[A/N: Hello, hello! This is just one of the many new ideas that have come to me about these two stupid, wonderful people. I dedicate this to the person who taught me what Niles's last name is. This takes places in the 4th season for no other reason than their excessive flirtiness and how hot they both looked.]
Disclaimer: The characters in here are not mine, but does anyone know how I could go about making them mine?
Double Date
"Hello, Sheffield residence?" Niles greeted into the telephone. He smiled pleasantly when he realized who the person on the other end of the phone was and then grumbled when he saw Babcock stroll into the kitchen. Still, he was surprised to find his heart speeding up. He'd only been on one date with Shelby so far—did she really affect him that much already?
Niles listened as Shelby began talking, adding a "hmm" and "yes" where necessary in the conversation, but his attention honed in on Miss Babcock, who had a suspiciously innocent look plastered on her face.
"Niles, coffee," CC said, snapping her fingers and leaning against the island.
Niles snapped his fingers sarcastically back at her and pointed to the telephone.
"Maxwell doesn't pay you to call Dial-a-Date, Hazel," CC told him, her face darkening in what Niles privately called her pre-caffeine state. He often thought to himself that if he were a zoologist, he could publish several papers on the primate Babcock and her habits.
Still, he ignored her and made sure to respond with a "yes, Shelby" so that she knew he was talking to a woman.
CC narrowed her eyes at him and pulled a small bowl of peanuts towards her. Niles turned to the side, content that CC was occupied for the moment, when he felt a hard nut connect with his temple. He spun around quickly, just in time for CC's next launch to land squarely between his eyes.
Infuriated, he picked up one of the fallen ammunition and chucked it back at her, but he threw it too hard and he missed wide.
CC laughed at his attempt. "Weak," she muttered, shaking her head.
Niles swiped the hose from the faucet, turned on the water, and set a jet of water arcing her way. CC dove out of the way, but only just: a small spray of water hit its target and soaked CC's shoulder. Niles held up the hose menacingly and CC put both hands in the air in momentary surrender.
Niles nodded and set the hose back, his hand still lingering near it in case she got any more ideas. At this point, however, Niles realized he'd ignored Shelby for a solid minute. He returned to the telephone conversation, giving his sincerest apologies and insincerest lies about what had distracted him, at which CC loudly and derisively snorted.
She settled for leaning against the counter and sighing at the coffee machine while Niles finished his conversation.
As Shelby continued on, however, Niles gulped and glanced over at CC. He looked away—a mistake, for CC took the opportunity to shoot some more peanuts at him—and then hung up the phone, setting it down carefully on the counter.
"It's about time, Gabby," CC said. "Chop, chop. Make my coffee."
"You do realize that the in amount of time and energy you expended, you could have just made the damn coffee yourself?" Niles grumbled.
"Such a grouch, and so early," CC tsked disapprovingly.
Niles elected not to respond in favor of making her coffee and for reasons a little more selfish, too. He needed to ask her something.
CC drummed her fingers on the counter and then smacked it impatiently. "Why is it so slow?"
"I realize most of your dates are finished in half this time, but do be patient, Miss Babcock," Niles told her.
CC narrowed her eyes at him. "If I hadn't had such a disastrous date last week, I might respond to that, but unfortunately, I must agree with you."
Niles grimaced when he caught onto her meaning. "That's unfortunate."
"Indeed."
"You know," Niles began, suddenly inspired, "the best thing to do to get over a bad date is to go on another one. So what would you say…" Niles trailed off as he took the carafe away from the machine and poured her a steaming mug, missing the strangely hopeful look that had come over her face. "…to going on a double date with Shelby and me?"
By the time Niles had added her preferred amounts of milk and sugar, her face had rearranged itself into a more indifferent look. "A double date with a butler and his blow-up doll? No thanks."
She went to grab the mug but he pulled it back carefully.
"You owe me one, Babcock," Niles told her.
CC's eyes widened. "I do not!"
"Oh. Right. Er…how about I owe you one?" Niles suggested. She loved when he was in her debt, he knew. As a gesture of goodwill, he handed the steaming mug to her.
She took it and held it up to her face to waft in the delicious caffeine aroma, contemplating his proposal. Then suddenly, as though a distasteful thought had occurred to her, CC asked, "Why are you asking me? Why not Nanny Fine?"
Before his mind could even consider that question—for surely his quickness to invite his alleged nemesis to social events could not go unnoticed forever—Niles answered, "She refuses to go on blind dates anymore after the Brooklyn debacle." Niles fervently hoped she didn't ask for details about the Brooklyn debacle, for there was no Brooklyn debacle, but he put all his chips on CC's disinterest in Miss Fine's love life.
