21 Grams

An Astro Boy short fic

By Dan Rush

Astro boy © Osamu Tezuka 1954 © Sony Pictures 2003. Maka and Soul from SOUL EATER All rights respected.

Note: Written from Astro's account.

Things like this get started so innocently. Another day in school, a lesson in theological history and one of the other kids asked a question. "Can Astro have a soul?"

Now I was going to give the long hand robot version of why such a thing wasn't possible… I was. But then I got what you'd call that nagging buggy feeling. I stood there with a dopy look on my face and nothing came out of my mouth.

"Astro?" Miss Myoki asked me. I finally snapped out of this confusing fog and excused myself.

"You ok?" Kenichi asked me as I sat down.

"Dunno" I replied. For the rest of the day, I couldn't shake that annoying "white noise" in my head. I spent all recess walking around in such a stupor that I didn't notice I kicked a soccer ball out of the enclosure and into Tokyo Bay. That got everyone's attention.

At one point walking home, it got so upsetting and bothersome that kenichi walked me past the house and went with me all the way to the Ministry of Science to see Reno. I told him what was going on, or tried my best as what I said left Reno perplexed to find an explanation. He hooked me up to his computer and ran a quick diagnostic on my systems…

"There's nothing wrong with you." Reno said.

"You're sure?" I replied. Let me tell you, this thing was really messing me up. "It won't go away."

"If he thinks it's a problem Reno? You should do something more than this." Kenichi almost begged Reno to find an answer. You can't spare a good friend like this.

Reno looked me over again. "There is the super board."

The "Super board"… I hate that stupid thing. I hate it because I have to strapped to it and I hate it more because it's the most invading demonic piece of equipment ever made by man. They have to keep me strapped to it so I don't flail and kill people because of all the vicious probing it does to my programming.

So like always I complained, I got strapped in and I got invaded. I snarled, I complained, I shuddered, I jerked, I probably scared Kenichi to death because he'd never seen that before.

Then as always, I got down, turned and made another dent in that stupid thing…" &^%$# you!"

Yes….I can swear. My anger properly diffused, I followed Reno back to his lab where he scanned through the results of his examination. When Reno's face starts looking upsetting, you know it.

"Huh?...wow…." Reno said.

"Huh?...wow what?" I replied.

"There's….a problem." Reno looked at me, then at Kenichi, then back at me. "Technically? You shouldn't be standing, or talking, or even functioning."

"Ok….why?" I was obviously functioning.

"The program that runs you? The one that makes you….well….what makes Astro, Astro? It's corrupted." Reno pointed to my chest. "You're Astro 2.0 is Astro totally tits up."

I patted myself. "Well…still here." I started dancing and hopping around. "Still here! How could I be running and not here? Why didn't I find my own program was so messed up?"

"Hey! Don't ask me, you shoudn't be walking." Reno sat with his arms out.

Kenichi was waving his arms. "You're saying that Astro…shouldn't be Astro."

"Wow…a little late Ken." Reno snorted back. "Without a central program that gives Astro everything from his little speaking ticks to how much he can wiggle his little toes…he shouldn't be doing what he's doing now!"

Keep in mind that at that moment I'm running programs over and over and over and over and over and over and I'm getting even more frustrated, confused and confounded….

"ARGH! WHAT THE *&^%^ IS WRONG WITH ME?!"

Reno and Ken recovered after my screaming had shatters a few windows.

"Look…go see Doctor Tenma." Reno suggested. "He could probably help you."

Doctor Tenma had been released from prison a month back after almost trying to blow up Metro City. My hug and my forgiving him for how badly he abused me made all the difference in the world. Free of all his guilt and grief over losing his wife and his son Toby, he was at peace and perfectly happy to spend his time cultivating a garden in the back of his home and writing thesis to challenge other scientists.

"Interesting." Dad said to me as he paced around his study with me sitting on his desk. "I designed that central program to match Toby's character in everything and it's been corrupted?"

"Yes Sir." I replied. I then thought…."Dad."

I told him how there was no evidence that I had tried to over-write the program myself and there was no program of the same type in my body after it. After two hours of doing another check-up. Dad simply walked over to a phone and leaned against a book case while looking at me. "Pastor Atushi? Would you daughter Maka be available?"

"Pastor?" I thought. "Dad's calling a priest?" You can take that and run with it ok? Do I look like Linda Blair to anyone? You know I can spin my head for real? I can also cry out forest fires from my eyes that's a neat trick for dinner conversations.

