Torchwood: Breakdown.

Disclaimer: The BBC owns torchwood and its characters not me. The most expensive thing I own is my mobile.
Set after Combat

Gwen sat at her computer in the hub supposedly doing admin, but she wasn't concentrating, she was thinking about the mess she had created. She didn't blame Torchwood; she should have been able to keep work separate from personal life. She managed it with the police force. Ok, the police force was not a patch on Torchwood, but it was the same principal. She sighed, how could she have let all of this happen? She was fine with Rhys, she was happy with Rhys. Then Owen came along he messed with her head, he made her want him, so she did. She was pissed off at Owen even though he was currently lying in hospital after being attacked by a weevil. She supposed she expected him to go off with someone else, for him to lose interest in her. But she still cared about him, not loved; Gwen didn't think she had ever loved him, just cared deeply. Then she went on to drug Rhys, what had he done? He'd done nothing, she did it like it was normal, and she just needed to tell him she felt so awful. She didn't even love Owen, and she had gone and slept with him behind Rhys's back. After he fell asleep which was surprisingly quickly, she panicked and ran out of the house to the hub. It was empty, too empty that she couldn't bear it. She was going to ring Jack, Gwen liked Jack so much but she knew he was hiding something, which was dark and dangerous, but it didn't stop her trusting him. However the text on Dan Hodgkins phone interrupted her. Thinking back if it hadn't been for that, there was a strong possibility Owen may not have survived. Gwen shuddered at this thought; she was annoyed at him but not that annoyed.

She glanced around the hub, it was empty, Owen was in hospital, Tosh and Ianto had gone home, and Jack was likely to be in his office. She couldn't go home, not after what she had done, hopefully Jack wouldn't notice her as she knew she would not be able to hold it back, there was something about him which made you trust him completely and want to talk to him which made you feel safe like nothing on this earth. She put her head in her hands and tried not to let the tears fall- everything was such a mess.

Jack sat at his desk in the hub the conversation with Owen at the hospital still ringing in his ears:
Just for a moment in the cage I felt at peace, then you came blundering in…
He shook it from his mind and tried to study the documents in front of him, but was having great difficulty, perhaps he'd go and have a drink in a bit to calm down. He knew sleep was out of the question he didn't tend to sleep these days he didn't really need to. Jack stopped at how painfully familiar this trait was to him. He glanced round the hub as far as he knew it was empty Owen was in hospital, Tosh had left muttering something about meeting a friend and Ianto had gone on Torchwood business then said he was going on home. And Gwen she.. she had… then he remembered that he hadn't seen Gwen since returning she'd been extra quiet and he could have sworn she had been crying. But he had said nothing, she would have only said everything was fine. He looked in the direction of her desk and saw a figure leaning on the desk with her head in her hands.

She felt tears sting the back of her eyes, which were inevitably going to fall. Everything was finally catching up with her and there was nothing Gwen could do about it. She just wanted someone to hug her and tell her everything was going to be all right. And as if someone was listening she felt arms go round her waist and pull her close. Gwen looked up into the eyes of Jack who said nothing just held her and without warning Gwen cooper broke down into floods of tears into the arms of Captain Jack Harkness.

He held her tight, he didn't know what was wrong but he was sure he would soon find out. She looked up at him hurt clear in her eyes, tears glistening at the back of them. Suddenly, she collapsed into his arms so that he stepped back and knelt down so he could hold her properly as sobs heaved through her body Jack sensed she had been holding it back for a while. He ran his fingers through he soft silky hair and tried to soothe her to no effect. Jack was suddenly hit by memories he'd rather forget.

He'd discovered a particularly cosy looking room with a cheerful fire and a terracotta sofa and was sat reading a novel from the TARDIS library. He liked life now, it was starting to pick up, but he thought he'd better not speak too soon. The door creaked open and Jack looked up, a teary looking Rose came and sat next to him he attempted the light hearted approach but before he could say anything she had broken down into his arms, this was the second time this week and he still wasn't sure why. His hand naturally went to stroke her soft blonde hair, he never asked question her was just there for her.

Gwen looked up she was in Jack arms on the floor she couldn't quite work out how she had got there but wasn't complaining he saw her look up and helped her up she saw his eyes questioning but his lips said nothing. She gingerly sat down on the sofa and Jack came and sat next to her. He took her hands into his; she shivered at his cool touch. He looked her in the eye his gaze trustworthy but curious. After a few moments he spoke. 'I'm no expert but I can tell this is no little tiff.' Gwen looked away sheepishly not saying a word. This was going to be a long night.

He sat and listened as she told him about how guilty she felt sleeping with Owen, about how she was drowning in guilt and lies. She told him how she grown distant from Rhys but he was her normality, and she couldn't leave him. She told him about the argument she had with Owen in the car and that she felt used. And finally she told him that she had drugged Rhys. Jack made an involuntary move back, shocked at what he had just been told but then waited for an explanation. 'I know it sounds stupid but I wanted to tell him and for him to forgive me then I'd feel better but now I feel ten times worse because he didn't forgive me and because I drugged my own boyfriend.' She clasped a hand to her mouth the truth hitting her like a number 10 bus of what she'd done. Her head fell into her hands again. 'Oh Jack, what have I done.' He put an arm around her, wishing there was something he could do. 'I can't go home, I just can't face him.' Jack suddenly thought:
'Gwen you didn't leave any evidence.' She tensed as she thought back
'N.no I'm pretty sure I was careful.' Jack nodded, his face relaxing, he sighed and paused thinking carefully about how to word this; he didn't want to upset her further. 'You know, I said from the start you've got to be able to manage normal life and Torchwood. You can't let them slip and mingle together. I can't make it better for you, or even tell you how to make it better. That's something you have to do for yourself Gwen.' She nodded and he remembered what she said 'I know you said you didn't want to go back home tonight well there's a spare bed in the back if you want to stay here' He paused. 'With me.' Her face relaxed into a grateful smile 'Thanks Jack.' She threw her arms around him so glad someone understood at long last.

She threw her arms around him it felt strange someone letting him feel this kind of emotion again. It was a nice emotion it was a kind of love, friendship. 'You should never keep all that locked up, I'll always be here for you. Oh god. How cliché is that?' Gwen half laughed. Jack smiled inside, he loved her smile it was so warm and genuine. She was a genuine person and he loved her for that. He rose to his feet before his thoughts took a path he wasn't sure he was ready to take again. 'I'll show you to the bed, its not much I'm afraid but its safe, warm and clean.'
'I'm sure it will be great, better than lying at home feeling ten times more guilty than I feel now.' Jack nodded and led her past his office and down a few steep steps to a small room where Gwen would sleep. 'The beddings clean I don't sleep much if I do I usually just nod off in my office.' He switched on a dusty bedside lamp on a small oak table; he moved some papers and what looked like a diary off a desk opposite the bed. He pointed to a door 'there's a small bathroom through there' Gwen smiled gratefully 'Thanks for everything.' 'No problem.' He turned to leave but stopped. 'You know where I am if you need me. Goodnight.' And with a sweep of a jacket Gwen was alone. She sighed, kicked off her shoes and collapsed onto the bed. A single tear fell down her cheek.

Back in his office Jack slumped onto his chair. He felt helpless, he knew Gwen wasn't alright, she wouldn't be for a while but after a bit everything becomes a little clearer, and things don't hurt as much. He still didn't think she realised that he was there for her in more ways than one. He flicked the monitor on and logged in, as he waited for it to load up he glanced in the direction of the room at least she wouldn't be alone tonight.

And neither would he.