Umm... hi, peeps. This is my as yet untitled fic. It deals with what
happens AFTER "The Aftereffects of Leather Pants." I currently have no name
for this story, which will be a multi-chapter deal (I SWEAR!!!!), so I have
decided to call it... That's right...
Nanashi!!
Okay, I couldn't resist. I know it sucks. So sue me.
No, don't sue me! I didn't mean it! Just to make sure you don't...
Weiss belongs to Project Weiss and the people behind it. I do not own, I repeat, DO NOT OWN, Weiss Kreuz. If I did, d'you think I'd be this poor? D'you think I'd be writing fanfics? No siree, I would be working on new storylines...
Credits (meaning these are the people who put up with me) for this fic go to...
The ever-present, ever-listening, rarely-patient and ever-caring Moonflower and Chibi Yaoi Tenshi (who changes screennames so much it's a good thing I know her in real life)!!! Also, Wyachi, who shall join ff.net soon if he hasn't already, and DyingRose1 on AOL. You people are so good to me, I don't know what I'd do without you. Oh, and I can't forget the driving annoyance in my life, and my best friend, Din'Amarth. Thanks, Din, for being there (even when I know you had better things to do like playing your new PS2).
And, of course, everyone out there kind enough to give me a review. You people are great, and I thank you very much for every single review I've ever gotten on anything I've ever written. (Except for Lord Vegeta... let me tell you, peeps, he is a first rate ass!!! I had his review removed...) Must have reviews... MUST HAVE REVIEWS...
Well, I do believe that's the end of that little pointless author's note. To the story!!!
~~~
Nanashi
~~~
I awake slowly. I am much warmer than usual, and I cannot figure out why. My head and arm both lay over something with a heat of its own. Something that feels suspiciously like... skin?
I open my eyes at that thought. There is only a slight change in what I can see; I like my room dark. I can see enough, however, to know that there is someone else in my bed with me. Yohji?
The events of last night hit me like a train. I remember everything, from the club to what I said to him, just before we both fell asleep. What I said... I could not have picked three more damning words to say to him. What sort of idiot am I? He's a playboy. The only reason he's stuck around this long is because he figured I my ass would be a pretty tight fuck, I know it. I hope my virginity was enough for him.
I sit up and shoot out of bed, heading for my dresser. Grabbing my sweater and a pair of pants, I dash out of the room, not caring what he thinks when he wakes up. At least, I keep trying to tell myself that.
Gods... I had to say "I love you," didn't I.
I slip into the bathroom to dress, cursing myself for my stupidity of saying that to Yohji all the while. Maybe I didn't mean it. Maybe the words just slipped out of my mouth in the heat of the moment.
What heat? There's no heat after sex, and I know it. I might as well face it. I was stupid enough to hand Yohji my heart in a glass box last night.
Please, Yohji, don't throw the box on the ground.
~~~
I awake quickly. I just heard a door slam. Wait - this isn't my room - it's Aya's. What the hell am I doing in Aya's room?
Last night's events wash over my mind. Taking Aya out... bringing Aya home... making love to Aya... Aya saying he loves me...
Aya said he loves me?
I can barely suppress a grin. I reach beside me to draw the redhead to me... and he isn't there. Why isn't he there? What isn't he here with me? This is his room, his bed, and he doesn't even eat breakfast.
I want him to be here with me. I want to wrap my arms around his sleeping body, and hold him until he wakes up. I want to tell him I love him. I want to make love again, but not like we did last night, slow this time, where all we want is to see how much of the morning we can fill up with each other. In that order, that is what I want to do.
I can't do that if he's not here.
Dammit, where is he?
Maybe he went to the bathroom. Yeah, that's it.
~~~
I open the bathroom door and Yohji's there, in all his glory. His lanky body is barely clothed, in my bathrobe, no less, and his honey-blonde hair is a mess. His emerald eyes regard me, and then he's on me before I know it, arms around me, mouth on my neck.
No. No, I don't want this. Stop it. Stop.
"Don't do this."
He steps back to regard me again. This time, confusion swirls those emerald orbs. "Is this some sort of joke, Aya-kun?" His voice is uncertain. He doesn't have words for this situation.
