So this story was created for a few friends of mine. Forevernyu and BloodyStrawberry (you better like this) and ProfessorHojotheGEN-I-US.
The ending was sort of rushed. I may go over it later.
Enjoy........ish..... tell me if there is anything wrong with it.
Lucci slipped on the pants that were way to freaking skinny even for his figure, and way to leathery for his liking. He could hear Kaku and Jayabura snickering at him from behind the little curtain that allowed him a little privacy in probably one of the most embarrassing situations of his life. The tank top came next; it was the repulsive color of neon green but it was supposed to draw in the potential pimps. Then the 'holy', as Kaku dubbed it, fishnet shirt went on and it didn't even reach his hips. Sure it would have been nice had he been into that kind of thing but the cloths were showing a bit too much for his comfort. But no-screw comfort he had a job to do.
He pulled the curtain back and stepped out to see two faces he really didn't want to see at that moment. Jayabura was holding back a laugh and his eyes were watering at the effort. Kaku's eye twitched and had a hand clamped over his mouth. They didn't need to speak, he already knew that he looked like a stripper and he sure as hell wasn't proud of it. Kalifa entered the room, she was about the only sane person in the room now that he could possibly trust at the moment. She motioned for him to follow her into the next room so that he could get geared up for his mission.
"Nice ass Lucci..." Kaku snickered as Lucci walked away. Lucci turned around and gave him the coldest glare he could muster which effectively shut Kaku up. Jayabura knew better than to say anything with Lucci still in the room.
"Lucci-san" Kalifa called to him, he focused his attention on her, "Okay, here put this in your ear," She handed him a small microphone, "You'll need this as well," She handed him a small belt, "It will be like a tracking device, you put it on one of your legs and if you're not going to be traveling to the desired destination then just squeeze your legs together that way no one notices and no one will be alerted" She finally handed him the all important recording device. He nodded and was about to head back to Kaku and Jayabura when Kalifa shoved some gel bracelets into his hands.
"What are these for?" He asked her as he quirked an eyebrow.
"To make you look more believable, it's what those people wear anyway, might as well play the part as best you can..." Kalifa muttered and shyly looked away from the bracelets.
"O-k?" Lucci glanced at the little bracelets then hastily slipped them on. He walked out of the room, refraining as much as possible from tugging at the butt end of his tight pants. Back in the changing room Jayabura's face contorted into that of sheer bemusement. Kaku was as equally confused and voiced his thoughts.
"What are you wearing?" Lucci gave him a hard glare that would have made anyone else cower, but not his co-worker,
"He's wearing Gel bracelets Kaku." Kalifa rolled her eyes.
"I know that, but why is he wearing them?" Kaku said defensively. He now backed away from Lucci as if he was infected with the plague.
"To make him look the part, Kaku." Kalifa explained while rubbing her temples in aggravation. Kaku stopped backing away but wearily eyed the bracelets and Lucci. Lucci ignored him and continued on his way to the door where a car was waiting outside for him, "We'll see you soon Lucci." Kalifa waved goodbye to him even though he wouldn't see it.
It wasn't a standard issue police car, it wasn't even a car as far as Lucci was concerned, the paint was chipped everywhere and though it was dark he could have sworn one of the back lights was missing. But it was all in the name of justice and looking the part to get the criminals. Lucci pulled open the door and cringed as the door squeaked. Mentally preparing himself for the (relatively short) ride Lucci got in and started up the engine.
It coughed to life and something small and metallic rattled inside the engine. But he proceeded forward and pulled the car out of its parallel park and started driving down the street to where the most stripper activity was reported; 60th and Omatsuri St.
After parking the infernal machine, that was supposed to be a car, in the darkest backstreet he could find Lucci made his way to a corner and waited for someone to approach him. Surprisingly it didn't take to long. A large red van sped around the corner he had just come from, pulled an illegal U-turn, and parked right in front of him.
