Parent Child Bonding (minus the children)
Percy Jackson series are owned by Rick Riordan who I am not.
So this is another reading the series story, the Gods come from right before Thalia gets turned into a tree.
Ch.1 Intro and IAVMPAT
It was just your typical family gathering on Olympus, the sky was blue, the grass green, and the sound of pointless bickering filled the air.
Hades: I am the eldest and therefore strongest.
Zeus: I am the King so I am the strongest.
Poseidon: Everyone knows the middle child is the best, the kinks are worked out yet the material is still good.
Hermes: though I hate to break up this little pow-wow, package for you.
Zeus: let's see here, ooh a note.
Dear Gods and Goddesses,
I bring you five books from the future about Percy Jackson A demi-god, you will read these books with all the Olympians and the spouses of the Big Three present as well as Triton.
Love,
Mother Rhea
Hades: I'll call Persephone
Poseidon: I'll go and get Amphitrite and Triton
Once everyone had arrived Zeus took the first book and read the title
Percy Jackson: The Lightening Thief
Poseidon: My son
"I Accidentally Vaporize my Pre-Algebra Teacher,"
Ares: YES ACTION
"Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood.
Dionysus: Great another brat for me to watch over
Hestia and Artemis glared at him while Poseidon struggled not to.
If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is:
close this book right now. Believe what ever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to lead a normal life.
Hera: yes do that and hopefully you'll die you little bastard {note she means the actual definition of bastard as in the child of unmarried parents.}
Everyone even the fellow demi-god haters inched away from her.
Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.
Hera again started looking slightly crazy and needless to say everyone was starting to get worried.
If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened. But if you recognize yourself in these pages —if you feel something stirring inside—stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you.
Hermes: this kid is rather morbid, probably your kid Uncle Hades
Persephone: he had better not be
Hades: of course not dear
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Ares, Apollo, and Hermes: you didn't warn us
Artemis and Athena just rolled their eyes at the trio.
My name is Percy Jackson. I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York. Am I a troubled kid? Yeah. You could say that.
Demeter: this boy should eat more cereal and the problems will go away
I could start at any point in my short, miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan— twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.
Athena: a perfectly good field trip
Poseidon and Triton thought otherwise.
I know—it sounds like torture.
The aforementioned Gods as well as the trio smiled.
Most Yancy field trips were.
But Mr. Brunner, out Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.
Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee.
Dionysus: Wait a second that's Chiron
Hades: and if that's Chiron then that means one of you two broke the oath… again
Poseidon and Zeus suddenly got a lot of stares pointed their way.
Zeus: He is not mine, I only had Thalia.
Amphitrite: POSEIDON, how dare you, am I not good enough for you, how dare you have another affair with a mortal.
Poseidon: Amphitrite you are my queen and Triton is my heir nothing will change that, however it is in my nature to do this but I do apologize for causing you pain.
Amphitrite: fine we'll discuss this later, but I will be keeping an eye on the boy to make sure he remembers his place.
Triton: I will also be doing that father, though I will also try to make sure he doesn't die by mother's hand.
While some would be surprised at this Triton knew his place was secure as his father's lieutenant and that no demi-god could ever take it and so while he generally disliked his half siblings, he was able to tolerate them for his father's sake, besides this could only score him more brownie points with his father.
Zeus: How dare you Poseidon father another hero against our oath I have half a mind to blast him to bits right now- but he was cut off by Hades
Hades: oh put a sock in it brother you had one too, I myself am going to wait until the end of this book to see whether I will give him the same treatment as Thalia.
Poseidon: Neither of you will harm any of my children, or you will face my full wrath, that is a promise.
You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.
Athena: yep definitely Seaweed brains kid
Triton and Poseidon: HEY
I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.
Hades: not if future me has anything to do about it.
Poseidon glared at his brother
Boy, was I wrong.
See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway.
Ares: I'm definitely enjoying this demi-god.
And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim.
Triton: I might just keep an eye on him solely for entertainment purposes.
And the time before that… Well, you get the idea.
This trip, I was determined to be good.
All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.
Aphrodite: that's disgusting.
Artemis: for once we agree
They both shuddered at that.
Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled.
Dionysus: Ah yes Grover is the satyr accompanying Maya, Larry, and Annalise.
The three parents of "Maya, Larry and Annalise" just glared at Dionysus.
He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.
Everyone had to laugh at that.
Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation.
Athena: what a shocker
Poseidon: just what do you mean by that Owl Head?
Athena: oh nothing.
The headmaster had threatened me with death by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.
Hermes: drat
"I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.
Ares: yes do it.
Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."
He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.
"That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.
Ares: stupid satyr.
"You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."
Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there.
In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.
Hades whistled innocently.
Mr. Brunner led the museum tour.
He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.
It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.
Athena: at least your son seems to have an appreciation for art.
