Title: Prelude to the Night of a Captain (double drabble)
Author: Singing Violin
Rating: K
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Summary: A short scene that may have predicated Janeway's seclusion in "Night."
Disclaimer: They're not mine.
Her door is always open.
She vowed that this time, she will get to know her crew, take care of them, be there for them. Truthfully, she doesn't have much choice.
It's rewarding, but exhausting. She can't let down her guard, not ever, in case she is interrupted. If there are tears in her eyes, they must be of sympathy.
It's one of those days, and her visitor is Talaxian. "You are in distress," he suggests, offering some 'comfort food' she doesn't even find inviting.
The words echo Gath's, and suddenly, she can't do it anymore.
"Sorry, Neelix, it's not a good time," she hears herself say as she practically shoves him out the door.
The solitude is refreshing, and she is hungry for more.
She grabs a padd, sends a memo to her first officer: Hold my calls. I'm not to be disturbed.
She breathes a sigh of relief, enables the lock, and then, for the first time in an eternity, she lets herself cry. She doesn't even know why she's weeping, but it feels good.
And then, she can't stop.
As she drowns in her tears, she makes a firm decision: From now on, my door is closed.