anything until he felt him stop trembling. "Let's hope not."
Egon swallowed and made sure he had a firm grip on his throat before he said, "Indeed. I wouldn't want anyone else to go through this."
"Me, neither. You think anyone would believe us if we tried to warn them it was possible?"
"Not a chance. We have no proof – no ectoplasmic samples, no photographs, no video footage, nothing to prove the readings you took of me are real, nothing to corroborate such an outrageous claim." There had been no time to worry about such things – preserving evidence of the ordeal hadn't even been on their list of priorities at the time.
"Yeah, it's nothing more than a memory now." Something in Ray's tone made Egon look directly at him. He felt Ray grip his shoulder more firmly. "It's over."
The two friends stared at each other in silence for a moment before Egon sighed, "Exactly. The sooner we forget about it, the better."
"I'll never forget it," Ray said as he lowered his arm. "I can't remember the last time I was that scared."
Egon knew what he was getting at, and he was almost sorry he couldn't play along. He said in a steady monotone with (so he hoped) no hint of fear, "Thank you again for coming in after me. It was very risky."
"So?" Ray smiled weakly as he added, "Just do me a favor – don't ever do that to us again. It's a lot of pressure, trying to be you."
Egon smiled back. "You did a splendid job, Dr. Stantz. But don't worry – I have no plans to repeat the experience." That sense of panic returned, and he gripped his wrist, reassuring himself by the beat of his pulse and the touch of his solid skin and bone that it was indeed over and he was indeed back to normal. He shook off the feeling and tried to sound nonchalant when he said, "That atomic destabilizer was never good for much anyway."
"Don't worry," Ray said in a neutral tone devoid of obvious concern or tenderness that Egon wouldn't have been able to bear. "We checked you out after you came back. You're completely cured. There's no chance of a relapse."
"I know." He'd come so close, though. "But what if it ever does happen again? Not to me, but..." He shuddered to think of anyone else having their DNA mangled and turned inside out like he had.
"Come on, Egon, what are the chances of that?"
"Like you said, if it happened once... Advances are being made in the field of paranormal research every year. Who knows what future discoveries or inventions could also potentially turn a human being into a...?"
Once again, Egon, unsure how to describe it, waited for Ray to come up with an appropriate term: "A half-ghost?"
"Thank you."
"Worry about that when it happens. It might not be for another twenty years or so."
Egon couldn't argue with that; he knew it was only his paranoia talking. "I know, I just..." As usual, he couldn't go on.
And, as usual, Ray didn't ask him to. "I know. Come on, let's go to the kitchen. Aunt Lois would say we could both use some hot chocolate right now." He went to turn off the television that had been playing, ignored, in the background all this time, and as he walked towards it, Egon glanced over and noticed what was on the screen.
"Wait a minute," Egon said quickly as he joined Ray at the TV. Ray stopped with his arm still raised towards the Power button. "What is that?" The picture in the corner above the newscaster was a classroom door with the words PARANORMAL SCIENCES plastered on the glass, not unlike the door to their own lab during their days with the university.
"I don't know," Ray answered.
They got their answer shortly as the newscaster began telling his story: "Security officers at the University of Wisconsin have confirmed that there was only one injured in the explosion that occurred this afternoon. Twenty-three-year-old senior Vladimir Masters was rushed to the emergency room at St. Mary's Hospital in Madison and remains, we are told, in stable condition, although there is no official word on the exact nature of his injuries. Various witnesses who saw him being loaded into the ambulance just after the accident described him as looking like he was suffering from 'severe burns' or 'a bad allergic reaction.' University officials have opened an inquiry to determine if any breach of safety protocol led to the explosion and if anyone else is at risk. Attorneys for the school have requested the other students directly involved not discuss the incident with the public, as there is an ongoing investigation. Several students around campus, however, have confirmed that the Paranormal Studies Club was scheduled to give a presentation on what their fliers simply call a 'Ghost Portal Experiment' in the same room and at about the same time the accident took place. In other national news..."
Ray now turned it off. "Wow, they let the students play with the big toys now, huh?"
"Not good," Egon observed. "Handing out matches to a class of kindergartners would be safer. We're still years away from developing a reliable portal – who knows what they designed or what damage it could cause?" His mind briefly conjured up images of spirits pouring unchecked through an open gate and wreaking havoc, people being sucked into another dimension before the gate closed and trapped them there, and one more thing. "Ray, you don't think..."
Knowing what he was getting at, Ray quickly and firmly said, "No, I don't."
In the pause that followed, Egon privately talked some sense into himself. "You're right. I guess it... it takes a while to get your mind in order after coming back from the other side." It was the closest he'd come to admitting how much the incident had unsettled him.
He was surprised to hear Ray say, "Good," with an encouraging smile. "Feeling like that's a sign that you're definitely human." He left before Egon could deny anything.
Egon never thought the day would come when he would be glad to be vulnerable to base, human emotions, but, as they said, there was a first time for everything.
He deeply hoped, however, that this was the last time he or anyone would have to go through the ordeal of becoming half-ghost...