Until The Day Bella Died. A Songfic.
JPOV
He pushed her dead heart faster than I had.
"She's not dead," he growled "She's going to be fine."
I wasn't sure he was talking to me anymore.
Turning away, leaving him with his dead, I walked slowly to the door. So slowly. I couldn't make my feet move any faster.
This was it, then. The ocean of pain. The other shore so far away across the boiling water that I couldn't imagine it, much less see it. I felt empty again, now that I'd lost my purpose. Saving Bella had been my fight for so long now. And she wouldn't be saved. She'd willingly sacrificed herself to be torn apart by that monster's young, and so the fight was lost. It was all over.
I shuddered at the sound coming from behind me as I plodded down the stairs—the sound of a dead heart being forced to thud. I wanted to somehow pour bleach inside my head and let it fry my brain. To burn away the images left from Bella's final minutes. I'd take the brain damage if I could get rid of that—the screaming, the bleeding, the unbearable crunching and snapping as the newborn monster tore through her from the inside out….
I wanted to sprint away, to take the stairs ten at a time and race out the door, but my feet were heavy as iron and my body was more tired than it had ever been before. I shuffled down the stairs like a crippled old man. I rested at the bottom step, gathering my strength to get out the door. (Breaking Dawn Pg 356)
I put my head in my hands and sighed as an ocean of pain and sadness washed over me. I could hear that bloodsucker making her dead heart beat. I pushed that sound away and tried to focus on other things.
Until the day I die
Images of Bella's cold, lifeless body filled my head. Her lifeless eyes staring into nothingness, blood stained her clothes; her mouth was the color of ruby red. I remember begging her to stay with me, even though I knew it was hopeless. I shook my head and tried to think about something else. I didn't want to think about her lying on that table, lifeless and cold.
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
I smiled slightly as I remembered Valentines Day. I made her my slave for the day because she didn't get me a fifty cent box of chocolates. That was when Edward left her. After he left I was the one to bring her back to life. If only I could do that now… I sighed and continued watching her in that memory. Her smile didn't reach her eyes but I loved it. Her milk chocolate eyes were my favorite part about her. And when she blushed I always thought it was the best thing in the world.
Until the day I die
I started to sob silently as I realized that she'll never blush again. She'll never call me Jake again. She'll never ride motorcycles with me again. She won't ever kiss me again. I sighed again when I heard Seth outside. He was checking up on thing. I motioned my hand for him to go away and I heard him start running. Probably to tell Leah the good news. Leah hated Bella, and the leeches.
I'll spill my heart for you
I decided to think about all of my times with Bella. My smile grew a little as I remembered her first time on her motorcycle. I was so happy when she asked me to fix the bikes. The more time with Bella the better. I was teaching her how to use the clutch. My big russet colored hand was on top of her pale white one and my heart was pounding. It felt great touching her hand. My smile faded when Bella vanished and the bike fell. She was gone.
As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
She was gone forever. Knowing Bella she was probably sitting outside of Heaven waiting for a husband and a child that would never show. I sobbed harder as I pictured her standing outside those pearly gates with a white v-neck dress on and the most beautiful wings on her back. If only she knew that I would be joining her soon.
You know that I'd die to
I'd die to
Death seemed to be the only option for me now. And knowing that I'd see Bella again made my heart swell. I loved her. She was my first and only love. I didn't think I could love anyone else. It just didn't seem possible. When I got Seth and Leah home I was going to travel north and find some hole to die in. The pain and sadness was overwhelming. I had to escape it but I didn't know what other options I had besides death. That's when I realized their was another option…murder.
You remind me of the times when I know who I was
I pictured Bella holding my hand and smiling as we watched the sunset on the beach. If werewolves and vampires didn't exist then we would've been, could've been sitting at First Beach right now watching the sunset. I had only been sitting on this step for at least fifteen minutes and already I missed her like crazy. I wasn't able to be myself without her. Without her I'd end up like Sam, grouchy and full of pain. Of course that was Sam before he found Emily. But it didn't matter. Without Bella I was nothing.
But still the second hand will catch us like it always does
Suddenly the alive, smiling Bella that I was sitting next to was replaced with the cold, lifeless, dead Bella that I had just seen upstairs. I started too panicked as I screamed her name and started CPR. I pounded on her chest, forcing her dead heart to beat. It was the only sound I could hear. What do I look like the wizard of oz? You need a brain, you need a heart, go ahead, take mine, take everything I have! I shouted at her. Then she vanished again.
We'll make the same mistakes.
No. Loving Bella was not a mistake. In fact it was the best thing in my life and now she was gone. The only mistake I made was handing her over to that filthy bloodsucker. Edward was to blame for her death…no not just Edward. That thing in Blondie's arms was to blame as well.
I'll take the fall for you
I sobbed harder as I let may anger get the better of my emotions. I should've tried harder to save her. I should've tried harder to show her that I was the one she should be with. If she was with me, she'd be alive and human. Hell we could've had kids if she really wanted a little Renesmee so badly! I clenched my hands into fists as I pictured a little russet skin colored girl with long jet black hair and milk chocolate eyes.
