I haven't written Jate in oh so so very long. I miss them so much and I needed this.
Post SNBH - Pre return to island. Angst.
Everything
She cannot shake it. Every time she closes her eyes, she sees his; warm, brown, loving… promising her everything. And for a while he was… everything. And for a while, she thought she was his everything as well. But she was wrong. She was not enough. She would never be. There would always be something there, something… missing that she could never fill, that no one could fill. It wasn't her fault. It took her a long time to understand that. It took her endless sleepless nights, tossing and turning, crying, cursing, hating… hating him, hating herself, her past, her sins, Wayne, Diane and Sam, Edward Mars… his parents, Sawyer, Locke… the island.
It felt like a sick joke someone was playing, putting them there, promising them everything, and then taking it all away.
She closes her eyes and she sees his; warm, brown and loving. Everything.
The boy sleeping in her lap, his eyes are a bright, innocent blue. Bright, innocent and haunting, reflecting a young blond mother, lost, gone forever.
Hers are green. Jungle green, wild and raging, as green as the heavy foliage that shrouded their stolen moment in the jungle many many memories ago. Stolen, secret, a frightened promise of something… of everything.
His eyes are brown. Warm, loving, tortured, telling a story of tragedy that yearns for something no one can give.
Blue, green, brown. They could be everything. But they were only a sick joke that left them with nothing.
Nothing.