A/N:  This is one of the earlier fics that I've written.  It was my first serio-comedy.  It went on the back burner for a really long time, and I've decided to post the first chapter on here to see what kind of response I get and determine whether or not I should continue the fic.  I just realized that I always have original characters, and they're usually female… that's weird… The theme song for this chapter was also the inspiration for the fic.  It's "Hemorrhage (In My Hands)", by Fuel.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters except the OC'S. Caytin owns Toba June. I wish I owned some of them. Such as Fred. Damn he is fine. There are quite a few others I could name, but hey, all you gotta do is look at some fan art and be able to tell which of those sexy British wizards I would love to own… My wand is bigger than yours… OOOOH! I just wanted to say that. :)

Hemorrhage (In My Hands), by Fuel

Memories are just where you laid them
Dragging the waters till the depths give up their dead
What did you expect to find?
Was it something you left behind?
Don't you remember anything I said when I said,

[Chorus:]
Don't fall away and leave me to myself
Don't fall away and leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again
And leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands
Love lies bleeding

Oh hold me now I feel contagious
Am I the only place that you've left to go?
She cries her life is like
Some movie in black and white
Dead actors faking lines, over and over and over again she cries

[Chorus]

And I watched as you turned away
You don't remember, but I do
You never even tried

Don't fall away and leave me to myself
Don't fall away and leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again, oh

CHAPTER 1: On the Job

Seven o'clock in the morning. Time to begin a new day running Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. It had always been a dream of his to run a joke shop, with his identical twin brother, George. Now George was gone, at the hands of He Who Must Not Be Named, and he was left to run the shop on his own.

He got out of bed, and readied himself to sell the inventions he and George had come up with as teenagers. It was hard to look at all of the creations, and know that his twin wasn't there to bask in the success alongside him. Almost one year ago, You Know Who had attacked a crowded street in Hogsmeade, and George had been one of the many killed.

The Dark Side had risen up from the ashes to wreak havoc on the wizarding world at the end of his sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Much of the magical world lay in ruins. Diagon Alley, Hogwarts, and a few things here and there were about all that was left.

He walked down from his flat above the store, and opened up. It was going to be another long, painful day for Fred Weasley.

Meanwhile, Audra Wiggins and Carmen Wesson were sitting in an office at the C.I.A. headquarters in Langley, West Virginia.

"Ladies, this assignment is crucial to national security. It has come to our attention that Iraq has developed a new and more deadly form of nuclear weaponry. You will be traveling to London, where you will meet with Britain's top agents. From there, you will go to Iraq, and find out, exactly, what makes this nuke tick.

The head of the C.I.A., Alex Spillman, was speaking. It would not be the first time Audra and Carmen had been entrusted with such an important task. They were the Agency's top agents, and specialized in nuclear weapons.

Within the hour, Wiggins and Wesson were on a private jet, whose destination was Heathrow Airport in London.

When the plane landed, they set off towards one of the many hamburger places in London's shopping district. There, they would be meeting the British agents.

Before they even sat down, though, they saw a bright flash of light, and were both sucked into it.

It was as if they were being ripped apart, limb from limb, until they finally materialized in a strange little shop, where two very similar looking redheaded men were standing, staring at them. One had his bright red hair bound in a long ponytail, and was wearing an earring that had a rather large fang dangling from it. He was dressed as though he were about to attend a Korn concert. The other had hair just below his ears, and was wearing what looked like a rather large black dress type judge's robes type outfit thing. Both were equally good looking.

"What in the FUCK just happened?" Audra screamed.

"Well, um, didn't you just Apparate here?" the one with the ponytail asked.

"Whatever that is… no," both women replied.

"Well, did you maybe, happen to pick up what looked like a useless piece of trash? It could have been a Portkey … although I haven't set up for anyone to arrive today…" said the Dress Boy.

"No, we didn't," Carmen replied.

"Hmm… well that's just freaky," the ponytail mused.

"Well, FUCK ME sideways, and call me BLUE!" Carmen yelled.

The men raised eyebrows, seemingly amused.

"Okay, umm… well I am Fred Weasley, owner of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, and this is my oldest brother, Bill. Don't know how that helps any, but…" said Your Honor.

The women calmed down a little, and Audra said, "I am Audra Wiggins, and this is my colleague, Carmen Wesson. We are in London on a business trip from the States, and were, in fact, meeting some people at a hamburger place, when we saw a bright flash of light, and got sucked in. Then we landed here."

"That's strange. Well, now, you are in Diagon Alley, a hidden part of London. You won't, of course, remember any of this when we get everything sorted out. So, what kind of business are you on?" Bill asked.

Carmen chose to ignore the remembering comment, for now, and said, "If we told you that, we'd have to kill you."

Fred and Bill laughed.

"No, seriously. Top secret, confidential type stuff," Audra added.

"Nothing illegal, I hope?" Fred asked.

"Nope, not quite. Now, if you could show us the way out of Dragon Square, or whatever you said it was, we'd be much appreciative," Carmen replied.

"I'll take you," Bill offered, and held the door open for them

Carmen got through fine, but the door slammed shut when Audra walked towards it.

"Whoa, gust of wind there," Bill said as he reopened the door.

Audra started to walk through, but couldn't.

"Come on, then," Bill said.

"I… I can't," Audra replied, confused. "It's like there's some sort of force field blocking me in."

Fred got up to help her out the door, and they got out with no problems.

But, as soon as Fred was back in the store, Audra immediately disappeared, and reappeared back inside.

"Hmm… okay… well Carmen and I will go and try to figure this out. Audra… you just stay here for a while…"

Fred looked over to the strange American woman standing in his joke shop, and smiled.

Maybe today wouldn't be such a bad day after all.

A/N:  Okay tell me what ya think.  I really need feedback on this story, so R&R please!