It paid off. With a roll of her eyes, CC waited a few more moments before answering. "If I said yes—and I'm not saying yes yet—who would I be going with?"
Niles kept his face impassive, but he knew he'd won. CC Babcock was not a woman who wasted her time; if she had decided not to go, she would have left the kitchen after getting her coffee. And yet Niles didn't consider why the woman would agree to spend time outside of the house with her alleged nemesis. "Shelby's brother. He lives in Pennsylvania but he surprised her this—"
"Can it, Spam," CC interrupted, taking a sip of her coffee. Her eyes closed unconsciously, her face one of undiluted pleasure, and Niles felt his stomach flip. "I'm not interested in details. There's only one thing I need to set straight: by agreeing to go with you, you owe me one favor, any favor of my choosing, to be used at any moment in the future."
Niles stared at her, his stomach now squirming with nerves. He might make shots at her intelligence from time to time, but she was a remarkably creative woman and it concerned him that whatever favor she chose might not be worth a double date with a woman he was, on the whole, iffy about anyway.
But the evening now seemed promising, so Niles held out his hand and they shook on it, sealing his fate in one way or another.
Niles slid to a stop in front of CC's building, the Porsche purring under him until he turned it off. He climbed out of the car but spied CC leaning against the white brick of her building, her eyes rolling.
"Daddy let you borrow that car?" she remarked as he walked around the vehicle and she met him halfway on the sidewalk.
Niles eyed her up and down, as he was wont to do. She might be his enemy, but he wasn't blind. "Miss Fine let you borrow that dress?"
"What a terrible thing to say!" CC exclaimed, visibly offended. She spun around on her heel, the skirt of her black dress fanning out attractively, and made to walk back into her building.
"No, no," Niles said, catching the crook of her elbow just in time. "I meant it as a compliment."
"You must not know me at all, then," CC said, self-consciously tugging down the skirt of the dress.
"You look very…" Niles tried to settle on a word as he considered the sleeveless black frock she wore. No, he decided, he'd been wrong; Fran wouldn't have worn a dress with such a deep v-cut in the front. She didn't have quite the same…assets that Miss Babcock did. Still, the soft fabric clung to her appealingly, hugging her slim waist, then fell into a flowing skirt that stopped mid-thigh. A diamond drop necklace fought for attention amidst CC's décolletage but ultimately lost. "Nice," Niles said, his voice a little strangled. He cleared his throat and tried again. "You look very nice."
"Nice?" CC echoed skeptically, arching an eyebrow. His eyes upon her had certainly suggested more than just nice. He offered her his elbow to walk to the car, but CC brushed it aside and walked ahead of him, her strappy heels clacking noisily against the concrete.
Niles smiled at the sight of her shiny red toenails and followed before he became too distracted by the swish of her skirt.
"Shouldn't you have picked your girlfriend up first, Niles?" CC asked as she settled against the leather of the seat.
"Her apartment is closer to the restaurant she chose," Niles explained. He felt compelled to add, "And she's not my girlfriend."
CC checked her lipstick in her compact mirror and saw her lips curve into a smile. Several comfortable, quiet moments later, she glanced around and her brow furrowed. "I didn't know your girlfriend was poor, Niles. Though I guess it does make sense. They say poor dates poor."
Niles tossed a glare at her. "She isn't poor. This isn't the Upper East Side, no, bu—"
"Then she's poor," CC cut across him.
He stopped the car in front of a brownstone converted into apartments and looked at her expectantly. She glanced back at him, nonplussed. "Get in the back!"
"CC Babcock doesn't sit in the back seat," she told him, affronted.
"I know you're only used to working in back seats, but come on, Babcock. Let my girlfriend sit next to me."
"I thought she wasn't your girlfriend," CC grumbled.
"Get," Niles ordered, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder. CC glared at him witheringly, unbuckled her seatbelt, and opened the door. Pulling a lever, the seat fell forward and CC climbed in awkwardly, though still affording Niles an excellent view of her cleavage. Niles looked out of the windshield and waved as he saw Shelby and her brother walking towards the car. He pushed the passenger's seat back into place, ignoring the smack of leather on skin and the yelp that told Niles he'd knocked CC with the seat.
