NOW.
"How could you?"
Hinata gasped for air as Neji pinned her to the wall, fingers tightening around her fragile neck. It was beautiful to see her pale face flush that irresistible shade of red. While her mouth tried to argue and fight, her eyes were brimming with tears and held such a monumental amount of fear that her words were automatically rendered useless.
She was only beautiful when she was being hurt.
Breathing and dying. Giving life and taking it away. It was all the same, wasn't it? And if it wasn't, it certainly felt like it was. Creating and destroying. Birth by death. A warm hand clasped together with mine, fingers trembling with what's to come. I felt that it was too much, but I didn't dare speak. It was all the same, wasn't it? There was nothing I could do.
"Do you know what you've done to our blood, to your blood? You've tainted our entire clan."
"Neji, I…"
She wanted to say that she was sorry, but she just couldn't.
His fingers ran down her neck and tore at the fabric of her clothes. Her breath hitched in her throat, and they fell onto the floor, a mess of expensive silks and ancient kimonos. There was no way of fighting – Neji had always been so, so much stronger and larger than her. The way his hands grabbed at her flesh, holding her firmly in place, eyes gripping her with such a tense stare… And as sick as it sounded, she felt like she deserved it.
Hina, Hinata… Hinata, I want you.
THEN.
The entire time, Naruto had his fingers intertwined with hers, a perpetual look of anticipation set firmly in his face. She wasn't nearly as emotional, looking nervously down at his still hand. The golden bands that each wore on their ring fingers, as was customary, clinked together for a second as they both stood up simultaneously to greet Sakura.
"It's a girl, Hinata," was her breathless announcement, and the new bride sighed heavily. Naruto was grinning, having assumed that it was out of relief than disappointment. Oh, it would be the long year to end all long years…
She still remembers the night, when she was new and shivering and so delicate under his loving touches. In the midst of their love, an image of Neji's face, eyes closed and lips parted as he breathed heavily, replaced Naruto's for a split second and her body filled with guilt.
If, somehow, in a different world and different time…
It was the most beautiful day for a wedding. The bells still ring in my ears. Congratulations! Someday, somewhere, I'll look back on this and maybe I'll laugh. Or maybe I'll cry. I don't want to remember. I'm sorry this ever happened. One day, we can all go back. We can turn back the clock, just wait a little more… I'm so sorry for hurting you.
NOW.