A/N: Man, I seriously hate flies.
The Fly
The hot summers were always bad when Phoenix needed to work. The atmosphere was hot and sticky, as Phoenix pulled up his sleeves and undid the top button of his white shirt. His jacket and tie had been thrown off a long while ago, since then he had made a lot of progress on his paperwork.
To save money on his electricity bill, the AC was turned off, and all the windows in the office were open. Which was good, because occasionally a breeze would flutter in, and Phoenix would sigh as the cool air rushed over him, but this was bad because the tinkling melody of a ice cream van was a lot louder and so much more tempting.
Maya had rushed out to buy them both ice cream. Phoenix had given her enough money for two fairly decent ice creams, but of course, when she had returned, she had come back with one super mega deluxe knickerbocker glory with two chocolate flakes on top and promptly handed him a lemon flavoured ice pole.
"Maya..." Phoenix said, "I hate lemon."
"I'll eat it, if you want!" Maya said cheerfully. Phoenix snatched it out of her hand. He didn't care if it was disgusting, he needed something to cool him down.
Before he unwrapped it, he held it too his head, and rolled it across his forehead to spread the coolness.
"Geez, Nick." Maya said, scoffing down on her knickerbocker glory, "Just eat it already."
Phoenix tore the wrapper off, discarding it in the bin next to him. It was lemon. He hated lemon.
Maya was looking at it greedily, despite having her own ice cream half finished. Phoenix looked at her, looked at the ice pole, then looked back at her again.
She wants mine as well?
Phoenix smirked as he bit a chunk off, trying to ignore the taste, quenching his thirst. Maya huffed to herself and had more of her knickerbocker glory.
Bzzzzzzzzt
Phoenix turned around to look out of the window and saw a fly buzz inside, swerving all over the place in that annoying insect way. He ignored it, hoping it would just go back out again, and went to eat some more of his ice pole.
The fly was sitting on it.
"Argh!" Phoenix said, dropping it in surprise. The fly flew off again, buzzing around his head and back out of the window.
Maya laughed, "Hahaha, Nick's scared of a fly!"
Phoenix nearly cried at his ruined ice pole that was making a soggy mess on his sorted paperwork. He scraped the ice pole in the bin with his ruler, and looked at the watery yellow patch that was glistening on his files.
He tilted it so the water dripped off into the bin, but it was still ruined.
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzt
The fly returned, or at least Phoenix assumed it was the same fly.
"Maya! Get the fly swatter!" He commanded.
"Yessir!" Maya said gleefully, running into the next room. Phoenix grabbed a nearly empty cup of coffee on his desk, and attempt to trap the fly when it landed on the cabinet. All that happened was a trickle of coffee slid down the metal as the fly buzzed past his ear.
He growled in frustration, when Maya swiftly returned with a fly swatter in her hand.
"En Garde!" She cried, slapping him on the arm with it as hard as she could.
"Ow!" Phoenix winced, the blow reminded him all too familiarly of Franziska's whip, "Get the fly, get the fly!"
"I'm not killing an innocent - "
Phoenix ignored her and snatched it out of her hand, frowning as he tried to find where it had landed. It had stopped buzzing, as if sensing it's impending doom, and Phoenix stomped on the floor as loud as he could to try and scare it out into flying.
"It's there!" Maya cried, pointing at the ceiling. Phoenix looked up and noticed the little black dot that was crawling above him, and swung at it with the swatter.
He missed, not being tall enough, and instead of flying somewhere lower down, it stuck back onto the ceiling.
"Clever." Maya praised.
"Don't compliment it. That's what it wants."
"Nick, you're losing it."
He did the same thing a couple of times, but each time the fly merely flew back onto the ceiling.
"Why does it keep going back?" Phoenix said in frustration. Maya thought about it, then clicked.
"It might be because there was jam on there the other day!"
"Why would there be jam on my office ceiling?" Phoenix asked incredulously, "...Actually, never mind I don't want to know."
"Yes, that might be for the best." Maya said seriously. Phoenix looked around, and pulled his swivel chair over, positioning it so he was at an angle to the fly.
"Right."
"That's your name, don't wear it out!"
"Don't say that again, Maya." Phoenix replied, slowly stepping onto the chair, holding on tightly to the back of the chair in a fear that it might suddenly twist and make him fall off. It didn't, and he hesitantly let go, stretching his arms out, the chair wobbling side to side slightly.
"You sure you want to do this, Nick?" Maya said, "You could just give up now, let the fly go in peace..."
"No."
"It doesn't seem like the best of your ideas..." Maya continued, biting her lip. Phoenix was shifting around in the chair, his tongue stuck out in concentration as he watched the fly. It was mocking him, he could see, it was rubbing it's little insect hands (or legs, whatever they were) together in that weird way that flies did. It was just taunting him, daring him to hit it -
He slapped the fly swatter against the ceiling, this time the fly easily flying out of the way, swerving around his head and around the room. Both of them followed it with their eyes, as it continued to roam around the office, occasionally darting back on itself, trying to make Phoenix lose sight of it – but Phoenix was onto it, he continued to watch it with an unwavering gaze, clenching the fly swatter tightly in his hand. Maya ate more of her knickerbocker glory.
"I think you've been working a bit too hard Nick, if this fly is getting to you so badly."
"What do you mean, I'm not at all worked up." Phoenix said, still concentrating on the fly, slowly getting off the chair, "Besides, you always complain I don't work hard enough."
Maya muttered something to herself in response, but Phoenix wasn't listening as the fly had landed. Except it had landed on Mia's movie poster.
"Don't you dare squish that fly on sis' poster." Maya warned. Phoenix groaned in frustration.
"But it's going to stay there - "
Maya started to grab a piece of paper, scribbling down something. Phoenix didn't want to take his eyes of the fly, but wanted to know what was so urgent that it needed to be written down straight away.
"What are you writing?"
"A note to sis explaining that you're going to ruin her poster over a stupid fly. Then I'll channel her if you go a step closer."
Damn spirit mediums.
"OK, I won't squish it." It was a threat that he knew Maya would go through with. And you did not want to see Mia angry.
There was a silence as the fly stayed on the poster, a 'now what' kind of pause where the two were stuck watching the fly, waiting for it to move.
"Do you know a fly's reactions are twelve times faster than us?" Maya said thoughtfully. Phoenix looked at her incredulously.
"Why are you telling me that now? How do you even know that anyway?"
"Larry told me. He said to them it's like we're moving in slow motion. Wouldn't that be cool? Seeing everything go slooooooowlyyyyyyy - "
As she said that, the fly pushed itself off the poster and flew out of the window. Phoenix looked in disbelief then hurriedly ran over to shut all the windows.
"Nick it's hot!" Maya protested.
"We'll blast the AC out, I'm not having any more damn flies in the office." He replied, letting out a triumphant laugh when he had shut the last one, picking up the remote for the AC and turning it up to the max.
"Right, back to work!" He said cheerfully, going back to his computer. Maya, the distraction over, went back to reading her manga, her icecream finished. Phoenix now found he could not concentrate on anything, his ears listening out for flies, the words moving on his screen like insects. Oh come on, Phoenix, focus, focus, focus -
The door to the office suddenly opened, with Larry coming inside.
"Hey Nick, your door was open and I – whoa Maya you're looking as radiant as ever - !"
Bzzzzzzzrt ~
"Dammit, Larry!"