A/N: This Fic Goes Along With The Song "How to Save a Life" by The Fray, But Not Entirely. I've Been Hooked On Criminal Minds A Lot So These Fics Are Born From My Obsession =) As Always Please R&R I Love To Hear From My Readers! ^.^
Warnings: Slash. Mentions Of Drug Use And Suicidal Thoughts.
Summary: He knew there was something wrong. Was it too late to help him?
DISCLAIMER: ASIDE FROM THE FIRST FOUR SEASONS ON DVD AND A [UN]HEALTHY OBSESSION WITH ONE DR. SPENCER REID, I DO NOT OWN CRIMINAL MINDS.
Reid was sitting at his desk doing his paper work. However, the pile seemed to be growing every time he looked at it. Either he's imagining things or the other members of the team slipped him some of theirs, like always. It didn't matter though, he'd get through all of them faster than the rest of the team. Reid sighed and stood up, needing his coffee fix. He walked past Morgan's desk and Morgan stood up, too.
"Hey, Reid? Can I talk to you?" Morgan asks in a slightly quiet tone. Reid stopped walking and turned to face Morgan.
"Uh, sure. I was going to get some coffee." Morgan nodded and joined him walking to the break area. Reid grabbed a cup of the liquid lava and poured his usual amount of sugar in it.
"You want some coffee with that sugar?" Morgan asked. Reid gave a half-hearted smile and stirred his cup. They were silent for a moment. Reid looked at Morgan, who seemed to be having a conflict going on in his head.
"What did you want to talk about?" Reid asked, wishing to get away from him. He'd give anything to be alone right now. He's been doing well with the whole…problem that he's been having. But times like this, awkward times and hard cases made him wish he could disappear and have that temporary escape from reality.
"Uh, somewhere private." Reid gave Morgan a questioning look as Morgan began walking in the direction towards the bathrooms. He walked right into the men's room and Reid paused outside the door. Should he follow him in? He wasn't sure until Morgan poked his head outside the door. "You comin' in?" And with that he was gone again. Reid sighed and walked inside the bathroom that he spent so many hours just wasting away in. Reid leaned against the wall and stared at Morgan. What was going on? Was he ok? Reid hated not knowing things that involved his friends.
"Morgan? Are you ok?" Reid asked quietly. Morgan bit his bottom lip. "Oh no" Reid thought. Morgan only bit his bottom lip when something bad was going on. The only other time Reid saw Morgan do this was when he came clean about Carl Buford.
"Ok, I'm just going to go and ask. Re-Spencer, are you using again?" Morgan asked quietly, quiet enough that Reid almost missed it, but he didn't. Reid seemed to freeze in place. "How does he know? Is it that obvious?" Reid thought to himself.
"M-Morgan, no. I'm not. Why do you ask?" Reid had slight panic in his voice. He worked so hard to keep his renewed addiction a secret. I guess secrets are hard to keep from profilers.
"Reid, please don't lie to me. You're my best friend and I want you to be able to talk to me." Reid began to get a little angry. Who says he was lying? Just because he was lying, it wasn't the point.
"Morgan, I am not lying." Reid said, his face gaining a shade of redness to it.
"Spencer, don't bullshit me. You think after six years together I don't know you? Now I know you got over it before and-"
"And you think that I'm using again? On what proof? Huh Morgan?!" Reid was angry now.
"Spencer, you're more pale than normal. You're wasting away to nothing and I'm sure it's not just because you haven't been eating." Morgan did yell or scream, in fact, he was very calm with hints of worry and fear in his voice.
"Well, you're wrong! I'm perfectly fine. I just haven't- No, I don't have to explain myself to you." Spencer turned and placed his hand on the handle to open the door but Morgan was next to him and placed his hand on top of Reid's.
"Ok, I'm sorry. I'm just worried, that's all." Morgan sighed. "If you ever need me, you know I'm here for you, right? You're my best friend and I love you." Morgan moved his hand to Reid's shoulder now. Reid shrugged it off.
"Yeah, thanks." Was all Reid said as he walked out the door, leaving Morgan standing there in disbelief. Did he just lose his best friend?
The next day at work, Reid had long sleeves on. Well, he always did but he almost always had them pulled up unless it was really cold and since it was July, Morgan highly doubted that he was cold. This had been happening a lot and it could only mean one thing.