"Damnit, Niles," CC said, settling into place behind him and glancing at herself in the rearview mirror. She fixed her hair as Shelby's brother slid into place behind her, glowering when she realized that Niles hadn't even needed to push the seat into her in the first place. Grunting in response to Shelby and her brother's hellos, CC pulled her compact back out and checked her makeup again.
"Shelby, this is CC Babcock, Max's business partner," Niles told his girlfriend, a cheerful brunette with a perky nose. CC hated her but was more distracted by Niles referring to his boss as "Max." She raised her eyebrows in the rearview mirror at Niles, who seemed to be determinedly ignoring her.
"Nice to meet you, CC," Shelby said with a smile. "I'm Shelby, and this is my brother, Henry."
"Pleasure to meet you," Henry said, grinning at CC. He held out his hand and CC shook it, grudgingly admitting that he wasn't terrible to look at. Better-looking than his sister, anyhow.
Niles drove off, evidently aware of the restaurant's location, and listened as Shelby and Henry described their day. Always comfortable in social situations, Niles showed himself to be a good listener, asking the right questions and laughing politely in the right places.
So it was CC who slightly dampened the mood by scrunching her nose in disgust and turning to Henry to ask, "I take it you had a great deal of garlic for lunch, then?"
Henry's face turned bashful and Shelby looked at CC askance. She might not have felt so alienated had she met Niles's eyes in the rearview mirror, but alas, she just kept looking at Henry as though she expected him to answer the question.
"Oh, uh…I…well, maybe I did…" Henry trailed off.
"Niles, give Henry a piece of gum," CC said. "Don't worry, Niles always has gum on him."
With a sigh, Niles grabbed a stick of spearmint and handed it to Henry, who mumbled a thank you, and the atmosphere turned a little more sour. CC, whose olfactory system was no longer in panic mode, simply stared out of the window at parts of the city she'd never seen before.
"Niles, this is a great car," Henry told him robustly in an attempt to regain the amicable feel.
Niles darted a glance at CC, whose profile continued to be illuminated by the fading sunshine, and replied, "Yes, thanks, er, we're here!" He stopped abruptly, feeling CC's knees crash into the back of the seat, and quickly parallel parked in a free spot a few feet from the door.
Henry climbed out of Shelby's side and CC waited for Niles to push his own seat forward. The gap here was smaller, so Niles automatically reached for her hand and helped her steady herself, his hand unconsciously smoothing the fabric at her back and CC just as unconsciously not remarking upon the gesture.
"They don't think this is your car, do they?" CC asked as she let go of Niles's hand and tossed back her hair. Niles shrugged noncommittally, closing and locking the door. He quickly joined Shelby and Henry, who headed towards the entrance, and CC followed, a little skeptically.
A torrent of noise greeted CC as she entered the restaurant, noticing the lack of any unifying décor and a rather large number of people in the entryway.
"It's only a 20-minute wait," Shelby informed the rest of the group after having spoken to…well, CC wasn't sure. Could a man in his twenties not dressed in a tuxedo count as a maître d'?
"What?" CC asked.
"A 20-minute wait," Shelby repeated.
"I heard you, but I don't understand what you're saying," CC explained.
Shelby looked from Niles to Henry, confused. "We have to wait for a table. It's a Friday night, after all."
"You didn't make a reservation?" CC asked Niles, rolling her eyes. "Useless."
"They don't take reservations here, Babcock," Niles told her.
"What?"
Niles rolled his eyes but a smirk still graced his face. "Ignore her. She's never been off of Park Avenue before."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," CC muttered.
"How about a round of drinks?" Henry suggested. Shelby and Niles nodded in agreement.
"I'll have—" CC began.
"I know," Niles interrupted, cutting her off with a wave of his hand. "Come on, mate, I'll help you."
CC watched his retreating back, her eyes traveling lower as they often did, but she stopped when she realized Shelby might have noticed. Still, she was never one for small talk, so CC stood in silence amidst the crowded, noisy restaurant.
"So you work with Niles, then?" Shelby asked.
"I—" CC stopped herself, about to repeat that she was Max's business partner. Did the woman really say with Niles? "What?"
Shelby looked at CC strangely. "You work with Niles?"
"With…?" CC repeated.
Niles returned, bearing two glasses of whiskey, and handed one to CC. She looked at him confusedly, but Shelby appeared relieved that she'd be able to converse with someone who could hear the words she said now. CC watched Henry hand Shelby a white wine spritzer and looked at Niles, eyebrows raised. "Play nice," he said under his breath. "Cheers, CaCa."
