Crossroads

by Ariane Rivendell

Coda to "King of the Hill", story by Leonard Freeman, teleplay by John D.F. Black.

"Hawaii 5-0" is the property of Paramount Studios, Leonard Freeman Productions and CBS Network. Characters and content from the show is the property of the original creators. No copyright infringement intended.

All original characters and story content is the sole property of Ariane Rivendell and may not be used without permission.

A/N: Admittedly, I'm not sure if a time-frame had ever been established between "King of the Hill" and the subsequent episode, "Uptight", so apologies if the timing is off. Posted 10/24/13.

"He who does not feel his friends to be the world to him, does not deserve that the world should hear of him." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

Steve McGarrett's sense of awareness began with the uncomfortable sensation that his entire face had been somehow turned into a raisin; dried and shriveled skin seemed to be pulled toward his nose. His eyes felt swollen and suddenly too large for their sockets and he knew from a lifetime of experience that opening those same eyes was going to result in a splitting headache for the rest of the day. He'd be happier if this had been a hangover.

I bet I look it, too. I'd catch hell from the Governor if he walked in right now...

Intense cold shimmied next to him and infiltrated his clothing, followed immediately by the fist-sized lump of pain in the small of his back, which forced him to shift position in the chair he'd only just realized he'd fallen asleep in. Perfect, just perfect. I don't suppose I can have Chin round up every criminal in the state so I can sleep for a few days? He lifted his left hand but seemed unable to control it; it wavered through the air like an albatross floating on the current in search of a landing spot, finally finding his nose and inching up to rub his eyes.

Steve raised his eyebrows as if to coax his eyelids to move in the same direction. He squinted through the tiny slit he managed, then, with a hefty sigh he forced his eyes to open completely.

He blinked into the darkness of the room and turned to see his second-in-command lying still and supine in the nearby hospital bed.

Steve awkwardly separated his frame from the furniture, stiffly lumbered to the edge of the bed and looked down with worry and relief at his curly-haired subordinate. Steve just watched him breathe and allowed the peace of the pre-dawn darkness and quiet of the hospital to settle over him...

…McGarrett bolts to his feet in the waiting room as the surgeon approaches. 'Doctor? How is he?'

The surgeon shakes his head in wonderment, 'You tell me, Steve.'

'I don't understand. He'll live, won't he?'

'With any luck, probably longer than you or me. Thankfully, and by a miracle, the bullet didn't hit any major organs. That's what saved him. If it had, he'd be dead by now. Barring any complications or infections, he should be up and about in a couple of weeks…'

Steve closes his eyes and feels relief plunging through him with such ferocity he feels himself crumbling in its wake. He wavers on his feet…reaches out to the wall…steadies himself and slowly sinks back to the waiting room chair. Breathe, Steve, breathe. Breathe… Keep a hold on yourself. He's going to be fine. He's gonna be fine. Dear God….

Steve noticed that the top blanket was rolled up at the bottom of the bed and he remembered that Danny had complained of feeling hot so Steve had rolled it down for him. When was that? An hour ago? Last night? Time and the same four walls had merged all of Steve's memories into one long string of indistinguishable moments.

McGarrett slipped his hand under the thin sheet that remained over Williams' sleeping form and felt Danny's arm. Cold. Had he not witnessed the soft rise and fall of Danny's chest, he'd have thought Danny dead. He's not dead, he's just sleeping. It's freezing in here, what do you expect? Christ, Steve, stop being so jumpy.

Steve grabbed the rolled up thick blanket and gently laid it over his slumbering officer, paying special attention not to wake him.

Danny stirred.

So much for that idea...

Danny's blue eyes blinked open with some effort and he frowned as he considered the unusually rumpled and disheveled man standing over him, his face looking fatigued and worn out, the pale lighting somehow adding wrinkles and years to his uncharacteristically wan appearance. Danny's whispered voice croaked, "You look like hell, Steve."

A smile tugged at the corner of McGarrett's lips and he offered a pinky. "Wanna bet I still look better than you?"

The wry smile was mirrored on Williams. "Shut up or I'll tell mom you're picking on me."

What would otherwise have been hearty laughter had been stifled into a wimpy chuckle by exhaustion. Steve laid a gentle hand on Danny's shoulder as affection misted his sandy-gritted eyes. Danny's half-lidded, patient expression just looked up at him. "Go back to sleep," Steve whispered.

