Prompt: Emma sends a letter to a old friend around their friendship, and it breaks her heart to do so. When she finally reads it she finally understands.
(A/N: Hello, and welcome to my story! It's been so long since I've uploaded a one-shot since I've been writing my multi-chapter Looking After You (information about that and myself can be found in the second A/N at the end), so I decided, why not write another one in between! I'm going to keep this short, so you can start reading soon and I won't keep you too long. :P If you enjoy this, please fav, follow (for some reason though this is a one-chapter-story, hehe), and tell your friends about it! Also, feel free to tell me how you feel about the story in the review section below! Your thoughts are appreciated, believe me. Enjoy!)
Warnings: Viewer discretion advised. Some swearing and angst. This is based (and changed slightly for character purposes) on a REAL message for a REAL friend I had, which was sent by ME, believe it or not. Real feelings were put into the message, and I had her permission to upload this. The person to which Emma is sending this to can be canon or non-canon, as I don't include any name in the letter. Your imagination counts in the making and reading of this.
Disclaimer: I don't own OUAT or any of the characters used in the writing of this story, nor anything else you may recognise. Regards!
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I'm just going to say this in advance.
You've been really busy lately, and, I assume, have grown to love high school, yes?
It's totally fine. I'm loving my high school too.
The thing is, we, as friends, never see each other anymore, and it seems like neither one of us want to try at a conversation anymore.
It makes me sad to say it, but it's true.
Please enjoy your school life, and the friends you'll make and the people you'll meet along the way, because you know I only wish you the best.
But now we have to move on, so early on in the year, because I don't want either of us to separate in bad terms.
You've been a great friend to me in the few times we had together, and I thank you for the fond memories we shared, really, I do. That's why you truly have to forget about me. Do me at least one favour before you yell at me and hear me out.
Friendship is hard for me, as, growing up at a small age, I had little to no friends at my school, then... I found some people that I really, really loved. They stayed with me through thick and thin, laughed along with me in the good times, and respected me in the bad. Like you have.
And then... they all left.
You have to know that 1998 was the hardest year for me.
My friends left the school. All of them, even a guy I sort of liked. I didn't - and still don't - deal with separation and being alone easily, even if I deny it.
Then, the next year, I tried being friends with a couple people. Some were sticking with me until they eventually had to leave, and some, er... of course, well, some were dickheads. Twats.
Then I found you.
Did you know it took me time to stick to you? All those years of people leaving and doubt didn't sit well, but I loved the click we had as friends, and damn did we have fun.
Though the sad times, and the moments where we never spoke and the times I thought to myself, "Maybe she'll never come back."
You... might have had the same thoughts. I know I can't be selfish to make you think that you had no emotional damage here too.
But then we started to hang out with different people.
You preferred that crowd to me, and that was fine.
Oh, actually, no, it wasn't.
I felt abandoned and alone, and so, so SCARED.
I found a new set of friends to replace the void you left in me, and dear god was it hard. We began to part, only faintly thought of as friends. And for what? For hanging onto the last string we had? We had no purpose, no real reason to do so, anyway.
At least that was what I think.
We both know that seeing each other again will be something that happens less often than we ever imagined.
We had so many broken promises, you know.
Visiting my house, I remember, we thought to tell our parents on my birthday, going to the same school.
...Sticking together.
How much time will you need to realize that this is the truth?
I know you won't accept this right away. Hell, I don't think I will either.
Thanks for all the memories we held together. The laughs and the sorrow we faced together.
Do you believe it's behind us now? I don't. They still find a place in my heart, they always will, believe me.
I took a wide approach to this, I know. It's true, though. I've felt this way for a long time now. Have you?
Our conversations hold no base like they used to. Our relationship as friends was already sinking, and we have no string to hold onto now.
You don't have to forgive me, as I'm sure you won't. Because you know what? I'm not sorry for anything I just said right now. No sugar-coating. No lies.
Just me.
And that's really what I always wanted you to accept, yet you didn't. I always felt like you always retracted, expected so much of me and always wanted to change me into somebody I wasn't.
So you left when you gave up.
I haven't made a false declaration just because, maybe, I offended you - It's the truth and nothing but it, even if we lie and say it isn't you know in your heart that it really is.
You know my history, and I know yours.
Share it.
Share it with the world.
I don't care. In fact, I hope you do.
Because our friendship was one of the best things I ever had during our elementary and middle school years.
Our friendship was our infinity, and I still had so much to tell you, teach you, laugh with you about. Yet you turned and left me.
And we were isolated from each other into two different worlds, and I deny nothing of it. You always said that you'd never forget me. That I was always going to be your friend. Not your best friend.
No. Not at all.
I lost my position there, and I don't mean to offend anyone else by saying that.
I'd often ask myself why this happened. After all, what we had lasted longer than most, yeah?
Well, go ahead and talk to your other friends about it. I'm not jealous any more. I found my true identity and you seemed to have held me back.
Because I was so weak? Or I was so delusional to think that you would still always be at my side?
You figure it out. You always had all the answers after all, haven't you?
I hope you've read this all, because it was something I really needed to tell you.
I know you will respond and deny this.
You will realize one day.
Or maybe you already did?
The times you hurt me, abandoned me made me stronger, and made me a better person, shaped me to what I am today. Someone who isn't fake or dishonest or unhappy. Someone who I've always wanted to be.
That's what so bittersweet about you.
It was fun while it lasted, and I hope you feel the same way too. Remember that you're a funny, smart, beautiful person and you will always be.
"It just wasn't good enough."
A girl sat cross-legged on the woolly carpeting of her bedroom, reading a letter written with sharp, bold handwriting. She'd only received it just now in the mailbox, which she'd picked up after walking from home to school. Usually letters were bills or postcards from travel destinations around the globe meant for her parents, so she was surprised to see her name on the envelope in the same sharp scrawl.
She should have recognised who it was from. Recognised the handwriting. It told her so much.
Tears silently travelled across her cheek, onto her chin then to the floor.
She'd never read a letter that would bring so much sadness and regret before, and never had she hoped to.
The girl swore to herself to never ever make someone feel the way she did as she read the final words, letting large drops of tears stain the inking without care.
Love, Emma.
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(A/N: I hoped you liked this little one-shot, guys! I really enjoyed writing most of this, although it was hard. And for any Looking After You fans, yes, I hope to upload the next chapter on time this week! I love you all!
Info:
Looking After You is a Captain Swan story, consisting of drabble-like (though sometimes I write full-on) chapters. It's slow paced, as it is a slice-of-life AU and it must be realistic. It's, at the moment, at it's 16th chapter. It won't be done (most likely) until much later this year if all goes according to plan. You'll have to read it if you want to find out what happens. ;)
I wrote other stories of OUAT, and this is the first non-CS story I've written. :P I also wrote a story for Corpse Party. If you're a fan of it, I recommend checking it out - at your own risk.
I'm also going to be writing a Kaichou Wa Maid-Sama fanfic pretty soon, so watch out for that if you're interested!
Have a great V-Day later this month! And I hope to be seeing you soon on my other stories! Cheers!~)