Mommy Dearest
By: Cheryl McKinnie
Disclaimer: I don't own any of Stephanie Meyers Characters
Waking Up
I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs my hands flew up instinctively to cover my mouth. I buried my face into my pillow and tried to muffle my crying that came soon after the scream. I usually wake up like this but lately I've been…. Feeling different, my memories I've tried so hard to block are finding a slip entrance into my thoughts. My mother's words haunt me till this day they haunted me for the past 6 years of my life. "Everything is going to be ok" It's echoes in the back of my head, when I think about her the hole in my heart gets deeper. The picture of the last time I saw her replays in my head, I moan into the pillow.
I didn't want to do this I think I want to go back to Forks, but I know I wouldn't be abele to handle it. I have this feeling someone was bound to be alive Auntie Rose, Grandma Esme, or Uncle Emmett. But Jake found no one; we spent a week looking for them or the others, the ones who want to hurt me. We found nothing at all. Thinking about Jake made the hole a little smaller; Jake was my best friend and father figure since I was born he's been there for me. He tries to give me a little breathing room since he sees how hard this is for me, but I can't shake the feeling that someone is alive. I toyed with the locket around my neck " Nothing is ok" I said as I brushed the golden heart around my neck , It's been years since I've opened it I can't it hurts to much.
I Looked p from my pillow and red the big bold red numbers "Wow 3:49 a new personal record" I turned my lamp on and I could hear Jake in the other soon snoring lightly. I looked out my window and saw the full moon with all its glory we just moved to Chicago and week ago and I'm starting school today in a couple of hours. It's the middle of November and I can see the brilliant white snow blowing around it looks so peaceful. I sit up and locate my newest book Generation Dead it's about this world were dying teenagers coming back to life and a human falls for a zombie. I crack open the book and start reading
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I woke up with my face in the book, I was so grateful I didn't have another nightmare. I got up slowly and went to my closet and pulled out my shirt and jeans. I took a shower and changed into my fresh clothes. I tried my best to fake a smile on my way down stairs but it didn't work. As soon as I saw Jake his face fell a little which made it harder to fake smile "Hay Jake" I said please with my voice he smile my favorite smile " Hay Nessie whets up did you sleep well?" "Yeah no nightmare this time" I could see the relief on his face "that's great don't worry about school every- school will be ok" He knows I don't like it when people say everything's going to be fine. I didn't totally lie I didn't have a nightmare... the second time I fell asleep.
We both walked outside Jake got into his car and drove to work while I waited for the bus to come. I really didn't mind the cold that much it's one thing I like about being half a vampire; I still get cold but I'm more efficient than normal humans. I could here the bus a block away. " hmm there'll be here any minute" a couple of minutes later the yellow school bus came chugging down my street " here we go" I said as the bus parked and opened it's doors
Passing Time
I got on the bus and tried to find a seat I walked down the aisle till I heard a bell like voice "would you like to sit with me?' I turned to look at the girl and I could feel the edges of my heart be devoured by the hole. "Sure" I said the wind knocked outta me I crossed my arms around my chest I could feel the little thuds it tried to produce. The girl looked like a human version of Auntie Alice. I had to convince myself that it was not her I could hear the beat of the girl's heart with proved my theory right, she was human.
The Gils was small, pixie like had spiked up black hair deep ever green eyes and an Alice like smile. "Hi my name is Desha but you can call me Dae" she stuck out her hand I shook it and said "hi my name is Vanessa Wolff but you can call me Nessie" " Your new here" she wasn't asking me she was telling me. 'Yeah me and my er brother moved her from…. Forks" she nodded her head. That was a close one me and Jake never thought of our reason for moving here or our relations to each other. "Well welcome to the Chicago the windy city" she said with her bell like voice. : I'm use to bad weather it's not very sunny in … forks" she gave me another Alice like smile and I clutched the hole titter
That was a lie we didn't just move from forks we jut moved from Rio de Janeiro, we moved straight to the U.S when Jake made sure it as absolutely ok. I like Chicago it's better than forks at least I can start anew here. The bus stopped and I saw a big blue sign that read Welcome to McKinley Middle School Home of the Spartans. We got off the bus and Desha had agreed to show me around so we first went to the office to get my schedule.
