In the dark

For some random reason I closed my eyes when we crossed the portal. The last view I had was of her deep blue eyes fixed intently on mine. I didn't know what to expect, I worked hard to guess every possible future, in a vain attempt to cover all possibilities and prepare properly for whatever it was, but my heart almost escaped from my chest and my hands trembled embarrassingly everytime I tried. What did that invitation meant? Did she liked me back? Would she want the same as I? Will she kiss me? Just the two of us ... I was starting to freak out with so many questions and the only solution was to focus on the most immediate thing to be done.

So I closed my eyes with fear of making any reckless move and when I opened them - though it wasn't possible to see much around because it was really dark, as if it were too late, the sky in a deep dark blue full of stars - I knew I was no longer in Republic City. Korra was still staring, with that intense way she looked at me, and I got afraid she could read my thoughts, because that was exactly what she was trying to do: read me.

I was not so sure what she saw, but I tried to do my best Sato fearless face when i looked back. Her hands transmited that familiar feeling, remembering me that we were still holding hands. I closed my eyes again, taking a deep breath, concentrating on the warmth, and I know I, unintentionally, pressed a bit her fingers. But I still felt so immensely grateful that she was there, that she was alive. I could feel her whole body through the heat wave, because I had become so aware of it as I was of myself.

All those painful three years were nothing, because she came back, she came back to me. When I looked back, Korra were still looking at me, but now her gaze wandered over my face as if she had never seen before, as if it were something entirely new and interesting. Her eyes swept my hair, my eyelashes, my nose, the curve of my cheeks, my jaw line, my mouth...

I bit my lower lip as her pupils dilated lightly, my own eyes running uncontrollable to her mouth, which opened slightly, and I followed, tortured, her gesture of humidify her lips with the tongue, that she use to make when she's anxious and nervous. I exhaled through the nose and squeezed my lip between the teeths painfully, to keep me exactly where I was.

I desperately wanted to kiss her. Directly, decisively. But it was not our first kiss, was it? I had already given to this desire before and all I did was push her away from me. I know it was a little selfish to think that she had gone to the South Pole because I had kissed her, because of course there were so many other things involved, much more importante then that; but in my lonely moments of insecurity I became convinced that she had get away for me being so hasty, that this was the reason she had not accepted my offer to go with her. The thing is: I always did what I wanted, I was Asami. But I never committed the same mistake twice, I was a Sato. So I almost sensed on the tongue the taste of blood as I tried to keep me still.

Nonetheless "Kiss Me!" was the only vigorous thought that occupied my mind. I didn't mind I had never been there before, that was a whole other world. Because my whole world became her. I just couldn't break away the gaze. I thought that if I move any inch, it would break that suffocating tension - and I didn't know if I wanted to. Maybe that was now the only way of protection: stay in that suspended moment. Because it could be now, it could be an yes, she could finally be ready to receive what I had to give to her. But it also could be the end, could be a no, she could never be mine and i could never be hers.

But I realized that I would be lost, whatever would be, either yes or no as answer. There was no salvation for me. So I gave in to my overwhelming urge to discover, it was imperative. Although fit in me an ocean of patience. It would have to be just a matter of when, because I just couldn't settle on not knowing about something. No matter how much it would take, but I had to come to an answer. And about that, I needed to know.

Then finally let my lip, feeling the crease that had formed internally, and exhaled heavily, waking Korra of her apparent trance in which she had entered.

– Asami ... – her voice was hoarse, but still so sweet that it was as if she had embraced me. – I think... We need to talk.

– No, Korra, we don't. – I told her at the same low and sweet voice, but firmly. She needed to know that nothing had changed for me. Nothing would change...

She looked at me again in the eye and nodded slightly once. Then she raised her hand and touched my face gently. I closed my eyes again on impulse, struggling to contain all that it caused me, all my senses focusing on her touch. I heard her release a slow breath, reaching my face by proximity, and then slide her hand to my neck, seeping through my hair, and her body move towards mine, leaning up.

My whole body trembled in anticipation of the touch of her lips, she still held my right hand in hers and her body touched me before her mouth, our breasts pressing. I opened slightly my lips, exhaling shakily, and that's how her lips found mine in a soft hesitantly touch, but in a different way. It was not like she did not know what to do or if she didn't wanted to. It was like she was telling me she wasn't going anywhere, never to run away and hurt me again, if I accepted, if I wanted to. And I wanted to. It was everything I wanted.

So I left her fingers and held her face in my hands, deepening the kiss. Something had exploded in my chest and I was not sure whether it hurt or if it was the best feeling I had ever experienced in life. I felt her arms holding me strongly from my waist and everything I felt, everything I tasted, everything that I was breathing was her. Korra. My Korra.