"I rarely joke." I step past him.
"But you said last night-"
"Forget what I said last night," I say curtly, spinning on me my heel to look at him. "Forget last night.
"Forget us."
~~~
I slide on Aya's bathrobe, and stumble out of his room, heading for the bathroom. Just before I get there, the door opens, and out comes Aya in his horrible orange sweater. He looks great anyway, red hair falling around his face like strands of silk. He's got those gorgeous violet eyes looking at me, burning into me like they always do.
He doesn't look great.
He looks edible.
Before I know what I am doing, I'm pressing him against the wall. My arm are wrapped around his waist, and my mouth is on his neck, his smooth skin tasting sweet. I can feel his pulse through it. Hell if I know how I got here, but I'm not complaining.
I hear his voice. He is quiet - hardly more than whispering - but the words are enough to stop me in my tracks. "Don't do this."
I back up to look at him, to take a closer look. His eyes are cold, violet ice like they used to be. I spent the last six and a half months watching those eyes melt. He can't mean this. "Is this some sort of joke, Aya-kun?" I ask him hopefully.
"I rarely joke." He brushes past me like I'm not there.
I try to grasp what he's telling me. "But you said last night-"
Aya cuts me off, turning to look at me with those icy cold eyes. It's Aya's cold fury again, the look I haven't seen directed at me in so long. "Forget what I said last night," Aya says coldly. "Forget last night.
"Forget us."
~~~
I don't want to see the look on his face. I can imagine it well enough - the shock of being turned down, followed by a look of nonchalant resignation. I turn away from him and head down the hall to my room. I need to do something to get all of this off my mind - my katana. I need to get my katana. I need to practice with my katana. I need my katana. My katana can suck all my thoughts away.
I walk into my room - and I am assaulted. My room smells of him, of his cologne, his favorite drink, his sex. His clothes are strewn about my room, like a raid was held. My things are all over too, but that isn't as bad - at least they're MY clothes.
I throw his clothes out into the hall with all my strength - I need to get him, and all vestiges of him, out of my room. Then I pull my katana out of its box, still sheathed, and head for my dojo. I need the practice room there.
~~~
Aya turns away from me.
I don't understand. How can he do this? Does he mean it? Can he do this? Is he really doing this?
Is he really - leaving me?
And then it hits me - you finally managed the impossible, Kudo. It's happened for the first time. Somebody's finally broken up with you. It just sucks for you that it's got to be the one you really care about, the only one you've ever really cared about.
When you gonna learn, Kudo? When you gonna learn?
I lean up against the wall for support - if I didn't, I'd have sunk to the floor by now. It feels like somebody has punched me in the stomach, hit me over the head, and taken my legs out from me all at once. No, it feels like Aya did all that. Aya did do all that.
Aya's leaving me.
When you gonna learn, Kudo?
I don't understand. What did I do wrong? What made him decide to drop me all of a sudden, like this? I feel pretty confident - even at this point - that it wasn't the sex, what little we did have of that. Did I hurt him? If I did, I never meant to. Did I ignore him? I spent almost all my waking moments trying to show him that I cared, that I loved him. I tried to make him feel - safe with me. Loved. Did I not show him that I cared? I've never been that gentle with anyone in my life. What did I do wrong? It can't be his fault - even causing me this much pain, he's still too beautiful, too perfect for that. What did I do wrong? Why is Aya leaving me?
Aya's leaving me.
When you gonna learn, Kudo?
He's in his room now. Wait - his door is opening. Maybe he'll come out. Maybe he'll smirk at me like he did last night, and tell me to get in there with him, now - But no. Instead, the clothes Aya assisted me in taking off last night fly out, hitting the wall hard enough to make the light fixtures rattle. The symbolism is there, and poignant. Aya doesn't want me, or my clothes, in his room anymore than he wants me and my emotional baggage in his life.
Aya doesn't want me.
Aya's leaving me.
When you gonna learn, Kudo?
I can see it in my head, a weird mental subimage - the house that is my life crashing down around my ears, debris hitting me, as its foundation is yanked out from underneath it. This image, more than anything, drives it home for me. I go into the abandoned bathroom and slam the door shut, locking it. I need some privacy before I cry.
