Hey Sam, What The Hell Do We Get Dean For His Birthday?
Dean was obviously not into his birthday. It didn't seem like either Winchester was overly into any normal rite of passage, holiday, or anything that may have hinted at a normal upbringing (which wasn't surprising, as you got to know them.) But this year they happened to be stuck with you for Dean's 36th birthday. And you did birthdays. Not "Go big or go home", but you did birthdays. You at lat acknowledged their existence.
Dean was still sleeping peacefully (for once) when you'd brushed a kiss across his lips, left his bed, and padded barefoot into the kitchen to join Sam for breakfast. He'd poured you a cup of coffee and you'd settled down with your bowl of Wheaties, making polite conversation. Sam was still getting up early but not quite back to jogging yet since his leg had been broken. You sat across from each other, shooting the breeze, when he stopped and looked at his phone. He smiled to himself.
"What?" You asked, pausing, a spoonful of cereal halfway to your mouth.
"It's Dean's birthday." He replied. "God, he's so OLD."
"It's his birthday? Today?" You say. "How old is he?"
"Thirty six."
"Hate to break it to you, handsome, but he ain't that much older than either of us are." You swirled your coffee in your cup. "You get him a gift yet?
Sam shook his head. "He isn't really one for presents."
It was your turn to shake your head. "You two are so weird."
"What? Why?"
"I send my brother a gift every year on his birthday." You reply. "And before you say anything, we had less-than-ideal hunter parents, too."
"What do you usually send him?"
"Usually some voodoo shit. He uses it to hunt." You reply. "You know, normal stuff."
"We just never do much for our birthdays. Usually we're on a hunt getting the shit kicked out of us. Or we go to a bar and Dean gets hammered and goes home with the Double-mint Twins or something." Sam eyed me sheepishly. "Which is obviously not happening this year."
You chuckle. "Well, the bar can. The Double-mint Twins definitely won't be." You get up and wash out your bowl. "We have to get him something. I'm here this year. There's at least gonna be a cake and a gift." You turn to Sam. "He's still asleep. I'll meet you back here in 20 minutes. We'll steal his car and go shop for a gift for him."
Sam raised his eyebrows. "You wanna steal his car on his birthday?" I nodded. Sam grinned devilishly.
Now you knew why Sam never bought Dean a gift. Shopping for Dean was hard. It was like, bullshit hard. You two had been at the mall for three hours. Dean had found your note and called, less than pleased at your decision to steal his car. You'd ordered a small cake from the supermarket that said "Happy Birthday Dean" to be picked up later- that was the easy part. But as you strolled through the shopping center full of Ed Hardy shirts and jeans with bedazzled butt pockets, you couldn't see a damned thing Dean would like. Or that he would even be able to pretend to like, because you knew he'd pretend to love anything you or Sam gave him.
You sighed. "I'm sorry. This was a waste of time. If I see one more Affliction shirt, I may cry."
Sam had the look of a caged bird on his face. "I can't handle the mall much longer. This is torture."
"We should just get him some issues of "Busty Asian Beauties" and a "Casa Erotica" DVD." You let out a sigh of defeat as you slid into the passenger seat of the Impala.
Sam gave you an incredulous look. "You want to get your boyfriend porn for his birthday?"
You shrug. "At least I know he'll actually like it."
"I'm not letting you get him porn." Sam laughed. "He probably has the latest issue already anyway. And the Casa Erotica ship has sailed."
"I know. He already nailed the star, and your friend Gabriel keeps popping up randomly in the videos. I'm sure that kills the mood..." You think of a gift as Sam pulls the car away. "I've got it!" You say, grinning from ear to ear.
"What?" Sam asks, glancing at you as he turns a corner. "Because I have no ideas either."
"We're home!" You call out as you and Sam enter the bunker an hour later. Sam is carrying a small cake box, and another white bag. He takes them to the kitchen. You find Dean in his room watching TV. He smiles as your silhouette fills the door.
"Happy Birthday!" You say, approaching the bed and straddling Dean. He brings his lips up to yours, his hands running up your thighs and resting on you ass, squeezing it tighly. You kiss him, then abruptly climb off of him.
"What the hell?" He looks disappointed. "You've been gone all day, steal my car, and that's all I get?"
You wink at him. "For now." You reply suggestively and go to the door. "Stay here for like, ten minutes. Then come out to the kitchen." You duck out of the room giggling as he throws a wadded up shirt at you.
Dean sits at the head of the table, looking at the stuff spread out before him. He'd protested at even coming out of his room to see any gifts, but now a slow smile spreads across his lips. He is obviously pleased. You guys had gone to the best burger place in town and ordered a bunch of food. There was the cake, with "Happy Birthday Dan" written on it (an unfortunate typo, but they'd given you a discount and you'd been in a hurry.) You'd given Dean a bag of 100 of your precious melted Angel-Blade bullets, and Sam had gotten him a certificate for five oil changes for the Impala.
"I can't even believe anyone remembered it was my birthday. I mean, shit, a bag full of Demon killing bullets!" Dean said. He looked from his brother, then over to you. "And I must be getting old. I'm excited about oil changes." He looks around. "How adult of us."