Morgan sat at his desk, contemplating things. Should he confront Reid about his worries? After yesterday he wasn't so sure.
"Sweetness, you ok?" Came a cheerful yet slightly worried tone from behind Morgan. He turned around to come face-to-face with Garcia. Morgan ran his hand over his face.
"Yeah, I just have a headache." Garcia gave him the 'you can't fool me but I'll let you slide for now' look.
"Ok, just let me know if you want to talk. My door is always open." She smiled and hugged Morgan before scampering off. Morgan sighed and looked over at Reid's desk. He was gone. Morgan stood up and looked around, not seeing the young agent.
"What's wrong?" Morgan jumped at the voice. Reid was standing right behind him, holding his cup of coffee. Morgan took some deep breaths.
"You scared me. I didn't see you and I got worried…" Morgan trailed off. Should he really go down this road again? Reid just stared at him.
"Follow me." Reid whispered as he walked away towards a seldom used conference room. Morgan followed and once they were both inside, Reid shut the door behind them. "Morgan, I know you're worried about me, especially how I reacted yesterday. But you need to understand, I'm not at kid, as much as you all seem to think I am. Nothing is wrong with me, I've just been a little sick and extra tired lately. Please, stop treating me like a victim from a case and start treating me as a friend. Trust me, I'm fine." Reid finished speaking and Morgan just stared at him. Reid was looking out the window now. Morgan still knew there was something wrong but he let the topic drop for now. Reid turned to face Morgan again as Morgan stepped close to Reid, invading his personal bubble.
"Reid, I'm sorry. I just get worried. I just don't want to lose you." Morgan spoke quietly and pulled Reid into a loving hug. Reid was reluctant but returned the hug. Once they separated, Morgan saw Reid blush a little.
"Well, I…Gotta go…" Reid trailed off and walked out of the room. Morgan stood there staring at the space Reid had just occupied. Should he tell him his true feelings? No, he can't. He can't mess with Reid's head like that. Or mess up their friendship. Morgan sighed a heavy sigh and walked out of the room as well and headed towards his desk.
Over the next few weeks, Reid seemed to be getting better. At least, that's what Morgan could determine. Reid was eating again and he became his usual pale self. Morgan and Reid have also been getting closer. Ever since their talk, Morgan wanted to test Reid, see how he felt. Morgan didn't want to just come out and tell the genius he was in love with him, so he came up with the idea to test him. A brush of the hand here, loving glances there, plus they hugged more often now, not around the others but when they were alone. Just small, simple hugs. Comforting ones. One arm around the shoulder, sneaking up from behind, those kind.
One night after coming back from a case, Reid was exhausted. He had fallen asleep on the plane and the car ride back to BAU.
"Morgan I'm fine. I can drive." Said a very sleepy Reid, eyes half shut. Morgan shook his head.
"Nuh uh. I'm driving you pretty boy and you're staying at my house tonight. That's final." Reid didn't put up much of a fight after that. He slid into the passenger side of Morgan's SUV as Morgan got in the driver's side. They drove off into the night towards Morgan's house. Reid fell asleep on the short car ride there and when Morgan pulled into his driveway and shut the car off, Reid was still passed out and showed no sign of waking up. He smiled to himself as he rounded the car and plucked Reid from the seat, shut the door, and carried him to his front door. He held Reid awkwardly with one hand as he got his house key and placed it in the lock and opened the door. Morgan was greeted by his dog, Clooney, trying to jump on him. "Down boy. We have a guest." Morgan whispered, surprised Reid was still sound asleep. Morgan walked over to the couch and laid Reid down. He walked over to the closet and pulled out a spare blanket and placed it over Reid's sleeping form. He looked so peaceful sleeping, like an innocent child. Morgan smiled to himself and walked into the kitchen to get some water and food for Clooney. Clooney, however, did not follow. Morgan questioned his dog's absence and walked back into the living room. The sight he saw was adorable.
Reid, fast asleep and Clooney, lying on the couch as well and laying his head on Reid's legs. Morgan laughed quietly and walked up the stairs to his bedroom to get some rest.
