Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Twilight; all rights belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Chapter Summary:

This is my life, believe it or not, three years ago I moved to this little town of Forks, Washington to live my dad. I left the world I knew and came to a place that I knew I hated, and still to this day, I am not certain I like it here, but the only thing I have now is my best friend Alice.

My Taunting Past is Uncovered

Bella POV

Dear Journal,

It's been a long time since I had to write down my thoughts but my doctor said it would help if I rewrite some of the past to help me move forward to the future.

For the past two years I have dated a guy, his name is Jacob Black, I thought he was everything I wanted in a man, well for only being fourteen when I meet him, what did I know then? He was one year older than me. He was the person I thought I loved and a person I thought who would always be there for me when I needed him, turns out I was wrong. He was nobody, worse than that; he was useless in every aspect of a human being.

I should have listened to my friends, especially Rosalie, she had been my best friend my entire life, not only because she is my cousin, but she truly is my best friend. We were only two months apart. She moved away from me when we were ten years old, but I will never go without telling her everything going on in my life. She warned me about Jacob, that he was just like every other male with an ego to uphold, and of course I didn't listen then but I have learned from my mistakes.

My dearest friend, Alice, another best friend of mine, has been friends with me since the day we started school in kindergarten. She was ready to give up on me, since I wasn't listening to her about anything she warned me about anyways. She evidently knew Jacob, not personally but through a few other friends of ours in school. I didn't believe any of the lies she tried to teach me of him, I wouldn't listen to them. Jacob was perfect, he went to another school, and I thought he was cool considering he was in a grade ahead of me. What did I know then?

As I am writing this my tears are developing in the corner of my eyes, not because I am sad, but because I know what happened and I can never change that. Thankfully Rosalie and Alice could see through him for the past two years while I dealt with him, and still they had hope, hope I couldn't see until now. I should have never put them aside from me, I needed them in life.

When I was only fourteen years old, I was still a virgin; no one I knew was having sex at the time, so I didn't feel left out, until I meet Jacob, my life changed. I was bored one night while my dad was working late at the police station, so I hopped onto the internet, looking for other people my age in Forks. Not like the town was big or anything, there had to be somebody else with the internet around here. I was chatting with Alice on the phone when a little message popped up in the corner of my screen, which that was the first time I talked to Jacob Black; it was his sixteenth birthday the next day, and that is where it began. I talked to him for three hours that night through our instant messages.

He only lived about 3 miles from my house, neither of us could drive yet, so my dad would drop me off and his mom would bring me home. I always sensed his mom never liked me, but his sister Leigh did. She was a little sister I never had. But there was always something off about his brother Seth, he always looked at me strange, but only now do I understand why.

We had dated for three months, every day of the month that was our anniversary he would buy be a rose, a rose for each month we were together. I loved it, I loved the attention he was giving me and I loved the fact I had someone else to spend time with other than being home alone.

After four months, Jacob pressured me enough to have sex with him, it was my first time, and I thought it was his also, again, I was wrong. I didn't feel normal after that, things changed, he was always pulling me into bedroom with him, after a year of pleasing him and giving him what he wanted. I asked him if we could go somewhere, somewhere else, maybe to one of his school dances. He always had excuses for his dances, but he went to mine with me in my freshman and sophomore year.

Last month, was our one year, eleven month anniversary, when we went for a walk in the park, we needed have a talk. I needed to let him know what was going through my mind, I wasn't happy anymore. After telling him I wasn't happy, I added to the topic at hand and told him I knew he was cheating on me. I wanted to know how long for, when he decided to pull out the puppy dog face and look into my eyes, asking me to forgive him. I couldn't do it; I wasn't going to do it.

This is my life and I need to be in control of it, I wanted to be my own person for a while, and not be with someone that was going to treat me the way he does. Finally he admitted he wasn't a virgin to me the day he took mine away; he also added that he had more than six other girlfriends while he had dated me. I only now know, to never date another guy from a different school. I also found out this is why Seth never liked me, he was routing for the other girls he had brought home for them to meet. I couldn't help but think of why Leigh never told me about them, still even now I wonder why she didn't give me some kind of clue.

That was the day we broke up. When he showed up at my door, my dad still liked him, so I felt I had been pushed aside from my dad's thoughts when I left Jacob. He still knew how to butter up my dad when I wasn't around, I tried telling my dad what happened, but how do you tell your father that you lost your virginity to a man like that? I would be the grounded for it, of course my dad was a cop, but it wouldn't even matter at this point. What could I do, press charges for something I wanted just as much as him at that one moment.

