Hi! So I'm Autumn, I belong to multiple fandoms including The Hunger Games, Percy Jackson, The Mortal Instruments, The Host, and obviously Divergent. I'd love feedback, thanks! Enjoy!
The Pit is silent around me, a sleeping animal. Shops are locked up for the night with flickering lights shadowing the path in front of me. Everyone else is in their apartment or dorm, snuggling with a book…or more likely a gun. Moonlight filters through the roof and glows brighter as I near the surface. My destination, the fear landscape. My inspiration, one more restless night.
Carefully, I make my way to the familiar cement room. The locked doors greet me like old friends and I swipe my ID through the scanner. My name and picture pop up, blond hair, skinny, frame, and piercing gray eyes. Seventeen. This is me. Tris Prior. The girl with seven fears. The girl hiding a not so secret secret. Divergence.
As the door clicks open, the barely noticeable scuff of shoes on the floor breaks through the eerie quiet. He's noticed my lack of sleep, the bags under my eyes. Denial only gets me so far, and now here he is.
"Tobias." I wish my voice would sound accusing, but the warmth of affection can't be blown out.
His arms are suddenly wrapped around my narrow waist. Shivers course through my body like electricity at the touch. With him here, my heartbeat doesn't stand a chance.
"Tris." As he speaks my name my heart quivers. "So this is what steals you away every night."
I spin in his embrace and put my hands on his shoulders. Raising on my tip toes, I lean my head into his until my lips graze his earlobe. "Can't handle a little friendly competition, Four?"
"We'll see Tris. Let's get on with it. We have to train initiates in," he pauses to glance at his silver faced watch, "two hours."
His words startle me. "You don't actually think I'm letting you see this do you? Because it's not happening." But my voice wavers, when Tobias wants something, he gets it.
Wordlessly he grabs a small black box from the old filing cabinet and pulls out two syringes. I brush my hair to the side in defeat and expose my neck. His fingertips sweep across my tattoo before resting them at the nape of my neck. The pain is sharp and quick. I do the same to him and pray my hands stop shaking. This is about facing my fears, not stressing them.
Tobias slips his hand into mine and we walk into the room side by side, although it's no longer a room. Replacing the walls are miles and miles of prairie grass swaying gently in the breeze. Blue skies stretch out above us. I breathe in the fresh summer air and prepare myself. It won't stay this calm for long. I can hardly hear the distant flapping of wings.
My heart pounds in my throat and my hands shake. I just have to find the gun in the grass. I drop Tobias' hand and fumble for the cold piece of metal hidden in the long weeds. The flapping is louder now and the wind whips around me.
As the first raven's talons pierce my shoulder a cry escapes my lips. My gun is nowhere to be found. I try to swallow my fear, but the thudding of my heart is loud in my ears. But then there's Tobias with his strong embrace and steady eyes.
"Tris. Look at me." I obey and stare into his eyes, a clear unwavering blue. More birds claw at me, twisting around his body to claw at me. They ensnare their beaks in my hair, but all I see is blue. The blue of Tobias' eyes consumes me. His firm grip on my waist shields me from the fear.
The scene fades to gray before sending us into my next fear. Confined in the glass box, drowning. This can't be easy for him either, but this is my battle not his. The elevated glass box, the water slowly and painstakingly drowning me. Memories flood into my mind. The Erudite. My mother sprawled on the ground, her blood pooling on the cement. Breathing in short gasps now, my vision blurs. Panic swells in my chest ass the water climbs up my body. Black creeps around my vision and I squeeze my eyes shut. I can't see Tobias. I can't see the end.
Arms wrap around me. My faces buries into a cotton shirt. "Listen to the sound of my voice Tris. This isn't real, it's all a simulation." I shake my head. This must be real, I've lived it. "Match your breathing to mine." He drags my clenched fists to his heart.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. My heart slows and my breathing comes easily. The water stops rising. My eyes flutter open. Tobias and I are standing on a jagged rock outcropping facing the ocean. The slate is slick with salt water and without Tobias holding me down, I'd be a pebble in the crashing waves.