They clinked glasses and took a sip in unison. A group of rowdy men entered the restaurant and bumped into CC, nearly upsetting her glass. Niles automatically placed a steadying hand on her waist as CC glowered over her shoulder.
"Hold this," she told Niles, either not noticing or not caring that Henry had begun telling a story. She walked over to the young man she'd decided was not, after all, the maître d'. A few moments later, CC returned to the group, interrupting Henry again, and said, "Our table's ready."
"It hasn't even been five minutes," Shelby said.
"What a great way to thank me," CC grumbled, taking her drink from Niles's hand and following the waiter. Niles smiled as they followed her, but it was a private smile, and it was with some degree of shock that he tried to wipe it from his face when he saw Shelby peering at him inquisitively.
They sat at a square table, CC across from Shelby, and sipped their drinks while the waiter recited the specials, none of which CC understood. Buffalo wing? Pot sticker? Where was she?
CC spied Shelby leaning over to say something to Niles, quietly enough that with the hum and din of the restaurant, she couldn't hear it. Irked by this—how rude to exclude the rest of the table in a conversation—CC turned to Henry and said, "So, Harry, what do you do for a living?"
Henry cleared his throat and leaned forward a little. "It's Henry, actually."
"What?" CC asked, her attention half on him and half on Shelby's hand on Niles's arm.
"It's Henry."
"What kind of job is that?"
"It isn't a job, it's a name."
"Hmm," CC replied, her eyes burning a hole in Shelby's hand. What sort of ring was that? Sterling silver? She snorted. She finished her whiskey and looked around for her refill. Never before had she needed to request a refill in a restaurant. Truly, where was she? Was this how the poor had to live?
"So, Niles, Shelby tells me you're a private chef?" Henry said in a brave attempt at conversation with anyone at the table.
CC paused, her hand frozen in midair as she had been attempting to wrangle attention from one of the many aproned people walking briskly through the tables. She turned around to face the table again, her eyes as wide as the plates bearing the appetizers with which CC was so unfamiliar.
Niles's eyes darted from CC's to Henry's before replying, "Yes, uh, yes, I've been a private chef for Maxwell for 20 years now."
CC tried to swallow her laughter and only succeeded in having a violent coughing attack.
"Are you all right?" Henry asked, leaning forward and placing a warm hand on CC's bare arm. Niles's eyes strayed from CC's watering eyes, so full of mirth, and landed on Henry's hand. He experienced an irrational desire to swat it away.
"I'm fine," CC said in an especially honeyed voice, giving Henry a dazzling smile. "I just found something a little hard to swallow." She gave Niles a pointed look and he took a large sip of his whiskey.
"More drinks? I'll get more drinks," Niles said, glancing around for their waiter. Forgetting what he looked like, Niles grabbed his and CC's glasses and walked off in the direction of the bar.
CC smirked after him, laughter in her eyes, and looked over at Shelby.
"How long have you known Niles, then?" Shelby asked, her face inscrutable.
"Almost 18 years," CC said after doing some quick math in her head. The number brought her up short. Had this man really been a part of her life for 18 years? 18 long years of bickering, insulting, pranking? 18 years of mixed signals, smoke signals, no signals?
Shelby nodded. "Wow. That's a long time."
CC nodded, too, humbled into silence.
Niles returned, setting down CC's drink in front of her. "Any exciting discussions while I was away?"
CC understood his question to be one for reassurance, not curiosity. He wanted to know if she'd blown his cover. "Shelly was asking how long we've known each other and I told her—"
"18 years," Niles supplied, his eyes twinkling a bit. "Hard to believe."
"It is," CC agreed.
"It's Shelby" cut through the nostalgia momentarily linking the two together, and Niles and CC both turned to look at his date, who was staring at Niles, a little irritated.
"Yes, right," Niles said quickly. "It's Shelby, Babcock. Whiskey kill some more brain cells?"
"At least I have a few left," CC shot back.
The waiter returned, chastened to see that the two blondes had refilled their drinks on their own, and asked if they'd like to order any appetizers.
"How about the private chef suggests something?" CC offered, her lips twitching.
Niles ignored her and gave a few suggestions to the table. Henry deferred to Niles's judgment and Shelby seemed to prefer watching her spritzer disappear. Niles tossed a glance at CC, who lobbed a shrug back. He rolled his eyes and gave the order to the waiter, who nodded and hurried off.
"Anyhow, Henry, pardon my rudeness, what do you do for a living?" Niles asked.
"Yes, Henry, tell Niles all about it," CC agreed, giving Henry a winning smile.