"Uh Mrs. Yates, Vanessa is new Here and she need her schedule" De said to the women named Mrs. Yates, she was young in her 20's long brown curly hair with eyes to match her rich dark hair, she smiled at me 'why hello Vanessa welcome to McKinley Middle School" "Nessie' was all I said "Oh than Nessie welcome, here is your schedule." Mrs. Yates handed me the papers and looked at my first class which was Homeroom. "Yay we have home room. Math and Science together. "Alice I mean Desha said skipping down the hall with me
We went to home room and taught me about literature circles, I was familiar with this we did this at De Grates middle school last year in the 6th grade. Lucky me today was the day we got to pick books and Mrs. Dales our teacher asked Mrs. If I had any recommendations and I pulled out my book Generation dead and gave a summary. "Well that is a very interesting book to read, who would like to be in a group with Nessie and her book. About 9 hands flew up but she only called on 3 "ok Desha, Liz and Edmund " she called on the children and they got up and sat by me. " Yay I'm very lucky today aren't I" Dae said as she sat down.
Spanish went by and a blink of an eye I spoke fluent Spanish when you live in Rio you got to at least know Spanish to survive. I met up with Desha and Liz in the hallway and we all walked to lunch. When we sat down they introduced them selves "Hi I'm Liz nice to meet you Nessie." I shook hands with her and waved at Edmund across the table. "So how's the snow and bitter cold treating you?" Edmund asked "Not so well I think it's doesn't like me much I almost broke my back leaving the house" We all laughed it's been awhile since I truly laugh I like the feeling of it, it made me warmer .Study hall and math passed in a blur I was waiting to get home when I got out of school and the bitter cold was no joke I was really cold I could only imagine how Desha and the others felt.
"I'm home" I studded as I shuffled into the house and put m book bag by the stairs. Jake took one look at me and walked over to me and hugged me " Ahh warm" I said " your cold " he said as he pushed me to the couch I rolled my eyes. " so how was school?' he asked I showed him everything. When I was done he nodded in approval. "Hmmm very good". I got up and went into the kitchen "hmm I'll have…. A hamburger ""hay Jake you want one?' I asked "two" he replied I rolled my eyes and made the burgers
After I was done I went upstairs and read my book until 10:36 pm I hated night , times like these I wish I didn't have to sleep. I reluctantly put on my pj's and slowly got into bed and waited for the nightmares
Nessie's Dream
It was the last time she dressed me, our last day together I was 7 months old but was bigger and smarter than a 7 month old. She put a black leather bag on my shoulders, her face looked worried but she tried to hide it. "I love you," she said "More than anything" "I love you too, momma" I said playing with my locket. "Well always be together" I said "In our hearts will always be together" she corrected me. The next words haunt me till this day "But when the time comes you have to leave me" she said I put my hand on her cheek and yelled a mental no .She swallowed hard "will you do it for me? Please?" She begged "why?" I asked " I can't tell you," : But you'll understand soon I promise' She said she leaned over and whispered in my ear " don't think of it," '" Don't tell Jacob until I tell you to run away okay" she said I nodded my head She took a beautiful Golden necklace out of her pocket and put it on " pretty" I said as she put it on
You'll understand soon enough enough, enough, enough. The words echoed in my head till I reached conscious. "AHHHHH MOMMY" I yelled before I could stop myself. I heard Jake running to my room he was there in a blink of an eye 'Nessie are you ok!" he asked "Yay bad dream that's all" I tried to swallow the lump in my throat he saw the sadness in my eyes "anything I can do to help?" he asked I could see he was itching for a yes but I let him down. "No just go back to bed I'll be fine." I hated lying to him "ok good night love you" he said as he closed the door.
I curled up into a tight ball a brace myself for sleep. I feel asleep but the dream was not bad it didn't make me scared just sad. I was at grandpa Carlisle's house but it was just a house the love and magic was gone. In a flash I was our cottage I saw Alice moping around on the couch jasper t her side kissing her forehead. I never found out what happened to Auntie Alice and Jasper all I knew is that they ran away. My alarm clock woke me up and I got dressed and left for school. The day passed quickly I notice a neat little pattern was starting up. My new friends are awesome they keep me very distracted. I rebelled against sleep till I just had to I didn't dream about mommy but another Alice dream she was by our old house it Rio she had a picture of something I don't know what. In my dream she was crying real tears. The snow fell off the roof and that's what woke me up.
It was Wednesday I felt out of place the dreams I were having about Alice weren't regular these weren't memories and I don't wake up screaming anymore I actually felt calm when I wake up. I didn't like the look on her face when I dreamt of her she look hopeless jasper was at her side like a shadow always there to calm her down I missed Uncle Jasper and his power to calm." Nessie" I jumped at the sound of my name the only problem is Jake left for work and I was alone well at least I thought I was.
Come back we need you the voice said OMG I am going crazy now there's voices in my head someone put me in a straight jacket .Who are you I asked mentally Find us we need to be… the voice trailed off I was holding a picture of me in Jake in Rio. I remembered how much fun I had in Rio back then I could block the memories so well. Since then I've moved here I feel like I left the ability to block my memories.
