I own neither Nick Duval or Jeff Sterling or Glee. I wish I did.
Jeff sighed and closed his locker. Another shitty day had gone by, and now he had to go back home where everything was even more messed up. His dad had his expectations for his only son, and most of the time Jeff couldn't live up to it. His mom had died two years ago; she wasn't there to keep the peace anymore. He was tired a lot from fighting with his dad.
It was just Jeff and his dad. And it was so screwed up.
"Hey, fag."
Jeff stiffened and turned. He hadn't come out, but people assumed because he didn't have a girlfriend and liked to dance that he was gay. The slurs were common, especially from them.
Them. His tormenters. The Warblers: Wesley Montgomery, David Thompson, Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Thad Harwood, and Nick Duval.
When it came to Nick, Jeff got a bit weak at the knees, but he would never admit it. Because Nick was beautiful. Long brunette hair. Chocolate brown eyes. A muscular athlete's body. Yes, Nick was beautiful. And not to mention gay. However, he was the one who started the Warblers in the first place, so they couldn't torment Nick.
He was so hypocritical. But Jeff admired him anyway because of the way he was so comfortable in his own skin.
"Hello, boys." Jeff tried being civil. He really did. Kill them with kindness.
"You mocking us?" Blaine asked, crossing his arms. He was more of the wannabe of the group, he and Kurt. They were the newest ones.
"He's a homo, it's all he knows," Wes said, evoking laughter from the group. Yes, Jeff tried to kill them with kindness, but they killed him in general.
"I'm not gay," Jeff said coolly. It wasn't the first time he'd denied it. "Blondes just aren't attractive here."
"You're so lying," Kurt said. "It's obvious on your face."
"Oh yeah? How would you know?" Jeff shot back. "It takes one to know one."
Kurt stiffened and Blaine threw him a glance. Nick, who had been unusually silent today, turned to Kurt slowly.
"Is that true, Hummel?"
"No, I don't-I'm not-I'm straight!" Kurt protested, flustered. "I'm dating Brittany, remember? I'm with her."
"That's three denials in one sentence. You look scared, Hummel. You sure you aren't a fag like him?" Nick gestured to Jeff. "Sure you aren't fuck buddies?"
"Positive. I'm not an idiot. Guys belong with girls, fags belong in hell," Kurt recited.
What a load of shit, Jeff thought. Kurt is so gay. And it looks like he and Blaine are the fuck buddies here.
"Good." Nick turned to Jeff. "So, Sterling, what'll it be today? Swirlie, dumpster, noogie, or the usual beating?"
"Dumpster, please."
Jeff knew there was no way to get out of it, so he picked the least painful.
"What's that? Usual beating it is? Oh, alright, if you insist."
Nick lunged forward, socking Jeff in the stomach. Jeff keeled over. "Like that, fag? Is that what you want?"
"Why me?" Jeff wheezed out.
"Because you're obviously the biggest faggot in this school."
"You deserve to die."
"No one will ever love you."
"Go to hell."
With every word, Nick hit Jeff, kicked him, shoved him, and finally got Jeff crumpled on the ground.
"How'd that feel, fag?" Nick whispered hotly in Jeff's ear, pulling the blonde up by the collar of his shirt. "Did you like that? Huh?"
"You're such…you're a…hypocrite." Jeff nearly passed out on the floor. Today had been the worst beating he'd gotten thus far.
"Excuse me?"
"You're just like me," Jeff whispered. "If they were beating up every person believed to be gay, then you'd be in my spot right now. Maybe even worse. And you're scared. You're scared that one day, you will be here. You'll be on the ground, nearly bleeding to death in the worst years of your life, and no one will care. No one will stop and think, poor Nick Duval, on the ground, I should help him. No one will think that, because they know that you don't give a fuck if someone helps you. You'd rather die than admit to yourself and anyone else that you are just like me. You are…you're a hypocrite, Nick Duval. And you'll die a hypocrite."
Jeff didn't know where that had come from, but he liked it. It felt nice to tell Nick exactly what he was thinking every time he felt a vessel burst from the contacts of Nick's fists.
"And by the way-screw you."
With that, Jeff lost consciousness. His head slumped over, blood trickling down his nearly invisible eyebrows.
Nick stood up, shaken to the core. This kid, this boy who hadn't even admitted that he was gay, knew exactly what Nick was about. And that scared Nick more than the prospect of Wes and David and the rest turning on him for liking boys.
