.:: Jump ::.
an AkuRoku oneshot
I can't do it anymore. Living has just become too hard. Sitting here, on the edge of the clock tower, wind blowing through my spiky blond hair, pulling at my limbs, is the happiest I've been in years. Especially knowing what I'm about to do. I'm going to end it. Just one jump, air rushing past me, some possible pain, the eventual splat, and blackness; I'll be no more.
"Your mother wants to say something!" A voice called through the microphone. I recognized it as Mitch, the cop who's been trying to talk me down for the last forty minutes. Yeah, I know, 'forty minutes you're not gonna do it'. Well, you're wrong. I am going to do it, in exactly forty more minutes.
In forty minutes I will turn eighteen. Everyone says I'm eighteen already, but I say I was born at 12:45 PM July 14th and exactly eighteen years later at 12:45 PM July 14th I'm going to die.
"Roxas, sweetie, please come down. Think about us, your dad and me, honey. We love you." Lies, lies, except the 'think about us' statement. That's all they ever want. What about me? What about what I want, what I feel, huh? Does it mean nothing? "What about Sora? Do you realize what this will do to him, Roxas?" Of course, the star child mustn't be scared by seeing his brother as a pancake on the ground. Precious Sora, our dear baby boy. For God's sake he's fourteen now. He's always been their favorite.
I looked down to the ground and saw Mitch trying to get the microphone from Mom. "I don't think you're helping ma'am."
"I need to talk him down. His brother will be so upset."
Ugh…I stopped listening after that, it could only make me change my plans and jump sooner. That would be a waste. Sure, I'm the only one who realizes what 12:45 means, but for once I want what I think to matter, even if it only matters to me.
As I heard a scratch on the floor behind me I twisted my head around to find the source. He was gorgeous. His spiky red hair stuck out all around his head, and those piercing green eyes bore into your soul. The coat he was wearing unbuttoned revealed that he had no shirt on and showed his beautifully sculpted abs perfectly. The collar bones protruding at his neck were just begging to be licked.
I had to shake my head and look away. Its thoughts like that, among other things that had me up here. My mom and dad hate that I'm gay. It's not like I didn't try very hard to be straight, but I don't like girls. It's an awful feeling to be discriminated in your own house. God forbid I disease Sora with the gayness. I won't even get on the subject of school. I'll just say I chose to graduate early to get out of that hell hole. And friends? Pft, I have none, not anymore, they couldn't risk being diseased.
"Can I sit with you?" The redhead asked from behind me. His voice completely matched his appearance, it was gorgeous. This, of course just reminded me that my voice was a bit higher than most boys, and of my short stature, and complete lack of muscles. I really have no reason to stay here, and I wasn't going to answer Red. But I swear to God if he sits too close, screw my plans, I'm jumping.
I guess he figured out I wasn't going to answer him, because he sat down about an arm and a half away from me. As I got a closer look at him I noticed he had two diamond tattoos under his eyes. "Did those hurt?" I pointed under my own eyes. He smirked at me, probably happy that I talked to him, but it was making me melt.
"I don't really remember, I was drunk." He sighed and his smirk faded, "I was sticking it to the man. The man being my father. But I don't regret getting them."
"What'd your father do?" He had me curious now, stupid redhead, we'd better be done in thirty-five minutes.
"He wanted me to be like him. He was bitching one night about wanting me to become a big CEO like him. Long story short, it ended in a fist fight, me running out getting shit faced and two lovely face tattoos. You ever see a CEO with face tattoos? I don't think so, it's unprofessional. So now I can't be a CEO, even if I wanted to be one." His smirk was back with an evil touch in it. "I, my suicidal friend, am an artist. I will not stand for doing something I don't want to do, and I won't stand for being someone I'm not."
"And who are you?" I smiled for the first time in years, receiving one in return.
"I am Axel Sinclair. I am a bisexual artist, who hates his dad, enjoys the occasional nude stroll down the beach…" I scoffed at his last words, "Hey, it's quite a thrill to have ten cops chasing you down the beach. I've only been caught once. Anyway, I'm also highly entertained by psychology and have several degrees in it, though it's not my career."
"What's your career?"
"I'm and art director at a publishing company. I've also done a few movies." He smiled at me. "What about you?"
"What about me, what?" I asked confused, no one ever wants to hear about me.
"I want to know about you. I already know everything about me. Actually that's not true, I don't know if I sleepwalk or not. I go to bed with my bedroom spotless and wake up to a disaster, though it could be one of the ferrets. So can I learn a little about you?"
"My name's Roxas Hikari, I'm turning eighteen today. I graduated early, and you can't stop me from jumping."
"Maybe not, but I can try. So what time were you born?"
"Twelve forty-five." I answered quietly, why does it matter to him?
"AM or PM?"
"Why? What does it matter?" I said a bit louder and angrier than I had intended. But on the inside I was happy someone wanted to know about me.
"You said you're turning eighteen today, not you are eighteen today. So I assume the time of your birth is playing a role in your plan. I want to know exactly how long I have to convince you someone does care about you and wants to know you." He stated. I must say he was dead on and I was surprised.
"How…" I started.
"Psychology interests me. I told you I have several degrees in it."
"So really your just here for a job. You have to do this, and I'm just your next subject."
"Nah, I told you I'm an art director. Those cops have no idea who I am or how I got up here. Actually one of them does, but I had to knock him out. See I'm going to get an assault on an officer charge, because I didn't want to see you waste your life."
"You hit a police officer?" I said in disbelief. Why would he do that for me he doesn't even know me.