He stomach began to churn unpleasantly when the door opened. A rather large man, almost as large as his partner Blueno, with a white beard that was shaped like an anchor leaned out of the back seat of the car. He smiled at him and waved him over.
"HEY," The man shouted, causing all of the people down the street to jump, "HOP IN! WHATEVER YOUR PRICE IS WE'RE WILLING TO PAY!"
"QUIET DOWN TILESTONE!" Someone shouted from the front of the car.
"SORRY LULU!" The man named Tilestone shouted, "BUT COME IN, WE NEED TO HURRY!" Lucci stared apprehensively at the slightly deranged Tilestone and got in. He slid to van door closed and found himself next to Tilestone, there was a man in the front with a hair sticking up at an awkward angle.
"LULU! WE NEED TO HURRY BEFORE THEY NOTICE!" Tilestone yelled again, trying to urge his friend to go faster.
"I know Tilestone, shut up, I'm driving as fast as I can!" immediately following his words Lulu quickly spun the wheel to the left, Lucci braced himself against the chair and the window of the car. He mentally noted that he would have to get the license plate of the car and arrest them later. They sped through some green lights, a yellow one or two and then only one red light. The buildings and streets were becoming lighter and cleaner. If it wasn't for him wearing a seatbelt Lucci would have gone flying through the chair and inevitably the windshield as well when Lulu suddenly stopped the car. Tilestone opened his passenger door and nearly yanked him out while telling him to follow them quickly. Lucci ripped his arm out of Tilestone's grasp and stepped out of the van and looked the building in front of him up and down.
It was nice to say in the least. The building had a clean cut up-town look to it. White, pristine, expected. The man named Lulu slammed the car door closed, locked it, and started going up the staircase. He stopped and turned back towards Lucci, he seemed a little peeved.
"Come on sir, it's just up this way," He pointed up the stairs and turned to Tilestone, "And don't say 'anything' when we get up there. If he finds out he's going to kill us." Tilestone smirked and held in the laugh that looked like it was killing him to keep in.
The room was large and spacious and looked nothing like the outside. People were in there, a large amount of people in there and the air was thick and one could hardly breathe in such an enclosed space. Lucci was wondering how they managed to squeeze in such large furniture, the flat-screen T.V., and the forty people. There was the obnoxious smell of alcohol and it looked like someone was already passed out on one of the couches with lots of permanent marker doodles upon his face. Tilestone had wandered off into the crowd, thumping someone on the back as if they were choking, sending the guy down to the floor.
Lulu tapped him on the shoulder and directed him towards the only door nearest to the balcony window. Lulu opened the door and revealed a very dark room….that looked small….very small. Lulu motioned for him to enter and he did so, even though his gut was telling him that it was a very, very, bad idea. When he entered the room the door slammed behind him and there was a sort of finality in the faint click of the lock. Lucci resisted the urge to break the door down so he leaned against the wall, which was covered with coats.
"What? Can't get any more original than a closet?" Lucci thought. Mentally planning the torture he would inflict upon Lulu he waited in the darkness of the closet, listening to the deafening music beat behind the door.
It wasn't a very long wait though, the lock clicked again and he was about to shove the door open all the way open when another body was thrown into the closet with him. As soon as the door had opened it had closed. And Lucci was left with a struggling being, pressed against him in the most uncomfortable way possible, trying to right themselves in the darkness.
"Oi, what the hell!" The other being, male, had yelled, "Who are you?"
"Lucci", He replied, "Rob Lucci. And who are you?"
"Paulie" and then the thick scent of cigars filled Lucci's nostrils.
"You smoke?" Lucci asked.
"Yes, may I ask why you are here?" Paulie replied and ended up settling himself in a corner across from Lucci.
"Your friends brought me here." There was a long pause that followed.
"You mean a guy with a pointy piece of hair sticking up on his head and a guy that can't speak at a normal volume?"
"Yes."
"Those bastards…." Paulie muttered more to himself. It sounded like he slapped himself on the forehead and groaned, "Wait…. Do you know them?"
"No, not really, they just came and picked me up and drove me here…" Lucci replied in a rather bored tone.