And then there was the fact that Jeff looked so vulnerable when he said it. Like he actually believed it.
"Yo, Duval. You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, Montgomery. Why'd you think I wouldn't be?"
"You're kinda pale." Thad shrugged. "What'd the fag say?"
"You implying-" Nick grabbed Thad's shirt and shoved him towards the lockers. "-that I'm weak?" Nick demanded, avoiding the question completely.
"N-n-no, Nick. N-not at a-a-all." Thad was shaking in his boots.
"Good. Now, let-wait," Nick said after a moment of hesitation. "Should we take him to the nurse or something?"
"Going soft, Duval? Never thought I'd see the day."
"No, I just…never mind. Let's go."
The rest of the boys shrugged and followed Blaine, who was closest to the exit. Nick lagged behind, looking at Jeff's crumpled figure. He felt bad just leaving the boy there. He was obviously unconscious, and this was the first time that had happened. Nick didn't want to kill Jeff, or even seriously injure him-only harm him to the point that he would want to transfer.
Throwing one last glance at the boys going through the door at the end of the hall, Nick scooped Jeff up and took him to the nurse. The room was empty, so Nick laid the blonde down on the sick cot and exited quickly so as not to be seen.
Once outside, the boys looked at him.
"Where you been, Duval?" David questioned.
"Just a few last minute touch ups," Nick lied. The boys took the answer without a doubt, but an unfamiliar feeling pooled in Nick's stomach at how they wanted to just leave Jeff there.
Guys belong with girls, and fags belong in hell.
It was cruel, and Jeff had been right-Nick was a hypocrite. One of the most basic kind.
Jeff didn't show at school on Wednesday or Thursday, and by Friday, Nick was sure Jeff had transferred. But that lazy Friday morning in homeroom, as Nick sat on Blaine's desk and watched Kurt suck Brittany's face off, a familiar streak of blonde raced into the room, effectively running into Wes and David.
"Watch where you're going, fag."
"Thought you'd be a no-show. Do you need another lesson?" David cracked his knuckles.
Jeff shook his head mutely and moved to his seat next to Blaine. Nick looked at Jeff closely. There were bruises starting to form on his wrists and forearms, and he had a poorly-concealed black eye. By the way he was walking, something was wrong with either his left leg or left foot, and he seemed tired. Every breath seemed to take a lot of work-or, Nick imagined wryly, he had bruises on his chest, too. Maybe even both.
Fuck, Nick thought. I wonder what happened.
He would have just asked, but they weren't friends, and it wasn't his problem.
First period-math. Nick sighed. He hated math with a burning passion of a fiery thousand suns.
But it was slightly more bearable today. Jeff sat next to Nick, and it wasn't uncommon for the students to exchange notes in class. Just not those two.
Did I do that to you? Nick wrote carefully before folding it and tossing it onto Jeff's paper. Jeff looked up, terror in his eyes, but Nick kept looking straight ahead, no smirk on his face.
Nick heard the blonde laugh quietly at the note, then the note was back on his desk.
Why do you care?
Nick smiled discreetly before responding.
I didn't mean to hurt you like that. I was just feeling…angrier than usual that day.
Oh? Why?
Did I do that to you? You never answered my question.
No.
Nick bit the inside of his cheek at Jeff's blunt answer.
Who did?
None of your fucking business, Duval. Going soft, I see.
No, I just
I'm not going
Nick sighed, frustrated.
Why the hell does everyone ask that? Look, Sterling, I just wanted to know. Is that so hard to understand?
Yeah, it is. You hate me, Nick.
But you don't.
It was a few minutes before the note landed back on Nick's desk.
What makes you say that?
Nobody else would know exactly what I was thinking that day. You did. And that leads me to believe that you don't hate me. Not completely, that is. I know I'm an asshole, but
"Taking notes today, Mr. Duval? I'm surprised," the teacher called.
Nick shrugged. "I do the work. Sometimes. And I plan to tonight. Need notes for that so I'm not lost."
"Good. Now, class, back to acute triangles…"
Picking up where he left off, he continued writing.
somehow, you still managed to put me on the spot like that. Jeff, I'm sorry, but being mean and taking out anger on other people is just what I do. And from one gay to another, I'm so fucking sorry.
