/* Author's note: See profile for standard "I own nothing disclaimer." This is a HP/Blaxploitation crossover I've had in the back of my mind for a bit, so I decided to write it. For those who don't understand that term, Wikipedia it. I'm almost certainly going to drop the n-word fairly frequently, but that's mainly to capture the spirit of blaxploitation. The main cross-over is going to be Black Dynamite (the movie), but I may throw in other films, the main one probably being Blacula, so we'll see where my muse takes me. I'll say it here, I AM NOT A RACIST. This is just something I haven't seen before, and wondered where I could take it. The HP timeframe has been pushed back a little to fit the BD timeline, and Harry will be extremely AU. I may also make a mockery of time/space to fit the story, but I prefer content over accuracy any day of the week, so there ya go. So yeah, here's the prologue. Enjoy! Please read and review. Flames will be used to char animal flesh for my dinner. Manski out.
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"….wrongs to be righted, innocents to defend, Black Dynamite will be there, delivering ass-whuppings, and I will not hesitate to lay the hammer down on any clown that comes around *pulling out nun chucks* Because if they wanna fight, they best come see me, because I'm Black Dynamite."

Following his heroic speech, Black Dynamite decides it'd be in his best interest to leave the United States. President Nixon, despite going along with Black Dynamite's wishes, would not be likely to allow a man with that kind of blackmail material free. So, slipping in a quickie for the First Lady and Gloria on the Presidential bed, he headed to the White House roof, where to his surprise, he found a still-living Cream Corn.

"Cream Corn! How are you still alive! I thought you died in the helicopter explosion!"

"Hell nah, nigga!" *glancing around the roof* "Between you, me, and whatever recording devices currently on us, I'm a wizard. I'm guessing you wanna get outta here, nah?"

"Yeah man, let's split. How we gonna get out?"

"Same way I got out of the copter. It's called apparition. It's gonna feel like you're being squeezed through a small tube. Where you wanna hang out?"

"Let's go to London. There should be a sizeable population of brothers there, and I know some people working for Michael X" Black Dynamite answered.

"Alright BD, let's split back home to pack up our stuff, then we'll head overseas."

Two quick pack jobs and apparitions later, Black Dynamite and Cream Corn landed in an alleyway next to a dingy pub called The Leaky Cauldron. Black Dynamite turns to Cream Corn and asks where they are.

Cream Corn quickly assures Black Dynamite. "It's okay BD, this is the entrance to the magical portion of London. I just need to go to the bank here to deposit my money into wizarding money. If you wanna hang out at the pub, I'll be back soon."

"Alright Cream Corn, but you'd best be quick."

Black Dynamite walks into the Leaky Cauldron and asks what the bartender what kind of malt liquor they serve.

The bartender gives him an odd look and answers. "Olde English mate, what else? Just one?"

Black Dynamite nods and slides over some pounds for the bottle. Looking around the pub, he notices a group of beautiful women: a redhead, two blondes, and two brunettes. Mentally marking them and the amount of what he thought was whiskey they were drinking, he continued to wait for Cream Corn. Shortly before Cream Corn arrived, he noticed that the group was handing out tiaras, the largest for the redhead he heard was named Lily, and heading out into Muggle London. Assuming they were a group of witches going for the redhead's bachelorette party, he continued to wait for Cream Corn.

When Cream Corn finally came out of the Alley and joined Black Dynamite in the streets of Muggle London, Black Dynamite had him quickly apparate the two of them to the apartment Black Dynamite maintains on the shady side of London to settle in. Deciding to go out and try and find that bridal party, Black Dynamite heads to the bar he heard them talking about, The First Post. He surprisingly ran into the group, and joined them on the Golden Mile, the pub crawl they were doing for Lily's bachelorette party. Over the course of the crawl, Black Dynamite learns that the two blondes are named Alice and Hestia, while the brunettes are named Marlene and Andromeda (call me Andi).

Waking up in the morning, Black Dynamite gets dressed while Lily, Alice, Hestia, Marlene, and Andi are all still sprawled over the bed. Lily stirs and talks first. "Black Dynamite, that was the best loving I ever had!"

Marlene and Alice lift their heads and agree, before Black Dynamite shushes them. "Shh Mama, you're gonna wake up the rest of the bitches."

Lily lifts her head again. "You're still coming to my wedding tomorrow, right? I think you'll get along wonderfully with my husband's best man."

"Yeah Mama, I'll be there."