Mollified by her flirtatiousness, Henry grinned a little bashfully and replied, "I work for a firm that specializes in statistical analysis and data reconfiguration."
CC looked at Henry blankly. "That isn't what you told me earlier."
"I didn't tell you anything earlier. I was correcting you because you called me Harry," Henry explained.
"Well, Harvey, that sounds like a fascinating career," CC said, leaning forward on the table.
Henry continued explaining his day-to-day duties, and to her credit, CC actually did find it quite interesting. There was something appealing to her highly logical brain about a job that essentially analyzed the logic of data. She laughed genuinely at a slightly corny joke Henry told her and then yelped loudly when Niles's toe connected painfully with her shin.
"Oops," he said, his face a mask of innocence.
"Oops?" CC seethed, rubbing her already-tender leg.
"It was an accident," Niles said innocuously. "I got a leg cramp."
"An accident?" CC repeated, snorting in disbelief.
"If he says it was an accident…" Shelby began fairly.
"Oh please," CC snapped. "How long have you known him?"
"Not for 18 years," Shelby muttered, rolling her eyes.
"Exactly, 18 years. 18 years I've been putting up with this troll and his 'accidents'," CC ranted.
"As though knowing you for 18 years has been a treasure," Niles retorted. He turned to Henry. "Imagine looking at that mug almost every day for 18 years." Niles put on an exaggerated grimace that was clearly supposed to be an imitation of CC's face, and were she not more annoyed, CC would have laughed at the attempt.
"Oh, I'm not sure I'd mind," Henry said, smiling at CC, who beamed back.
"Oh, who asked you," Niles glowered.
"You did," CC reminded him, gently patting the top of his head. "Senile, you know. Age has really ravaged his brain," she said conspiratorially to Henry.
"Not as much as it's ravaged your face," Niles tossed at her.
"This from a man whose face is like a physical map of the Grand Canyon."
"Oh, that's right, you remember when it was just a small valley, don't you?"
"Tell me, Niles, what was it like scrubbing the toilets in King George's castle?"
"A sweet vision after seeing your face."
"Niles, your date just left," CC informed him.
"What?" Niles asked, glancing over at Shelby's now-vacated seat. "Oh, crap…" He stood and rushed towards the exit, as fast as he could go in the crowded lanes between tables.
"Should I…?" Henry asked, hovering between standing and remaining in his seat.
"Bye, Hank," CC said, waving him off indifferently as she took another sip of her whiskey.
Out on the sidewalk, Niles felt the spring air stroke his face as he caught up to his date. "Shelby, wait. I'm sorry."
Shelby turned to him, though she didn't appear angry. Her face held a more resigned aspect. "Sorry for what, Niles?"
"For sparring with Babcock back there," Niles replied.
"Niles, why did you invite her?" Shelby asked, shaking her head a little. Her brother exited the restaurant and gave them a respectful distance.
Niles's face crumpled a bit. "Well, you called and said you'd like a date for your brother…"
"No, no, why did you invite her, specifically?"
"Oh. She was there."
Shelby narrowed her eyes a little skeptically. "There wasn't anyone else to ask? At dinner last week, you mentioned you were quite close to the nanny."
Niles shifted, uncomfortable. He doubted he could use his "Brooklyn debacle" lie with Shelby. She asked more questions than Babcock did, apparently. "I…well…Miss Fine is rather taken with Max and—"
"I'm making you uncomfortable," Shelby said, shaking her head and toeing the pebbles at her feet. "That's not my intention. When I asked why you were sorry, Niles, I thought you'd realize it was because you've been paying all of your attention to CC all night."
He considered protesting in some fashion but knew how inconsiderate it would be.
She placed a friendly hand on his forearm. "I'm not angry, Niles. I'm a little irritated, sure, but…" Shelby rolled her eyes. "You guys are actually kind of cute."
At this, Niles took a full step back and stared at Shelby as though she were crazy. "Whoa, whoa. You sound like you're trying to imply something."
Shelby laughed at the look on Niles's face. "Oh, Niles. You probably don't even realize how often tonight you touched her, and you practically turned into the Incredible Hulk when she pretended to flirt with my brother."
"I…" Niles began. He had no idea where he'd been planning to go with his protestations, but it felt very important to him that he continue trying to insist that Shelby was wrong.
"All I can hope is that someone gets as excited to talk to me as you get when you start fighting with her," Shelby told him.
"Shelby, I'm sorry, but you've got the wrong idea," Niles said, shaking his own head now. "We aren't…she and I aren't…we're enemies. We're barely friends."
