"Let me tell you what Like a Virgin's about. It's all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The entire song- it's a metaphor for big dicks." Me brown started, waving his cigarette around.
"No, it ain't. It's about a girl who's very vulnerable. She's been fucked over a few times and then she meets a guy who's very sensitive." Most of the guys snorted at this, along with brown.
"Whoa! whoa...time out Greenbay. Tell that fucking bullshit to the tourists." Brown countered.
"Toby? Who the fuck is Toby?" Mumbled joes from the seat across as vic puffed his cigarette, trying to create smoke rings like Jennifer had showed him.
"Like a Virgin's not about some sensitive girl who meets a nice fella. That's what True Blue's about. Granted, no argument about that." The strange conversation continued.
"Which one's true Blue?" Vic looked at mr orange. Why did he have a weird feeling about this guy? He looked a little young for the job.
"You ain't heard True Blue? It was a big ass hit for Madonna. I don't even follow that Tops of the Pops shit, and even I've heard of True Blue." Eddie laughed
"Yeah, so - I ain't saying I ain't heard of it. You know; all I asked is how's it go. Excuse me for not being the world's biggest Madonna fan" orange raised his hands in defence
"Personally, I can do without her." Vic said honestly as he continued to smoke.
"I used to like her early stuff- Borderline. When she got all into that Papa Don't Preach phase, I tuned out." Interjected Blue" How the hell did they get into this topic?
"You guys are like making me lose my train of thought here. I was saying something. What was it?"
"Oh, Toby's that little Chinese girl. What was her last name?" Joe continued to mumble and vic was beginning to think he was maybe going senile.
"What's that?" White asked, sick of the name mumbling.
"It's an old address book I found in a coat I haven't worn in a coon's age. What was that name? Chu? Toby Chu?"
"It hurts. It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her. Her pussy should be bubbleyum by now but when this cat fucks her, it hurts" why did they always have to talk about fucking girls? vic had already woken up with a raging ache for Jennifer but she was too tired from her night round at the cafe. He had had to leave with a kiss on her neck " It hurts just like it did the first time. You see, the pain is reminding a fuck machine what it was once like to be a virgin. Hence: Like a Virgin" brown finished proudly.
"Wong."
"Give me that fucking thing." Snapped white, snatching the book from joe's grip
"What the hell do you think you're doing? Give me my book back." They sounded like fuckin' children
"I'm sick of fucking hearing it, Joe. I'll give it back to you when we leave." White promised
"What do you mean when we leave? Give me it back now." Fuckin hell. It was times like these vic thought about pulling a 'Vincent' as he called it (snorting a gram)
"For the past 15 minutes now, you've been droning on about names. Toby... Toby... Toby... Toby Wong... Toby Wong... Toby Wong... Toby Chung... Fucking Charlie Chan. I've got Madonna's big dick coming out of my left ear and Toby the Jap I-don't-know-what, coming out of my right." Orange laughed
"Give me that book." They were like fucking kids
"Are you going to put it away?"
"I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want with it."
"Well, then, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to keep it."
"Hey, Joe, want me to shoot this guy?" Vic asked and everyone laughed
"Shit. You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize." White threatened lightheartedly. 'Just you wait asshole' vic thought but smiled. He didn't like this 'mr white' character.
"Hey, I changed my mind. Shoot this piece of shit, will you?" Joe said and vic made fake guns with his hands, shooting him playfully.
"I'll get this bill. You guys get the tip. Should be a buck piece" joe said before he and white bickered about the book again
"All right. Everybody cough up some green for the little lady" Eddie said. Vic went into his wallet and pulled out a five dollar bill. After Jennifer telling him about the shit pay and how the tips helped he was always a little more generous with the tips
"Come on. Throw in a buck." Eddie demanded to mr pink
"Uh-uh. I don't tip." Vic raised an eyebrow. It must have been guys like this that forced Jennifer to get a second (and degrading) job when he was in prison
"You don't tip?" Eddie asked in surprise
"No - I don't believe in it."
"You don't believe in tipping?"
"You know what these chicks make? They make shit." Blue defended.
"I'm with blue on this" vic said, lighting another cigarette.
"Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit." Vic laughed, not believing what he was hearing. This cheap fuckin-
"I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me just get this straight. You don't ever tip, huh?" Eddie asked again
"I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I mean I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip, if they really put forth the effort, I'll give 'em something extra, but I mean this tipping automatically is for the birds" vic was getting pissed off but tried to remain calm. He didn't want to shoot a guy before the job was done.
"Hey, this girl was nice." Blue defended again
"She was OK - but she wasn't anything special." Pink shrugged
"What's special, take you in the back and suck your dick?" Asked blue and vic coughed slightly. Shit.
"I'd go over 12% for that." Eddie laughed and vic glared at him
"Hey Look, I ordered coffee, right? Now we've been here a long fuckin time, and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times" pink remarked
"Six times? Well, you know, what if she's too fucking busy?" Vic remarked.
He couldn't help but remember the time that he had picked Jennifer up from work but had watched as an arrogant guy had hollered at her to refill his drink. She did so but when she turned away he slapped her ass remarking she was "too slow". To put it Bluntly the guy ended up with some fractured ribs
"Words "too fucking busy" shouldn't be in a waitress' vocabulary." Pink countered. Vic wanted to break his nose.
"Excuse me, Mr. Pink - the last fucking thing you need's another cup of coffee." Eddie remarked and they all laughed.
"Jesus Christ - I mean these ladies aren't starving to death. They make minimum wage. You know, I used to work minimum wage. And when I did, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job society deemed tip-worthy."
"Hey not all of them get good fuckin' tips." Vic countered
"You don't care they're counting on your tips to live?" Blue asked
"You know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses." Vic was gonna break every last one of pink's fingers. Snap. Snap. Sna-"
"You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job." White waved a spoon at pink, toothpick still in his mouth.
"So's working at McDonald's, but you don't feel the need to tip them, do you? Why not? They're servin ya food. But no, society says don't tip these guys over here, but tip these guys over here. That's bullshit." Vic lit another cigarette, trying to calm himself down
"Waitressing is the number one occupation for female noncollege graduates in this country. It's the one job basically any woman can get and make a living on. The reason is because of their tips."
"Fuck all that." Pink shook his head
"Jesus Christ!"
"Hey, I'm very sorry that the government taxes their tips. That's fucked up. That ain't my fault. It would appear that waitresses are just one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. You show me a paper says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. But what I won't do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit you're giving me, I got two words for that: "Learn to fuckin type." Cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big fuckin' surprise." Shrugged pink. It was good fuckin thing Jennifer didn't work in this restaurant ...
"Hey - he's convinced me. Give me my dollar back." Orange leaned in to take his money back. Vic's finger's twitched. Ready to grab orange's and snap the,
"Hey! Leave the dollars there." Eddie demanded, slamming the table
"All right, ramblers, let's get ramblin'. Wait a minute. Who didn't throw in?" Joe demanded as he returned to the table and looked at the green notes.
"Mr. Pink." Orange named
"Mr. Pink? Why not?"
"He don't tip." Orange said
"He don't tip? What do you mean you don't tip?"
"He don't believe in it."
"Shut up." Joes snapped at orange, raising a hand. " What do you mean you don't believe in it? Come on, you, cough up a buck, you cheap bastard. I paid for your goddamn breakfast."
"Alright - since you paid for the breakfast, I'll put in, but normally I would never do this." Vic wouldn't have to break so many fingers after all
"Never mind what you normally would do. Just cough in your goddamn buck like everybody else. Thank you." He snatched the dollar from pink and the book from white. They all got up and began to move out before one of them got shot...