Kurt knew that his friendship with Blaine was special. They were really close to each other, like best friends were supposed to be, and they really loved doing the same things, like talking about their favorite musicals, giving their opinions on the book the other was reading, and sometimes Kurt would rumble a little bit too much about fashion designers, but Blaine would always be there to listen to him and sometimes tell him to shut up, just like Kurt would listen to him talking about what football players and Disney movies he liked the most. That's what they've been doing since they were both two seven-year-old boys who couldn't find anyone else who wanted to share a seat with them on the bus. They used to joke about the fact that sometimes Kurt's room seemed to have more of Blaine's things in there than Kurt's, and it was just the same in Blaine's house, since they were kids.
And since they were kids, they always felt like the outcasts of school, and they bonded even more over that. First they thought it was just because they were both interested in things most boys didn't like, for example singing and just staying clean for the whole school period, but later, as they grew up, they realized it also had something to do with their sexuality. They would never deny that they had a hard time believing that everything people would shout at them in the hallways could be actually, reality for them. But their friendship never changed because of that. Some people would shout homophobic stuff at them when they entered high school, especially in the beginning, and they would get some slushies, but they never bothered too much with that. They were who they were no matter what.
But sometimes Kurt wondered why his friendship with Blaine was becoming so different from the kind of friendship that Finn and Puck had, for example. And not really on the outside, because they were still two teenage boys, despise of everything. Sometimes he wondered why he would think of him and Blaine in the future, and in hi's mind they would always be together but not just as best friends. Other things were becoming regular in his mind, like Blaine without any gel in his hair, and with glasses when they would study in the afternoon in Blaine's room, or the way Blaine loved to eat strawberries and lick his fingers after, and Kurt couldn't stop imagining what Blaine's lips would taste like after eating chocolate with him.
Kurt was realizing he was thinking too much about it. He was starting to have feelings, deeper feelings, for his best friend. He didn't understand how that could be possible, given the fact that he was more than used to Blaine being around him since they were seven, and he had seen Blaine in the most awkward and embarrassing situations, like his stupid crush for that Jeremiah guy, he had even seen him naked, and never thought of him in other way than 'his goofy and smart best friend', because it was just too weird, but lately things had become more difficult to handle for Kurt. He started feeling awkward every time Blaine would give him a hug or hold his hand after a really hard test. That's who Blaine was, the very touchy feely person who would give him a hug or kiss him on the cheek for any reason. And right now Kurt hated that all of those kisses were just on the cheek.
He also hated himself for feeling like that, and he thought it was probably because Blaine was, unfortunately, the only other gay boy he even knew, and because Blaine had been there for him for as far as he could remember. He also hated feeling attracted to Blaine because he knew he would never be corresponded, because in his mind, it was impossible for Blaine to be attracted by him. Who would ever be attracted to him, anyway?
Things were becoming difficult for Kurt, and he was afraid of pushing Blaine away without realizing it, just to avoid been closer to his best friend, the one he was falling for.
Junior prom was just a few weeks away, but Blaine still didn't know how to tell Kurt that he wanted to go with him. And not just as friends. It could be pretty hard to tell your best friend that you're falling in love with him. He didn't even know when he realized it, or how, but he knew that after one particular sleepover in Kurt's house, he told Blaine about The Talk with him and his dad and the pamphlets he gave to Kurt, and Blaine just wanted to explain everything to him. Well, after his pathetic crush on a GAP employee, he learned a little bit more about sex. Yes, he got curious and searched about it in the most ridiculous way a teenage boy could ever do, trough the internet.
"I can't even believe it. So you mean you watched porn on the computer?" Kurt asked in one afternoon when they were studying in Blaine's room and he brought up the Jeremiah topic, and Blaine answered with a huge blush on his face "Of course not, but I searched for some, you know, information".
He knew Kurt would never do that. His friend had always been shy when it came to sex. They even stopped being naked in front of each other after they turned twelve, because he knew Kurt felt embarrassed. For Blaine, it was different. He was a little bit more open to things and to people, so it was easier for him to want things like that, but Kurt always thought more about the romance in things.
Blaine started thinking about telling him what he had found out about sex, but then, later, he started thinking about Kurt and sex, and he was feeling really bad because of that. In his mind, he couldn't just think about kissing the boy who held his hand when they were both eight years old to cross the street and go to elementary school. It was just a little too wrong to think in a romantic way about the boy who cried for a whole week in his shoulder after his mother died. It was his best friend in the entire world, and Blaine just wanted to kiss him and hug him so tight he would never have to let him go. But even if he felt like it was something unbelievably wrong, he couldn't avoid it. Everything Kurt did was bringing him back to those thoughts.
It wasn't just in the sexual way though. He was used about everything in Kurt's personality, like his sassiness, his bad temper, his sarcasm and how whenever he was sad, he would go to Blaine's and they would bake a cake together. But right now, it was like seeing him for the first time after a lot of years. He still knew him that well, but it was like he never really observed before. Things were coming to a point where Blaine was desperate, and he really needed to find out how to tell Kurt about that, because he just couldn't forget it. It would hurt him too much.