The moment of anticipation is shattered as a tidal wave builds, the water glinting in the moonlight. It slams down on us and my grip falters. Tobias' hand disappears from my grasp. Losing control is the easy part, gaining it is what breaks me.
Tobias is ripped from me and I am tossed into the ocean, turmoil stirring in its depths. Waves throw me from side to side like a ragdoll. My eyes burn from the saltwater, but I force myself to find the cliff edge. Reaching out, sharp rock edges slice my fingers, but I force myself onto the ledge, the water is tinged crimson around me, but for now I'm safe.
Once again the scene shifts, this time from gray to flaming red. Ropes wrap around my body like snakes. Peter's smirking face glows in the light of the torch he holds. Stars twinkle above me, peaceful light years away. Warmth licks up my legs and I focus on my breathing. In and out.
Tobias stares up at me from the gathered crowd of faceless strangers. Fear flickers in his eyes, reflected by the blazing fire climbing up my stake in the ground. I smile reassuringly and close my eyes against the stinging smoke clouding around my body. Rain. I picture looming gray clouds, water flooding the ground, thunder rumbling. Wet drops slide down my face, and I shudder victoriously.
It's over. The last two fears are always the worst. If only I was like Tobias with only four fears to face. Unfortunately I'm not that fearless.
My old room is the same as the day I left it. Plain gray quilts folded pristinely on the bed, a hand me down desk in the corner, and my closet of gray Abnegation clothes. The only difference is the boy standing next to me and the mutilated faces pressed against my windows.
Their faces are ghostly pale, their palms pressed against the glass with clawing, spidery fingers. With empty eye sockets and shark teeth with needle points, these are monsters inhabiting nightmares.
My windows slide open with a whir and they crawl on all fours, craning their necks at odd angles to get a better look at their prey, me. I squeeze Tobias' hand and lead him into my close. Childhood experiences or not, he puts on a brave face and follows me. He shields me with his body and we share gasping breaths. In normal situations this would send pinpricks of pleasure up my spine, now all I feel is the pounding of my heart in my throat.
Slamming my closet door shut with a bang, I throw Tobias and I into darkness. I crouch down and rest my head against the wall, taking deep breaths. Tobias sits next to me and silently pulls me into his lap. As fists pound and scratch at the quivering door, bury my head in his chest. His breath tickles my hair and his scent fills me with thoughts of safety.
The door shudders on its hinges just as I feel the wall behind us give way. The scene switches for the last time.
Four walls. One white plaster ceiling. One hardwood floor. One bed with two pillows. Tobias and I are alone. He is here with me in the one fear that features him. The one fear that refuses to budge. Intimacy.
Tobias is steady next to me, his fingertips barely grazing my waist, a hint of confusion in his eyes.
"Tris, what is this?" He whips his head from side to side, waiting for a silent attack to protect me from. I feel his eyes burning holes in my side.
"Well," my voice wavers, "this is my fear of…" I hesitate. "My fear of intimacy." My cheeks turn tomato red and my eyes train on the floor. I count every knot in the wood, afraid to think about the situation too much.
He chuckles and I duck my head more. He spins me around in his arms to face him. "If that's all…" he cuts himself off and leans down to me. His hands tangle in my hair, his forehead rests against mine. We share breaths and my hands tremble on his hips. Not with fear, with something else. Yearning.
Tobias' voice drops to a raspy, out of breath whisper. "To make it better we have to make it worse, right?" His eyes fill mine and his parted lips are slightly chapped and inviting.
I barely nod before his lips are pressed to mine eagerly. He tilts his head and deepens the kiss, tracing his tongue across my bottom lip He tastes like cinnamon and salt water as his fingers slip under the hem of my tank. There's no doubt in my mind. This is love.
My hands trace his spine through his shirt and I smile as I kiss him. He bends to place his lips tenderly on each raven tattoo, tickling the sensitive skin over my collar bone. A sigh escapes my lips and my eyes slip from his gaze.
Around us, the bed is gone, leaving only the graffitied cement fear landscape. He got me through it. I got through it. Perhaps love is a type of fear, or maybe it's the other way around.
I place a light kiss on his lips and splay my hands on his chest. "Looks like you can call me Six from now on."
Tobias' smile is heart stopping. "I'd rather just call you mine."