-1The librarian woke me this morning. It's difficult sleeping in a library when the librarian's an Orang-utan. He got me up for one reason. To go to the Drum and get his wallet. Where the hell he keeps the bloody thing I'll never know. Don't want to really.

So anyway, I was quite happily walking down towards the Drum. Not much happened. I passed sergeant Carrot on the way, doing his usual arresting business. They fought back of course, but only broke their own foot in the process.

So anyway, I got to the Drum without any incident, which, with my luck, means that something was going to become an incident. So I walked up to the barman and I said

"Barkeep. I'm here for the Librarian's wallet if you don't mind." Well he did mind. I soon found myself staring up a pair of trolls. I didn't want to get in any trouble, so I asked them politely where they were from.

"Wot? Where r we from?"

"'Ere! He's 'aving us on!"

They replied, stupidity as evident in their voices as in the kid in primary school who sits in the corner wearing a red pointed hat with something spelt wrong.

………………… Hmm……………….

I thought about what I had just thought and realised. I am small, crouched in the corner wearing a pointy red hat that says wizzard instead of wizard. Maybe I can get the arch-chancellor to change that for me.

So anyway, it being well established that I wont be getting the libarians wallet I decided to take another look around the room.

Squeak!!! What? Squeak squeak!!! I look down at the small skeletal rodent at my feet. I try to stamp it out but the little bugger went straight through my foot. So I'm not good enough for him anymore. As soon as I said it, I regretted it. A chill went up my back like something very cold and fast.

Ahhh, said a flat voice like lead, Mr Rincewind. About bloody time.

"Errmm… I'm not dead yet."

Soon will be Continued the voice that sounded like a coffin being slammed shut.

So anyway, there I was, stuck between a pair of rocks and a bony place. I was going to die. But that's nothing new. One of the trolls lunged forward. Or that's what I thought. Really it fell, but I still sh… You don't want to know.

So anyway, there was this troll, on the floor, quite blatantly incapacitated. And on its back sat a chest. The other troll was new in town. You can tell by three ways.

One, he had one of Dibbler's buns.

Two, his wallet was still attached to his belt and

Three, he didn't run from the Luggage.

Personally I don't like seeing the Luggage go to work on someone. All I heard as I darted out of the Drum was a voice as cold as stone shouting

I'll get you yet, you wizzard!

All in all, normal day