Aya's leaving me.
When you gonna learn?
~~~
Nanashi!!
Okay, I couldn't resist. I know it sucks. So sue me.
No, don't sue me! I didn't mean it! Just to make sure you don't...
Weiss belongs to Project Weiss and the people behind it. I do not own, I repeat, DO NOT OWN, Weiss Kreuz. If I did, d'you think I'd be this poor? D'you think I'd be writing fanfics? No siree, I would be working on new storylines...
Credits (meaning these are the people who put up with me) for this fic go to...
The ever-present, ever-listening, rarely-patient and ever-caring Moonflower and Chibi Yaoi Tenshi (who changes screennames so much it's a good thing I know her in real life)!!! Also, Wyachi, who shall join ff.net soon if he hasn't already, and DyingRose1 on AOL. You people are so good to me, I don't know what I'd do without you. Oh, and I can't forget the driving annoyance in my life, and my best friend, Din'Amarth. Thanks, Din, for being there (even when I know you had better things to do like playing your new PS2).
And, of course, everyone out there kind enough to give me a review. You people are great, and I thank you very much for every single review I've ever gotten on anything I've ever written. (Except for Lord Vegeta... let me tell you, peeps, he is a first rate ass!!! I had his review removed...) Must have reviews... MUST HAVE REVIEWS...
Well, I do believe that's the end of that little pointless author's note. To the story!!!
~~~
Nanashi
~~~
I awake slowly. I am much warmer than usual, and I cannot figure out why. My head and arm both lay over something with a heat of its own. Something that feels suspiciously like... skin?
I open my eyes at that thought. There is only a slight change in what I can see; I like my room dark. I can see enough, however, to know that there is someone else in my bed with me. Yohji?
The events of last night hit me like a train. I remember everything, from the club to what I said to him, just before we both fell asleep. What I said... I could not have picked three more damning words to say to him. What sort of idiot am I? He's a playboy. The only reason he's stuck around this long is because he figured I my ass would be a pretty tight fuck, I know it. I hope my virginity was enough for him.
I sit up and shoot out of bed, heading for my dresser. Grabbing my sweater and a pair of pants, I dash out of the room, not caring what he thinks when he wakes up. At least, I keep trying to tell myself that.
Gods... I had to say "I love you," didn't I.
I slip into the bathroom to dress, cursing myself for my stupidity of saying that to Yohji all the while. Maybe I didn't mean it. Maybe the words just slipped out of my mouth in the heat of the moment.
What heat? There's no heat after sex, and I know it. I might as well face it. I was stupid enough to hand Yohji my heart in a glass box last night.
Please, Yohji, don't throw the box on the ground.
~~~
I awake quickly. I just heard a door slam. Wait - this isn't my room - it's Aya's. What the hell am I doing in Aya's room?
Last night's events wash over my mind. Taking Aya out... bringing Aya home... making love to Aya... Aya saying he loves me...
Aya said he loves me?
I can barely suppress a grin. I reach beside me to draw the redhead to me... and he isn't there. Why isn't he there? What isn't he here with me? This is his room, his bed, and he doesn't even eat breakfast.
I want him to be here with me. I want to wrap my arms around his sleeping body, and hold him until he wakes up. I want to tell him I love him. I want to make love again, but not like we did last night, slow this time, where all we want is to see how much of the morning we can fill up with each other. In that order, that is what I want to do.
I can't do that if he's not here.
Dammit, where is he?
Maybe he went to the bathroom. Yeah, that's it.
~~~
I open the bathroom door and Yohji's there, in all his glory. His lanky body is barely clothed, in my bathrobe, no less, and his honey-blonde hair is a mess. His emerald eyes regard me, and then he's on me before I know it, arms around me, mouth on my neck.
No. No, I don't want this. Stop it. Stop.
"Don't do this."
He steps back to regard me again. This time, confusion swirls those emerald orbs. "Is this some sort of joke, Aya-kun?" His voice is uncertain. He doesn't have words for this situation.
"I rarely joke." I step past him.
"But you said last night-"
"Forget what I said last night," I say curtly, spinning on me my heel to look at him. "Forget last night.