I walked down the hill to my house from where Alice dropped me off; Jacob was standing next to his VW rabbit, with his arms crossed in front of him in my driveway with a smile on his face. A smile which I could kindly remove for him.

"What do you want," I asked him with an attitude, all I wanted was to be left alone. I was finally regaining my trust back from Alice, I couldn't let him ruin that again, plus he isn't worth it. It has already been two years that I didn't even celebrate her birthday with her because they shared the same birthday, I wanted to make everything up to her, all the time we missed out with each other.

"I want you back Bella," he said to me while he grabbed a hold of my arm, I shot back a glare at him.

"You will never touch me again," I yanked my arm from him, "I do not want anything to do with you again," I opened my door to walk into the house, "ever." I said as I slammed the door shut in his face.

I keep my back on the door, hoping I would hear his car start and then he would leave. Of course my dad wasn't home right now when I needed him to be. I waited fifteen minutes before I heard a knock on the back door. I rushed up the steps and there he was, outside of the sliding glass door in my kitchen, with a sad look on his face. "Go away," I said to him while I pulled the curtains closed in front of him.

Then the phone rang, I dreaded picking it up, I knew who it was, "Bella please, just listen to me okay?" He asked me.

"What do you want? Didn't I make it clear when I didn't want to speak to you ever again?" I yelled at him through the phone, guaranteeing he could hear my voice just through the doors.

"Bella, please, I am going to leave a letter out here, just read it, you can call me when you are done reading it if you want too," he paused, I could still hear him breathing, almost sounding like he was crying into the other end, "for me Bella, it is all I ask of you, just read the letter."

"Fine, leave it and go." I said to him while I hung up the phone. A few seconds later I heard footsteps going down the back deck, I began to breathe easily again. I slid open the back door and grabbed the letter, and I laid it on the table.

I looked at for a while, I remember thinking whether I wanted to read it or not, I couldn't help but wonder what was so important that I needed to read it. Deep down, I knew I wanted to read it, a part of me loved him for so long, and a small part of me always will. I picked up the letter and walked towards my room, when I heard something hit the ground. When I looked down I saw a small ring, with a small diamond on it, "Oh god," I could've felt my heart jump out of me chest at that moment.

I fell down to the floor, unfolding the letter from the little square it had been in, and I could feel myself getting dizzy as I read further into the letter.

Dear Bella,

I wish you would talk to me, I wish that we could be together again, if only you would give me one more chance. This is painful for me, I can't sleep, and I can't eat, please Bella. I love you Bella, I always have. Please, you must remember those other girls, meant nothing to me compared to you. You are my life Bella, I want you, forever, and I will keep trying until you realize we are meant to be together.

I have included a ring in here, not to ask you to marry me now, but to ask you to try, once more, for us, let me prove this to you. Someday I want you to be my wife, and someday I want to have kids with you. Please Bella, just think about it.

Remember I love you,

Jacob Black

I felt the tears run down my face after I read that letter, doesn't he know that this causing me more pain than him. I wanted him, I loved him, and at least I thought that I did. I am hoping that things will be different, I want things to look up from here, and that can happen, as long as I do not fall back into his trap again. I refuse to let him walk all over me and get away with it again, he took a part of my life from me that I can never get back from him, I wanted to search for someone that completed me, not stole things from me.

After I called him back, and heard him cry to me, I hung up on him. I sent the ring and the letter back to him, telling him to please stay away from me or I would consider a restraining order. I didn't want him anymore, I didn't know if I was doing the right thing.

This is the beginning of my fresh start, and this part of my life, I am writing on my own, I am not letting a man write it for me, at least as far as I know. Tomorrow is another day, and it will be a good day, because Jacob will no longer be in it. My world will not revolve around him any longer, hopefully he would accept that.

In addition too tomorrow is the beginning of my junior year, Alice and I are close as ever, I would have to remember to plan something special for her birthday coming up in one month. My other dear friend Rosalie is still there, we're not as close we used to be, but one day that will change, I promise, my life will get better. Rosalie may live far, but she will be close one day.

I hope this works,

Isabella Swan

A/N: So this chapter is to fill you in on Bella's past two years of her life, and so, that way I can move on with her life after this. I hope you enjoy, this is a test run to see if anyone likes it so far….So how do you like it? Do you think this is a good beginning? Let me know… please… let me know anything… and I will make it worth your while : )

A/N #2: Okay, yes this is the second time I posted this chapter, but for one some things in here are different, I hope you catch them, I need to specify a few things I forgot to.. So yes I hope you like it.. I shall have another chapter up soon… Thank You for taking the time to read.. now go review! : P