I've got this idea yesterday. The story contains my headcanon regarding Yondu's backstory.
Edit: Let's play a little game. What do you think the title means?
The chance
Abandoned spaceships, drifting in space were – for obvious reasons – creepy. The chances of encountering one were very rare, because if your ship was damaged in the middle of space, you either evacuate yourself and come back with help, or just try to repair the damages on your own. After all, mechanics and spare parts were kept on this ship for a reason.
Either way, if you could help it, you wouldn't leave a whole spaceship just like that. And if you would, then it meant that said spaceship was going to be utterly destroyed, anyway.
This one was rusty and bumped up, yes, but other than that – looked good. And Yondu knew it was abandoned, because it wasn't moving at all from its spot and there was no attempts of contact or running away, therefore – the ship's crew didn't seem to notice the Ravagers' ship coming to them. The Ravagers encountered abandoned ships only couple of times in their long criminal career. Sometimes they found something interesting there like food, fuel or spare parts, but sooner or later they were learning why this particular spaceship was abandoned (decease, corruption of metal, the ship being a mass graveyard…) and they were leaving it as soon as possible.
Abandoned spaceships were good only for one thing – looting.
So the Ravagers were going to enter the ship in front of them, quickly check, if there was something worth taking, and come back. And since Yondu had realized long time ago that his crew (Kraglin included; when it comes to mechanics, he could be hopeless) could sometimes get lost while looting, the Centaurian decided to go with them personally and leave Kraglin at charge, until he will come back.
The starship was half the size of their own, so it was pretty big. When Yondu and some of his men entered it, it looked quite clean and taken care of – no rust, no fungus, no signs of neglect. That was the first signal that something wasn't right.
Yondu split his men into two groups and sent them in two directions, in approximately not-very-long distance from each other. If anything bad was going to happen, they could easily regroup and run for their lives. He was standing in the middle and waiting for his men to find something interesting. His eyes were moving from one corridor to the other. Why they were so neat? Was he wrong about this ship being abandoned? Then why it was just drifting there, when they approached it? Why nobody even tried to contact them? Were the people living there aware of the Ravagers and therefore afraid of them? Or maybe it was something else.
His musings were cut by the sudden appearance of a figure on the other side of the corridor. The figure was long and lean, and wore a dark robe. It had also a round, bald head. For the moment the stranger and Yondu were looking at each other, and then the alien turned left, without even saying anything to the Centaurian. Yondu frowned and quickly run towards the figure, calling:
"Hey, you! Come back!"
His men quickly gathered in the corridor and ran after their leader, but he didn't care. He just sprinted to the end of the corridor and turned left, like the stranger before. He immediately found himself in another hallway, this time shorter and with pair of doors on both sides. There was also one door at the end of the corridor, in front of Yondu.
Few seconds later the Ravagers joined their captain. For a moment Yondu was thinking what to do. First, he decided to check the more peaceful solution.
"Come on! Get out!" He called. "As long as you won't attack us, you're safe! We can even take you to civilization for the right prize!" He smiled, saying the last sentence.
Silence. There was no response from the mysterious stranger.
"Are you sure, Yondu, there is somebody here?" Asked one of his men.
"Yes, I am." The Centaurian growled and looked at him in a way that made the guy nervous. "Are you implying that I'm crazy?"
"No, not at all." Said the Ravager.
Yondu turned to the corridor in front of him and called once again:
"You know, it's kind of rude to not reply, when someone is talking to you! Also, we are your guests, haven't you heard of thing called hospitality?"
Still there was no response.
"Okay, I'm done being nice." Said Yondu.
He turned to his men and ordered them to check the doors on the sides, while he himself directed towards the one in the middle. Just in case that there could be some trap on the other side, when he opened the door, he quickly hid behind the wall next to it. When after couple of seconds nothing seemed to happen, Yondu finally entered the room.
What he saw was very peculiar. The room was filled with various plants, making the whole place oddly green. The plants were lit by the halogen lights above. For a moment Yondu thought that some of those plants looked very familiar…
In the middle of the room, stroking large leafs of some kind of bush, was standing the bald alien, Yondu had seen earlier. It was a man, Yondu was almost certain of it, due to his sharp features. His skin was pale, almost grey, his beady, black eyes seemed to be oddly warm, when focused on the plant in front of him. He wore a dark green robe.
Yondu cleared his throat, but the alien only glanced at him and went right back to looking at the bush.
"My name is Yondu Udonta." A bit annoyed Centaurian introduced himself. "I'm the captain of the Ravagers and…"
"I know, who you are." The alien finally turned to Yondu.
His voice was calm, soothing even. He smiled to his guest lightly and clicked something on the nearest wall. The door to the plant room has closed behind Yondu.
"I hoped to find you in this part of the galaxy." The alien said.
Yondu raised his eyebrows with surprise, but then he frowned. The guy looked suspicious. The Centaurian was going to call his men, but the alien in front of him said with another smile:
"Don't worry, I'm here to help you."