"Forget us."
~~~
I slide on Aya's bathrobe, and stumble out of his room, heading for the bathroom. Just before I get there, the door opens, and out comes Aya in his horrible orange sweater. He looks great anyway, red hair falling around his face like strands of silk. He's got those gorgeous violet eyes looking at me, burning into me like they always do.
He doesn't look great.
He looks edible.
Before I know what I am doing, I'm pressing him against the wall. My arm are wrapped around his waist, and my mouth is on his neck, his smooth skin tasting sweet. I can feel his pulse through it. Hell if I know how I got here, but I'm not complaining.
I hear his voice. He is quiet - hardly more than whispering - but the words are enough to stop me in my tracks. "Don't do this."
I back up to look at him, to take a closer look. His eyes are cold, violet ice like they used to be. I spent the last six and a half months watching those eyes melt. He can't mean this. "Is this some sort of joke, Aya-kun?" I ask him hopefully.
"I rarely joke." He brushes past me like I'm not there.
I try to grasp what he's telling me. "But you said last night-"
Aya cuts me off, turning to look at me with those icy cold eyes. It's Aya's cold fury again, the look I haven't seen directed at me in so long. "Forget what I said last night," Aya says coldly. "Forget last night.
"Forget us."
~~~
I don't want to see the look on his face. I can imagine it well enough - the shock of being turned down, followed by a look of nonchalant resignation. I turn away from him and head down the hall to my room. I need to do something to get all of this off my mind - my katana. I need to get my katana. I need to practice with my katana. I need my katana. My katana can suck all my thoughts away.
I walk into my room - and I am assaulted. My room smells of him, of his cologne, his favorite drink, his sex. His clothes are strewn about my room, like a raid was held. My things are all over too, but that isn't as bad - at least they're MY clothes.
I throw his clothes out into the hall with all my strength - I need to get him, and all vestiges of him, out of my room. Then I pull my katana out of its box, still sheathed, and head for my dojo. I need the practice room there.
~~~
Aya turns away from me.
I don't understand. How can he do this? Does he mean it? Can he do this? Is he really doing this?
Is he really - leaving me?
And then it hits me - you finally managed the impossible, Kudo. It's happened for the first time. Somebody's finally broken up with you. It just sucks for you that it's got to be the one you really care about, the only one you've ever really cared about.
When you gonna learn, Kudo? When you gonna learn?
I lean up against the wall for support - if I didn't, I'd have sunk to the floor by now. It feels like somebody has punched me in the stomach, hit me over the head, and taken my legs out from me all at once. No, it feels like Aya did all that. Aya did do all that.
Aya's leaving me.
When you gonna learn, Kudo?
I don't understand. What did I do wrong? What made him decide to drop me all of a sudden, like this? I feel pretty confident - even at this point - that it wasn't the sex, what little we did have of that. Did I hurt him? If I did, I never meant to. Did I ignore him? I spent almost all my waking moments trying to show him that I cared, that I loved him. I tried to make him feel - safe with me. Loved. Did I not show him that I cared? I've never been that gentle with anyone in my life. What did I do wrong? It can't be his fault - even causing me this much pain, he's still too beautiful, too perfect for that. What did I do wrong? Why is Aya leaving me?
Aya's leaving me.
When you gonna learn, Kudo?
He's in his room now. Wait - his door is opening. Maybe he'll come out. Maybe he'll smirk at me like he did last night, and tell me to get in there with him, now - But no. Instead, the clothes Aya assisted me in taking off last night fly out, hitting the wall hard enough to make the light fixtures rattle. The symbolism is there, and poignant. Aya doesn't want me, or my clothes, in his room anymore than he wants me and my emotional baggage in his life.
Aya doesn't want me.
Aya's leaving me.
When you gonna learn, Kudo?
I can see it in my head, a weird mental subimage - the house that is my life crashing down around my ears, debris hitting me, as its foundation is yanked out from underneath it. This image, more than anything, drives it home for me. I go into the abandoned bathroom and slam the door shut, locking it. I need some privacy before I cry.
Aya's leaving me.
When you gonna learn?
~~~