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Because you are my one… And… Only… Without you my love My Heart's… So lonely Lonely Lonely Lonely… I remember a time that wasn't like this I used to know something else I'm certain of it There was a time when my thoughts ran in lines Not circles There was a time beyond nonsense and daydreams a time without pain a time as different from this one as Apples and oranges Red and blue Light and darkness Me and you… You You are the only thing I remember my love you You and no one else are in my thoughts In my mind You my love you my heart you my light you my life I live for and in memories and all of them are of you I can see them now there are two paths before me and their names are Right And Wrong They are deceptive- evil always is it sugarcoats its lies it seems to be the only option but there is another if only I can be Strong Enough To take it But it's hard, my love it's so so hard I don't know if I can I don't know if I'm strong enough Forgive me my weakness but I don't know why without you it's hard to survive I was always Musical And yet It all meant nothing until I met you… Shall I tell you of the deceptions, love? Of the sweet face wickedness wears as it begs for me to betray all that is right? Shall I? I must, I think. I have no choice, I think This is what it looks to me, as I crouch in the darkness. As if borrowing the power of the sister I only half remember beyond the vast haze of the agony, I can see the future stretch out before me But not one road presents itself There are two, twins One light and one dark But which is which, my love? Which is which? Tell me, love. I don't know the difference… Not Anymore. See, over here. Tell me, how can this be good? How can this be right? I see it, I see it, yet it brings me no joy Only Agony At the mere contemplation Pain, my love. So much of it. The world is Pain. Yes, this is what I see. I see the life I live now. And nothing more And nothing less. All I see is darkness How can that be right? My love? How can it be that I am meant to spend forever in a world with but two colors? Black And red. Black, the night, the eternal nothingness of my soul that is not, of my heart that I left when I left you, of my mind that knows but one thought and that thought is pain Red, the color of the blood that sings my name but I don't even notice, blood that is no longer even a distraction from the agony, red, the color of the hair of the enemy I will destroy, red, the color of pain. How can this be good? How can decency compel me to take this empty path? Where is heaven here, my love? Where is God's good hand in this hell? There is another path, a voice calls to me in the darkness Another path entirely No, there is no wider range of color here No rainbow Yet I do not need it I see the only thing I've ever wanted A plentitude of images, if not hues All I need is here All I want is here See them spin before my oppressed eyes, faster and faster, till I can scarcely register them all There you are, my love. So, so beautiful… that's a wedding dress, my love I can see your brown hair cascading down it, I can see the thin gold fabric covering your perfect and so beloved face I can see the golden skirt gather and fall to the ground I can see the golden ring shining on your hand- it's my mother's ring, my human mother's, and I gave it to you Not a sacrifice. Nothing I give you is. It's a joy An honor My love. Another picture now. Your dress changes, shifts into simple clothing. I don't notice it Only one thing is important I drown in the Perfection Of your eyes Endless, endless brown Warmth, surrounding my cold body This corpse-man incased in it, brought in, warmed by your gracious mercy By the sweet and beautiful brown Switch, disappear, the image zooms down, from your eyes to… ah, love. Is it shameful, to admit this? No, it isn't Not for Me. Because this is a man's desire And not a monster's. I see you now, my love, not in the bride's finery Or in the simple dress of our every-day togetherness Love, your clothing falls away All of it I have seen the Denali coven Those vaunted temptresses In all their lusty fervor They Do not compare To how beautiful You are to me, my love, standing like this I want you. I want you. How can this be the images of the devil, if they show me heaven? The other is hell, the world empty of you. That is the Inferno, my dearest. The world empty of you Yet… Another picture You lie On your back Brown hair falling to your waist Gold ring, twinkling on your hand Brown eyes, open… but empty Red blood, one drop On your neck The rest is Gone I taste it, almost This is the devil's doing, this temptation. It is not what is right It shows me What I want Not what I should do… What I should do is stay here… In the darkness Alone Forever You are the only thing that gives me the strength to do it To live in this sad empty lonely world Where the only colors Dimmed by pain But still bright enough to mock me Are Black and Red And Brown and Gold