"Same to you but more of it," came Danny's sleepy retort.

Steve chuckled again and he watched Danny's eyes close and his head loll to one side.

The head of 5-0 let out a deep sigh, leaned an elbow against the wall and tiredly rubbed his eyes as he heard his own voice scream inside his head. 'How long does it take a man to bleed to death…?'

To his surprise, his own voice answered. How long does it take a man to become your best friend?

~!~

[two weeks later]

A grinning Steve McGarrett, hands folded in front of him as he stood in his office doorway, watched Danny Williams make his way into the 5-0 office. Escorted by Lt. Kealoha, Kono and Chin, Danny was walking tall, shaking hands and waving and smiling amidst the cheers and applause of the 5-0 staff. McGarrett closed his office door behind his exuberant team as they paraded in.

"So…?" Steve splayed apart his hands, smile dancing on his features.

Williams dug into his suit pocket and handed Steve several papers. He bounced on his heels while Steve eyed his smugly grinning detective before laying his scrutiny on the documents Danny had handed him. After several tense moments, Steve glanced at Williams again then wordlessly moved to his desk, opened a drawer, and took out a badge and gun. He strode back to the waiting men and held them out. "Detective Danny Williams, I believe these are yours."

Danny immediately holstered his gun and shoved his badge into his suit pocket. "Thanks, Steve."

"Alright!" Kono affectionately shook the smaller detective.

"Congratulations, Danny!" Chin excitedly slapped Danny on the back.

Kealoha shook Williams' hand, "Good to have you back, Danny."

"Thanks. Thanks, fellas."

McGarrett thumbed back toward the papers Williams had given him. "I know the shooting range and the doctors have cleared you, but, no foolin', Danny, how do you feel?"

"Like I could take on the world, Steve."

A friendly smile graced the expression of the head of 5-0. "Good. Because I have a task for you to celebrate your return to duty."

Danny stood up straighter, adjusted his jacket sleeves and grinned at the rest of the team. "Lay it on me, Steve. I'm ready."

"I'd like that report on the Auston case on my desk by the end of the day."

Williams deflated at McGarrett's sly smile while the rest of the team laughed, cracked a few jokes and pounded Danny on the back before making a hasty exit.

Danny sighed heavily, looking a little sheepish. "End of the day, huh?"

Steve noted Danny's hesitation, "You feel up to it?"

Danny sucked in a breath and tried to push down the unease that was beginning to build. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good, Steve."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," he forced the confidence into his voice. "Not a problem."

"Okay." Steve acknowledged, eyeing Danny with some trepidation. "The good news is you've got about eight hours, Danno," he tried to keep his voice light.

"Yeah…" Williams dolefully spun on his heel toward the door. "Welcome back, Danny. Good to have you back, Danny. Missed you a lot, Danny…." He muttered as he left the office, not hearing Steve's quiet chuckles.

~!~

[later that afternoon]

Williams slowly walked in to McGarrett's office, a finger nervously tapping the report he held to his chest like a treasured trinket before gently placing it on the desk. Steve looked up from a case report he was reading and glanced at his detective. "Pau?"

"Yeah. It's all done."

"Thanks, Danno. Hold on. Hang around until I finish looking at it, will you?"

Danny nodded. "Okay, Steve. Chin's been getting me up to speed on what I've missed."

"Good. I'll come find you in a minute."

Danny hung back, tapped his pant leg and then turned and left.

Steve set down the folder in his hands, opened Danny's report and leaned back into his chair. But Steve's eyes suddenly widened as he read, his expression quickly darkening. Exasperation became incredulity and as he leaned forward it quickly intensified into outright rage.

Gritting his teeth, he slapped the report down. His hand curling into a fist, he shot up from his chair, whipped the report off the desk, and stalked toward the door. "No way," he breathlessly fumed. "No way…!" McGarrett's long strides had him out of the office and in front of Williams' desk in about three steps.

Danny started at the sudden sight of the storm raging on his boss' face and he fumbled in his chair to stand up.

"Don't bother getting up!" McGarrett barked.

"Steve, what—?"

"I oughta have you fired!"

