Disclaimer: I place my highest respect to the mangaka of Gakuen Alice.
Title: What Little Things
Author: Elle Kanon
Date Written: 6th day of June, 2011
Date Finished: 6th day of June, 2011
Status: Complete [ONE-SHOT]
Summary: She felt him. She wanted him to know that. That is why she wrote a letter for him. [Hotaru x Ruka]
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April 14, 2011
Dear Ruka,
Perhaps my reason for abandoning the class was something to read between the lines. Perhaps the grounds of my disappearance were the infants of a storm inside me. Perhaps the impending circumstances that I have long drawn in my mind weren't my only reasons. Perhaps I was just scared, constantly and secretly fearing that I ventured the wrong road.
So many perhaps that even I, myself cannot truly grasp what was inside me. But one thing is for sure, my sudden arrival made me realize I wasn't forgotten. And for what short time we had, what little things occurred were what I promised myself never to forget.
In my own bubble, I came to my conclusion of the factors I considered throwing away. I opted to see my friends whom I shared a year with. But I did not know that you would appear in an unexpected scene even before the one that I have played a hundred times in my mind.
I was alone when you came. You were there, standing beside your friends, looking at me with your eyes I've always seen glancing at me. I thought I was forgotten because that was what I planned to do. But my belief was a false account.
They bombarded me with questions, mostly of comics. Yet the ones that came from you were different. Albeit during that time, I still didn't figure out your clues.
Were you hoping? Did you want to see me again? I do not know. Do not. Yes, because up until now, I am still perplexed of the situations.
I remember people saying that seeing someone from your poignant past was very difficult. I am to prove, however, that it did not apply to my experience.
The memories we shared were never a reality for others. They were unspoken, unheard, and unseen, even for us. But we knew it and felt it inside us. Of course, there was no assurance that something special between us happened. We rarely talked. We were rarely seen with each other. And what little things we did with the presence of another were even limited.
Maybe you are laughing right now, unbelieving of what I had written and doubting of my hidden reciprocation to your actions. But I will prove it to you.
I wasn't blind to your frequent gazes. I could see you turning your head either in the side to look at me or in a 180-degree and obvious turn from the front. I may be looking on the rough ground but I know that you are waiting for me from afar until I reach the door. I wasn't deaf when you told Mochu how you felt when I smiled. I heard it all, the constant shouting of your name to be my partner in an activity, the cheers and hoots of our classmates when you were called next to me, and your shushing of Koko when he suggested that we looked like were marrying each other when we had a group game when in truth was, we were competitors and we were just assigned to be on the spot beside each other. I saw the look in your eyes when I had to leave the room because my duty called. And I saw it too, the way you sat up straight from your sleeping position when I came inside the room, and sat on a chair placed along my row.
Did you know how happy I felt when you sat beside me while I was sketching our group work? We were alone in the corridor that time and you were just asking, and asking me questions. And when Kitsuneme arrived, he invited you to go with him but you declined. You just sat beside me. Kitsuneme never forced you after. I understood that he knew why you wanted to stay. Did you know how nervous I felt when you and our other guy classmates refused to follow Narumi's instruction to leave the room because we will be presenting our work? Again, you stayed there. Have you got any idea how conscious I grew when you asked Yuu to record our presentation in his phone? I wouldn't mind it if not for the fact that Yuu only started recording it when it was my turn. You skipped Wakako's introduction.
But this letter is nothing but late for you gave up. You didn't ask me. You cowered. You went to another girl. Maybe I was acting all guarded, but if only you had clarified things with me, the result will count for all those games. If probably, I wrote this before, I would blush. However, I do not feel anything now but happiness. I am happy because I will be able to tell you how much I appreciated the clues of your motive.
I can still remember that sunny afternoon of the day I came back when you surprised me. I was waiting alone, passing the time until the clock strikes and I have to leave again. The academy looks peaceful in my plain view. I saw you went out from the classroom. I did not know where you went and came from as I sat there on the corridor alone. To her? Or to somewhere else? It doesn't matter.
"When is your flight?" You just stood there, smiling like you have always been.
"Later at 4 p.m."
"Any plans for the winter break?"
I thought before answering. "I still don't know. It depends if the academy there will approve of it."
"It's your choice. What's there to think about?"
"I'm still not sure." I shrugged.
"You'll be visiting us, right? You're coming back?"
I gave you a smile before you left. Ruka, you are silly. Do you know that? I was happy that you asked of those questions but please, don't give me false hopes. You are showing how much you love your current girlfriend to the world. Do not talk me into those things. I am done and over with your affections. It's time to move on.
I just want you to know that out of all that happened that day, our short stupor from the truth that afternoon made it at the top. It did not matter if not everyone missed me. I am contented with your matter.
I am over you. I do not feel any regret. What little things we secretly had were treasures for me. I was happy meeting you again.
I wish you luck. May your relationship with each other grow and fruit until eternity. I hope that one day, when our paths cross again, we will smile like that day with someone else clasping our own hands. Until we meet Ruka.
Sincerely yours,
Hotaru Imai
P.S. Throw this letter after you're done reading it. Don't regret the things you chose to let go.
(A/n:) Thanks to KidTantei for correcting some errors. :) I uploaded this last night and I was dizzy so it left my mind to edit this story. So really thanks to her.
I also forgot that this was supposed to be where I will announcing that updates of my ON-GOING stories will be super late. If you want to know the status of each, check my profile. Thank you. And please leave reviews. They will all be very much appreciated.
Elle.