"Sooo….. are you a … um…. stripper?" The words didn't seem to want to come out of Paulie's mouth.
"You could say that," Lucci smirked in the darkness.
"Shit!" Paulie exclaimed which took Lucci by surprise.
"What?"
"Listen my 'friends' out there probably just picked you up to play a joke on me. Come on, I'll take you home." Paulie offered. He started standing up and, with the slip of the hand, ended up falling forward with the other hand out to break his fall.
Using Lucci's upper thigh as a support.
Another long pause ensued as both parties tried to find a way to play off the situation. Paulie gingerly removed his hand and muttered an apology. Lucci on the other hand was calm and helped himself up in the small closet. His hand brushed against something protruding from the wall, the light switch.
Light penetrated the darkness which caused both men to blink. When Lucci's eyes adjusted he focused on Paulie and found him looking tall, blond and covered from head to toe in blue and orange attire. Paulie was looking him up and down as well with a very obvious blush spread across his face.
"Like what you see?" Lucci asked. He mentally enjoyed watching the other man squirm for some reason.
"Uh….no-I mean-THAT'S SCANDELOUS CLOTHING YOU ARE WEARING!" As Paulie shouted his blush deepened. He reached for a coat and completely missed the rack, instead grabbing something above him and brought it down. Along with a lot of other closet junk. Paulie fell forward right into Lucci's chest and they both slid down to the floor. The heat radiating from Paulie's blush could have roasted 50 barbeques. This time there was a mad scramble to get off of each other. Paulie's hand slipped against Lucci's upper thigh again and this time caught onto the tracer. Instinctively Paulie looked down and saw the tracer and seemed to be putting two and two together.
"You're a cop?" He whispered. In reply Lucci pushed him off and pinned him to the wall.
"Say anything and-" Lucci growled.
"Woah, woah! Hey I'm a cop too!" Paulie raised his hands defensively in front of his face. Lucci ceased his hand from clasping around Paulie's wrist but glared at Paulie suspiciously.
"Show me your badge." Lucci demanded.
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours," Replied Paulie as his dug through his pants pocket. They both extracted their badges and verified their authenticity. Paulie pushed himself up the wall so he could bang on the door only to find it still locked. The music continued to play outside. It would be a very long evening locked in the closet with the each other.
Paulie, crestfallen to be locked away from his alcohol, turned around to find Lucci sitting up against the wall and staring intently at anything but himself. Paulie then too sudden interest in the other mans arms that were covered in thin, colorful, bracelets.
"So why are you wearing Gel bracelets?" Paulie inquired. Lucci stared down at his arms.
"To help look the part of a stripper." He replied then gave a Paulie questioning look, "Why?" Paulie smirked a little.
"Well you see those black ones there? Well…" Paulie reached over and started tugging on the bracelets in question.
From there the conversation turned into inappropriate jokes and questions and we'll just say Paulie was thanking whatever was holy 'up there' had that closet door locked.
The next morning
Kaku walked into the kitchen to find Lucci already sitting down to his cup of coffee. He waved and headed over to the coffee maker and fixed himself a cup as well. When he sat down to the table he couldn't help but let out a small snicker.
"So, you didn't come back to the station until this morning I heard," Lucci didn't say anything, "I guess you didn't find anyone? Which is strange," Lucci knew where he was going with the conversation and didn't say anything, "I would have thought that someone would have wanted to-what's the saying?-tap that?" Lucci glared at him and left the table. And if Kaku thought he didn't know any better he could have sworn he saw Lucci limp as he got up.
Oh I am a sick girl. Why do I do this? Oh yeah, because I am a slash fangirl, And we Slash fangirls can find any reason to slash your fav characters. Yet I still can't write porn...... ewwww.
Based off of this fanfiction we can deduce that,
Lulu driving at a normal speed limit is just as likely as Tilestone talking at a normal volume
Paulie would be one funny ass cop
You should never pick up a stripper, because you don't know which one is a cop.