I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho all the characters belong to Yoshihiro Togashi.
Love, Everlasting
Part 1: Haunted by the Past
By Yami Yue
Prologue
I stared out the window as Mukuro's mobile fortress moved through the plains. Soon it would stop and I would be released from my border patrol duties. I wasn't sure what I would do with my newfound freedom. Things I knew that I was skilled with such as thievery and fighting had the potential for leading into a run in with Spirit world and possibly imprisonment or another lengthy parole, both I'd rather avoid.
I felt very strongly there was something I needed to do. I had no idea what that something was, but I had a feeling that I would find out soon enough. I just hoped that whatever it was, it would be good. The last thing I needed was more pain in my life.
"Now that you're free are you going to visit Kurama? I bet he misses you," Mukuro inquired, breaking into my thoughts. I had to admit that wasn't a bad idea. I hadn't seen the fox since Yusuke left the Makai and reunited with Keiko. I missed Kurama a great deal. He'd even been in the Makai a few times. I sensed him but I never sought him out. I regretted that now. At the very least I could have shown him that I was alive and well. "I should. It has been years since we last saw one another," I agreed.
I know it wouldn't have killed me to at least say hello to Kurama during one of his visits to the Makai. However, there was a reason that I had never sought out the fox. Over the years, I'd come to realize something that at first frightened me. I had fallen in love with Kurama. My best friend, my ally, my brother in arms had become the star of my fantasies and daydreams, the one I wished to claim as my own, and the one I wished would have me as his. I never sought him out when he visited the Makai because I was afraid that if I did, somehow he would discover what I felt for him.
I had no reason to believe that he felt the same as I. What would he see in me? I had nothing to offer him. I wasn't as handsome as he, nor was I any better at fighting or thievery than he was. I had never taken a lover either, so when it came to that department I was very much a novice. I wasn't even sure if he would welcome a male's advances. I did not think Kurama would be receptive to my advances and so I decided not to tell him how I felt.
"You should tell him how you feel," Mukuro continued, as though she had been reading my thoughts. " Why? So that he can reject me?" I replied. I was sure that if I did tell Kurama how I felt I would be rejected and no matter how gently he did it, it would still hurt. Worse yet, it could end our friendship and that was something I wanted to avoid, even if it meant that I never got to have him as more than a friend. "He may surprise you," Mukuro responded. "If you never tell him how you feel, how will you know if he feels the same or not? If you keep your mouth shut too long someone else may steal his heart when you may already have it. Then you will regret your silence and you will have to live with seeing him with someone else," she continued. She had a good point. Besides, there was no harm in visiting the fox. I just hoped he was not angry with me for not seeing or speaking to him in so long. Kurama's wrath was not something I wanted to face.
The fortress slowed to a halt and I rose, resting the strap of my bag on my shoulder. Mukuro stood as well and hugged me. "Think about what I said Hiei," she said softly into my ear before releasing me from her embrace and sitting down again. The others all said their goodbyes as I passed them on my way to the exit. It felt strange knowing I would no longer be among them, nonetheless I looked forward to starting over again. It was a chance for me to have a new life, one I gladly welcomed.
I watched the fortress rumble away. As it faded into the distance I decided to take Mukuro's advice and see Kurama, and if the fox showed any indication of feeling the same way as I, maybe I would confess my feelings. For the time being, I would have to be content with his friendship and hope for the best.
As I headed toward the human world I hoped the fox still considered us friends. After all, I hadn't seen or spoken to him in years. I cloaked my energy as I crossed the border into the human world. Immediately I searched for Kurama's energy and followed it. To my surprise, I found myself in front of an apartment building. I entered the building and looked at the list of names, quickly scanning it for Kurama's human name. He was listed. I did not look at the number, but continued following Kurama's energy to one of the apartments. I felt my stomach fluttering as I stood in front of the door. I took a deep breath and knocked.
A moment later the door opened revealing Kurama. His green eyes widened in surprise. "Hiei," he said. "Hello, Kurama," I said softly. He moved aside so that I could enter. "I see you moved," I said. "I moved after I graduated from high school," he informed me. I looked around the room. It was tastefully furnished. There were photographs adorning the walls most were of us with Yusuke and Kuwabara, others were of his human family
The fox had changed a bit. Gone was the thin lanky teenage form he had possessed. Kurama had developed a masculine body like that of his true form. He was even more irresistible than before. With his good looks and a body like that I doubted he was still single.
The sound of a baby crying assaulted my ears. Kurama started at the sound. " I'll be right back," he said. He headed out of the room and a few moments later the crying stopped. He returned a few minutes later holding an infant. "Look Kimi, your uncle Hiei came to visit," he said. "Here, hold her for a moment while I get her bottle," he requested as he transferred the baby into my arms He made sure she was secure in my arms then went into the kitchen.