Shelby grinned and leaned closer to him. "Don't worry, Niles. She likes you too." She patted his shoulder once in a friendly farewell and joined her brother, walking away.
Niles stood alone on the sidewalk, feeling a familiar pressure from the voice in his head that usually tried to speak loudest when matters of Babcock came up.
But as usual, Niles ignored that wriggling in his brain and scoffed at what Shelby had said. "I didn't even touch her tonight," he said to himself, shaking his head again. He sauntered back into the restaurant and slid into his seat, surprised to find another drink sitting beside his half-finished one.
"So," CC said as he scooted his chair closer to the table, "there was a 20-minute wait, she brought her brother, and she left before the appetizers arrived. All in all, history will remember this as one of your better dates."
"Shut it, Babcock," Niles grumbled. "I'm surprised you didn't fly off on your broomstick at the first chance."
"I'm surprised you didn't leave. Ditching me at a restaurant seems like the perfect pranking opportunity for you."
Niles polished off his second whiskey, mostly to keep from having to respond. The thought hadn't even occurred to him—and that surprised him. Why hadn't it occurred to him? He seldom missed out on chances to prank her. Setting down his empty glass near the edge of the table, Niles told her, "You can't be that surprised—you ordered me another drink."
CC shrugged it off and glanced around the restaurant.
Don't worry, Niles. She likes you too. His eyes widened at that; perhaps he should slow down on the whiskey. It seemed to be breaking down barriers that had been put up for a reason. He did not look too closely into CC's behavior, and she didn't look too closely into his. It's how their relationship managed to survive.
"What?" she asked defensively, and Niles realized he'd been staring at her wide-eyed for a good thirty seconds.
"Nothing," Niles snapped. A different waiter spared him from having to find an excuse for his tone when he arrived with the appetizers.
CC stared in disbelief at the plates in front of her. She had dined at every 5-star restaurant in New York City and had traveled to an impressive number of countries, but she could not fathom the food that sat in front of her. "Is this a joke, Niles?"
Busy unrolling his napkin and placing it on his lap, Niles only then glanced up at her. "You being a natural blonde? Well, for it to qualify as a joke, people would have to find it funny so—"
"Ha ha, Old Man River," CC interrupted. "I mean, what's on these plates?"
"The appetizers."
"What the hell are they?"
"Fish tacos and potato skins," he told her, taking one of each and setting them on a plate for her. She took the small plate uncertainly. "Look, if you don't trust me…" Niles grabbed and took a bite of one of each. "Delicious!" He swallowed and frowned. "Although not at the same time."
"You have sour cream on your face," she told him, grimacing.
"What?" Niles asked, picking up a stray chunk of bacon and popping it in his mouth.
CC rolled her eyes, muttered, "For God's sake," and then wiped off the corner of his mouth with her napkin. "You're like an overgrown toddler, Niles."
His brain short-circuited at her strangely intimate touch and he only managed to get out, "They taste like a twice-baked potato."
"What?"
"The potato skins."
She looked at him oddly and then took a small test bite of one corner.
"You didn't even get any of the cheese! Come on, Babs," Niles said, reaching over and pushing the potato skin further into her mouth, mostly succeeding in making her an even bigger mess than he'd just been.
"Would you like to order any entr—oh," their waiter said, glancing from CC's face to the two empty seats on the other side of the table.
"Could you give us a few minutes? Thanks," Niles said casually. He handed her a spare napkin after the waiter walked away, adding quickly, "Look, in an effort to avoid another food fight, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make a huge mess."
She wiped off the cheese and sour cream adorning her face, glaring fire bolts at him. "I should have just left. Yes, on my broomstick, before you say it."
"I'm glad you stayed," he told her genuinely, looking at her for perhaps a little longer than he normally would have. He realized Babcock hadn't once asked him why Shelby had left.
"Of course you are," CC replied. "Otherwise, how could you have made a complete mess of my face with your potato halves?"
"Potato skins," he corrected. "And you aren't a mess. You still look beautiful."
"Since when did 'nice' turn into 'beautiful'?" she asked him, a teasing smile lingering somewhere near her lips.
"Since I started my third whiskey," Niles replied, giving her a small wink. She laughed pleasantly, Niles's stomach flipped, and he wondered if, perhaps, Shelby wasn't entirely off the mark.
They finished the appetizers, snippets of conversation occurring between bites, and Niles was about to ask if she wanted an entrée when CC burst into laughter.