"Oh, yeah? It looks like you have something to hide."
The alien approached the Ravagers' captain and curtseyed in front of Yondu to the surprise of the Centaurian. When he looked at his guest, he said:
"My name is Memorandus. And the starship you're currently in is called 'Memorandum'." Then he came back to the bush he was looking at before. Not glancing at Yondu, Memorandus spoke again: "Mister Udonta, I'm a well known intergalactic specialist in psychology. My lifetime goal is to help broken people overcome their psychological and emotional issues, so they can move on." He turned to Yondu. "And I am certain that you need my help."
"Wrong address." Yondu smirked, but then got serious. "I don't need a treatment." Besides, you're creeping me out, he added in his mind.
"You think so, mister Udonta?" Memorandus sent him another light smile. "So the suicidal thoughts stopped already? You don't want to die, because of memories of your tribe?"
Yondu's eyes widened, before he frowned and looked at Memorandus with cold gaze.
"How did you know about…?"
"I am familiar with your case, because a good friend of yours informed me about it." Explained the gray-skinned alien. "He knows that I am professional and my methods are effective. He too was my patient for a while. Just like his four friends."
Yondu started to think. Someone, he knows… Someone with four friends…
The sudden realization hit him.
"Quill." He hissed and looked at Memorandus even more coldly. "What did you do to him?"
"Nothing bad, I assure you." The gray alien said. "He's safe and sound, just like the other Guardians of the Galaxy. They needed help and they got it. Then Star-Lord asked me to also help you with your inner demons."
"How would I know, you're not lying and they're not imprisoned on this very ship?"
"You can always scan it in search for life forms." Memorandus prompted. "Or check my records. You can also just call Star-Lord. I'm sure, he will appreciate the concern."
Memorandus opened the door and Yondu could see that his men were already in the hallway. He exited the room and called Kraglin.
"How many life forms, you've found?" He asked when his first mate scanned the starship.
"Aside from you, only one, behind you."
"It's guy, who calls himself Memorandus. He says, he's a psychologist."
"Really?" Kraglin chuckled. "And what he's doing here, on his own, instead of some nice, warm cabinet?"
Yondu hesitated for a moment, but then he decided that getting Kraglin to know won't hurt.
"It seems that he was looking for us. He says, he treated Quill and his little crew, and that kid asked him to treat me."
"It sounds very suspicious. Hold on, I will make a call with 'Milano'."
He disconnected. For a couple of minutes Yondu waited for Kraglin to call him back and tell him what he learned. The Centaurian suspected that Quill didn't know Memorandus and even if he did, Kraglin will spot some shades of brainwashing in kid's behavior. Yondu had nothing against psychologists, it's a profession like anything else, but the gray-skinned alien was just too weird, to be only random doctor stranded in this part of galaxy.
When Yondu finally heard the sound of incoming call, he thought that it was about time.
"Well?" He asked Kraglin.
"It seems that kid really encountered guy named Memorandus, who's a psychologist. He says that, and I quote: 'dude has very unique methods and you might think, he's a bit psychotic, but in the end you can learn a lot from him.'"
"Have you noticed something suspicious about Quill? Any signs of brainwashing?"
"Well, he kept telling me that Memorandus' therapy is hardcore and if you're very delicate, you can end up with worse condition than you came in. So I guess, he hasn't been brainwashed."
A moment of silence. Yondu was musing about this whole situation. The kid at the same time was assuring them that Memorandus' methods are great and warned them that therapy might be dangerous. If he was brainwashed, he would be all for the treatment. He also wouldn't say that Memorandus is psychotic.
"Did you make up your mind?"
Yondu looked at Memorandus, who was standing in the doorframe and watching the Centaurian with a smile. The rest of the Ravagers turned to the psychologist, giving him hostile looks.
"I can make them go away, you know. I can… no… we can give you peace of mind."
Yondu somehow understood what Memorandus meant by them. The unwanted images flashed before his eyes. The images that were haunting him from this very day, when he had to rapidly grow up.
"See," Memorandus went on. "the problem is that you're not facing your past properly. You keep running away from it, so it follows you."
"Oh, yeah, smartass?" Yondu asked coldly.
Then he whistled and soon Memorandus had Yaka arrow pointed at his throat. Surprisingly for Yondu and his men, he remained calm. He looked at the Centaurian.
"Oh, the aggression… obvious sign of the unresolved emotional issues."
"I don't have the unresolved issues." Yondu hissed. "I'm fine."
"From what I've heard from mister Quill, you have multiple, mister Udonta." Memorandus replied. "Guilt, self-loathing, suicide thoughts, sometimes even hallucinations that are the manifestation of those feelings." He saddened. "The Zatoan tribe haunts you, because you think, you failed them, mister Udonta. Together, we can put them to rest. I can make you free. But I warn you" He raised his finger. "this will be a long, painful journey and in the end everything will depend on you."