The rest of Danny's sentence sputtered to the floor and his eyes quickly scanned the hushed office as he struggled to get his feet underneath him. Turned heads and the stunned expressions of the entire office, most on their feet, and Chin's worried expression peripherally registered in Williams' dumbfounded senses. "Excuse me—?"

"You heard me!"

"Steve, keep your voice down—"

"I don't care who hears me! At least I'll know somebody in this office did."

Danny's eyes hardened at Steve's sudden and unrelenting verbal assault and his chest puffed up in defense. "Fine. You let me know when you're done. I'll have Jenny write up the transcript so I can read it later."

McGarrett rocked back on one leg, never wavering the venomous glare he kept on Williams. "Oh. A smart alec, huh? Too bad those same smarts weren't at the scene when you pulled this infantile stunt!" Steve backslapped the report in his hand so hard he nearly dropped it. Feeling his rage rising further, he turned and stalked back toward his office, if only to redirect bodily movement before he dropped everything to beat the living daylights out of his second-in-command.

Danny went after him. "Steve!" It wasn't until days later that Chin Ho's soft "Danny…?" made its way to the forefront of Williams' memory.

"You should be fired, Danno! Fired!" Steve yelled again as he crossed the threshold into his office.

"Steve, what the hell is this about?" Williams demanded and closed the door behind him, the heavy thud mirroring the sound of his heart hitting the floor.

McGarrett was already behind his desk and he spun on his heel to face the younger detective, wiggling the report at arm's length. "This, you cockamamie jackass!"

Williams stood his ground. "Keep calling me names and I'll tell the principal."

McGarrett deflated at Williams' making light of his fury and he shook his head, his voice becoming dangerously soft. "This isn't funny, Danno."

"You see me laughing?"

McGarrett slapped the report down onto his desk and leaned over it, his head bowed. "I just read your report about what happened with Marine Lance Corporal John T. Auston," Steve began in a clipped tone, concentrating all his energy on keeping his voice even. "No, correction, I started to read it," he growled, steely eyes rising to fixate on his subordinate, his concentration failing in spades. "But I couldn't read it past the part where you took out your weapon, had a clear shot, and failed to take him out!"

Danny didn't move, confusion rooting him to his spot. "It's all in the report, Steve—"

"Is it? Because I didn't see it, Danny! Perhaps you'd like to point out the reference you made to all those clear procedural rules and regulations, which dictate that an officer should stand down and surrender his weapon to pass up a perfect opportunity to get off a clean shot with minimal impact to the safety of himself and others and leave everybody at risk!"

"It wasn't like that, Steve."

McGarrett's voice took on a soft and steely edge as he made his way around his desk. "Alright, then tell me. Were you hallucinating?"

"What do you mean?"

"Were you in so much pain or had lost so much blood that you were hallucinating? That you weren't in your right mind?"

"Well, no –"

"Did he drug you?"

"No, Steve."

"Were you on drugs? Maybe you took something at the ballpark? Reds, maybe? Some heroin—?"

"No!"

"Well then maybe you were drunk? Were you drunk, Danno, when you arrived at the hospital? Had you been drinking at the game—?"

"No, Steve! I wasn't drunk! You know that!"

"Were you hit on the head, then, when he attacked you or when you fell? Were you suffering from a concussion, perhaps or'd been hit by a bat, too—?"

"No, I wasn't hit on the head! Besides, what the hell would it have mattered? He wasn't to be killed, you told me yourself! And he already had a gun! If I'd gone unconscious or died, he might've found it, anyway!"

"Sure. Or he might not have. And maybe this time we had to find every possible means to keep him alive. But what about next time! And the next time after that and the next time after that when the life of the suspect is not paramount! Huh, Danny? What then? It's possible that we might have had a little more time to get to you and him and ended the stand-off a little quicker had you not practically handed him your weapon!"

"I told you, Steve, it wasn't like that!"

"Then kindly explain to me, Detective Dan Williams, why and how it is that you failed to neutralize the suspect when you had prime opportunity to do so!"

Danny remained in his spot, eyes on the floor, fingers fidgeting, his voice barely audible, "I didn't think he deserved to die."

"What was that? I didn't hear you—"

"I said I didn't think he deserved to die," Danny boldly squared off with his boss.