Something is telling me something and I'm going to figure it out. I see the old cottage In front of me I see me stepping into in I feel a pull to home I remembered what thee voice said come to me… I didn't feel like I was in my body I was just moving like a robot while my mind tried to make since of this. I was putting thing in bags food money clothes. I ran down stairs bag on shoulders and took a piece of paper and pen and wrote
Jake don't worry I have to do this it's the only way I can be
Sure I'm not crazy. I'll come back in a few days please don't
be mad and don't come for me I'll be fine as I said I will
Come back I can only stand to be away from you for so long.
I Love You
- Nessie
I took off at vampire speed into the woods.
Brace Yourself
It felt good to run, be myself by myself it all took the worries off my mind it was still cold out and I knew
I couldn't run from Chicago to forks so I ran in the direction of O'Hare airport. It was too simply to get a ticket and get on the plane I had a passport and everything. I got on the plane and braced myself for the trip I put my head phone in my mp3 player and listened to rock bands I had two mp3 players the one daddy got me was in my bag I don't listen to it anymore so I got a new on because I couldn't delete the songs off the old one it would have been like erasing my dad
The message from the pilot woke me up. He said we'd be landing shortly. I took my earphone out my ears, my ears hurt from how long they were in there. I stretched my arms and looked at my watched 6:23 pm. I felt a lump in my throat I knew Jake knew I was gone. I left the airport and ran all the way to my old home. When ii got there it look just like it did when I left I saw a log use to jump of and Jake would catch. I slowed down to a walk; a tear rolled down my face wiped it away. I stop, my legs buckled under me I fell down. I' couldn't breathe I'd done it my heart was finally devoured by the hole I was falling apart couldn't control myself no one could. Saw little black dot dance across my eyes I was slowly breathing felt like as floating. I couldn't see didn't want to I just wanted to lie on the forest floor and wait till the hole got all of me.
Theories
If this was dying than it was bearably. The ground under me was so hard I couldn't hear anything or see for that matter. All I heard was the ringing of my own ears. I didn't know what was happing but I was too afraid to leave the comfort and numbness of the blackness. Slowly my ears adapted to sound at fist I heard the ringing with what sounded like a howl. Then my ears adapted and I heard better I still didn't want to move. "Oh God how did she get her!" I heard a voice say my eyes flashed opened. I had two theories1. Desha had fallowed me 2. That Alice had come back from the dead....again. I felt like my body shut down and it was starting back up.
"AAAlice" I croaked in an instant the pixie herself was in front of me. She hugged me, I would start crying but I use all my tears in the forest I just sat there as she hugged me. Is it you?" I asked she nodded " how did you get here?" she asked "Airplane" I said she was going to say something else but I held my hand up in protest "Hold that thought" said I got off the table and walked to the bathroom. when I got out the bathroom I went to the living room and Alice passed me a bottle of water "I made Jasper get food for you" Alice said I nodded I laid in her lap and she told me story about how she was tracking us and how she sucked at it. I almost spit out my water when she said she called Jake. I almost yelled when Jasper came in I was so happy to feel that calming feeling he does. Later I feel asleep in Alice's arms
Home
When I woke up I instantly froze the hand holding me were blazing hot instead of ice cold. I knew it was Jake I felt a ping of guilt for what I had dine. I finally opened my eyes" Nessie how could-" I couldn't let him finish" Jake I'm sorry for what I did I know it was stupid I won't ever do it again." "Nessie I'm not mad at you I'm glad you found Alice I was just so worried" I could hear the worry in his voice. I felt so guilty he lifted my head "And I trust you won't do it again" he said. Alice and Jake were talking I zoned out Alice brought me back to earth " Oh nessie this is going to be great you and Jake can move into the cottage and start over" Alice said I had a puzzled look on my face
"I want to stay in Chicago" I said in a even voice "What?" Alice said "I wan to stay in Chicago" I repeated. I and Alice shared the same confused look. "Oh, well I guess me and Jasper can come to Chicago with you guys" Alice said I hugged her
" Thanks Auntie Alice I promise you'll love it there"
I knew Desha and Alice were going to get along well, laughed at the thought of two Alice's and shudder at the thought of dressing up twice as much
Alice and Jasper packed their things I told them I'd meet them at the house I had to do a couple things first. The others went to grandpa's old house while I went to my parent's old room. Everything looked the same I went over to my mother's old pillow it still smelled like her.
I sat on the bed and after years of dreaming of this opened the locket, there she was the loveliest women in the world. The women who gave her life for me to live. "Everything's going to be ok" I said as I looked at the picture of her with my father the man who my mother loved the most. I left the room to start the life my mother wanted me to have.
The End