Jeff swallowed as he read the note. Nick hadn't insulted him once in the mini paragraph-in fact, he'd apologized. Twice.
It…it's okay. I forgive you.
You shouldn't.
Wow, someone's in a good mood today.
Who did that to you?
Jeff hesitated, pen just barely touching the paper, before deciding against giving the note back. He wrote the answer anyway, but when the bell rang, he shredded it and threw it in the trash, not looking back as he went to French II.
Nick sighed as Jeff walked away. Nick was tempted to skip. Jeff obviously didn't want to tell Nick who hurt the blonde, so what was the point of even sticking around?
Oh yeah. He had the Warblers to deal with.
Swimming in P.E. was always the worst part of school, Nick decided. Everyone was wearing their Speedos, so their junk was plain to see as they changed, then only barely covered up. And none of them had shirts on. Yes, swimming was terrible.
Especially for the gay ones.
Nick sighed and discreetly looked at some of the boys. Some were toned-in fact, most were. Strong shoulders, toned abs, and nice, nice tans. Nick was sure that the teachers were testing him, seeing how long he could hold out before he jumped one of his classmates.
"Hey Duval, you trying to check out our junk?" Karofsky demanded, slipping a shirt on.
"Not yours. No one would," Nick shot back. "There isn't any to look at anyway." It had been a few weeks since the incident with Jeff and the nurse, and they hadn't really seen him since. Since there was no one to beat, Nick was feeling snarkier than usual.
The boys roared in laughter and Blaine bumped Nick's shoulder.
"What the hell?"
"The most action you've got is at night in your bed alone," Nick laughed.
The entire room exploded in laughter. Nick pulled his shirt on and motioned to the Warblers. "Come on, we're leaving."
Jeff, who had hidden behind the lockers to avoid Nick and the others, laughed silently to himself as well. Nick may be a fucking asshole, but it doesn't mean he can't be funny.
Twelve and a half minutes later exactly, Jeff was running from the school to his car, just wanting to drive a while. But something made him stop.
A broken cry for help.
"Hey-stop! Please!"
Jeff turned. The sight before him made his stomach drop in an uneasy way.
Nick was curled on the ground in a fetal position next to the dumpster while Wes screamed profanities at him and David pounded the brunette into the ground with his fists and feet-at the same time.
"Nick," Jeff whispered timidly.
Almost as if he had heard the blonde, Nick looked up, terror plain in his eyes.
"JEFF!"
"Aw, calling to your fuck buddy?" Wes laughed cruelly as David kicked Nick one last time. "How adorable," the Asian spat. "Come on, David, let's go. Don't wanna catch the homo bug."
They walked away.
Nick, meanwhile, was in terrible pain. He was sure to be completely black and blue tomorrow on every surface of his body.
Jeff ran over to the broken brunette. "Nick-"
"It hurts," Nick whispered. "It hurts so much."
Jeff was almost tempted to say "I told you so!" but stopped himself as Nick started coughing his lungs out.
"Nick, it's gonna be okay, alright? Come on, up you go." Jeff started to reach for Nick, but Nick shook his head.
"No…please…hurts too much. Call my…get my phone. Mom is on…on speed dial."
Jeff frowned. "Nick, I don't know where your phone is."
"Front…front pocket. To the left."
Jeff carefully put his hand in Nick's front left skinny jean pocket. Nick coughed some more.
"It's out of battery."
"Damn it."
Nick attempted to sit up, but was obviously too weak to. He put his hand to his mouth and coughed again. When he pulled it away, it was bright red.
Jeff's stomach churned. Sure, his own blood he was okay with, but when it came to other people's it was a different story.
"Nick, do you trust me?"
He didn't know what made him ask it, just that he didn't want to scare Nick with what he was about to do.
"I…what?"
"Do you trust me?"
Nick coughed up more blood, some splattering on Jeff's shirt. The blonde unconsciously flinched.
"If…if you'll help me, plea-" Nick went into another round of coughing. "Please," he finished weakly. "Please help me."
Jeff nodded and picked Nick up bridal style.
Nick's stomach lurched. "What-"
"I'm going to take you to the hospital. This is really bad if you're coughing up blood."
Nick's head was hazy, so all that he heard was "hospital" and "coughing" and "blood".
"Blood," he whispered.