Steve's finger pierced the air. "You don't take out your gun unless you plan on using it!"

"I had planned on it!"

McGarrett spoke between clenched teeth. "Then you are under every obligation in the book to use it! You are the cop, Danno, and it is up to you to take control of the situation. From the moment you pulled your gun, you were compelled to use every means to wrest control of the situation, especially right then because you were injured and compromised! You had seconds to take him out in the condition you were in! The second you took out your gun, you ran a higher risk of him acquiring your weapon and that's exactly what happened—!"

"I know that, Steve! I'm not a rookie! I had every intention of taking him out of the play!"

"So what stopped you?"

"I told you. I didn't think he deserved to die."

Steve's eyes narrowed. "I see. So instead of taking control of the situation when you had the chance, you decided, in the best interests of everyone involved, to allow a deranged and armed suspect to further jeopardize himself, you, other officers in the field, and more importantly, the entire hospital staff and the other patients because you felt sorry for him!"

"It was my call, Steve. My call and I made it—"

"No, you barely made it, Danno. You barely made it out, alive. Dammit, Danno, you didn't have the luxury of changing your mind! You should've ended the stand-off right then and there, yet you allowed your emotions to dictate the situation—!"

"It was clear he wasn't in his right mind, Steve! And you said it yourself, I was injured. What if I'd missed, huh? My hand was shaking from the pain and the blood loss. My vision wasn't all that clear. What if I'd missed? It might've gone through the wall and hit a patient! It might've hurled him further into his psychosis and made him more dangerous!"

"You were five feet from him, Danno. His back was to you. Even with blurry vision and shaking hands, a cadet could've taken him out—!"

"Well a cadet wasn't there, Steve! I was! I made the call to find another way! For his sake! For the sake of a man who had no control over what was happening to him! God, is that all this is to you? Rules and regulations and police procedures? Whatever happened to humanity, Steve? Whatever happened to compassion and helping the helpless? If rules and regs are the only things this badge is about then maybe you should fire me; bust me down to patrol officer or meter maid, I don't care. Maybe I'm not cut out to be the kind of cop you expect me to be." Williams paused, eyes working, jaw clenched. "Maybe I don't want to be that kind of cop." Danny took out his badge and gun and set it on Steve's desk.

"What're you doing?"

"Making it easy for you. I'll give Chin my open cases."

"Danno—"

But all Steve could do was watch Williams' quickly retreating back, framed against the flung-open door and he pressed his hand against his leg to stop it from shaking.

#/#

…'Can I be blunt, McGarrett?' Navy Commander Simon Yetz leans on the railing of the upper deck of the destroyer and casts a sidelong glance at his dark-haired subordinate.

'Of course, sir.'

'I envy you.'

'Why is that, sir?' Steve asks, amused and curious as to where this joke at his expense is going. He glances at his superior officer, however, and realizes that his boss isn't kidding.

'Because you invoke loyalty in people, McGarrett. It comes naturally, to you. I even see higher-ranking officers follow your lead. You have a confidence, a natural leadership quality that make people want to defer to you…'

Steve looked at Danny's badge and gun lying ownerless on his desk. Not just me, sir. Not just me.

Over the ensuing week, cases and tips and meetings and witnesses filled the days but Steve's heart remained on one thing: Dan Williams. His absence was profound and Steve felt it like a fist in his gut; noting that Kono and Chin felt it, too. Even Jenny had to remind him several times that Danny wasn't around.

Social engagements went ignored as Steve's nights were filled with examining his own actions, his own reactions, his own feelings as to why he'd been so hard on Danno about the Auston incident. Reading through Williams' report again, he relived it and as he forced himself through the reliving of it, it came to him.

~!~

The knock was familiar, but as apprehensive as Danny was to answer it, he was equally curious. He opened the front door of his apartment to a humble-looking and casually dressed Steve McGarrett. "Is it true?"

"Is what true?" Steve asked, unfazed by Danny's pointed question and complete lack of preamble.

"That you're considering leaving 5-0?"

Steve's gaze slid from Danny's front door down the corridor. "Who told you that?"

"Who do you think?"

Rule Number One: Never try to hide anything in a police precinct. McGarrett proffered Danny's badge and gun. When Danny didn't take them, Steve patiently held them until Danny finally took them from his hands. "Can we talk?"