He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, astele,for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye.
Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.
Hades: Ah Alecto, wait if that's Alecto, I better be ready for a very angry Poseidon.
From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn.
Athena: no he's just a sea spawn.
Zeus: which is just as bad really.
Hades and Poseidon: HEY
She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.
One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right."
Poseidon: Hades, what monster is that?
Hades: um Alecto I think
Poseidon: YOUSENT A FURY AFTER MY SON.
Zeus: calm down brother.
Poseidon grumbled but sat back down.
Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art.
Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will youshut up?"
Athena: Thank you, finally someone says it.
It came out louder than I meant it to.
The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story.
"Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"
My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir."
Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?
I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"
Hestia, Hades, Demeter, Poseidon, and Hera all shuddered.
Hades: we had a horrible childhood.
Demeter: We had no cereal.
Poseidon: only good thing Zeus ever did was get us out of there.
Zeus: HEY.
"Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied.
"And hedidthis because ..."
Poseidon: because he was a paranoid nutcase.
"Well..." I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god,
and—"
Athena: GOD, Poseidon your child is an idiot.
Poseidon: Athena shut up about my son.
Demeter: he would know more if he ate cereal.
Hades: SHUT UP ABOUT THE CEREAL WOMAN.
"god?" Mr. Brunner asked.
"Titan," I corrected myself.
Poseidon: see he knew it.
Athena: humph.
"And ... he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead.
Apollo: seriously how do you mistake your son for a rock.
Hermes: nobody ever said granddad was smart.
Hades: mother always liked you best.
And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters—"
"Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me.
Hera: try actually being there then you can complain.
"—and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."
Apollo: of course we won.
Hermes: we are awesome
Artemis: idiots.
Some snickers from the group.
Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"
Hermes: just for that I'm going to make a dummy company, have her apply and ask that very question.
"And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"
"Busted," Grover muttered.
"Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.
At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.
Hestia: actually nephew he has horse hearing.
I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir."
Athena: doesn't surprise me.
Poseidon just glared at her.
"I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"
The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses.
Artemis: like they always do.
Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson."
I knew that was coming.
I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?"
Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go— intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything.
"You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me.
"About the Titans?"
"About real life. And how your studies apply to it."
"Oh."
"What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson."
Poseidon: well he does come from the best godly parent.
Zeus and Hades looked like they disagreed but they decided not to after seeing their wives glaring at them.
I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.
Athena: that's how you learn child.
I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!'" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had everlived,and their mother, and what god they worshiped.
But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C— in my life. No—he didn't expect me to beas good;he expected me to bebetter.And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.
I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral.
Persephone: he probably was.
He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.
The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.
Triton: what an exciting view.
Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city.
Everyone looked at Zeus who just shrugged.
I figured maybe it was global warming or something,
Triton: No brother it is called the temper of Uncle Zeus, much more dangerous
because the weather all across New York State had been weird since Christmas.
We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.
Now everyone stared at Poseidon as well who like his brother just shrugged.
Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.
Hades: note to self; teach Alecto to be less nepotistic.
Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were fromthatschool—the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.
"Detention?" Grover asked.
"Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean—I'm not a genius."
Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?"
Apollo: such a deep thinker.
Artemis: you're one to talk.
I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.
I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home.
She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.
Demeter: aw
Hera: why can't you and Ares be like that Hephaestus?
Hephaestus: you threw me off a cliff as a baby.
Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized cafe table. I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends―I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists―and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.
Dionysus: Stop being jerks to my employees, that's my job.
Apollo: Ah you do care about the satyr.
Dionysus: Apollo, shut up.
"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.
Aphrodite just grimaced at the description.
I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.
Poseidon, Triton, and even Amphitrite smirked at this, all thinking the same thing
Now she's going to get it.
"I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"
Olympus broke out in laughter at that.
Hermes: Uncle your son is awesome.
Triton smirked; with a bit of work on the finesse his half-brother might just prove useful and actually competent at something other than metal working and using brute strength like some of their other half-brothers cough Cyclopes cough.
Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.
Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see―"
"―the water―"
"―like it grabbed her―"
This time it was Poseidon who was impressed, most often his demi-god children's powers were as subtle and as fine as a sledge hammer and while Percy could only do this when angered it seemed right now, he was definitely a natural.
I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.
As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester.
Hades: she most likely was nephew.
"Now, honey―"
"I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."
Hermes winced: never try and guess your punishment.
That wasn't the right thing to say.
Athena: you think kelp for brains.
"Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said.
"Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her."
I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death.
She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.
"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.
"But―"
"You―will―stay―here."
Grover looked at me desperately.
"It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."
"Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "Now."
Nancy Bobofit smirked.
I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare.
Ares approvingly: every warrior should have one.
Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.
How'd she get there so fast?
Hades: she drinks her juice and does plenty of push-ups.
I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.
I wasn't so sure.