Jeff's arms tightened around Nick. This was scary. Even he, who had always been attacked and shoved and kicked and punched and the lot, had never been hurt this badly. Nick was obviously delusional, or nearly unconscious at the very least. This really was bad.
"Jeff…" Nick moaned when Jeff set him in the backseat. His hands grabbed at Jeff's shirt. "Don't leave me…"
"I'm just going to be up front."
"NO!"
"Nick, let go."
"Please don't leave me!"
"I'm not!"
"Jeff…"
Jeff looked at Nick sadly. The brunette obviously needed somebody to hold, but everyone else had gone and those two were the only ones in the parking lot.
"Jeff, please. I need-"
Nick started coughing again. Jeff panicked and grabbed the towel hanging over the front seat, holding it up to Nick's mouth.
"Here, use this."
Nick smiled gratefully. "Thanks."
"Sure. Now Nick, I'm going to go sit up front-"
"Can I come?"
"No, you need to stay back here where you can lie down."
"But I feel safer when I'm with you."
Jeff froze. Nick pulled Jeff's arm so that Jeff was sitting next to him. "Jeffie, please stay."
"You're-you're delusional, you don't know what you're saying."
"No, I know what I'm saying. I want you to stay with me, please." Nick coughed once more into the towel. "If I'm going to die, I want to die with someone who understands what I'm going through."
Suddenly, everything clicked for Jeff. Why Nick was acting so normal. Why he was being clingy. Why he was snuggling up next to Jeff at the moment, smiling softly and handing back the towel.
Nick thought he was going to die.
"Thanks for helping me after all I did to you."
"Nick Duval, you are not going to die. Let me go-we're going to the hospital."
"Jeffie, don't lie to yourself. I'm going to die."
Jeff unpeeled himself from Nick. "Not if I have anything to say about it."
As Jeff got in the drivers seat, Nick sighed mentally. He really did feel fine (well, not fine, but better than earlier), but he was disappointed. Disappointed because he couldn't fight off his friends. Disappointed because he was letting his true rainbow show and his badass façade crack. And mainly disappointed because Jeff didn't want to snuggle while he slowly bled to death.
Nick was past lying to himself. Jeff was attractive. Maybe it was because Jeff was the only other gay guy Nick knew, but maybe Nick really liked Jeff.
Either way, Nick wanted to die in Jeff's arms.
If Jeff knew what Nick was thinking, he'd blame it on the loss of blood. But Jeff didn't know what Nick was thinking, so Nick was entitled to think that maybe he was starting to fall for Jeff.
Wait, Nick thought. Get a hold of yourself. Think about what you're thinking. There's no way you'd fall for a fag.
Then who else would you fall for? Nick had mental conversations with himself a lot. He'd go crazy, otherwise. He wasn't crazy now, though. Somehow (fate or not), the rational side was named Jeff.
A nice, pretty girl who will make me grilled cheese whenever I want it. And give me easy sex.
You're delusional. Like the Real Jeff said.
Oh?
You are a…for lack of a better word…fag. Ugh, shudder. I hate using that word. But you are. You're gay and you've known for a while. So you may end up with a girl, but you'll never love her. You can only fake it. Your heart will always lie with a boy.
Shut up.
Suddenly, Nick found himself in Jeff's arms and heading towards the front door of the hospital.
See? Real Jeff is a good candidate. He's tall, strong, blonde, and super sweet. He'd be the perfect boyfriend, Mental Jeff chided.
Again, I will repeat, SHUT. UP.
Jeff looked down at Nick, who was mouthing words to himself every once in a while. Jeff smiled. It was kinda cute.
"How may I-oh, dear," the lady at the front desk said when she saw the blonde and the brunette coming. "What happened?"
"He was beaten by…by some muggers, I think. He's losing a lot of blood. Can we get a-"
"Yes, of course." She pressed a little button and said, "Can I have an emergency team to the front lobby ASAP?"
Jeff watched in a daze as the paramedics came and put Nick on a stretcher.
"Jeffie!" Nick called, reaching for the blonde.
Jeff smiled and squeezed Nick's hand. "I'll be here, okay? I'll wait for you."
"Okay," Nick said in a small voice. "Okay. Wait for me."
"I will, okay? Go with the nice men now."
"Okay."
He almost reminded Jeff of a small child.
Jeff pulled out his phone and texted his mom that he wouldn't be coming home tonight. Then he sat down to wait out a very long night.