Danny looked speculatively at the items Steve had given him. "That depends. If you mean you berate me while I quietly take it all in, I'd just as soon pass."

McGarrett smiled weakly. "No, Danno. I mean, I explain why I've been a jackass while you decide if you want to remain on the force. Lunch is on me. C'mon, you pick the place. Any place. You name it."

"Alright. I'm thinking steak and lobster and shrimp and a good hefty order of rice and macaroni salad."

"Sizzler's?"

"KC Drive Inn."

"KC 's? They don't have steak and lobster."

Danny shrugged. "They have teriyaki steak. That's good enough for me."

Steve leaned against the doorframe. "Danno. You've got to get out of this mindset of settling for a plate lunch and think big."

"Yeah, but I'm hungry and KC's is right down the street. Besides, I've been itching for KC's after all that hospital food."

Steve nodded toward the corridor. "C'mon, Fruit Punch Kid. Let's go find you some teriyaki steak."

~!~

The remains of their lunch were crushed into balls in their hands and they tossed them into the rubbish and made for Steve's car. Within the hour, they were sitting on the rocks above Pele's Chair, watching the waves crashing thunderously against the cliffs.

Steve squinted as he looked out across the deceptively calm waters of the treacherous Ka`iwi Channel. The constant wind had kicked up the sea-spray, making hazy and nearly invisible the outline of Molokai in the distance. "I read your report, again."

Danny sat up straighter against the cliff face, elbows on his knees, and threw rocks down into the surf below, "Uh huh."

Steve blinked against the buffering wind and eyed a white sooty tern banking over the cliffs. "It occurred to me that…I may have pushed you into writing it before you were ready."

Danny stilled, cleared his throat and kept his eyes on the rocks, below. "Maybe a little."

Steve glanced at him, regret crossing his features. He gently grabbed Danny by the neck and shook him, slightly. "I'm sorry, Danno."

A smile flashed on Williams' downturned face. "Thanks, Steve."

"I'd, uh, I'd like you to consider taking some time to deal with what happened."

"It's not necessary."

Like hell it isn't. "I'd like you to think about it."

Danny looked askance at Steve, unable to distinguish whether the older man was issuing friendly advice or a direct order. "Okay. I'll consider it."

Steve nodded and made a mental note to call the state health department in the morning.

"Was that it? Is that why you brought me out here?"

Steve inwardly sighed. "No, Danno. That's not the only reason. There's… there's something else that came to me while I read through your report."

This oughta be interesting. "Okay. What was it?"

Steve took a deep breath, feeling off-balance against the tension between them. "It occurred to me that you didn't know what was happening outside that room while Auston held you hostage."

"I can guess. A game-plan was being strategized to neutralize the situation."

Steve smiled at Danny's naïve assumptions that were in contrast to the memory of what had really happened. "Yeah," he breathed, remembering Chin's words 'Man's right, boss. Won't help Danny any blowin' your cool'. Steve's eyes hit the ground, "I meant…with me."

Danny swiveled his head toward Steve, who pointedly lifted his gaze past the white flecks and swirling blue waters and toward the distant western cliffs of the Friendly Isle, eyes blinking against the bright sunlight and constant wind.

"When I got the call that you'd been shot…" Steve's eyes hit the ground and he breathed out, trying to control the frantic anxiety that was threatening to well up again. "Hell, Danno, I didn't remember the drive to the hospital. Even now, I have almost no recollection of it."

Williams paused his apprehensive tossing of pebbles into the sea below as he considered Steve's words. From the Palace, across the Pali to Castle Memorial…that's a long way.

"When I got to the hospital, I scolded Kealoha for not going in after you. I forcibly shoved him out of the way to get to you without really thinking it through, without fully assessing the situation."

"I didn't know," Danny finally replied, mindlessly tossing a rock to the water.

Steve shook his head. "It was a stupid thing to do. And I've spent these last few weeks wondering how and why I acted the way I did. Not just that day, but…this last week, too."

Danny spotted the tell-tale dark shape on the horizon of an interisland tug pulling its barge of cargo behind it, a long thin line between them as they skirted the dangerous channel to the south. He felt the anxiety churning in his gut and he shifted against the rocks, "It was a helluva situation, Steve." It was all he could think of to say to ease a tension that had stretched for a week, becoming strained and taut and ready to snap as the conversation wore on.