The next morning was a day off so Morgan was able to sleep in a little. He sat up in bed and tried to blink the remaining sleep away. He smelled something wonderful and decided to follow the smell. It led him to the kitchen and to Reid cooking what seemed to be bacon and eggs with Clooney laying at his heels.
"I didn't know you could cook." Morgan said, walking over to the fridge and grabbing some orange juice. Reid jumped slightly but settled down.
"My mom taught me. I just never really have the chance to cook since we're always working on cases a lot." Reid said as he placed the cooked bacon onto a plate. "I hope you don't mind. I was really hungry and I figured if I make you some too you wouldn't be too mad about me invading your things."
"Spencer, it's fine." Morgan stood watching Reid cook in silence. "You know, he really likes you." Reid turned to Morgan with a questioning look and Morgan pointed to Clooney who was still laying at Reid's heels. "It took almost a whole month for Clooney to get used to me but you're in here for one night and he already liked you enough to sleep with you last night." Reid smiled at this. He liked the fact the he felt so welcome here.
Reid finished breakfast and they sat down and ate quietly with some small talk here and there. They had decided to spend the day together since they had nothing better to do. They cleaned up the mess from breakfast and headed into the living room to watch some tv. They sat next to each other, separately at first but Reid slowly inched his way closer to Morgan until their arms and thighs were touching. Morgan thought about what he should do. Should he put his arm around Spencer? Was that to cliché? Would Spencer even like it? Almost on queue Reid laid his head on Morgan's shoulder and Morgan took the chance and maneuvered his arm so it was lying across Reid's shoulders. Reid nuzzled into Morgan's neck and Clooney jumped onto the couch and laid his head on Reid's lap. They sat like that for quite some time. Neither of them wanted to move. Eventually Morgan had enough, he had to tell Reid. He moved his arm away from Reid, ignoring the protest he received. He turned and faced Reid.
"Reid, listen I-" Morgan was cut off when soft, partially chapped lips clashed onto his. He was frozen for only a spilt-second before returning the kiss. This is exactly what he had been wanting to do for years and it was finally happening. He felt as if he were on cloud 9. After a few moments of the battle for dominance in their mouths, they pulled apart for some air and just stared into each other's eyes. What they both saw in the other was nothing they could describe. They could only come up with one thing, love. They smiled and kissed again, this time more passionately and it lasted a lot longer. Once apart, Reid was the first to speak.
"Derek, I love you. You have no idea how much you have helped me the past few weeks. I loved you longer than that but these past few months have been hell for me. Thank you." Morgan stared in shock. Spencer Reid, the man he had been in love with since he first joined the team had just admitted he loved him.
"Pretty boy, I love you too. I've waited too long to tell you that." Morgan ran his fingers through Reid's hair and pulled him into another kiss. But Reid pulled away this time.
"Wait, Morgan. I have one more thing I have to say before we even think about starting a relationship. We need to be honest with each other and I haven't been honest with you." Morgan looked at Reid with eyes that had confusion and worry in them. "Remember a few weeks ago when you confronted me in the bathroom at work? And I said nothing was going on with me?" Morgan nodded. "Well, you were right, about everything. I hadn't been eating and I had been using again. I didn't want anyone to know, obviously. I had decided that day, only moments before you asked me to talk, to end…everything. I wasn't going to make it to the following day." Morgan's eyes began to water and he laced his fingers with Reid's, holding his hand.
"Spencer, why would that even cross your mind?" Morgan asked, he wasn't mad, just concerned and a little worried. "What happened that made it seem that your life wasn't worth living?"
"I was just getting tired of the job. Case after case of the same thing and I was just sick of it. Do you know how many times I'd be looking at an unsub with a gun pointed at me and I just wished they would shoot? And not to disarm, but to kill?" Reid had tears falling from his eyes at this point and Morgan wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a warm, loving hug.
"I'm here for you, baby boy. I'm always here for you." Morgan kissed the top of his head and let Reid sob into his shoulder. Once the sobs subdued, Reid looked up at Morgan.
"Thank you, for everything Derek. Without you, I wouldn't be here with you. I wouldn't even be alive. You knew how to save a life."
A/N: The End! I Hoped You Guys Enjoyed It! I Know It Got A Little Corny/Cheesy At the End But I Like How It Turned Out. As Always Please Review I Would Really Like To Hear What You Guys Think! ^.^
~Bibi