Athena: well you aren't totally hopeless
I went after Mrs. Dodds.
Athena: I stand corrected.
Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel.
Poseidon: because a stupid book is more important than my son's safety.
Athena: glad you understand uncle.
Poseidon gave Athena a glare that promised retribution very soon.
I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.
Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.
Hades: actually she's going to tear you into tiny pieces, or deliver you straight to me, most likely the latter.
Hermes: um what exactly do you do with them if she takes them straight to you?
Hades: it depends on what mood I'm in though I already have some ideas for children of either Poseidon or Zeus. For example if I get my hands on Thalia, I'm encasing most of her in rubber. {note- no this is not alluding to anything sexual, it merely is because Thalia can make electrical bolts, Hades is not going to do anything like that.} or for young Perseus I'll have a water proof container, in a big metal box.
Zeus: well moving on from Hades' mildly creepy prisons.
But apparently that wasn't the plan.
I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.
Except for us, the gallery was empty.
Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.
Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds.
Poseidon was now tapping his foot nervously, while Hades was sending fleeting looks at the exit.
Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it...
"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.
Athena: wait if the book is called the lightning thief and Zeus is angry then…
Zeus: SOMEONE STOLE MY MASTER BOLT, WHEN I FIND OUT WHO I SWEAR THEY WILL PAY MOST DEARLY FOR THIS.
He glared around the room and everyone besides Poseidon and Hades started looking rather nervous.
Poseidon: but why would Hades send a Fury after someone he thought stole Zeus's master bolt.
Hades: don't know, maybe we would find out if we kept reading.
I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am."
Triton: no you idiot the safest thing you could do is get the hell out of there.
Triton was somewhat disturbed that he felt something akin to fear for his half-brother as they read this part.
She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"
Zeus: much as I hate to admit it he probably didn't steal my bolt.
Poseidon: thank you brother.
The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.
She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.
Poseidon: since she's your uncle's chief torturer, yes she is.
Hades: yeah pretty much, though look at it this way I probably told her not to kill him yet.
Zeus: then why are they trying to kill Thalia.
Hades: I like Poseidon more than you.
I said, "I'll―I'll try harder, ma'am."
Thunder shook the building.
"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."
Ares: no fight like a man and kick Fury ass.
He backed down however when he saw Hades glaring at him.
I didn't know what she was talking about. All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room.
Hermes: Ah just like his wonderful older cousin
Poseidon: he'd better not be like you.
Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.
Athena: Humph, how will you learn then.
"Well?" she demanded.
"Ma'am, I don't..."
"Your time is up," she hissed.
Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.
Poseidon: HADES, if he dies I'll kill you.
Hades just looked as though he wanted to run out the door now.
Then things got even stranger.
Triton: and just how is that?
Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.
Poseidon then went from being nearly hysterical to smirking in an I know something you don't know way, this only made Hades more fearful for his life.
"What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.
Ares: a pen, what's that gonna do, cause an ink stain on her?
Poseidon: this pen is mightier than any sword Ares.
Mrs. Dodds lunged at me. With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword―Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.
Poseidon: told you so.
Triton smirked, now that his brother had a weapon he would see if he was any good with it; probably not, though at least he wouldn't cause any trouble.
Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes.
My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.
Amphitrite: Well thanks to Hades that's one less mistake of Poseidon's that lives
Triton: Well that was mildly entertaining.
Poseidon: NO PERCY!
Hades: Shit I'm dead.
She snarled, "Die, honey!"
And she flew straight at me.
Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword. The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss!
Amphitrite: WHAT, he was supposed to DIE, not destroy the thing.
Triton: I will never say this aloud but good job Percy.
Poseidon: Phew, that was close
Hades: well at least Poseidon won't kill me now.
Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot,
Hades pouted as though someone had taken away his favorite toy while Poseidon just smirked at him.
leaving nothing but the smell of sulfer and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.
Hades: yep and when she reforms you're screwed nephew.
I was alone.
There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.
Athena: I can't believe that even after that the mist is still affecting him.
Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.
My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something.
Athena could only raise her eyebrow at this.
Had I imagined the whole thing?
I went back outside.
It had started to rain.
Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."
Triton: How about instead of that I stab you, you irritating mortal wench.
I said, "Who?"
Hermes: your math teacher
Poseidon: Hermes
Hermes: yeah uncle P
Poseidon: shut it
"Our teacher. Duh!"
I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.
She just rolled her eyes and turned away.
I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was.
He said, "Who?"
But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.
Dionysus: useless satyrs
Hermes glared at him for that
"Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious."
Thunder boomed overhead.
I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.
I went over to him.
He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."
Hermes: very good lying Chiron
Artemis: you know you're talking to a book right
Hermes: your point?
Artemis just shook her head in exasperation
I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.
"Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?"
He stared at me blankly. "Who?"
"The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."
He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"