I looked down at the tiny being in my arms. She was cute, with a head full of jet black hair. As I wondered who the child's mother was, Sadness washed over me. Mukuro was right. Someone already had the fox's heart. I had missed my chance. I didn't realize it would hurt so much to know he was with someone else when I wanted him myself. "You didn't want to risk your friendship with him by telling him how you felt. This is the price you must pay," I reminded myself.
Kurama returned a short while later with a bottle in hand. He smiled warmly. "You're a natural Hiei, have you ever considered having any children of your own?" he asked. "No, I replied. "You?" I inquired. "I came close to having a family once," he said softly. His eyes clouded with sorrow. Had the child's mother not survived the birth? I wanted desperately to ask but did not want to cause him further grief. I hated to see him so sad.
He gently took the child from my arms. "Uncle Kurama will just have to be content with babysitting you, won't he Kimi?" he cooed "Yusuke and Keiko will have to bring you by more often," he said as he offered the bottle to her. I was relieved. The babe wasn't his at all. She was Yusuke and Keiko's child. I watched in fascination as the child nursed from the bottle. Truth be told I wasn't sure what to think. I was glad that the baby wasn't his and hoped that there was still a chance that I could win his heart, but I did not want to risk our friendship either.
"Do you still want a family?" I asked. "If there were someone I could have a family with, I would gladly take the chance," he answered. "What about you?" he asked. "Assuming that someone wanted me as their mate, I wouldn't be adverse to the idea," I answered. "Don't be silly Hiei, you'd make someone a wonderful mate. You're loyal, courageous, protective, not to mention handsome and intelligent," he admonished. I felt my cheeks grow warm and I knew I was blushing. "You flatter me fox," I said. Kurama smiled. "When said with sincerity and in truth it isn't difficult," he said.
I wasn't sure if he was flirting with me or just being playful .I didn't mind either way, but if he was flirting with me, perhaps his interest wasn't solely directed toward females. Could he be interested in me? If so, I hoped it was a genuine interest in me and not because he wanted a lover to sate his desires.
"I'd better get this little one back to Yusuke and Keiko," he said as he burped the baby. "They live just downstairs, would you like to go with me?" he asked. "I'll wait here," I said. "Alright then, I'll be back shortly," He said. Kurama picked up a baby bag by the door and left the apartment.
I took a look around the apartment. It was a simple one bedroom one bath with a kitchen and a living room. I did not see any pictures of those I did not recognize, only those of us with the rest of our assorted group and his family. No pictures of a girlfriend or boyfriend or wedding photos. I was a bit surprised. With his looks, I didn't think the fox would still be single. Perhaps he had found someone in the Makai. He may not have thought it wise to court a human or even take one as a lover, but a demon was another matter altogether. I wasn't going so far as to snoop through his closets or anything to find out if he was seeing anyone. He seemed to still be my friend and I wanted to keep it that way. Instead, I turned on the tv and began flipping through the stations hoping to find something that was at least mildly interesting.
Kurama returned a short while later. He looked rather glad to see that I was still present. I took that as a good sign. "Are you hungry?" he asked. "If you're going to eat, I'll eat with you," I replied. Even if I wasn't hungry I wouldn't turn down the fox's offer of food. He was a good cook.
I followed him into the kitchen to help. "How long are you going to stay?" he asked. "I don't know yet," I replied. "I'm not on border patrol anymore, now that the tournament has begun again," I informed him. "Are you participating this time?" he asked. "No, I have no desire to be the king of the Makai," I answered. He raised a slender red eyebrow in surprise. I smirked at his surprise. "I don't want to be tied down like that. Power that great takes your freedom," I told him. Kurama smiled. "That's very true," he agreed. "I'm glad you came, I missed talking with you," he confessed. I sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't write to you or anything, but I didn't know what to say. Nothing I thought of sounded right," I said. He smiled. "I seemed to have that problem as well," he responded. So, he wasn't angry with me at all. That was one fear put to rest at least. "You'll stay awhile I hope," he said. I nodded. Kurama's smile became radiant, and I was glad to be the one to cause him to smile like that.
As I helped Kurama prepare the evening meal, he filled me in on what had happened while I was gone. Yusuke and Keiko had eloped two years after Yusuke returned from the Makai. The detective had studied hard and had passed the test to get his high school diploma. Kuwabara had graduated high school and was currently studying at one of the local colleges in hopes of becoming an animal doctor.
As we sat down to eat I relayed what had happened to me during the time we were apart. Kurama did the same and I noticed that he did not mention having a lover or that he was seeing anyone. I was curious as to why, but did not ask. Mukuro's suggestion that I visit Kurama had been a good one. Just as she predicted, he had been glad to see me. It remained to be seen if her other advice would prove to be as good.