"Yeah," Steve sighed. "I know. I handled it badly, Danno. But in the end, I was glad I did because it made me come to terms with what was really going on. What I was really reacting to."

Danny tossed a pebble to its watery fate. "Did you…figure out what it was?"

"Yeah. I did."

Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw Danny look straight at him. McGarrett glanced sidelong at Williams for a moment and caught the infinite patience on Danny's face; a patience he wished he possessed. Steve inwardly steeled himself against every harsh word Danny had said to him in his head as he'd run this scenario over in his mind all week. This would be a test between them. Steve watched the sooty tern swoop up and circle high above, its streamlined body and pointed wings dark grey against the milky clouds only to show white against the soft blue of the sky. "I was afraid, Danno."

Danny swallowed and nodded slightly. His eyes dropped momentarily, processing the full weight of Steve's confession before he, too, looked up to see the tern circling lazily along the updrafts. "Of what?"

"Of losing you." Steve sighed heavily, relieved from both the weight lifted from him and Danny's non-judgmental acceptance. He reveled, then, for a moment in the neutrality and the strength and the peacefulness of the sea as he looked out across the channel. "This entire case forced me to examine what I was doing and why. It put me at a crossroads; made me question things. Do I have what it takes to do this job? To be the head of this unit?"

"Steve, you're the most qualified person there is!"

"I don't mean the police work, Danno. The fact is, I was out of control when I heard you'd gone down and I had to ask myself why. I got on your case for being reckless and there I was doing the exact same thing. It made me do a lot of soul-searching. Was I gonna react like that every time one of my team got in trouble or every time you got hurt? For the sake of myself and the team and the people of Hawai`i, I needed to have a concrete answer." Steve took a breath. "You know, my naval commander once confessed that he envied me. He thought I possessed the qualities of a leader, someone who invokes loyalty from other people."

"I would agree with that."

Steve turned his face into the wind. "I suppose. I guess I don't see it in myself. But I see it in you, Danno."

"Me?"

"Yeah. You, my friend. Anyone can barrel through and bark orders, gather facts and make the best decision possible. But you…you have a unique quality that engenders trust, right off the bat," Steve snapped his fingers. "In the short time we've worked together, I've developed a great respect for you. A great sense of loyalty to you, if you will. And…if you'll forgive me for being forward, I've come to think of you as a great friend."

"Thanks, Steve. I'm flattered. Honest. I think of you as a great friend, too."

"You talked about humanity and if I'm gonna have a team, that's the kind of cop I want on it."

Danny watched a pair of terns skimming lazily over the waters toward the far-off cliffs of Molokai, a sense of elation washing over his anxiety, "Okay."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, that I'm considering staying on the job. But if I'm gonna do this, I want you around, Danno. I want you to back me up. I'm just gonna have to learn to let go; gonna have to learn to control my fear a little better. If you're willing to be patient with me, I'd like to try again."

"I'll think about it."

Steve nodded. "Fair enough."

"Think I could get more hazard pay?"

McGarrett considered his colleague with an incredulous eye. "I bought you KC's, what more do you want?"

The younger detective brushed his hands together and stood. "You said I should think big. I was thinking maybe Flamingo Chuckwagon for next time."

Steve slowly squinted up at his detective and shook his head. He had to admit that he sometimes couldn't tell when his right hand man was serious and when he was pulling his leg. "Uh-uh, no way. There isn't gonna be a next time, Danno. Look, I'll make you a deal. You try not to get shot and I'll try to keep my cool."

"Deal." Danny offered Steve a hand up and the two men began to make their way back to the car.

"I mean it, Danno. Think about it. Okay?"

Williams tried to stifle the smile threatening to break out. "Already have. What's our next case?"

Steve hesitated for a moment and allowed a small smile of sheer relief to play on his lips before he matched strides with the younger detective. "Chin's been hot on the trail of a cagey distributor plying his trade out of Kona. Coke, heroin, you name it. I'd like both of you to talk to Big Island police about setting up a sting operation over at Kawaihae…"

The afternoon sun began to burn off the haze in the channel to reveal the distant shores of Molokai.

STAY PAU