What had that look shared between them last night meant? Did the deafening silence that consumed the air in the room around them after their words were spoken to one another signify anything? Addison had been searching for answers ever since the moment their eyes had succeeded in lingering on one another for a second too long. She had paid Doctor Karev a compliment. Nothing more, nothing less. He was a decent guy, and there was nothing inappropriate about Addison recognizing that…was there? Even if there was, Addison was not sure she regretted the kind words she had spoken to Alex. That was what scared her most. She wasn't supposed to be enjoying his company at all. He was a pain in the ass, and that was how it should stay. Addison wasn't going soft with him over a few nice words to that girl about telling her baby's father the truth. No, it was just a moment of weakness. She despised Alex Karev. He was disrespectful and cocky and stubborn. He was sweet too. Addison sighed, shaking her head in frustration.
Damnit Addison, get it together.
And yet, she couldn't forget his eyes. Those piercing eyes. He actually seemed proud to have received Addison's approval. He had smiled at her. He had responded with a genuine thank you and where did that leave Addison? It left her standing here in the woman's restroom during a break second guessing her emotional stability. Not that she wasn't stable. She was fine. It was just, well, since Derek she hadn't been herself. She was afraid to open up with anyone at this hospital anymore. Derek had hurt her. Mark had hurt her. Alex never had. Sure, he had called her Satan once or twice when she had first arrived at Seattle Grace last year, but Addison assumed that was more because of his friendship with Meredith than dislike for her. It didn't matter though. None of this mattered. They had a moment. It was unexpected and nice, but that was all there was to it.
"I'm alright…" Addison wasn't sure if she was making a statement or a question, but as she stared at her worn expression in the mirror, she realized that she had to get better control of herself. Derek had caused her to just let her heartache and fears consume her, but no more. No man defined her. She had to keep repeating that. Maybe one day she would start to believe that she truly did matter on her own again. As Addison exited the restroom, she felt her breath catch as she saw him walking towards her with that all too familiar arrogant smirk plastered on his face. "Addison, I mean, Doctor Montgomery" Alex greeted with a small nod of the head for recognition. "Addison is fine", Addison responded calmly. Inside she was screaming at herself. Addison was fine? Addison was not fine. She was his superior for God's sakes, and she needed to start acting like it again.
"Ok, Addison" , Alex corrected confidently. "How's it going?" Like Addison, Alex had been replaying their exchange in the ER last night over and over in his head, but unlike Addison, he wasn't the least bit nervous about it. He was unafraid of going after what interested him, and Addison sure as hell caught his attention. She was attractive and a well established doctor. There was also that sassy way she carried herself that drew Alex to her like a moth to a bright light. "Good. It's going good", Addison told him as an answer to his question. "As far as I know, Janelle and her baby are still stable. I'm about to go check up on them now if you'd like to join me." Of course he did, Alex thought to himself. He would follow her anywhere. "Yeah, sure." Addison sighed, grabbing her clipboard with Janelle's medical information on it. "She was transported from the ICU to a room last night. The rate of her recovery is astounding." It truly was a miracle. Addison had been concerned for the young mother to be, and to know that everything was looking bright for her future gave Addison a small dose of hope for hers. "That's great, wow", Alex was just as relieved as Addison.
He didn't admit it aloud to anyone, but he missed working under Addison. He missed encouraging women with their children and watching their smiles as they were told their child was going to make it. He hated having to say otherwise, but the job was still one he felt connected to. Addison had a valid point when she told Alex that joining Mark Sloan under Plastics was a mistake. "You were right", Alex said as they neared Janelle's room. "I'm sorry?" Addison asked, confused as to what he was referring to. "You were right, when you said that I'd miss you. I do." Addison stopped, biting her bottom lip. She remained quiet for a long time, and she could hear Alex shifting uncomfortably behind her. "I said I miss you", Alex repeated, not knowing what else to say or do. Addison turned slowly, a smile present on her face. "I heard you Alex. Thank you." Alex nodded, smiling back at her. "Sure." Addison sighed, that all too familiar feeling overcoming her as she felt herself getting lost in Doctor Karev's eyes. "Umm, Janelle…we should get to her." What? Why had Addison done that? Even she didn't understand herself sometimes. Why did she have to be so scared? She knew why though. She had been let down one to many times. She couldn't handle another disappointment. "Right, ok." Alex was upset. Addison could see the annoyance in his eyes as he shoved past her and into the room. She hadn't meant to hurt him. It was just easier this way. It was better that she hurt him before he could hurt her. It had to be.