I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE DIARIES OR THE CHARACTERS.
Music Credit: "Bad Influence" – P!nk

~*.*~
'Alright sir, sure, I'll take another one – it's early.
Three olives, shake it up – I like it dirty.
Tequila for my friend – it makes her flirty.
Trust me; I'm the instigator of underwear, showing up here and there.
Uh, oh.
(Oh, no.)
I'm always on a mission from the get go.

So what, if it's only one o'clock in the afternoon?
It's never too soon to send out all the invitations to the last night of your life.

Lordy, lordy, lordy, I can't help it – I like to party.
It's dramatic – it's electrifying.

Wind me up and watch me go, where she stops, nobody knows.
A good excuse to be a bad influence on you...'
~*.*~

"Rebekah, how pleasant to see you this morning." Stefan smirked and looked at her blanket-clad body.

"I wish I could say the same, but at the moment, I'm partial to your brother." She quipped. He chuckled and took a drink of blood. I smirked. He's not such a bunny-muncher anymore. I like it.

"What's wrong little brother? Jealous that I'm bedding your ex?" I jabbed, smirking. He looked at me, amused.

"Please Damon, I've been there. Done her. If I wanted to repeat the process you wouldn't be in the picture."

"You do realize that I'm right here and I can hear you, idiots." Rebekah got up, covering herself with the blanket before speeding off to get dressed.

"Say what you want. I know it makes your skin crawl when I bed someone you used to be with. I had Katherine, Lexi, Elena, Rebekah…" I taunted. I'm bored. What better to do than pick a fight? This morning just got interesting.

"Damon, if you want to sleep with my sloppy leftovers, I think that says more about you, than me. And as for Lexi, I never slept with her."

"But you loved her, and I killed her. That has to count for something." My smirk grew wider.

"Are determined to piss me off this morning?" He asked me, taking a step closer. I chuckled.

"What if I am? Pissed off Stefan is way more fun than brooding Stefan. You're sad, you're tortured, you're emotional, you're sorry… Blah, blah, blah. I've heard that story, done that dance, and seen that movie! Do something new! Everyone gets it. You've repented. So what?! Would it kill you to have a little fun once in awhile?" I asked him. I've definitely captured his attention now.

"And just how is being pissed off fun, Damon?" He asked me, studying my behavior.

"Hey, we've gotta start somewhere. I mean, hey, you're drinking human blood again. That's a start. Bambi and his brothers can all live a fear-free life knowing that you're reformed."

"This is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard." He turned to pour himself some bourbon.

"I really doubt that. I mean, you've lived with me for how long? And even if it is, it doesn't stop anything that I said from being true. I've nailed your exes. Just admit that it bothers you." I said, trying to get a rise out of him. "Maybe we should go ask Rebekah which Salvatore she preferred sleeping with."

"My God, are you two still on about this?" Rebekah snapped, reappearing beside us.

"All Stefan has to do is answer my question." I smirked. Rebekah rolled her eyes and Stefan looked like he wanted to laugh.

"I'm already bored of this." Rebekah decided. "Alright, new game. Get ready." She announced. She dragged me and Stefan in front of her. She looked us in the eyes. "You're going to fight this out and you're going to do everything I ask you to do. Is that clear?" Her eyes widened and I felt the compulsion taking over. We've been getting lazy with our vervain intake. Well, shit. "Now, this will be entertaining." She smiled. "Alright, get to it. Oh, and try not to tear the house us. You never know what fun we'll have later."

She clapped her hands together. I looked at Stefan and punched him in the face. He went down but quickly recovered and lunged at me. He tackled me to the ground and I kneed him in the gut. He picked me up and threw me into the wall across the room. I got back up and hit him in the nose.

"Now, boys, as entertaining as you are, you'd be far more entertaining with your shirts off; don't you agree?" Rebekah asked. We threw off our shirts and continued going at it. I've fought my brother before, but I don't like being forced to do it. If anyone's going to hurt Stefan, it's going to be me. But, I'm going to decide when and how it happens.

"Are you done getting your kicks in?" I asked Rebekah as I hit Stefan. I grunted as he kicked me in the side.

"You're right. I don't want to tire you out, too much. Stop fighting boys. Come here." She commanded.

"You're such a slave-driver." I complained.

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Damon."

"That's not what you said last night." I reminded her. Her cheeks turned pink and she glared at me. Stefan was not even bothering to cover-up his laughter.

"Yes, this is hilarious." Rebekah growled. "You two face each other and kiss." She demanded.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Yes, Damon, seriously. And make it convincing. I want a hot, passionate, can't keep your hands off of each other, I want to sex you, kiss." She smirked. Stefan walked over to me and stroked the side of my face. I couldn't stop myself. "I want you to want to kiss each other." She was beaming.

I leaned in, tentatively, and pressed my lips to Stefan's. He placed a hand in my hair and held me to him. He sucked my bottom lip between his teeth and bit down on it, lightly. I groaned and opened my mouth wider. He slid his tongue in and started to massage it against my own. I ran my hand down his back and gripped his waist. We kept kissing until Rebekah cleared her throat.

"That's enough." She decided. We turned to face her, irritated.

"You took brotherly love to a whole different and unwanted level. That was low, even for you." I sneered. She has a mischievous glint in her eye. She's up to something.

"Tell me something, Damon, why would a girl sit and listen to you talk about her like she's nothing but a conquest without doing something about it?" She drawled. "And more importantly, why would I choose one of you, when I can have both?" She asked, grinning. It suddenly dawned on me. She wants a threesome. "I want you to take me upstairs, take your clothes off and ravish me. I want to have the best sex I've had in my life from the both of you. And don't think that I'm about compelling you to do other naughty things to each other if you don't deliver." She smirked and started heading upstairs. We both followed her, feeling the compulsion take over. Well, I wanted interesting. Today certainly proved to be… interesting.

~*.*~
'I'm off to see the doctor.
I hope she has a cure.
I hope she makes me better.
What does that even mean?
We don't know!

Lordy, lordy, lordy, I can't help it – I like to party.
It's dramatic – it's electrifying.

Wind me up and watch me go, where she stops, nobody knows.
A good excuse to be a bad influence on you…'
~*.*~

A/N: Alright guys, I'm not gonna lie. I had fun with this. It's more or less based off my husband's suggestion for a funny one-shot. I've never written Rebekah before, so she's probably a bit OOC. Anyways, let me know what you think. If you have any burning ideas for a one-shot, send me a PM.
-Anneryn