Disclaimer: I own nothing etc. The usual.

Hey people! This is my first chaptered fic and I'm aiming for probably about four chapters in all to get myself used to it. It's also my first humour fic because they're a lot more easy-going to write and I though, for my first chaptered story it would be nice to have an easy ride.

Thanks go out to my little sister Ceri for helping me.

Severus Snape sighed deeply. It was, all in all, not a good day. It had not been a good day when he was woken up at 2 in the morning because some snivelling little first year needed a draught of Skele-grow and the hospital wing was all out. It had not been a good day when that idiot Longbottom's toad had escaped his trembling clutches and run- or rather hopped –riot, all around the dungeons. And it had not, repeat, most certainly not been a good day when Sybil Trelawney had, inexplicably, chosen to sit next to him at the staff table and begun to single-handedly ruin what could have been a perfectly stress-free mealtime.

"I would be glad to read your palm sometime, Severus," the insufferable woman said dreamily. "For someone with such a dark and stormy aura as yourself, it is advisable to know when the worst is likely to happen."

"No thank you, Sybil," he answered curtly.

"Oh, but are you sure?" she continued, and Snape struggled with the urge to silence her by magically levitating the large pumpkin pie at the centre of the table, right into her intolerably annoying mouth.

But, he reminded himself, he must not, the headmaster had spoken to him about such urges and they had agreed that they would, in future, be suppressed. Madam Pomphrey still refused to come anywhere near him since the last time he had lost his temper with her. He had thought she made a rather nice duck but Albus had somewhat disagreed…no, probably best not to bring that up again. That particular exploit had landed him in weekly sessions with the Hogwarts counsellor in an effort to improve his "anger issues".

I am in a bubble, hethought furiously. A beautiful, pink bubble where nobody can touch me. I can't hear anyone and I am rising above the anger. Just breathe in…and out…and in…and-

"So, then I picked another card and what was it? Can you guess Severus, can you guess?" Trelawney's scarily magnified eyes gazed intently at him from behind her spectacles. Having been a Death Eater for years, Severus Snape had seem some pretty horrific and disturbing sights but Sybil Trelawney's protruding eyeballs still had the power to greatly unnerve him.

"I give in. What was it?" he answered, hoping, but not expecting, that the reply would be brief.

"Well…" and Trelawney launched into an explanation that no doubt featured the threat of imminent death and a tall, dark, handsome stranger.

But Snape heard none of it for she had just marched in through the door of the Great Hall and was making her way up to her seat next to Dumbledore. His breath caught suddenly in his throat and his fork same to a screeching halt half way between his plate and his mouth. Was it just him, or had Minerva McGonagall somehow become even more beautiful since breakfast. He gawked her, the gorgeous angel, as she walked in and noticed with a lurch the wisp of hair in her bun that never seemed to stay up, and the way her cheeks were flushed the colour of a delicate pink rose after the exertion of her morning lessons.

A delicate pink rose? He made a mental note to throw up later as penance for his own disgusting soppiness. He tore his eyes away from McGonagall and back to Sybil, who was watching him with an interested and rather disconcerting shrewdness.

"Venus is particularly bright at the moment," she told him, her eyes fixed firmly on his face as if looking for some sort of illusive clue. "The planet of love" she clarified.

Snape, who had just stuffed the hanging forkful of pie into his mouth, spluttered and choked. "What?"

"It's always nice to have a bit of romance round the castle," Sybil continued.

"What?" Snape repeated, "you think I…I don't…I never…NO!"

"Severus, you're not a subtle as you think. I saw the way you looked at her. She's a good woman, you've good taste." Trelawney spoke matter-of-factly which was actually something of a miracle in itself and Snape gawped at her in surprise before managing to pull himself back together.

"You are, as ever, speaking nonsense Sybil. You are deluded," he announced before rising with whatever dignity he could muster with ears the same colour as Luna Lovegood's radish earrings, and left the table.