A/N: this is an old one I've been meaning to put up for a while. It's set in the beginning of 4x01, when Peter is in Neal's apartment. Obviously I wrote this before the episode aired, but yeah. I hope you like it. Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.
He sits alone in Neal's now abandoned apartment, letting the loneliness chill him to the bone. The apartment is covered with plain beige sheets, and they remind Peter of the sheets used to cover the dead, even though the colors do not match in the slightest.
The apartment is cold without Neal there, cold without his ever present charm and grace. Peter's gut clenches at the thought of Neal never returning, of the apartment being this cold forever.
Letting Neal go was the second hardest decision Peter's ever had to make - the first being whether or not to let Neal out in the first place-. But he'd do it again in a heartbeat. Maybe even less than that.
So why is he doubting himself? Why does he feel as if everything he's done for Neal these past two years have been for naught?
The door creaks open a little, as if someone had been leaning on it too hard. Peter's heart climbs into his throat at the thought, imagining Neal walking through that very same door and greeting him with a tip of one of his stupid hats he loved so much.
Peter smiles softly at the image, remembering when Neal had started wearing them. Neal had called them a part of the classics, but Peter shook his head exasperated beyond belief. He continues to be exasperated by Neal's antics, but the reasons for it vary.
He'd do anything to get Neal back, to get back at least some form of normalcy in his life. Peter had grown used to Neal's exasperating shenanigans and intelligence, so much so that he's finding it hard to get back to what it was like before Neal joined him. Before any cases of almost perfectly forged bonds got thrown on his desk.
The smile fades from Peter's face once he realizes that Neal will most likely never return to New York. His mind whispers to him that it's probably for the best, that what they had was never meant to be and it was a mistake to ever take him on in the first place.
Peter stands and pushes those thoughts away. He can't sit around and mope about what he should or shouldn't have done. There are cases to be solved and people to help. He's done it for years before Caffrey ever came into his life and he can do it again.
But he can't help the little tug his heart does when he leaves Neal's apartment. He pauses at the doorway, giving the empty room one last look, one last reminder that this emptiness will be permanent. Because it's better for everyone, including Neal, to stay away. Forever.