"Yep, and that is usually a $1000 fine and/or six months in jail, but lucky me, I have a previous felony so I can get up to three years in jail and a $10,000 fine." Axel said indifferently.
"Why? Why would you risk that for me?"
"I was walking past and I saw you sitting up here. The weight of the world seemed like it was on your shoulders but when you looked down it seemed to go away. I was compelled by you, I don't know why, but I don't question my conscious. Then your mom started talking. Not once did I hear her say anything about you. It was all about them. That's how my dad was. It was always about him. So I'm risking jail time for you because I like you. I don't know anything other than what your body language tells me but I like you." Axel confessed to me, "Tell me, what you want to do when you're out of school?"
"I've always wanted to be a writer." Axel's smile grew ten times bigger. Why did he always seem so happy? "What?"
"Roxas, I work for a publishing company. Today, July 14th, 12:25 you Roxas Hikari, have met someone who can help you achieve your dreams."
"No, today, July 14th, 12:45, I Roxas Hikari, am going to jump." Axel's face fell at my words and I felt bad for a brief moment.
"But why? You're eighteen, an adult, you graduated high school. You have so many options open to you. When I tried to kill myself I was fifteen and under my father's law. I didn't have many options."
"What happened, you chicken out?"
"No, a friend found me. I was pissed at him for a long time. I almost ruined our friendship. Then I realized I didn't care what other people thought of me. If they didn't like me for who I was then they can go fuck themselves because I don't want to know them." Axel's smirk had returned.
"I have no money or scholarships to move out or go to college." I said, "That leaves me with no options."
"Move in with a friend." He beamed. Stupid happy redhead.
"I have no friends."
"Do I mean nothing to you?" Axel asked offended, smirk still in place.
"Pretty much." I said uncaring.
"That hurts Roxy that really hurts. I tell you all about me and I mean nothing to you." Axel sniffed.
"I'm jumping in less than twenty minutes. You don't want me as a friend."
"Yes I do. Whether it's for a lifetime or just seconds, I'd be happy to say I was friends with you."
"You're too positive."
"As Herm Albright once said, 'A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.' I love to piss people off and being positive can have that effect." I laughed, oh my God, I laughed, and I haven't laughed in years. Axel must have noticed my surprise, "See I can make you laugh and you still don't want to be friends with me?"
"Okay, we can be friends for a little bit."
"Great!" He said excitedly, "So can I move a little closer?" I shrugged and he moved closer. He was close enough to touch but not close enough that he could catch me. "Can I ask why you think this will help, you jumping I mean?"
"All my troubles will be gone. No one will care that I'm gay. And I won't care that no one cares about me, since I'll be nothing, nonexistent, gone."
"I care about you, and I don't care that you're gay. I'm actually a little happy about that, but this is not the time. Tell me something, in the time that I've been here, have you thought about your troubles."
"No."
"So jumping's not the only option." Axel insisted.
"Yes it is!" I stood up, one minute left. Then I saw Axel get up.
"Okay, I'm going with you." Axel smirked at me.
"What?"
"Yeah, I have troubles too. My boss cut my hours because of the shitty economy, my dad's suing me, one of my friends just died, and another is about to through himself off of a building. So I'm going with him, I don't want to deal with this shit anymore than you do." He said all traces of his previous smiles were gone, he looked serious for once.
"You're bluffing." I scoffed and he jumped. Oh my God!
I caught his thin arm just before it disappeared over the edge. Pulling with all the strength that was in me, grateful that he decided to help me pull him, I managed to get him back onto the tower. "Why the hell did you do that? Are you insane?" I yelled. I didn't even notice that it was 12:46, my only concern was Axel.
"Life's been hard, you of all people should understand. I was jumping with you. We were going to go together. And yes, I'm probably a little insane." Axel stated sincerely.
"That's stupid."
"I agree, but it's what you wanted."
"No, I wanted to jump alone!" I insisted with my voice raised.
"For the same reasons as me, why not go together?"
"You're too happy to jump."
"Not all the time. Yes I try to make the best of life but I'm not happy twenty-four seven. I have my problems too." I knelt down beside him, and looked into his beautiful eyes. There was sadness in them, and I could tell it was mostly for me. What if I hadn't caught him?
"Can I touch your hair?" I asked lightly. He smirked and nodded.
"Sure Roxy." I ran my fingers through it and was surprised at its softness. There was no product in it.
"Can I touch your face?" again he nodded.
"Sure Roxy." Using both hands I placed my thumbs over his tattoos and ran my fingers along his jaw line.
"Can I touch your chest?" another nod.
"Sure Roxy." Again, I used both hands to run over his exposed rock hard abs and moved up to his nipples where I found two piercings.
"Axel, as a friend, can I move in with you?"
"Sure Roxy."
"Can I kiss you?" He nodded again.
"Sure Roxy." I straddled Axel's legs and slowly pushed our lips together. He really knows what he's doing and I surprisingly didn't feel self conscious at my own lack of experience. This just felt right and tasted wonderful, and I wanted more. I pulled away,
"Can I ask to go out on a date with you?"
"Sure Roxy." I smiled as he nodded again, looking slightly dazed from the kissing.
"Axel, will you go on a date with me?"
"Of course, Roxy." He smiled at me and captured my lips. His tongue ran across my lips for entrance, I allowed it. I felt good for the first time in years. And to think I would've missed out on this perfect kiss had I jumped. Axel pulled away, "Hey, happy birthday Roxy."
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