He walks out, and puts the five women he just slept with out of his mind and goes back to his apartment to pick up Cream Corn and head to Michael X's hideout to meet with the brothers he knew. After meeting with a few of the militants, Black Dynamite became more familiar with the situation in Britain, including the war with the Dark Lord Voldemort, thanks to some squib militants with magical relatives. Deciding he had done enough work for one day, he went to Lily's wedding.

As advertised, he got along famously with the best man, Sirius Black, who actually challenged him to a contest of who could sleep with more women at the wedding reception. In a close contest, Black Dynamite won by a count of 11-8. In a show of comradeship, the two men offered to be each other's wingman for the period that Sirius's normal best man, James Potter, was on his honeymoon. Even after James came back, Black Dynamite and Sirius barhopped together, sometimes with James and the rest of their friends, called the Marauders, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Black Dynamite grew close to James and Sirius, and was even at the birth of James and Lily's firstborn.

When Lily finally gave birth to the baby, everybody present immediately noticed that the baby was black, and Lily realized that the fling she had with Black Dynamite before her marriage was her conception, not James during the honeymoon like they had thought. James was of course disappointed the child wasn't his, but as it turned out, he'd had sex with the stripper at the bachelor party and she had gotten pregnant too, so he couldn't exactly point fingers. Lily and James named their son Harry Rahim Potter.

The stripper, who was actually Andi's little sister Narcissa, had gave birth a week earlier to a boy she named Damien Charlus, who thankfully looked exactly like his father (Narcissa being married to, as she put it, "A right cunt of a man").

Swearing the healers at each birth to silence in an effort to minimize the scandal of a couple each having a child out of wedlock without their spouse, Lily and James decided to treat Damien as their heir and raise Harry with Black Dynamite's assistance.

So, James, Lily, Black Dynamite, Damien and Harry moved into the Potter cabin in Godric's Hollow. Shortly thereafter, Cream Corn moved back to America, saying that Black Dynamite no longer needed him, and his mother did. The small family of the Potters and Black Dynamite together, and all was well until that fateful Halloween.

When Voldemort came knocking on Halloween, James was downstairs making dinner. Voldemort quickly shot him in the back with the Killing Curse, not allowing him to call out and alert the family. Lily, reading in the first-floor library, was not even aware of Voldemort's presence before he killed her with another Killing Curse. Voldemort, thinking he was alone, quickly made his way to the nursery, where he figured Harry was.

Walking into the nursery, Voldemort was surprised to see there were two cribs in the nursery. Figuring the black child was the child of whatever help the Potters had hired, he turned his wand on Damien. So focused was he on killing Damien and casting the spell to create his seventh Horcrux into Godric Gryffindor's codpiece that he didn't hear Black Dynamite come up behind him and shoot him in the head.

Voldemort's soul fled his body, but not before a piece split off and latched onto Damien, a side effect of stopping the Horcrux process where it was stopped. But none of this was seen by Black Dynamite, who, after shooting Voldemort in the head, turned to check on his one-year old son. Recognizing that nothing was wrong with him, he turned to check on Damien. He swore to himself when he saw the cut on his forehead, and quickly wrapped it up in a bandage. Thanking god that neither child was crying, he sat and waited for Sirius to show up, as he knew he would.

Not even five minutes later, Sirius showed up. He knew that Black Dynamite would look after Harry, but knew that he, as little Damien's godfather, was responsible for taking him in a caring for him. He told Black Dynamite to split the scene and head back to America, and that he would take care of the fallout of Voldemort's death.

Damien was quickly hailed by "The Boy Who Lived" by the wizarding community and moved in with Sirius, despite efforts made by Albus Dumbledore to have Damien move in with his muggle aunt and uncle. On the other side of the family, Harry and Black Dynamite moved to Harlem, where they met up with Cream Corn. Black Dynamite, thinking that Harry was "too white" a name for a black baby in Harlem, decided the boy would go by his middle name, Rahim. However, most of the neighborhood got into the habit of calling the boy Lil Black, short for Little Black Dynamite. Over time, however, this was shortened to Lil B by most people.

/* Phew, that's done. What'd you think? Please leave a review! Thoughts on a pairing, ideas for an ending, more cross-overs you want to see, I'll take any and all of it! Except flames, those I'll read and delete. Next chapter will be a huge time-skip, including some flashbacks to the contents of those years. Harry probably won't get to Hogwarts until fourth year during the tournament. I may wind up pushing back the Hogwarts start date till 13, and push back the age of majority to 18. Don't like it? Deal with it. There's the door. No, not there, that's the wall. Little to your left, back a little, right there. Anyways, read and review! Please! Manski out.
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