An hour later, two people entered the study. One was a girl with blonde hair dressed in a white shirt, black school dress coat and school shorts. The other was an albino boy with a grey head band and a black and yellow school jacket. They introduced themselves as Maka and Soul and took their turns poking and prodding me, much to my dislike and confusion.

"Stop it!" I snorted as Soul tried to push a finger in my nose.

"I don't think he's demon possessed." Soul said with a frown on his face.

"How about I show you demon possession?" I snapped. Boy I was in a sour mood by this point.

Maka stood tapping a foot at me. "He can't be possessed. Being self-aware and having so many defenses, he can't be brought under the control of human who may be. And no demon can possess something that for all reason is nothing more than inanimate parts brought to a state of existence by human hands and science."

"Oh! So now I'm just a stupid toaster?" I screamed.

"Calm down." Maka replied. "We're just going through the process of elimination Astro. Your Dad called us because he's reached the end of what he can do to resolve any of this. There's only one way you could be doing what you're doing and we're here to confirm that's happened."

The obvious question from me was. "So what's happened?"

Soul leaned in. "Don't be alarmed. It's not supposed to happen at all but you? You may have been blessed."

"Huh?" I replied. "Blessed?"

Maka nodded. "In a sense, if we're right, you've been given the very thing Pinocchio hoped for. You've been given a human soul."

You can understand that the mechanical part of me, the computer, kicked in. "No way…uh uh…God…."

Maka covered my mouth. 'Shut that stupid pie hole of yours robot. You say that and you might end up in the physical term? Dead. God can grant miracles and he can just as quickly remove them."

This was a puzzle. If it was true then how did it happen? When did it happen? Wildest part of all was…did I really want it to happen? A soul? That meant that if I got so bad as to be unfunctional? I'd be dead. Not broke but really, really dead! I was thinking…"It's not good to be dead." "It will suck to be dead." "To be dead is to be dead, dead."

I kept babbling while Maka and Soul stood talking to each other and then they took my hand and led me to another room where Maka to a stack of papers from Doctor Tenma. "This here is your complete physical make up." Maka said. "Every bolt, nut, screw, wire, twist tie, transducer, transformer, battery, bullet and your brain bucket."

"Which is probably in your ass." Soul joked.

"Shut up dork!" I screamed back.

"As I was saying." Maka replied. "Everything physical that makes you up is in these papers. Now we're going to total the stated weight in these documents with your actual body weight and find out if there's a difference. If the difference measures the calculations in my notebook here? Congratulations."

"I don't know if I should cheer, laugh, cry or just kill myself." I said snorting.

"Please don't kill yourself." Maka replied. "That's a sin and you'll go to hell. Just a reminder? Your soul will know every torment. That's not fun."

I gulped. Then I realized that I felt genuine absolute fear. That never happened before…then I realized the wetness between my legs and I wished that never happened at all.

"New experience huh?" Soul snorted in my face. I so wanted to know if it was a sin to kick the snot out of a complete wise ass.

After changing my dignity, I followed Maka and Soul to Dad's lab in the house and sat quietly on a scale as they weighted me. Then I sat nervously outside Dad's office as they were pouring over their math and their results.

Soul stuck his head out the door at me three times as if to question what they were finding. Finally they called me inside. The looks on their faces told me to expect something perplexingly profound.

"Astro?" Maka said with a sigh. "21 grams. 21 Grams between your design built weight and your actual body weight."

Soul nodded. "We've checked, rechecked and rechecked like two idiots. Unless you're hiding something we don't know about? Dude? You have a human soul."

I shook. "What do I do? Uh…..uh…..Buddha? Allah? Jesus? The sun God? Do I like pray 10 times a day? Do I need to stop eating Ice Cream?" I pulled the waist band of my shorts out. "Am I gonna get circumcised?"

Maka laughed. "For now…give yourself some time to relax and take it all in ok? Obviously being a robot under the robot laws is going to keep you from becoming a vile wicked sinner."

Soul pointed. "Not if he keeps looking at your legs."

Maka slapped me. "Cut that out!"

"I was looking at your shoes!" I yelped. "Why me?! It's not like I don't have enough to think about from day to day, now I have to worry about watching scantly clad school anime! God is a cruel guy!"

"Man makes scantly clad school girls. You're going to be ok Astro, I think God was so pleased with you that he felt an upgrade was in order that's all." Maka said smiling. "But yeah…ice cream is a sin so you can't have any more."

"ARGH!" I shouted. "That's not fair God!"

It was at that point that Maka and Soul left. Trust me, I've been emotionally scared for a week since. You ever tried walking with horse blinders through Tokyo station trying to keep your eyes off the bikini posters? It sucks trust me.

The end