Confused, Niles glanced around as though that would give him an answer but CC shook her head and waved her left hand, still overcome with hilarity. When the general din of the restaurant quieted for a moment, Niles heard what she'd heard and his face colored in embarrassment.
"They're playing your song, Niles," CC said, laughter still hugging her words.
His cheeks darkened as Bob Seger continued singing, and Niles unwittingly relived one of the most embarrassing moments of his life. He had never again made the mistake of assuming that he was home alone.
CC tried unsuccessfully to quell her laughter but she couldn't help it: it was one of her favorite memories.
"I don't need this," Niles said, standing up dramatically. All of his mortification vanished when she reached up for him and the first thing she managed to grab was his hand.
"Oh, come on," CC said, her face still bright with mirth. Niles found it difficult to look directly at her. She was so damn beautiful. "Don't tell me that you who dish it out more than anyone I know can't take it. If so, you're not the man I thought you were."
"Well, we can't all be as manly as you," Niles said with a sigh, flopping back into the seat. The movement regretfully took his hand from hers.
CC took a sip of her whiskey and watched him do the same. "Ok, I'm dying to know—"
"Don't give a man false hope, Babcock. It isn't nice."
"Ha ha. She thought the Porsche was yours. She thought you were a private chef. What gives?"
"As if you're completely honest with your dates. Why, most of them think you're a woman."
CC rolled her eyes. "Fine, people lie on first dates. But about jobs and cars? That seems silly."
"I know you aren't asking me why I'd be reluctant to tell women I'm a butler," Niles said.
"I am, actually," she told him, looking at him with something like disappointment. "It's like Nanny Fine lying about her age. What's the point?"
"The point is that perhaps someone will like me enough to want to stick around even after they find out I wash windows and serve tea for a living," Niles muttered.
CC scrunched her nose, but Niles missed it. "You might want to record this for proof because I'll likely never say it again, but you're a good man, Niles. I think they'll want to stick around for that."
"Since when did 'troll' become 'a good man'?" Niles asked, smiling at her.
"Since…" CC began, swirling her whiskey between them. "Well, always."
"You've always thought I'm a good man?"
"To everybody else, of course. To me, no."
"Then I must be a remarkably dumb man at that," Niles said, reaching behind him to pull out his wallet and handing his credit card to the waiter.
"We're leaving?" CC asked. Niles wished someone else were at the table to confirm that was definitely at least a hint of disappointment on her face as she asked it.
"Here, yes," Niles said. "I thought we could take a walk."
CC chose not to reply that she was not at all wearing walking shoes. With matching movements, they downed the rest of their respective drinks. The waiter returned, Niles signed the bill with a flourish, and they both stood.
"Shall we?" Niles asked, offering her his arm again. CC tried to hide a smile as she hooked her arm in his. It fit perfectly.
"Are you sure we aren't going to get mugged or anything?" CC asked, glancing around her as they walked down the sidewalk, away from the Porsche. Not a doorman in sight.
Niles laughed. "Yes, Miss Babcock. I didn't take you to Newark, you know."
"Well, pardon me, but I can't exactly rely on Mickey Rooney here to protect me against any predators," CC remarked, linking her fingers together over his elbow. He hoped she couldn't feel his pulse through his suit coat.
"You're the one used to prowling the streets, not me," Niles pointed out. They continued walking, the sidewalks half-full with groups and partners. Niles realized they actually looked like a couple on a date. For some reason, he wanted everyone on the street to think that's what they were.
"I'm sorry your date ended poorly," CC said as they paused at a crosswalk.
"I'm not," Niles replied. The signal changed and the group moved en masse across the street. "And in any case, who said it ended poorly?"
CC opened her mouth, but it wasn't like she had any reply to that statement. She closed it as they reached the opposite corner
"Ice cream?" Niles asked, slowing to a halt near a vendor with a fair-sized crowd around it.
"What?"
"Ice cream. Do you want any?"
"From the street?"
Niles stared at her. "All right, most of your confusion tonight, I could understand. But you've never bought an ice cream cone from the street before?"
CC gave a half-shrug, half-nod and Niles held up his hand before she could continue.
"This must stop. There's much you need to learn of the world, young Babcock," Niles told her. "Come on." They stepped into what looked like the queue for the vendor and Niles automatically slung his arm around her waist. He was entirely prepared to defend his actions—he didn't want to lose her in the crowd, for example—but she didn't question him.
They stepped up to the man standing elevated before them, leaning forward on his knuckles. CC looked around, panicking for some sort of menu, and then turned to Niles.