Another moment of silence. The Ravagers were observing their captain with interest, while Yondu was thinking through Memorandus' offer. One part of him was against it. He wasn't crazy and he needed no therapy. He was somehow doing fine for all those years without "therapy" and he certainly will be fine without it now. So he should rob the guy and show him that you don't mess with Yondu Udonta.
But the other part actually wanted to try this "therapy" thing. He spent lots of sleepless nights and quiet days thinking about his deceased tribe. About his family, friends and whole village slaughtered by the Brotherhood of Badoon. About their ghosts coming to him in the moments of solitude.
The last of Zatoan tribe. A coward, who couldn't protect his people and who didn't even avenge them. They always were making him feel vulnerable and worthless. They were making him want to die. Because what was the point of being the Ravager and having his own crew, when your people thought of you as a coward? What was the point of new life, when the old one was coming back and reminding you about those left behind?
Yondu realized that he was still connected with Kraglin.
"What do you think, Kraglin?" He asked his first mate. "What should I do?"
"You will do as you wish," Kraglin started. "but I think you should try."
Oh, Kraglin… Dear, wonderful Kraglin, with whom Yondu spent countless nights trying to fill the horrible silence… The whole crew knew about the Zatoan tribe and they kind of understood how his captain felt about it, but Kraglin was the one, who seemed to understand Yondu the most. Not because of similar experiences, but because he actually seen the pain of his best friend many times. As the closest person to Yondu, he got to know his demons and their affect on the Centaurian. Even if he didn't see them.
That was why he advised Yondu to take that chance.
But Kraglin was also cautious. He wouldn't advise going to the doctor, if he wasn't sure if it work. Yondu learned to trust his first mate like anyone else. And since Kraglin thought Yondu should try, then it wasn't such a bad idea.
The blue alien looked at the gray one. He whistled the arrow back to his belt. Memorandus gave a sigh of relief. Yondu asked:
"Let me make myself clear: if you try to do anything stupid, my men will eat you alive. And if there will be no results, I will personally rip you apart. Do you understand, sawbones?"
"So I assume, you decided to try the therapy?" Memorandus smiled.
"Do you understand, what I just said?!" Yondu asked, raising his voice.
"Yes, I do, mister Udonta." Said the psychologist, remaining calm. "I am aware of my current predicament. But the therapy won't be easy for you, so I have to ask one last time: Are you sure, you want to try it?"
"Yes!" Yondu exclaimed. "Yes, I do! Move along!"
"Very well." Memorandus replied calmly. "Please, come with me, mister Udonta."
He led Yondu and his men to a room with lots of machines and an armchair in the middle. Above the armchair was hanged some wired helmet. There were also bonds on the armrest, probably for safety purposes.
Memorandus came to the computer and started to write something on keyboard. Then he turned to Yondu and said:
"Please, take a sit." He pointed the armchair.
A bit hesitantly, but Yondu did as he was told. Just like he suspected, when he sat on the armchair, Memorandus took the helmet and put it on his patient's head. He wired something to his temples, before adjusting the helmet to Yondu's skull, careful with the cybernetic Mohawk. Then he proceeded with bonds on arms. The Centaurian felt uneasiness rising inside of him, but he didn't say anything.
When Memorandus finished his work, he rested his hand on Yondu's shoulder and made him lean comfortably on the armchair.
"Now I will give you medicine that will make you sleep, mister Udonta. You will be sleeping for two hours and then wake up. This machine," Memorandus pointed out the computer behind him. "will take you to the subconscious level of your psyche. What you will see, you might not like, but this is important for the therapy." He suddenly smiled and tapped Yondu's arm. "Don't worry, mister Udonta. When you finally get there, you will know what to do."
He brought to Yondu some pill and water. Yondu let himself be fed with it, still a bit nervous. Some part of him wanted to get away, but since he already agreed on therapy, he was going to get through it.
Anything to finally stop them from coming…
He felt sleepy. It was actually a pretty nice feeling. So relaxing and comforting… He let himself fall asleep. He let himself dream. The warm blackness enveloped him and Yondu lost consciousness.
He found himself reliving his worst nightmare.
He was once again standing in his burned village and he once again saw his own tribe lying dead on the ground. He quickly recognized his family, friends, neighbors among the motionless bodies, and he felt how his heart was sinking. The silence was bombarding his ears with the horrible emptiness and lack of any kind of sounds, indicating that maybe, just maybe he wasn't the only survivor…
But the truth was that he was the only survivor. Aside from him, there was no living soul in this whole village.
And then he heard the soft crack of someone's foot stepping on the branch. The sound was coming from his hut. Yondu felt how something inside him was growing. There was someone in his old house. He wasn't alone after all.
With a smile on his face he quickly came to the place and looked inside. In the middle of the hut was standing a sixteen-year-old boy. He was dirty and had blood on his hands, clothes and knife behind belt – the signs that the boy returned from hunting. His red eyes were piercing Yondu with cold, almost hateful gaze. The more the Ravagers' captain was observing the boy, the more certain he was.
In front of him was standing his sixteen-year-old self.