I hope you need this now. Cause I know I still do
She needs to know that I still love her. That she is the only person I will ever love.
Until the die I die (Until the day I die)
I decided sitting here moping wasn't going to do any good. So I stood up and stared at the back of Blondie's head. I had it all planned out and I did it fast enough so that way Edward won't have time to stop me. I was going to join Bella in heaven but first I was going to avenge her death by killing the little murderer in Rosalie's arms.
I'll spill my heart for you
I glared at the back of Rosalie's head and growled silently. I made sure to keep my mind blank so Edward wouldn't know what I was up to. I could still hear him panting and Bella's dead heart still being forced to beat. That was a good thing. If I heard him stop at any moment during my attack I was dead.
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I knew that I was going to die today. I didn't know how but I knew that I wouldn't care how or who killed me I just wanted someone to do it. The sooner I could be with Bella, the sooner I could tell her I stilled loved her.
I'll spill my heart for you
I got into my hunting crouch and let my animal instincts take over as I let the fire in my body build. Images of Bella's cold, lifeless body filled my head, along with rage.
Should I bite my tongue
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much
I stopped for a second and thought about the venom I saw Edward inject into her body. Maybe it worked. I listened for a second and heard his teeth sinking into her cold skin. Her heart still wasn't beating. He was injecting more venom into her. The whole family was, except for the blonde. The only little bit of hope that I had was gone. The ocean of pain and sadness hitting me again, drowning me. I felt like I was drowning. I couldn't breathe and the only thing I saw was the color red. That's when the rage filled my body and sent my blood boiling. I phased and growled only loud enough for Rosalie to hear. Seth and Leah growled with me in my head and begged me not to do what I was about to do. Kill them both. Rosalie's body stiffened and she hissed. I growled again, keeping my voice down as I listened in again on the family upstairs. They were still injecting venom into Bella. I heard three of them jump out the window and run into the forest, probably to go hunt. I saw Rosalie start to panic a little when she heard them leave. This was my chance.
My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you
I advanced towards her a little and she snarled. The blonde then put the sleeping murderer in a crib she had set up and took a defensive crouch in front of it. I lunged at her then and sunk my teeth into her marble skin. I teared her to pieces bit by bit. I started first with tearing her head off. Then I went for her arms. And last but not least, her legs. Once she was in pieces I dragged them over to a corner and turned my back on the once proud Rosalie.
But still we'll say remember when just like we always do. Just like we always do
I slowly made my way towards the crib as I listened in on what was happening up stairs. It sounded like another vampire jumped out the window while Edward was pounding on Bella's chest again. That's when I heard someone coming down the stairs.
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
I quickly ran over to the crib and grabbed the sleeping murderer with my mouth. Before I turned around I heard the vampire snarl and start to move towards me that when I snarled and turned showing him that I had the upper hand. The vampire who came down the stairs was Carlisle and he was putting the blonde back together again.
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you
While Carlisle put the blonde back together images of Bella's cold, dead body covered in blood filled my mind and I quickly bit down on the infant's neck, snapping it in two. Carlisle gasped as the others walked in. Esme and Alice started to cry while Emmett helped Carlisle put his wife back together. Jasper was the one I was watching. His eyes were like mine. They were full of rage and despair. Carlisle yelled for Edward and that's when my rage hit the boiling point. Both Jasper and I charged at Carlisle at the same time. Carlisle dodged my attack but got tackled by Jasper instead. They both went crashing to the floor and I ran back over to the dead infant and snarled at everyone. Letting them know that this dead body was mine and they couldn't have it.
My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes, Mistakes like friends do
My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you
We made the same mistaaakes
They all growled at me as I looked down at the murderer's face for the first time. I realized her eyes were open. She must have done that when she was in my mouth. And what surprised me the most was that they were the same exact color as Bella's had been. At that moment I swore the world stopped spinning and I felt as light as a feather. The only thing holding me to the ground was the lifeless little girl on the floor.
Renesmee
That's when I realized I imprinted. That's when I realized I killed my imprint. That's when I realized I wasn't madly in love with Bella anymore. I started to sob and a howl was heard through out the house. After three hours of everyone sobbing we heard a gasp and stared towards the room Carlisle had walked out of. A few seconds passed and then Edward and what looked like Bella walked down the stairs hand in hand.
Until the day I die
I spill my heart for you, for you
I looked into Bella's crimson eyes and whimpered. The girl I thought was dead wasn't anymore. Now she was a vampire. The girl I did love with all of my being was dead though and I couldn't take it anymore. I whimpered loud enough for only Edward to hear and I ran out of the house towards the forest.
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
When I finally made it home I was relieved that my father wasn't here. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the biggest steak knife I could find.
"Goodbye Bella, Hello Renesmee." I said as I cut my throat.
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
Until the day I die!!