"Two swirl cones, please," Niles said. He handed over the requisite cash and handed one cone to CC. She took it from him with both hands, her fingers grazing his, as she surveyed the frozen concoction in front of her.
"I've never seen ice cream like this before," she said. She took a tentative bite and her eyes popped. "This is good!"
She badgered him with questions as they walked down the street, stopping and sitting on a bench in a small park nestled between two apartment buildings. He noticed that she sat down close enough that their thighs touched and wondered if she meant to.
"Ok, so, tell me again," CC said, her tower of ice cream already half gone.
"There's vanilla, chocolate, chocolate and vanilla swirl, and strawberry," Niles listed.
"Strawberry," CC repeated, leaning against the back of the bench. She crossed her left leg over her right. Niles glanced down at her legs and almost died.
But CC encountered a problem when she'd slurped her ice cream down to the cone. She held it up in front of Niles's eyes, wordlessly asking her question.
"You eat it, Babs," he told her.
"With my teeth?"
"You eat food some other way?"
"No, but…" CC looked at the cone dubiously.
"You need a knife and fork, princess?" Niles asked, the corners of his lips curving upwards.
CC pulled the cone back in front of her face, suddenly determined to prove something to him. What she wanted to prove, she wasn't sure, but she'd felt like a fish out of water all evening and that isn't who she was.
So she took a big, hearty bite into the side of her cone and felt the melting ice cream swirl down the side and converge over her lips.
She looked at Niles blankly and said, "And somehow I'm covered in food again."
He laughed and unwrapped the napkin from around his cone, handing it to her. "And to think, I once thought you a graceful woman."
She took the napkin but smiled at him saucily. "You think I'm graceful?"
"You should be more surprised that I think you're a woman," Niles pointed out to her.
"Oh, Niles, your eyes should get a passport for how often they've travelled my body," CC tossed at him, her voice somewhere between amused and exasperated. She wiped off her face, finished her cone, and licked the sticky sweetness from her fingers before standing up and tossing the napkin into the nearby trashcan.
Realizing his silence, she turned to him and laughed. His shock at what she'd said had retreated slightly, but his jaw still hung open and his cone wore more ice cream than it held.
She looked around and sighed. "Figures. The one time I get the last word, and no one's around to witness it."
This brought Niles back to himself, slightly. "And I'll never tell."
"That also figures," she said.
Niles stood and threw his ruined cone into the trash, joining CC as she turned back in the direction of the car. They walked in silence again, but this time, Niles's mind raced. Shelby's comments, however much they might have rung true, could be eschewed on the grounds of her being a relative stranger. What did she know of him and CC? But that CC had noticed too…this could be problematic.
When they stopped at the crosswalk and CC put her hand in the crook of his arm again, though, Niles realized something very important: CC had noticed. She had commented on it. And…it didn't seem to bother her. What could have been used as ammunition was instead used as…flirtation?
The drive back to CC's building passed too quickly for a preoccupied Niles. He pretended not to, but he understood the precarious balance of his and CC's relationship. Probably more than she did. So when things went back to normal on Monday, he was never surprised, though he sensed that she was. Sometimes he even thought she was hurt.
Which is why Niles decided to do a little bit more, to go a little bit further than he normally would have. He couldn't stomach wasting too much more time on fruitless dates when the person he'd rather be with was somewhere else, surprised and a little hurt.
He put the Porsche in park, climbed out of the car, and opened her door. She took his hand again, and if she squeezed it a little more tightly than she had before, he didn't mention it. But he smiled at her.
He tried to time it perfectly, but the sidewalk along her building wasn't that big and the doorman already had the door pulled open for her.
So he said, as casually as he possibly could, "We should do this again sometime."
CC thankfully slowed her steps until she stopped and turned to him. "You mean go on a double date and alienate the other two until they feel so uncomfortable that they leave before the appetizers show up?"
"Yes, something like that," Niles said, laughing. They resumed their pace and Niles felt something nudging his brain again. "But I actually meant just the two of us."
CC stopped again and faced him. The doorman, a consummate professional, somehow gave off the impression that he wasn't listening. She looked at him, her eyes a little wide, and then smiled. "Ok."
Two syllables had never sounded so beautiful before. CC turned again, the skirt of her dress blossoming around her legs, and Niles caught her wrist after she'd taken one step. "Babcock?" He spun her to him, sliding his free arm around her waist, and kissed her. "Next time, wear this dress."
He released her, saw a small smile on her lips, and walked back to the car, hopeful that Monday might not be entirely normal after all.